Trying to understand myself
Trying to understand myself I am a 38 year old woman. I have had sex with a few non-serious men, but I did not like it at all. In fact, the smell of bodily fluids and the feel of someone entering my body was … well… icky. Just hearing people talk about sex or make sexual jokes or references makes me uncomfortable and embarrassed. Sure, I have had dreams about having physical non-intercourse intimacy that have woken me up feeling breathless and tingly down there which I enjoyed. And reading a book with a good but non-specific scene between two people in love can sometimes make me feel tingly down there. However, as I said, any blatently obvious or even subtle references to actual sex or sexual acts makes me very uncomfortable. I don’t have any particular attraction toward any specific gender, but occasionally I feel a plutonic attraction toward someone I meet (man or woman). I have never had a serious relationship with anyone that lasted more than a week or so and I have not had any kind of relationship other than just friends since around 2014. And definitely no sex since then either. But, I do not want to be alone forever. I want to find a life partner. But I don’t even know what I am. Am I asexual or something else? And how can I find others like myself who I can get to know and even platonically date?
https://redd.it/1lqgbdw
@asexualityonreddit
Trying to understand myself I am a 38 year old woman. I have had sex with a few non-serious men, but I did not like it at all. In fact, the smell of bodily fluids and the feel of someone entering my body was … well… icky. Just hearing people talk about sex or make sexual jokes or references makes me uncomfortable and embarrassed. Sure, I have had dreams about having physical non-intercourse intimacy that have woken me up feeling breathless and tingly down there which I enjoyed. And reading a book with a good but non-specific scene between two people in love can sometimes make me feel tingly down there. However, as I said, any blatently obvious or even subtle references to actual sex or sexual acts makes me very uncomfortable. I don’t have any particular attraction toward any specific gender, but occasionally I feel a plutonic attraction toward someone I meet (man or woman). I have never had a serious relationship with anyone that lasted more than a week or so and I have not had any kind of relationship other than just friends since around 2014. And definitely no sex since then either. But, I do not want to be alone forever. I want to find a life partner. But I don’t even know what I am. Am I asexual or something else? And how can I find others like myself who I can get to know and even platonically date?
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Worst part about being ace
You know the worst part about being ace, there are so many people, aces included who are sex neutral/favorable, included me. So everyone tells you that when you find the right guy, it's okay to have sex with him once in a while just to make him happy. But if that's the case, why can't we just sleep with everyone and anyone to make everyone happy? Let's just do charity. I guess that's why so many aces act hypersexual. Then, people will say no, choose someone based off of romantic attraction and sleep only with them. But why? If you don't really really crave that action/activity then why should you do it? Doesn't make sense. This is just a vent. Dear mods, please take this down if you want. You guys anyways delete a lot of my posts. I will delete this myself later, once my anger subsides.
https://redd.it/1lqedsk
@asexualityonreddit
You know the worst part about being ace, there are so many people, aces included who are sex neutral/favorable, included me. So everyone tells you that when you find the right guy, it's okay to have sex with him once in a while just to make him happy. But if that's the case, why can't we just sleep with everyone and anyone to make everyone happy? Let's just do charity. I guess that's why so many aces act hypersexual. Then, people will say no, choose someone based off of romantic attraction and sleep only with them. But why? If you don't really really crave that action/activity then why should you do it? Doesn't make sense. This is just a vent. Dear mods, please take this down if you want. You guys anyways delete a lot of my posts. I will delete this myself later, once my anger subsides.
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I'm feeling ashamed of my sexuality right now.
As an aegosexual, I am sex repulsed, but I can feel sexual attraction. I am conflicted by this. I am also ashamed of the fact that I actually like to fantasize about sex. I hate sex, but just the real one. I quite like the imaginary one and that feels shameful to a sex repulsed person like me.
I don't know, I'm just really confused and ashamed right now.
https://redd.it/1lqh70d
@asexualityonreddit
As an aegosexual, I am sex repulsed, but I can feel sexual attraction. I am conflicted by this. I am also ashamed of the fact that I actually like to fantasize about sex. I hate sex, but just the real one. I quite like the imaginary one and that feels shameful to a sex repulsed person like me.
