Really heard a super sad conversation at work… can’t get allos
I work at a place with people older than me, and I’m also the only guy there. So I keep to myself sometimes, cuz I truly can’t relate with them sometimes.
The person who sits in the cubicle next to mine is the “designated meet up” spot for a lot of the older women. They forget I’m there and sometimes talk.
One lady, who’s like late 30s, said her husband has been having a stressful time at work, and has been having “performance issues”(she went into detail but I’ll spare you guys). But he’s allergic to something in the pill you take for those things, and he can’t do it. She says they tried alternate stuff, but she can’t “see him as a man anymore” and wants to leave him. Even though, she confessed this is due to the work stress in his life right now(he started his own business recently and left a steady job to do it, with his wife’s encouragement).
They have kids together, and she wants to leave him over this. And everyone else agreed. Let me repeat… EVERY SINGLE FRIEND AGREED AND TOLD HER TO LEAVE OR CHEAT!!!
These two have been together for 12 years and these issues only started 7-8 months ago.
I understand a healthy sex life is needed for allos, but man, hearing that 7-8 months of hardship was enough for her to leave her husband was insane. And I know allo men are the same given how many people we see cheat during their wife’s pregnancy.
I understand the importance of sex for them, but leaving someone you built a life with and “not seeing him as a man” over it?
I’m okay to die alone, but I don’t think I’ll ever date an allo. I’ll continue waiting for an ace woman. Sorry for the rant, but this just broke my heart hearing this. Wish people valued relationships beyond sex.
https://redd.it/1nr3xoe
@asexualityonreddit
I work at a place with people older than me, and I’m also the only guy there. So I keep to myself sometimes, cuz I truly can’t relate with them sometimes.
The person who sits in the cubicle next to mine is the “designated meet up” spot for a lot of the older women. They forget I’m there and sometimes talk.
One lady, who’s like late 30s, said her husband has been having a stressful time at work, and has been having “performance issues”(she went into detail but I’ll spare you guys). But he’s allergic to something in the pill you take for those things, and he can’t do it. She says they tried alternate stuff, but she can’t “see him as a man anymore” and wants to leave him. Even though, she confessed this is due to the work stress in his life right now(he started his own business recently and left a steady job to do it, with his wife’s encouragement).
They have kids together, and she wants to leave him over this. And everyone else agreed. Let me repeat… EVERY SINGLE FRIEND AGREED AND TOLD HER TO LEAVE OR CHEAT!!!
These two have been together for 12 years and these issues only started 7-8 months ago.
I understand a healthy sex life is needed for allos, but man, hearing that 7-8 months of hardship was enough for her to leave her husband was insane. And I know allo men are the same given how many people we see cheat during their wife’s pregnancy.
I understand the importance of sex for them, but leaving someone you built a life with and “not seeing him as a man” over it?
I’m okay to die alone, but I don’t think I’ll ever date an allo. I’ll continue waiting for an ace woman. Sorry for the rant, but this just broke my heart hearing this. Wish people valued relationships beyond sex.
https://redd.it/1nr3xoe
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the asexuality community on Reddit
Explore this post and more from the asexuality community
What's the worst thing about trying to date as an asexual?
I'll go first!
It's so exhausting and depressing when you're upfront with your sexuality and your potential partner says they're okay with it. You start dating. You draw your boundaries. Then suddenly they're not okay with it.
And they're not okay with it in like the most infuriating ways. You'll be post-romantic date, cuddling, kissing, exchanging confessions of adoration, and then they ask for more and you say you don't want to. Now suddenly because you don't want to have sex they "don't feel loved" even after all the hours of other loving stuff that happened before that. Now suddenly they're taking it personally, thinking they "did something wrong" and that's why you don't want to. Maybe they get mad, focusing entirely on their needs and ignoring yours. And they just can't grasp that your lack of lust doesn't have anything to do with them or anything they did or didn't do. You get the cold shoulder as they suddenly turn away. Now YOU feel like the bad guy for enforcing your boundaries and saying no.
Love turns into a math equation of how many times do you need to have sex in a given time span to save the relationship. How long do you have to prepare ahead of time to even be in some semblance of a mood to do it. Now it's all about numbers and planning instead of how you feel, trying to schedule in intimacy instead of letting it occur naturally.
It happens every time. They always think they can handle it. But they never can, and they make it your fault, even though you told them before you even started that you were ace. They just thought they could magically "fix" you, that they will be the "right one" to make you normal, and they get offended when you don't change for them.
https://redd.it/1nrhk3r
@asexualityonreddit
I'll go first!
