Is it normal that I feel disgusted by kissing?
I don't really know what my problem is, but I have no desire to kiss at all.
I'm a virgin, but I've kissed a couple of girls before, but nothing more than that.
I think it's disgusting when you put your tongue in someone else's mouth, exchanging a lot of saliva. Just thinking about it makes me uncomfortable.
I also feel disgusted by sexual organs for some reason? Like, I hate seeing any image of a dick or a vagina. I think breasts are pretty, but if I see a pussy I look away, either out of embarrassment or discomfort. The same goes for dicks.
I'm a virgin, but I have no desire to stop being one. For me, sex seems to be a very overrated thing, a quick way to get a dopamine hit that also carries the risk of ruining your life if you contract an STD or get pregnant.
https://redd.it/1f441zl
@asexualityonreddit
I don't really know what my problem is, but I have no desire to kiss at all.
I'm a virgin, but I've kissed a couple of girls before, but nothing more than that.
I think it's disgusting when you put your tongue in someone else's mouth, exchanging a lot of saliva. Just thinking about it makes me uncomfortable.
I also feel disgusted by sexual organs for some reason? Like, I hate seeing any image of a dick or a vagina. I think breasts are pretty, but if I see a pussy I look away, either out of embarrassment or discomfort. The same goes for dicks.
I'm a virgin, but I have no desire to stop being one. For me, sex seems to be a very overrated thing, a quick way to get a dopamine hit that also carries the risk of ruining your life if you contract an STD or get pregnant.
https://redd.it/1f441zl
@asexualityonreddit
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Does being Asexual make me a Queer Person? 🌈🌈🌈
I know that being Asexual doesn't necessarily mean I'm gay, but does being Asexual make me apart of the gay community?
https://redd.it/1f482pp
@asexualityonreddit
I know that being Asexual doesn't necessarily mean I'm gay, but does being Asexual make me apart of the gay community?
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Dear reader.
Hiiii, i hope you’re doing good, have a nice day because i’m sure that you’re pretty cool, or at least you are to me hehe 🦈🩷
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@asexualityonreddit
Hiiii, i hope you’re doing good, have a nice day because i’m sure that you’re pretty cool, or at least you are to me hehe 🦈🩷
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I finally know why I hate saxophone so much!
Oh my god, guys. I need to share this with someone and this is the best place to do it.
I’m a music fan with very eclectic tastes, I love pretty much everything. But I never liked any song with saxophone. It makes me feel uncomfortable. And today, listening to a lofi soundtrack with saxophone in it, it just clicked.
Saxophone is very present in movies during spicy scenes. So I guess I associated the instrument to sexy stuff.
I work in the film industry and it has been a passion since a young age to analyse every shot, the editing, sound effects, etc. So unconsciously, I think I developed a reflex to prepare myself to see and experience something uncomfortable when I hear saxophone.
Discovering my asexuality took some time and it’s always when I have those lightbulb moments that I tell myself : « It was so obvious, why didn’t I see it waaaayyyy earlier? »
Ok, that’s all, thank you for being here to share these kind of stuff !
https://redd.it/1f4aqq2
@asexualityonreddit
Oh my god, guys. I need to share this with someone and this is the best place to do it.
I’m a music fan with very eclectic tastes, I love pretty much everything. But I never liked any song with saxophone. It makes me feel uncomfortable. And today, listening to a lofi soundtrack with saxophone in it, it just clicked.
Saxophone is very present in movies during spicy scenes. So I guess I associated the instrument to sexy stuff.
I work in the film industry and it has been a passion since a young age to analyse every shot, the editing, sound effects, etc. So unconsciously, I think I developed a reflex to prepare myself to see and experience something uncomfortable when I hear saxophone.
Discovering my asexuality took some time and it’s always when I have those lightbulb moments that I tell myself : « It was so obvious, why didn’t I see it waaaayyyy earlier? »
Ok, that’s all, thank you for being here to share these kind of stuff !
https://redd.it/1f4aqq2
@asexualityonreddit
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Suddenly I'm a dad
Now this is the story all about how, \
My life got flipped-turned upside down, \
And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, \
I'll tell you how I just became the Dad of two girls…
Well, “girls” isn't actually correct. They are young women. But more on that later.
