Why is THIS the top comment and not a comment appreciating her achievements???!!!
https://redd.it/1f31b0f
@asexualityonreddit

How many attempts did you try before concluding that you were ace?

Hi, 32M, I haven't been with many people in the past, but when I was younger I believed alot of the people when they used to tell me that I just need to find the right person and that if I just keep trying, I'll "enjoy" sex one day. I have regretted many of my attempts at sex in the past, either due to the fact that it ended a good friendship, was awkward for everyone involved, my partner felt sadness over the fact they couldn't "satisfy" me (even though I did enjoy just being with them), or the fact they didn't understand why I wasn't excited to have sex with them. I tried alot of different things, trying to figure out why I wasn't enjoying sex, and after everything, found that I enjoyed kink and ropes, but more as an interest than a sexual attraction.

I occasionally still try and have sex when the person I'm with wants to, but would much prefer just to spend time with them, or practice rope and focus on them. How many times did it take everyone else before you realised that sex really wasn't for them? And have you had any negative effects from the times that you did try?

I've moved to sex repulsed due to looking back of past experiences and feeling ill with regret and stupidity



https://redd.it/1f34o2d
@asexualityonreddit

compulsory sexuality? is that a recognised thing?

so obviously when I was younger I felt the pressure of heteronormativity, and I tried to force myself to have crushes on boys and to be attracted to them sexually. I would pick someone and force myself to fantasize sexually about them, which was not pleasant. I grew out of that once I accepted being asexual

the thing is, after that, I became very active in LGBT spaces online, and obviously felt the rejection of ace/aros from people saying they aren't queer, "basically straight", etc.... I'm going to be clear that although I'm arospec I had a crush on the opposite gender when I was 11, so I definitely felt very guilty of being an "attention seeking straight". even though I consider myself aroace I started to pressure myself to find girls more attractive. I did the same thing I did when forcing myself to be heterosexual, but with girls, and whenever I found a girl pretty I would (and still) over-analyse it to see if I'm attracted to them because of how much I want to just have a normal sexuality. I felt like if I liked a girl then it would validate my own emotional struggle without it being dismissed or rejected.

honestly I've seen a lot of bi women online dismissing their boyfriends and saying they wish they weren't attracted to men, and it's always come off to me like they're trying to validate their queerness despite their attraction to men. if you've been on Instagram you'll know what I'm talking about, obviously bi people can have preferences, I'm talking more about when people say they hate who they chose to date. I've just related to that guilt a lot in my own experience of not really fitting in anywhere.

but I feel really alone in this at the same time 😭 does anyone else know what I'm on about

https://redd.it/1f3653x
@asexualityonreddit

being asexual makes me feel even more empty and lonely

I realised I was asexual recently. I did a lot of self reflection and thinking and yeah there's some pretty good chance Im on the spectrum. I have a low sex drive and basically no sexual attraction to people even tho I find some people pretty / sexy / hot. and I barely feel any romantic attraction. and it feels pointless to try to overcome this lack of attraction because Im naturally distant, closed and just not joyful and I feel so misunderstood.



Basically I just feel so empty and the fact that I dont feel anything romantically or sexually make me feel worse, I feel condemned to be lonely, and sometime I just hope this "asexuality" is a phase but when I look back when I was younger It looks very obivious that I had "asexual tendencies". And I do daydream about love, intimacy but when I wakeup and ask myself do I really want that it's just a no, it repulses me, Ive tried a lot of thing to step out that ace zone and feel something but it just last a few moments before Im like "who am I fooling, I dont enjoy or care about that".



I don't even know if these feelings are valid or if Im truly asexual, Im still confused. Im 22 and still a virgin and the fact that I'll always have this label and be judged and will never be able to find love...well it doesnt make me very hopeful about my future. When my friends ask me when I get a girl and I say idk idc they always just say "bruh ur fkn gay or what". I just dont care, it's like something is missing in me, I wasnt made with the relation and sexual need part ig. thx for reading my dumb vent.

https://redd.it/1f39wvl
@asexualityonreddit

Mirrous Attraction?

It's spelled with only one r but the stupid spellcheck won't do it. If you check back to my previous post about Miransexuality and finding that's what I am, we experience this. I also relate a ton to Pseudosexuality. It's not sexual attraction.

If someone had asked me "do you want to rail them?" I would have said no. "I just think they're hot and want a relationship with them. But not THAT way!"

Ew.

But finally figuring out that's what I experienced all this time was freeing. But I also feel so angry and stupid with myself for thinking that was sexual attraction. But it makes sense when that feeling went away and I didn't want sex with anyone. Because it was never sexual attraction in the first place.

Has anyone else dealt with this? I heard this was common in the Ace community?

Now oddly enough I don't even experience this much anymore.

Which I find hilarious. All around I feel so stupid that I didn't know what sexual attraction was for so long and thinking I did.

https://redd.it/1f3ehdi
@asexualityonreddit

guys I’m a switch but Spanish edition 😔😔😔
https://redd.it/1f3d9ua
@asexualityonreddit

Are You Aro (Advice)?