It's so exhausting and depressing when you're upfront with your sexuality and your potential partner says they're okay with it. You start dating. You draw your boundaries. Then suddenly they're not okay with it.
And they're not okay with it in like the most infuriating ways. You'll be post-romantic date, cuddling, kissing, exchanging confessions of adoration, and then they ask for more and you say you don't want to. Now suddenly because you don't want to have sex they "don't feel loved" even after all the hours of other loving stuff that happened before that. Now suddenly they're taking it personally, thinking they "did something wrong" and that's why you don't want to. Maybe they get mad, focusing entirely on their needs and ignoring yours. And they just can't grasp that your lack of lust doesn't have anything to do with them or anything they did or didn't do. You get the cold shoulder as they suddenly turn away. Now YOU feel like the bad guy for enforcing your boundaries and saying no.
Love turns into a math equation of how many times do you need to have sex in a given time span to save the relationship. How long do you have to prepare ahead of time to even be in some semblance of a mood to do it. Now it's all about numbers and planning instead of how you feel, trying to schedule in intimacy instead of letting it occur naturally.
It happens every time. They always think they can handle it. But they never can, and they make it your fault, even though you told them before you even started that you were ace. They just thought they could magically "fix" you, that they will be the "right one" to make you normal, and they get offended when you don't change for them.
https://redd.it/1nrhk3r
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the asexuality community on Reddit
Explore this post and more from the asexuality community
Just found this sex-repulsed flag! Is it true? Do we really have a flag for us sex-repulsed people?
https://redd.it/1nrmrzo
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1nrmrzo
@asexualityonreddit
The sex repulsed aces are having a field day with this one
https://redd.it/1nro4o4
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1nro4o4
@asexualityonreddit
Made a New NSFW Sub for Aces
Yeah, I know the Allos will be scratching their heads about it lol.
I know we have Asexual Porn but that's more of a meme joke place (which I love, we Aces are funny as hell if I do say so myself).
However, I've actually discovered a lot of other Asexual people in the NSFW reddit world of all places. Seems like there are lots of us moving in those spaces but... quietly. Like we Aces have been doing many things, because Allos are just so fucking loud (metaphorically speaking).
I find myself struggling to even know where to post things I am wanting to post because all the spaces are so full of the Allosexual gaze that I can't navigate them well.
Anyway, I made aceapprovednsfw so myself & others could have a space that is geared to our aesthetic gaze; rather than the super sexual NSFW spaces that exist like that. It is Sex Positive but not Sex Driven; so things that are often labeled Sexual is the goal; while not allowing anything that shows sex acts of any kind (solo sex is still sex people. All types of sex are sex when you are taking to Ace people especially ahaha).
Cross posting is welcome & encouraged to give a boost & credit to NSFW creators out there; original content that is not sex driven is also welcome.
Body Positive & Self-Love/Acceptance is the name of the game; quality of the composition matters more than idea beauty standards.
I'm on a mission to join my favorite Ace representation person as an equal someday; I invite any person on the Ace spectrum to travel the path with me by joining this space I made (+18 only, sorry baby Aces, I love you too but this is not for you guys).
*Also if you have experience as a Mod, I would LOVE to add someone else as a Mod since I am still learning lots about reddit.
https://redd.it/1nrkeak
@asexualityonreddit
Yeah, I know the Allos will be scratching their heads about it lol.
I know we have Asexual Porn but that's more of a meme joke place (which I love, we Aces are funny as hell if I do say so myself).
However, I've actually discovered a lot of other Asexual people in the NSFW reddit world of all places. Seems like there are lots of us moving in those spaces but... quietly. Like we Aces have been doing many things, because Allos are just so fucking loud (metaphorically speaking).
I find myself struggling to even know where to post things I am wanting to post because all the spaces are so full of the Allosexual gaze that I can't navigate them well.
Anyway, I made aceapprovednsfw so myself & others could have a space that is geared to our aesthetic gaze; rather than the super sexual NSFW spaces that exist like that. It is Sex Positive but not Sex Driven; so things that are often labeled Sexual is the goal; while not allowing anything that shows sex acts of any kind (solo sex is still sex people. All types of sex are sex when you are taking to Ace people especially ahaha).
Cross posting is welcome & encouraged to give a boost & credit to NSFW creators out there; original content that is not sex driven is also welcome.