I’m a cis guy in his late 40s and for most of my life I struggled with relationships and my sexuality. I always seemed to be somewhat different, but I never knew how and why. I didn't have the words for it. A few years ago I finally began to understand. I know now and now I have the right words for it. I'm asexual.
This discovery always felt very freeing and relieving for me. It's great to finally have a better understanding of what and who I am. To understand the world a bit better and the people around me. It's great and I wouldn't want to change anything about it. Except for one thing.
For my whole life I was single. I had deep and strong friendships with all genders, I loved and was loved, I had other kinds of relationships but there was never a long-term sexual relationship. Don't get me wrong, there was a lot of experimenting in this regard. But none of it lead to a relationship. This doesn't bother me. I'm happy without it.
But this and some other hurdles in life meant I also never had children. And that's a bit sad. When I was younger, whenever I imagined my future life, there always were children. There was never a doubt I would have at least one daughter. But reality had other plans and that's ok. Over the last few years I have come to terms with the fact that I probably never would be a father. I accepted it and for the most part I'm ok with it.
All that changed a few months ago.
A young woman approached me about a volunteer job. She and her girlfriend were interested in volunteering at the same place I do. They both seemed nice and I said I could show them around and if they are still interested they could work some test shifts with some colleagues.
I had no idea what started there and then.
They fit right in and me and all the colleagues immediately liked them and they quickly became part of the team. We didn't know it then, but this was very special for them and meant a lot to them.
They are 19 and 20 years old, and in their young lives, they had their own lot of struggles. A lot of people seem to have done a lot of damage. Never before did they receive such an amount of respect and trust. I never asked them details about their traumas. They gave the short version that they both had bad luck with their parents.
Quickly we became friends. They knew about my asexuality early on. Just like I knew that they are lesbians. That removed a lot of tension and potential creepiness and gave room for an amazing friendship. And the age gap didn't seem to mean a thing.
But it did a little.
A while ago they said that I somehow had become a bit of a substitute dad for them. And my heart bounced a little bit. I liked that idea. I liked it very much.
We joked around with that idea for a while, but it quickly became serious. I told them that I have no idea if I could be a good Dad, but if they were willing to figure this out, I would be willing to try my very best and we could look where this would take us.
They accepted and the time since then is easily the most amazing one of my whole life.
Those girls are amazing and I love them and care for them in a way and intensity I never even thought could be possible. And I'm as proud as a Dad can be. One now tries to finish school and the other one got a small paid training job at the place where we all volunteer.
Of course it's not all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. There are ups and downs and it's an emotional rollercoaster. I knew exactly what I signed up for and I wouldn't wanna miss a second of it.
A few days ago they told me for the first time that they love me.
I now know without a trace of doubt, that I want this to be real. I'm exploring the possibility of adopting them. This will take some time. I'm not in a rush. This is a forever thing. I will ask them a
Now this is the story all about how, \
My life got flipped-turned upside down, \
And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, \
I'll tell you how I just became the Dad of two girls…
Well, “girls” isn't actually correct. They are young women. But more on that later.
I’m a cis guy in his late 40s and for most of my life I struggled with relationships and my sexuality. I always seemed to be somewhat different, but I never knew how and why. I didn't have the words for it. A few years ago I finally began to understand. I know now and now I have the right words for it. I'm asexual.
This discovery always felt very freeing and relieving for me. It's great to finally have a better understanding of what and who I am. To understand the world a bit better and the people around me. It's great and I wouldn't want to change anything about it. Except for one thing.
For my whole life I was single. I had deep and strong friendships with all genders, I loved and was loved, I had other kinds of relationships but there was never a long-term sexual relationship. Don't get me wrong, there was a lot of experimenting in this regard. But none of it lead to a relationship. This doesn't bother me. I'm happy without it.
But this and some other hurdles in life meant I also never had children. And that's a bit sad. When I was younger, whenever I imagined my future life, there always were children. There was never a doubt I would have at least one daughter. But reality had other plans and that's ok. Over the last few years I have come to terms with the fact that I probably never would be a father. I accepted it and for the most part I'm ok with it.
All that changed a few months ago.
A young woman approached me about a volunteer job. She and her girlfriend were interested in volunteering at the same place I do. They both seemed nice and I said I could show them around and if they are still interested they could work some test shifts with some colleagues.