I don't know, I'm just really confused and ashamed right now.
https://redd.it/1lqh70d
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I was straight all along but I was too dumb to realise it.
Im making this post because i don't want other people making the same mistakes as me and going through the frustration that i went through.
Basically my thing was that I never liked sex, never wanted to have it, sure fantasizing was cool but actually just imagining myself doing it for real was just disgusting.
I never had a lack of sexual attraction.
Eventually I found out about asexuality and labeled myself as one even if now when looking back i clearly wasn't one.
I thought that not liking sex meant that I'm not actually sexually attracted to people and that i idk just like how they look or something.
But that wasn't the case.
This led me to go through every single identity in existence ti try to find one that fits, but there wasn't one under the asexual spectrum, because i wasn't asexual.
I was a straight guy in denial.
So yeah if you don't like sex but do find people sexually attractive then you are most likely straight. This isn't a scientific discovery of fhe century but it helped me so it may help someone else, and i hope it does.
Good bless you and yeah, bye.
https://redd.it/1lqperk
@asexualityonreddit
Im making this post because i don't want other people making the same mistakes as me and going through the frustration that i went through.
Basically my thing was that I never liked sex, never wanted to have it, sure fantasizing was cool but actually just imagining myself doing it for real was just disgusting.
I never had a lack of sexual attraction.
Eventually I found out about asexuality and labeled myself as one even if now when looking back i clearly wasn't one.
I thought that not liking sex meant that I'm not actually sexually attracted to people and that i idk just like how they look or something.
But that wasn't the case.
This led me to go through every single identity in existence ti try to find one that fits, but there wasn't one under the asexual spectrum, because i wasn't asexual.
I was a straight guy in denial.
So yeah if you don't like sex but do find people sexually attractive then you are most likely straight. This isn't a scientific discovery of fhe century but it helped me so it may help someone else, and i hope it does.
Good bless you and yeah, bye.
https://redd.it/1lqperk
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What is " dating "?
Guys , can someone explain to me what does " date "mean , please? Im not sure i understood it right , is it people meet in restaurants and then they do s3x, or chatting with touching or it's different?!
https://redd.it/1lqnmuc
@asexualityonreddit
Guys , can someone explain to me what does " date "mean , please? Im not sure i understood it right , is it people meet in restaurants and then they do s3x, or chatting with touching or it's different?!
https://redd.it/1lqnmuc
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I’m honestly glad to be asexual for the sex part of me.
Like driving; one of the many things I can't do despite knowing how due to the version of mild autism that I have...
While I know sex inside and out; I just don't care for it.
I am a Cis Butch Lesbian by definition and technically speaking. But I'm also asexual. I just don't want to have it.
My acne is trying to reserface because last night I got a hair trim and the razor for over by my ear; I now have zits where the ear piece of my glasses sits where eye liner wings would be if you wore it. So touching is a no. But I never cared for sex to begin with. But I'm not worried. It will go away and I'll be fine. It always happens once in July then gone till next July. I have the Grunge woman pixie cut of the 1990's using The Cranberries and Garbage Band as your example so it won't come back till next July then poof.
But with that; while I will kiss; I'm not in favor of my face being touched while it happens.
I also will cuddle. But only the cuddle where I'm on my back and the other leans on me however that be as other cuddles I will burn up. For the life of me I can only sleep on my back.
I love being Asexual as well as all else me.
Do you love being Asexual as well as all else you?
https://redd.it/1lqt6zf
@asexualityonreddit
Like driving; one of the many things I can't do despite knowing how due to the version of mild autism that I have...
While I know sex inside and out; I just don't care for it.
I am a Cis Butch Lesbian by definition and technically speaking. But I'm also asexual. I just don't want to have it.
My acne is trying to reserface because last night I got a hair trim and the razor for over by my ear; I now have zits where the ear piece of my glasses sits where eye liner wings would be if you wore it. So touching is a no. But I never cared for sex to begin with. But I'm not worried. It will go away and I'll be fine. It always happens once in July then gone till next July. I have the Grunge woman pixie cut of the 1990's using The Cranberries and Garbage Band as your example so it won't come back till next July then poof.