**Hi everyone!**

​

Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.

​

**Do any of these resonate with you?**

​

​

* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.

* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.

* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.

* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.

​

These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.

​

**Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?** Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!

​

[**More signs that you are Aro:**\](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro/)

​

[**Honeymoon Phase:**\](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)

​

[**Types of attraction (might be incomplete):**\](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/

https://redd.it/1f3k8tj
@asexualityonreddit

Does physical arousal equal mental/emotional?

(Cross posted from asexuality)

This is something that has bugged me for a long while, but its something I hate which is why I’m on a throwaway account.

I’m pretty confident in my asexual identity,

But I sometimes experience physical arousal whilst writing romance (purely fluff, nothing NSFW), yet I personally have no emotions or anything attached to it. It makes me feel super uncomfortable, because I don’t feel attracted to it and I don’t understand why it happens because I’m not… Aroused by it??

Its something I often overthink so I’m unsure if that plays a role in how my brain reacts,

Any advice / input would be really appreciated, as I feel a little grossed out by this

(I essentially want to know does physical arousal mean anything)

https://redd.it/1f3l3ur
@asexualityonreddit

Growing up sucked

Everyone telling you that “you’ll want to have sex one day you just ain’t ready yet” meanwhile in high school everyone else already has it on the brain 24/7 and you know if you was like the rest of the people around you that you would of already been like them by now… you know you are different but you don’t have a name for it yet and you just think there is something wrong with you but you just don’t know what and didn’t understand you too was also completely normal but society doesn’t believe anyone out there could not want sex at all 😐 you just let people tell you that “one of these days it will change” while knowing deep down it won’t and all your friends are telling you about the sexual things they’ve done meanwhile you wanna puke while hearing it 😂 I struggled a lot and now I’m glad I’m comfortable knowing who I am! I AM PROUD! 🍰

https://redd.it/1f31jlj
@asexualityonreddit

Fun fact: the first canon aroace Jedi is green & purple (Vernestra Rwoh)
https://redd.it/1f3oq46
@asexualityonreddit

Oh God, my poorly flirted with bones
https://www.reddit.com/gallery/1f3bbp6

https://redd.it/1f3ovet
@asexualityonreddit

Are there any asexual characters in media (books, movies, TV shows, etc.) as good as Todd from Bojack Horseman?
https://redd.it/1f3rht1
@asexualityonreddit

Are there any asexual characters in media (books, movies, TV shows, etc.) as good as Todd from Bojack Horseman?
https://redd.it/1f3rht1
@asexualityonreddit

I'm in my first QPR!

Never been in this kind of relationship, but have had cuddle buddies before. Also my first time dating a grey ace and knowing that I am ace. If peeps have advice that's cool, but I mostly wanted to post something positive!

https://redd.it/1f3thpd
@asexualityonreddit

My coworker is constantly bullied for being ace

She is constantly being made fun of for saying she’s ace. I’m glad that she’s very open about her sexuality, but there wasn’t one person that was nice to her about it. I’m ace too, so I butted into the conversation because they were god awful rude. I have never came out as ace to anyone before, but seeing her get made fun of made my blood BOIL. I HAD to back her up and shut them up. She’s very shy and timid, so luckily I made the comments stop because I was equally rude (not the mature option, but after weeks of this they deserve it). Sometimes it’s hard for me to understand why other sexualities don’t get the disrespect that aces do. One of the reasons why I hadn’t came out was to avoid the scrutiny and this is a prime example of how misunderstanding turns into disrespect. I understand some people may not get it or agree with asexuality, but that doesn’t equate to being outright rude.

She was pretty upset for the rest of the shift, but thanked me and now we’re friends. It’s actually pretty comforting to find another ace in person (which is rare). I’m friends with my other coworkers, but after seeing how they treat someone who isn’t the norm ruined my vision of them.

https://redd.it/1f3tp8j
@asexualityonreddit

Me when I realize I'm both Asexual, Aromantic, and Agender
https://redd.it/1f3v7de
@asexualityonreddit

Feel free to use this on your social media.
https://redd.it/1f3si6s
@asexualityonreddit

what does emotional bond mean to you?

every other month i always see ppl online arguing if demisexuality is real or not bc they always think “that’s just every person”.. i always just thought ppl think that bc they don’t know what sexual attraction really means but i recently just saw someone say demisexuality is “needing to know a person first before feeling sexually attracted”.

but to me, i feel like you can know a person
and still not have an emotional bond with them.. so it got me questioning… maybe this misunderstanding stems from not knowing what sexual attraction + emotional bond really are

https://redd.it/1f3xlit
@asexualityonreddit

i might be overreacting though
https://redd.it/1f3wpjr
@asexualityonreddit

This is my porpoise
https://redd.it/1f42rcv
@asexualityonreddit