I had no idea what started there and then.
They fit right in and me and all the colleagues immediately liked them and they quickly became part of the team. We didn't know it then, but this was very special for them and meant a lot to them.
They are 19 and 20 years old, and in their young lives, they had their own lot of struggles. A lot of people seem to have done a lot of damage. Never before did they receive such an amount of respect and trust. I never asked them details about their traumas. They gave the short version that they both had bad luck with their parents.
Quickly we became friends. They knew about my asexuality early on. Just like I knew that they are lesbians. That removed a lot of tension and potential creepiness and gave room for an amazing friendship. And the age gap didn't seem to mean a thing.
But it did a little.
A while ago they said that I somehow had become a bit of a substitute dad for them. And my heart bounced a little bit. I liked that idea. I liked it very much.
We joked around with that idea for a while, but it quickly became serious. I told them that I have no idea if I could be a good Dad, but if they were willing to figure this out, I would be willing to try my very best and we could look where this would take us.
They accepted and the time since then is easily the most amazing one of my whole life.
Those girls are amazing and I love them and care for them in a way and intensity I never even thought could be possible. And I'm as proud as a Dad can be. One now tries to finish school and the other one got a small paid training job at the place where we all volunteer.
Of course it's not all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. There are ups and downs and it's an emotional rollercoaster. I knew exactly what I signed up for and I wouldn't wanna miss a second of it.
A few days ago they told me for the first time that they love me.
I now know without a trace of doubt, that I want this to be real. I'm exploring the possibility of adopting them. This will take some time. I'm not in a rush. This is a forever thing. I will ask them a
few months from now. I already know exactly where and when.
All of you who struggle, who feel lonely or broken or lose hope. I want you to know that whatever life throws at you, you can still find all the kinds of love you are looking for. And sometimes kinds you had no idea were possible. It might take a while and the path there might be twisted and you might wanna give up. But if you don't you will eventually get there.
And it will all be worth it.
https://redd.it/1f4breh
@asexualityonreddit
All of you who struggle, who feel lonely or broken or lose hope. I want you to know that whatever life throws at you, you can still find all the kinds of love you are looking for. And sometimes kinds you had no idea were possible. It might take a while and the path there might be twisted and you might wanna give up. But if you don't you will eventually get there.
And it will all be worth it.
https://redd.it/1f4breh
@asexualityonreddit
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Asexual brothel ?!
Asexual brothel but there is no sex instead it’s just someone who makes you lots of garlic bread and is your best friend.
https://redd.it/1f44ulg
@asexualityonreddit
Asexual brothel but there is no sex instead it’s just someone who makes you lots of garlic bread and is your best friend.
https://redd.it/1f44ulg
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I can’t go on like this anymore. Please, I am desperate for any advice on how to “come out” to my bf as asexual.
I am so sick and tired of sex. I’m tired of pretending, tired of faking, tired of forcing myself to perform. I hate it. Every second I spend fucking I am in my head screaming, “MAKE IT STOP. GOD, PLEASE MAKE THIS END.” It disgusts me. Makes me sick. Tonight my bf wants to have shower sex. I feel obligated as a gf to say yes. I’ve been dreading it, perseverating on the shower since he mentioned it this morning. It makes me want to scream and cry. I can’t DO THIS ANYMORE.
I should have been upfront in the relationship about my sexuality. But I thought I could preserve—that forcing occasional sex was worth being with the person I love. Over the last 7 months, I’ve learned differently. I am suffering. I need to finally be honest. But how? How do I bring this up? What do I say? I’m panicking.
Rant over.
If you have any advice please help me. Or if you are familiar with interpersonal communication skills, please educate me. If you have words of encouragement, I would greatly appreciate that too. Thank you in advance.
P.S. Maybe you need to hear this like I do: it is okay to be asexual. You are not wrong. You do not need to shame yourself. You don’t need to fit society’s bullshit standards to be absolutely deserving of love and respect. Okay, I’ll get off my soap box now. Cheers, everyone.
https://redd.it/1f4f40g
@asexualityonreddit
I am so sick and tired of sex. I’m tired of pretending, tired of faking, tired of forcing myself to perform. I hate it. Every second I spend fucking I am in my head screaming, “MAKE IT STOP. GOD, PLEASE MAKE THIS END.” It disgusts me. Makes me sick. Tonight my bf wants to have shower sex. I feel obligated as a gf to say yes. I’ve been dreading it, perseverating on the shower since he mentioned it this morning. It makes me want to scream and cry. I can’t DO THIS ANYMORE.