Body Positive & Self-Love/Acceptance is the name of the game; quality of the composition matters more than idea beauty standards.
I'm on a mission to join my favorite Ace representation person as an equal someday; I invite any person on the Ace spectrum to travel the path with me by joining this space I made (+18 only, sorry baby Aces, I love you too but this is not for you guys).
*Also if you have experience as a Mod, I would LOVE to add someone else as a Mod since I am still learning lots about reddit.
https://redd.it/1nrkeak
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the asexuality community on Reddit
Explore this post and more from the asexuality community
Confused on if I’m ace cause I’m still feel sexually attracted to cartoon characters
By definition, asexuality is described as:
“experiencing little to no sexual attraction.”
And That still feels true for me when it comes to real people.
But at the same time, I can’t deny that I do feel sexual attraction toward cartoon/drawn characters.
So That’s where I get confused.
Cause on one hand, since they’re not “real,” it feels like they shouldn’t count.
But on the other, I’m technically still am experiencing that sexual attraction feeling towards somethin, which contradict the definition of “feeling no sexual attraction.”
So maybe I’m not actually asexual, and that’s fine.
But just wanted to put the thought out there to get some insight or perspective on it.
And if I am still ace, then what’s makes me still asexual, despite being sexually attracted to drawn characters?
I’m questioning this now cause a friend who was just curious to learn. question that fact, and to some extent it made sense. And I didn’t know how to reply. So I come here for some insight
Thank you!
https://redd.it/1nrugkj
@asexualityonreddit
By definition, asexuality is described as:
“experiencing little to no sexual attraction.”
And That still feels true for me when it comes to real people.
But at the same time, I can’t deny that I do feel sexual attraction toward cartoon/drawn characters.
So That’s where I get confused.
Cause on one hand, since they’re not “real,” it feels like they shouldn’t count.
But on the other, I’m technically still am experiencing that sexual attraction feeling towards somethin, which contradict the definition of “feeling no sexual attraction.”
So maybe I’m not actually asexual, and that’s fine.
But just wanted to put the thought out there to get some insight or perspective on it.
And if I am still ace, then what’s makes me still asexual, despite being sexually attracted to drawn characters?
I’m questioning this now cause a friend who was just curious to learn. question that fact, and to some extent it made sense. And I didn’t know how to reply. So I come here for some insight
Thank you!
https://redd.it/1nrugkj
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the asexuality community on Reddit
Explore this post and more from the asexuality community
Why is it that when im more comfortable in my relationship, the less i want sex. Is this asexuality?
Usually at the beginning stages of a relationship, or even when things are a little toxic, I have a sex drive but as soon as I'm comfortable, trust my partner and the relationship is healthy, i dont get the urge for sex.
Im wondering was it all performative in the beginning (but i was turned on though) but as soon as i actually feel safe, i can actually be myself (asexual?). Does anyone relate at all?
https://redd.it/1ns0x8m
@asexualityonreddit
Usually at the beginning stages of a relationship, or even when things are a little toxic, I have a sex drive but as soon as I'm comfortable, trust my partner and the relationship is healthy, i dont get the urge for sex.
Im wondering was it all performative in the beginning (but i was turned on though) but as soon as i actually feel safe, i can actually be myself (asexual?). Does anyone relate at all?
https://redd.it/1ns0x8m
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the Asexual community on Reddit
Explore this post and more from the Asexual community
I only recently watched Jaiden's video and it makes me sad
https://redd.it/1ns1vhg
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1ns1vhg
@asexualityonreddit
Do you sometimes wish your weren’t Ace?
For context, I have known I’m ace for over 13 years now. I have lived a ton of things since, but for the last couple of months, I’ve felt like I would love to be « normal ». If there was a cure, a treatment, whatever, I would take it if it meant that I felt more normal, as if it was a sickness of something.
Today, this feeling hasn’t left my mind and my heart.
https://redd.it/1ns8074
@asexualityonreddit
For context, I have known I’m ace for over 13 years now. I have lived a ton of things since, but for the last couple of months, I’ve felt like I would love to be « normal ». If there was a cure, a treatment, whatever, I would take it if it meant that I felt more normal, as if it was a sickness of something.
Today, this feeling hasn’t left my mind and my heart.
https://redd.it/1ns8074
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the Asexual community on Reddit
Explore this post and more from the Asexual community
What do you guys think about todd chavez from bojack horseman ?
https://redd.it/1nshi4f
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1nshi4f
@asexualityonreddit