Y’all, this means aroace ppl are fashionable :D
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@asexualityonreddit

Is there any other ways to show vulnerability towards someone without it being sexual? If so, could you give me any examples?



The reason why i am asking this is bc of how ppl percieve vulnerability in a relationship or in sexual attraction.


I always Heard that sexual attraction and sex itself is a way to show vulnerability towards someone by letting your guard down or show your weakness.

Or that its the only way to be Closer to someone.


But what if you dont want that kind of vulnerability?
Not like an ‘’ oh i am scared of this vulnerability and weakness. Im not showing it ‘’ more of a ‘’ i just dont feel this vulnerability. I don’t feel any kind of weakness in it and i don’t need it ‘’

Kind of way.


And i just never understood it.
I used to think there are many ways to show vulnerability. By emotions, by Joy and Even by expressing it but now i don’t know.
Idk if its bc my enviorment is oversexualized or if its just me.

But it always feels like ppl keep telling you that you should be vulnerable towards someone that way or else you don’t love them enough. Or that its the only way to show this love and if you dont have that kind of vulnerability then you are selfish and never loved them.


I dont think this kind of vulnerability is bad. Its okay for ppl to want it or Even like it. Its okay to want it too

But it just feels like ppl force you to feel that kind of vulnerability, and tells you that there are no other kinds of vulnerability then to just show your naked body and show your weakness by orgasm.

But you dont feel that kind of vulnerability or weakness towards sex/someone else.



You feel it differently but its shown as not enough or just not even vulnerable.


And anytime you hear what ppl hear you just dont know how you should be feeling towards someone. How you should feel vulnerable towards someone. Or how you love.

Now you think there is just only one way of vulnerability and nothing else.
Even though you wish there were, everyone tells you otherwise to the point that you give up.




Its tiring. Idk if there are Even non-sexual kinds of vulnerability. I Hope so.

Is there any kind of way to show vulnerability towards someone without it being sexual?

If so, is there any examples? I would like to know


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@asexualityonreddit

How do you deal with the “You’re not asexual, you just haven’t had good sx yet.” comments?

Hi, I (19F) just recently discovered that I’m on the asexual spectrum. (I’ve known something was off for years but couldn’t place my finger on it) I always try to explain it to my friends and even my parents, but they always make the excuse of “you just need to have good sx, then you’ll change your mind.” and it’s absolutely infuriating. Is there a good way to explain it to them? Should I ignore it and cope with it? I know they’re all good people and everything, but it is so frustrating for people to say that and then tell me I’m never going to love someone correctly because I wont be intimate with them. I’m currently in a very happy relationship and no one I know (besides my partner) believes that you can succeed in love without sxual intimacy. Either that or the classic “absolutely nothing is better than sx so you’re just lying to yourself.” Everyone I’ve told about my asexuality brings it up a lot now, and I can’t seem to live without these comments tearing me down.

https://redd.it/1mk02wk
@asexualityonreddit

Thank you fellow Asexuals and of the like.

When I first discovered this sexuality subreddit I didn’t know I’d I’d be accepted and especially due to the kind of lesbian I am.

But thank you so much for being so nice and kind.

It isn’t easy and I do my best with what I can.

But I am so appreciative of you guys. 🥹

https://redd.it/1mk84g0
@asexualityonreddit

there are plenty of men that do not want an underdressed conventionally attractive woman
https://redd.it/1mk8j3v
@asexualityonreddit

PDAs 🤮
https://redd.it/1mk6zzp
@asexualityonreddit

I thought we were friends...

My male "friend" asked me if I had a boyfriend and I was like, "Didn't I tell you that I'm not attracted to people...?" and he said "What about me?" "I'm not attracted to people.". He then says "Damn, thats harsh"...and then has the audacity to tell me I'm "Very Pretty". WTH, I thought we were friends.

Context: I came out to him as asexual a month ago. I am AFAB/Genderfluid.

Update: I blocked his number.

https://redd.it/1mk9wuc
@asexualityonreddit

Hospital asked me my sexuality

I said "asexual."

The person taking my information (I think some sort of social worker?) said "I don't know what that is so I'm just going to write straight."

I just wanted to leave by that point so I didn't argue but it was an interesting experience.

https://redd.it/1mk7lev
@asexualityonreddit

Dating an Asexual partner

Ive been with my partner f65 for about 2+ years. I'm m70 and a widow. At first we were platonic friends looking for company. Not exclusive. I was dating other women and looking for a possible partner to share my final life with. Not a marriage partner. As time went by my partner began having "feelings for me". One day she asked for exclusivity in our relationship. I agreed. Early on in our relationship she said she was Asexual. While I knew the term, I did not have much knowledge on the subject. We have had sex off an on through the relationship.

Sex we have, is not the affectionate sex I was use to from my wife. So this was new territory. Through the relationship I always thought by showing love and care she would begin to "come around". That was further from the truth. As I pushed further, she pushed back. Things like hand holding, embracing each other and conversations about love sent her hiding for cover. This caused me some angry thoughts and made me upset with thoughts of breaking away. I am still hanging in there but questioning why she wants a partner.

Recently our conversation have been about her attachment issues and whether she will ever meet me in the middle. Deep down I do love her and she does acknowledge her love for me but whether that will be enough time will tell. The best thing I can say about our relationship is it feels like I've done a jig saw puzzle only to find a piece missing.