I should have been upfront in the relationship about my sexuality. But I thought I could preserve—that forcing occasional sex was worth being with the person I love. Over the last 7 months, I’ve learned differently. I am suffering. I need to finally be honest. But how? How do I bring this up? What do I say? I’m panicking.
Rant over.
If you have any advice please help me. Or if you are familiar with interpersonal communication skills, please educate me. If you have words of encouragement, I would greatly appreciate that too. Thank you in advance.
P.S. Maybe you need to hear this like I do: it is okay to be asexual. You are not wrong. You do not need to shame yourself. You don’t need to fit society’s bullshit standards to be absolutely deserving of love and respect. Okay, I’ll get off my soap box now. Cheers, everyone.
https://redd.it/1f4f40g
@asexualityonreddit
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I didn't realize sex was real
bro bro literally for the longest time I actually thought people being sexually attracted to other people was some sort of an inside joke, honestly, I still kind of do
https://redd.it/1f4h05n
@asexualityonreddit
bro bro literally for the longest time I actually thought people being sexually attracted to other people was some sort of an inside joke, honestly, I still kind of do
https://redd.it/1f4h05n
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Dating someone who is not asexual
Hi everyone!
So I recently started dating someone who is not asexual. I asked him when he asked me out if he was okay with me being asexual and he said yes.
I know that sex is a big part of a relationship sometimes, and when we first talked about me being asexual he mentioned it’s not really super important for him in that way.
It almost makes me feel bad that I don’t want to have sex. I absolutely do like him and definitely want to connect in other ways, but again I feel guilty.
I feel like eventually he will wanna have sex.
(Also wanna preface I have never had sex because I’ve never had a sexual attraction to someone in any way so I’ve never wanted to try it). I feel like I would eventually give in because I want him to be pleased and not feel like that’s a missing link in our relationship.
I just feel guilty and dunno what to do :/
https://redd.it/1f4ipzp
@asexualityonreddit
Hi everyone!
So I recently started dating someone who is not asexual. I asked him when he asked me out if he was okay with me being asexual and he said yes.
I know that sex is a big part of a relationship sometimes, and when we first talked about me being asexual he mentioned it’s not really super important for him in that way.
It almost makes me feel bad that I don’t want to have sex. I absolutely do like him and definitely want to connect in other ways, but again I feel guilty.
I feel like eventually he will wanna have sex.
(Also wanna preface I have never had sex because I’ve never had a sexual attraction to someone in any way so I’ve never wanted to try it). I feel like I would eventually give in because I want him to be pleased and not feel like that’s a missing link in our relationship.
I just feel guilty and dunno what to do :/
https://redd.it/1f4ipzp
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I could use some support.
TL;DR at bottom
My story makes me feel ashamed. Rather, it causes all the shame already inside to rise to the top of my throat.
For context, I'm a 48 y/o cis woman. As a teenager and young adult, I had sex of one kind or another with anyone who was interested. I hated myself so much I would look in the mirror and spit at my reflection (this was the cause, not the result, of me engaging in sex with anybody who paid any attention to me at all). I was so desperately searching for someone to want me, someone to make me feel valued. (Spoiler alert: it never worked.) My heart is filled with compassion for the person I was then.
FF 20 ish years... I'm married to a straight, cis man, we have 3 children together.
About 10 years ago, I developed very severe PGAD. It is absolute torture, and affects my life on literally every single level - what I wear, what I watch on TV, how long I can travel by car or plane - it's devastating. Doctors don't understand it - hell, most of them have never heard of it and laugh at you when you tell them what it is. At least 8 doctors have said to me "Oh, your husband must love that!" when I tell them about my struggles. I stopped seeing doctors years ago. Medical PTSD is real.