But with that; while I will kiss; I'm not in favor of my face being touched while it happens.
I also will cuddle. But only the cuddle where I'm on my back and the other leans on me however that be as other cuddles I will burn up. For the life of me I can only sleep on my back.
I love being Asexual as well as all else me.
Do you love being Asexual as well as all else you?
https://redd.it/1lqt6zf
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
[deleted by user] : r/Asexual
99K subscribers in the Asexual community. r/Asexual is dedicated to bringing asexual awareness to any and all who come here. Asexuality is an orientation defined by little to no sexual attraction to anyone. Our goal here is to provide a welcoming home for…
confused if i’m ace
CW for sexual talk
I used to be sex repulsed, I won't get into the whole story because it's not necessary but basically I'm not as much any more. Like 6 months ago I started mastrubating to the thought of sex but as characters. Not me. Like I was a seperate person and the person I was having sex with doesn't exist. I had never done this in my whole life in fact it previously would have repulsed me. Is this an ace thing? I used to cry about being ace because I wanted to be normal so bad, I started trying to mastrubate to normal stuff to un-ace myself. I'm okay with being ace now obviously but now I still do the previously mentioned thing. Is it ace to only imagine sex within like characters?
https://redd.it/1lqw564
@asexualityonreddit
CW for sexual talk
I used to be sex repulsed, I won't get into the whole story because it's not necessary but basically I'm not as much any more. Like 6 months ago I started mastrubating to the thought of sex but as characters. Not me. Like I was a seperate person and the person I was having sex with doesn't exist. I had never done this in my whole life in fact it previously would have repulsed me. Is this an ace thing? I used to cry about being ace because I wanted to be normal so bad, I started trying to mastrubate to normal stuff to un-ace myself. I'm okay with being ace now obviously but now I still do the previously mentioned thing. Is it ace to only imagine sex within like characters?
https://redd.it/1lqw564
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
[deleted by user] : r/Asexual
99K subscribers in the Asexual community. r/Asexual is dedicated to bringing asexual awareness to any and all who come here. Asexuality is an orientation defined by little to no sexual attraction to anyone. Our goal here is to provide a welcoming home for…
"Ace" friend makes me uncomfortable
I have a friend (23F) who I have been friends with for almost a year now. She told me at the beginning of out friendship that she is Ace. I had never met anyone Ace before so I was confused why she would have like tindr hook ups and things of that nature if she was Ace. (i knew she was having sex bc i purchased her a pregnancy test at one point). she informed me that Ace people can have sex and still be ace.
She said it was the way she thinks about sex that makes her asexual. That she doesn't like sex and she thinks its gross.
I immediately related to her- sex is a complete sensory overload for me. I hate my skin feeling wet and i think all genitals are really hard to look at- even harder to touch. I actually don't like kissing either- especially with tongue. To the point I don't make out with / kiss people anymore and I have been celibate for 6 months. So i felt safe to fully be myself around her without the fear of being sexualized.
More to the point- when we would get drunk together she would start making advances at me. To the point where I became uncomfortable. coming super close to my face and saying things like "don't you just wanna kiss me?" "just a little peck" and she would twerk on me and also like bounce her b00bs in the middle of our conversations and wait for me to react. But when I would back up or tell her like hey youre making me feel weird like you're trying to do something with me- she would always say "well im asexual and you're the one sexualizing me."
Am I over sexualizing her and her actions/ words?
https://redd.it/1lr0r6c
@asexualityonreddit
I have a friend (23F) who I have been friends with for almost a year now. She told me at the beginning of out friendship that she is Ace. I had never met anyone Ace before so I was confused why she would have like tindr hook ups and things of that nature if she was Ace. (i knew she was having sex bc i purchased her a pregnancy test at one point). she informed me that Ace people can have sex and still be ace.
She said it was the way she thinks about sex that makes her asexual. That she doesn't like sex and she thinks its gross.
I immediately related to her- sex is a complete sensory overload for me. I hate my skin feeling wet and i think all genitals are really hard to look at- even harder to touch. I actually don't like kissing either- especially with tongue. To the point I don't make out with / kiss people anymore and I have been celibate for 6 months. So i felt safe to fully be myself around her without the fear of being sexualized.