Thanks for letting me speak. BTW it's a very complex subject.

https://redd.it/1mkh52w
@asexualityonreddit

Falling for my asexual friend

i have this friend who of a few months who is someone i love talking to and feel so safe, heard , and seen by. i have begun developing a crush on her, and i know she is is asexual and i am too but i am homo romantic and i am not entirely sure if she’s open to anything in the realm but i don’t wanna scare her off bc i would hate more than anything to risk losing her entirely than acting on my crush .. the emotional closeness we have is more important to me than any physical affection which i want but its not at the forefront of a relationship for me .. i don’t know im just having a hard time bc i like her so so much and i guess i just am looking for advice with how to approach the situation in a way that can protect my heart while not losing our friendship.

https://redd.it/1mkh4es
@asexualityonreddit

I got nothing
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@asexualityonreddit

Does anyone feel attraction but not get turned on by anything?

I used to call myself asexual but I definitely feel attraction. The only issue is that I feel no arousal response when around someone attractive.

Does anyone else experience anything like this?

https://redd.it/1mkn4sf
@asexualityonreddit

Can someone please explain to me why whenever I try to explain to other people that I am specifically demisexual, they almost always immediately say "oh so you're normal then?"

No. If demisexuality was "normal", I don't think hookup culture would be as commonplace as it is.

Honestly why I started trying to just say "asexual". It covers all the bases and I don't have to explain myself any or much further than that.


But has any other demis had this happen to them?

https://redd.it/1mkf7wh
@asexualityonreddit

Bubble you can't say that
https://redd.it/1mkoxk3
@asexualityonreddit

Allô
https://redd.it/1mkpo3p
@asexualityonreddit

Looking for Lavender Marriage in Canada

Hi, I’m a male in my late twenties who currently live in Canada, I like guys, my parents are VERY traditional and homophobic, so I want to find a female asexual person, to get married. If you also have pressure from family and their neighborhoods, please text me and we can have a marriage.

https://redd.it/1mkpozl
@asexualityonreddit

My Asexuality or rather Nonsexual isn’t the only reason I’ve been rejected.

I’m hoping this helps people. (The NSFW tag isn’t working. Somebody contact the mods about it then remove this parentheses part.)


I’ve also been rejected for my acne.

I’m turning 33 in September, 2025 and I still get acne. But these days it is on my chest, back and maybe where the ear piece of my glasses sit in the bit if skin in between my eye and ear.

So clearly my gripe on acne anymore is the location of acne.

I quit mascara at 30. I still own concealer for the parts of my face nobody can see.

Also…

Faces aren’t symmetrical; but and they do go to the right a bit. Like duh that’s what that part of it all is. But my facial structure goes to the left. That is a REJECTED moment too all the time.

I guess I’m just one of those unlucky with my face and body as I also have mild autism; the Forrest Gump autism. Where certain life things I can’t do the doing part of no matter how much I try and want to and know how to.

Yeah I guess if I ever do find my cis masculine butch asexual lesbian woman it will be interdependent and on the outside look like a parent child dynamic although not a parent child dynamic.


But I digress.

I don’t care what my face looks like anymore as long as I’m more clear skinned than not and I have my short short buzzy hair cut.

I guess some of us will just always have acne in some way till death from puberty.

Remember just because is and are as is and are doesn’t mean choosing.

In other words; give people a chance. Who knows maybe they are great just don’t look and sound like it. Of course until you’ve known them for ages.


I get sensitivity issues as to why I skip out on the sex part of being with another. I also just don’t want to. I learned about periods and the safety aspects of that stuff and sex when I was a kid and called it a day.

I will kiss as long as not touching my face. I will hug long as from behind and not any of the ones where your face is smooched in. I will cuddle long ass not the spooning way.

But to reject others for the most mundane things is baffling.








https://redd.it/1mku3s4
@asexualityonreddit

Coming Out & Cutting Off

So, I've recently came out to three friends after somewhat recently discovering I was ace, didn't really specify any labels or whatever, I just told them I was asexual.


It went well! One was curious and asked me how all the different attractions worked, and the other two were indifferent and just chill about it. The first one did say "maybe it's too soon to say that you're aromantic and asexual", I then affirmed him that it's not, and he understood (he means well, he's just always curious and questions literally everything).

A while ago I made a post in the aromantic subreddit about a different friend of mine, who's very unapproving of me being aromantic, long story short: He wants to fix me, randomly asks if I've "fixed my problem yet", have had multiple arguments about it, and one where he snapped, yelled out that "IT'S AN ISSUE!" and said I need a miracle from God to fix me.

In one of the arguments, I suggested I might be asexual as well (this was before I knew), and he said, "Oh nah, if you're asexual I'm cutting you off." Or something along those lines.

Funnily enough, few months later I realize I'm asexual and I highkey find it funny. Besides his clear disapproval and ignorance, he's overall a weird and childish dude anyway, basically an immature male pass-a-round.

So yeah, oddball is gonna get cut off.

Peace over anything.

https://redd.it/1mku9t4
@asexualityonreddit

Friends telling me I can't think I'm asexual because of a single kiss

But like, it wasn't that. It was every other aspect of my life, the fact I didn't enjoy the kiss at all felt like the last puzzle piece I needed. And now I'm doubting myself because everyone are saying 16 is way to young to label myself, and that choosing this label means I'm not gonna let myself ever try anything even if I'm not actually asexual. Plus no one seems to be able to actually explain what sexual attraction is, which is just confusing. What do I do

https://redd.it/1mkw34x
@asexualityonreddit

Is physical arousal + different types of attraction = sexual attraction? ( im sorry )



……



Im sorry for the execive asking i am just confused and i am genuinely curious.


Idk if i asked this before. I forgot. Pls tell me if i did or not so i would know.



Soooooooo yeah, ppl in my enviorment says its sexual attraction is you have any physical arousal while being attracted to someone ( non-sexually )

And others says its not.



Idk, maybe it depends for some ppl.


Sooo yeah, i dont wanna make a long post sooo like i said on the title. Does physical arousal + different types of attraction = sexual?


I would like to know

https://redd.it/1mkzpk7
@asexualityonreddit