I am sex-repulsed now. I hate even seeing people kiss on TV - I have been known to exclaim "eww" or some other remark that your typical 9 year old would do. I immediately shield my eyes - imagine someone who hates horror movies watching The Shining. (Side note: it feels good to say this in a space where I know others will nod along.)
I am definitely ace and aro, as well. On some level I feel like I used to want someone to love me romantically - but I never quite tracked the idea that all everybody wanted was a person to love them romantically - which is obviously something the entire world sees daily in popular media.
Now, I absolutely cannot fathom wanting to be with someone romantically. I have an amazing best friend - she is truly my rock. I can lay in bed with her and hold her, or let her rub my back while I cry. To me, what we have is platonic in the TRUE sense of the term - it's the ideal love.
When I posted something similar to this, (it was at least a year ago? maybe more) asking "Am I Ace...", a lot of vitriol came out about how you're not truly ace if it's "medical". That really hurt, and I haven't talked to anybody about it since.
Well ... I've also been too scared to post again on this sub, but right now, I wanted to tell my story.
(To clarify, I'm not disparaging this sub. I still read it all the time and 99% of people are very supportive, and the unsupportive folks get downvoted all to hell, which I love. I just think I may have told it wrong last time.)
TL;DR: I evolved to the understanding that I was aro/ace/sex-repulsed partly as a result of a medical issue, and was sort of flamed by gatekeepers on this sub previously. I now feel the courage to share my story again.
https://redd.it/1f4lykp
@asexualityonreddit
TL;DR at bottom
My story makes me feel ashamed. Rather, it causes all the shame already inside to rise to the top of my throat.
For context, I'm a 48 y/o cis woman. As a teenager and young adult, I had sex of one kind or another with anyone who was interested. I hated myself so much I would look in the mirror and spit at my reflection (this was the cause, not the result, of me engaging in sex with anybody who paid any attention to me at all). I was so desperately searching for someone to want me, someone to make me feel valued. (Spoiler alert: it never worked.) My heart is filled with compassion for the person I was then.
FF 20 ish years... I'm married to a straight, cis man, we have 3 children together.
About 10 years ago, I developed very severe PGAD. It is absolute torture, and affects my life on literally every single level - what I wear, what I watch on TV, how long I can travel by car or plane - it's devastating. Doctors don't understand it - hell, most of them have never heard of it and laugh at you when you tell them what it is. At least 8 doctors have said to me "Oh, your husband must love that!" when I tell them about my struggles. I stopped seeing doctors years ago. Medical PTSD is real.
I am sex-repulsed now. I hate even seeing people kiss on TV - I have been known to exclaim "eww" or some other remark that your typical 9 year old would do. I immediately shield my eyes - imagine someone who hates horror movies watching The Shining. (Side note: it feels good to say this in a space where I know others will nod along.)
I am definitely ace and aro, as well. On some level I feel like I used to want someone to love me romantically - but I never quite tracked the idea that all everybody wanted was a person to love them romantically - which is obviously something the entire world sees daily in popular media.
Now, I absolutely cannot fathom wanting to be with someone romantically. I have an amazing best friend - she is truly my rock. I can lay in bed with her and hold her, or let her rub my back while I cry. To me, what we have is platonic in the TRUE sense of the term - it's the ideal love.
When I posted something similar to this, (it was at least a year ago? maybe more) asking "Am I Ace...", a lot of vitriol came out about how you're not truly ace if it's "medical". That really hurt, and I haven't talked to anybody about it since.
Well ... I've also been too scared to post again on this sub, but right now, I wanted to tell my story.
(To clarify, I'm not disparaging this sub. I still read it all the time and 99% of people are very supportive, and the unsupportive folks get downvoted all to hell, which I love. I just think I may have told it wrong last time.)
TL;DR: I evolved to the understanding that I was aro/ace/sex-repulsed partly as a result of a medical issue, and was sort of flamed by gatekeepers on this sub previously. I now feel the courage to share my story again.
https://redd.it/1f4lykp
@asexualityonreddit
Cleveland Clinic
Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder: Causes & Treatment
Persistent genital arousal disorder is a rare condition that involves experiencing unwanted, uncontrollable sensations of arousal in your genitals.
My first ever greentext because it's the only way to describe how oblivious (respectfully) I was
https://redd.it/1f4pyn8
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1f4pyn8
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