Average ace at a party (was I supposed to pick up any social cues ?)

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@asexualityonreddit

garlic bread
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Why are there so many?
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hello friends

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@asexualityonreddit

Just had the most affirming and wonderful Healthcare experience

I've been having a lot of issues with both my period and GI issues,and hips, and everything, I'm falling apart essentially, so my doc ordered ultrasounds and xrays be done.

I'm sitting here in the clinic waiting on xrays after having the most wonderful echo experience in my life. I'm used to getting on that table and being a slab of meat they prod aggressively while I try not to pee. But she was gentle and reassuring, and explained everything she was doing and talked every step through. And then came time for the dumb wand. But she asked a question I was never asked before. Usually techs just shove that bad boy in there without talking. But she asked, are you sexually active and is it with men. And I said, no, I'm asexual. And she said, then I don't think I want to put you through this discomfort.

I can't get over it. One simple tweak to the sexually active question and she was like "this will be uncomfortable for you, let's not and see if we can get what we need without it". And she did!

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@asexualityonreddit

Husband of 15 years realized he is asexual - how do we proceed?

My husband and I have been together since college - for about 15 years now and have a 2yo child. He recently came to the realization that he is asexual and does not want to engage in virtually any kind of physical relationship/intimacy moving forward. We care about each other a lot but have certainly fell out of love over the years and have had a lot bumps in our relationship. We are discussing options for moving forward, which include divorce, living together but being separated, or staying together but trying an open relationship of some sort. No matter what, we envision remaining a major part of each others’ lives and hope to remain very close friends.

We are both very dedicated parents and can’t imagine splitting time with our child and worry about the impact it would have on him. At the same time, I feel like I’m sacrificing my happiness and having the opportunity to find a new partner if I stay (but also know there’s no guarantee I’ll even find someone/can’t even wrap my head around dating again…). I’m just torn in two.

Does anyone have any advice? Really struggling here and can’t figure out what the right thing to do is.

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@asexualityonreddit

"The house smelled like pancakes. Why would a vampire's house smell like pancakes?"
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What's the strangest way you realized you were asexual?

Title basically. Curious to hear everyone's stories

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Got outed to my mom as an aroace-spec lesbian last night
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@asexualityonreddit

What's better than garlic bread? 😁
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Are there any aces who write/read smut?

Honestly, I’m just curious. How many of you guys read/write smut? What are your thoughts on it?

https://redd.it/1ni6yer
@asexualityonreddit

Sexualized deodorant is weird

Today I noticed something on my mom's deodorant canister. The scent of this deodorant was "Sexy Intrigue." Or at least, I assume that was the scent. It just said "sexy intrigue" in a noticeable spot near the middle of the can. It was regular spray deodorant made by Dove. I don't understand. What is sexual about deodorant?

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My distaste for ads was increased
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Thought this would be appreciated here
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To celebrate asexuals everywhere I ate a whole loaf of garlic bread

Yo

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@asexualityonreddit

can I identify as asexual if I experience sexual attraction?

I'm assuming not, because most everything I've read has said that asexual rule #1 is no sexual attraction, I'm mainly asking here to see if anyone can relate or if there is a label for what I'm experiencing.

I feel sexual attraction, 99% sure about that, get aroused, masturbate, have kinks and fantasies etc. the idea of actually having sex can range from want to to repulsed by the idea to wanting to do it as a form of self harm. I've never actually had sex or done anything physically sexual with another person though.

the idea of another person finding me sexually attractive/wanting to have sex with me can range from "that's okay" to having panic attacks thinking about the possibility. I've also occasionally thought that I would want my partner to find me sexually attractive, but that's rare.

the one thing that has never changed is the thought that I would be perfectly happy going my entire life as a virgin, whether or not in that moment I like the idea of sex.

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@asexualityonreddit

Ace Book recommends?

Does anyone have any good asexual book recommendations? I’ve been wanting to buy some but don’t know which ones are worth the read or have actual good representation. (I didn’t know what flair to put so I just put represent lol) :]🖤🩶🤍💜

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@asexualityonreddit

I feel so free

Ever since I found out I was asexual a month or so ago I’ve felt so free not only that a few weeks after I then became aromatic too. I’ve just never felt so free like I don’t have to worry about any norms or standards.

https://redd.it/1nii4yl
@asexualityonreddit

non ace people calling characters ace

would love to know if this is just me, but does anyone else get really suspicious when non ace people headcanon a character as ace or aroace? it almost never feels in good faith and it always tends to be towards characters that are perceived as ‘cold’ or ‘emotionless’

i would appreciate the spreading of awareness of asexuality, if it actually felt like they were educated on it but most of the time they aren’t. it just feels like they see an ‘unemotional’ character who isn’t as focused on romance/sex as others and immediately go ‘asexual’, without even realising that it’s a spectrum and plenty of ace people are sexually active or are in relationships. i feel like most of the time it’s just harmful stereotypes being reinforced but they want to seem inclusive, or they use our labels to stave off a ship they don’t like but want to seem like they have a ‘smart’ reason. it just feels like everyone who can’t relate just really misunderstands asexuality.

it also feels problematic to assert that any character not focused on being in a relationship/sleeping with people must not feel attraction, instead of just making the choice to not do that, inadvertently reinforcing the idea that sex/romance is integral and you have to want it if you feel attraction. especially feels problematic towards female characters.

for example: if an ace person headcanons wednesday addams as being ace, im like yeah that makes sense! i personally see her as demi, but any hc from an ace person is so valid to me. but if an allo person does it, it feels like it’s never in good faith and it’s because she’s perceived as having no emotion or not showing affection, even though that’s not true.

an ace headcanon i universally love is vigilante because he’s clearly asexual but still sex positive and extremely expressive, so it doesn’t feel like they saw a deadpan character and went ‘oh they must be ace or aroace’

idk this is just a pet peeve of mine and i wanted to know if it was just me lol

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@asexualityonreddit

Guys I need an ace friend group
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