More to the point- when we would get drunk together she would start making advances at me. To the point where I became uncomfortable. coming super close to my face and saying things like "don't you just wanna kiss me?" "just a little peck" and she would twerk on me and also like bounce her b00bs in the middle of our conversations and wait for me to react. But when I would back up or tell her like hey youre making me feel weird like you're trying to do something with me- she would always say "well im asexual and you're the one sexualizing me."
Am I over sexualizing her and her actions/ words?
https://redd.it/1lr0r6c
@asexualityonreddit
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Are Ya'll really having fictional crushes?
Maybe this subreddit isn't the best place to ask this but do people genuinely have crushes on celebrities or fictional characters. I'm Ace and Bi but have also considered if I fall on the aro spectrum a little bit. Like I do like people romantically often and do want romantic relationships. But like the idea of just seeing someone and having romantic feelings for them doesn't make any sense to me. Like I understand finding someone you first see pretty and maybe developing feelings after maybe like 2 weeks of knowing them but like right away?? I can't tell if these people are joking 😮💨.
https://redd.it/1lr3n8m
@asexualityonreddit
Maybe this subreddit isn't the best place to ask this but do people genuinely have crushes on celebrities or fictional characters. I'm Ace and Bi but have also considered if I fall on the aro spectrum a little bit. Like I do like people romantically often and do want romantic relationships. But like the idea of just seeing someone and having romantic feelings for them doesn't make any sense to me. Like I understand finding someone you first see pretty and maybe developing feelings after maybe like 2 weeks of knowing them but like right away?? I can't tell if these people are joking 😮💨.
https://redd.it/1lr3n8m
@asexualityonreddit
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How can people have sex??
How can people have sex without getting embarrassed? Honestly I don't get it. I feel like it'd be really awkward
https://redd.it/1lr3o58
@asexualityonreddit
How can people have sex without getting embarrassed? Honestly I don't get it. I feel like it'd be really awkward
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Is anyone else "gender-apathetic"?
So, I'm cisgender, and identify as male, but I don't really care. As far as I'm concerned, the only way I really care about my gender is in what bathroom I use, and going to a couple of men-only AA meetings. In how I would describe myself, male is way down the list. I don't know if this is an asexual thing, or an autism thing, or just a me thing, or something else.
https://redd.it/1lr4akc
@asexualityonreddit
So, I'm cisgender, and identify as male, but I don't really care. As far as I'm concerned, the only way I really care about my gender is in what bathroom I use, and going to a couple of men-only AA meetings. In how I would describe myself, male is way down the list. I don't know if this is an asexual thing, or an autism thing, or just a me thing, or something else.
https://redd.it/1lr4akc
@asexualityonreddit
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am i asexual?..
hello everyone! i need an advice. i’ve never been romantically or sexually attracted to anyone. moreover, i’m repulsed by physical touch by real people. but, i’m in love with a fictional character and i want him both sexually and romantically. yet i can’t imagine being like this with real people…is there a name for this? am i asexual? thank you! 🩵
https://redd.it/1lr9jcx
@asexualityonreddit
hello everyone! i need an advice. i’ve never been romantically or sexually attracted to anyone. moreover, i’m repulsed by physical touch by real people. but, i’m in love with a fictional character and i want him both sexually and romantically. yet i can’t imagine being like this with real people…is there a name for this? am i asexual? thank you! 🩵
https://redd.it/1lr9jcx
@asexualityonreddit
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Possibly Asexual maybe
I have no interest in sex, find it gross, find sleeping with someone or taking a shower with someone gross, find cum and the act of it gross, anything to do related to sex gross except kissing and maybe cuddling only. Kissing I guess okay but don't really like making out either it does not interest me at all!
https://redd.it/1lr9pqg
@asexualityonreddit
I have no interest in sex, find it gross, find sleeping with someone or taking a shower with someone gross, find cum and the act of it gross, anything to do related to sex gross except kissing and maybe cuddling only. Kissing I guess okay but don't really like making out either it does not interest me at all!
https://redd.it/1lr9pqg
@asexualityonreddit
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