Based Detective
https://redd.it/1f20t93
@asexualityonreddit

I am so confused- my psychiatrist thinks I’m Asexual

Hi everyone,
A few months ago my psychiatrist told me he thinks I may be asexual. I have never heard of this term
before. After doing my own research I am even more
confused. I don’t feel like I fit the mold of what he is describing to me. He told me to do some research but it’s left me with more questions. I’m early 30s F, ex adult film creator, sex has always been a huge part of my life.

My whole adult life I’ve been pretty extreme in terms of sexuality. I’ve had many partners and enjoy different extreme fetishes as well. I’ve even made it my livelihood at one point in my life, and have been interested in different genders and group play. However, I am extremely bipolar and only partake in these sexual experiences when manic or under the influence of substances. Sober, although I still experience intense sexual attraction and practice solo acts, It’s really hard for me to be intimate with others. I am far too self-conscious about my body to be touched sexually in any way in a normal state of mind- even a back massage makes me shudder. I absolutely can’t stand to be touched or seen in a compromised state and I overthink that if I’m touching someone else, I’ll disappoint them. None of this stops me from having an enormous amount of sexual attraction to others- it’s just kept inside until I’m feeling manic or have a drink.

My psychiatrist has mentioned it a few times over the last few months and says I’m sex-repulsed. I personally feel it’s more that I am just really self conscious. He’s been on my team around a year now and I usually trust his opinion but I mean I am not repulsed by sex all of the time, and truly feel like if I was better looking and more confident, I would never be sex repulsed. After doing a lot of research I’m even more confused as there are so
many asexual variations… is anyone out there going through something similar?

Thank you 🙏

https://redd.it/1f22qr0
@asexualityonreddit

My friends made me uncomfortable with what they said

They were discussing about this one woman who came out as biromantic but heterosexual. They said she was faking being queer for the fad of being queer. They said it was because she wasnt sexually attracted to women. It was a few people saying this so I didn't say anything in fear of being ganged up on. I told two of them previously that I was ace though but I still had romantic feelings for women and could see myself in a purely romantic relationship. It just made me feel like they were indirectly saying I was faking being attracted to women for a fad because I don't want to sleep with anyone.

https://redd.it/1f244m2
@asexualityonreddit

Great I just embarrassed myself, should I stop saying I’m ace 😭

16f here i was in class and a convo came up and this girl was like oh you look bi I’m like I’m ace lol and this guy was like oh so and so is also ace and the I’m like omg you’re ace and he’s like no and we look at each other just awkwardly like uhh thats Awkward bc you just admitted youre into… yea… should I stop saying I’m ace is it like too intimate IDK HELPPPP

https://redd.it/1f25qoa
@asexualityonreddit

Finding out after years of marriage that I’m asexual…

I have been with my partner for almost 20 years, 10 of those have been married. We love each other very much but intimacy was always one sided which me being the one that needed the most convincing. I thought something was wrong with me. I thought maybe I was sexually attracted to the same sex, maybe it with my birth control, or maybe I had surpressed sexual trauma, or whatever. He was always ready to go no matter what or where and I was just almost Icked by it. I love cuddling, kisses, hold hands, and laying with him but sex just doesn’t matter to me. It’s uncomfortable and I can never get into it.

After some arguing we finally set down and discussed everything calmly. We have a plan that I know I cannot tell my friends or family bc they would think I’m insane. We both love each other very much. We don’t want a divorce or seeps ration in anyway. We instead of me freaking out about it, I gave him permission to sleep with a female within certain boundaries. He is ok and stays he has never actively looked for someone to be sexual with it knowing that I can thinking from a logical stance makes him feel better. I don’t want to punish him due to my lack of sexual affection. I did tell him that I don’t want it to be with anyone we know and I don’t want it to be within our home. We are currently working on our boundaries and was wondering if anyone else has tried this before. Did it help?

https://redd.it/1f2aetm
@asexualityonreddit

I seen a post that made me sad

I seen a post today that says “what do you call a woman who doesn’t give head?” And most the responses was men saying “useless” or “single”… imagine calling someone’s existences useless because they have a boundary and don’t want to do something sexual that you enjoy and want from them! It’s fine not to date someone if you aren’t compatible with them sexually 100% literally just don’t date them! But calling them “useless”… if this is how the majority of society thinks then I’m fine being single for a long, long time (: I never have to cave in and do things I don’t want to and I never will and I’m not “useless”! I work to the bone and have built a great life for myself despite where I come from and have friends and family who love me! I’m nice and I’m funny and chill (: and I don’t have sex at all! I hate everything sexual and don’t want anything to do with it and that’s doesn’t define my worth!

https://redd.it/1f2bbud
@asexualityonreddit

Anyone else have lust for fictional characters?

I mean, people? Ew. But I see some appeal in non-existent characters.

https://redd.it/1f28ew3
@asexualityonreddit

Finally got my aroace rings 🥹🥹

https://redd.it/1f2hb72
@asexualityonreddit

Someone from ADHDMeme told me yaal would like this comic.
https://redd.it/1f2hjvo
@asexualityonreddit

This fits here I think
https://redd.it/1f2l77v
@asexualityonreddit

Ace_irl
https://redd.it/1f2nsxe
@asexualityonreddit

Knowing that I’m most likely never gonna be able to find my person who is also ace is making me wanna die.

Whenever I had a crush on someone my first thought was I want to get to know this person and have a connection not oh I wanna have sex with them. I rarely ever wanted to have sex with somebody like it was never my first thought and the more people pushed it on me male and female it made me not want to even more. It’s to the point now where the only people I ever encountered even now just want sex. Like how can a man say oh I’m not ready for a relationship but he’s ready to do the most intimate thing possible that can produce a whole baby. Like it’s to the point now where the moment someone mention sex I get angry. It’s to the point where it’s triggering. Also I’ve lost my virginity so a abusive narcissist man after a year of being with him and wish I could take it back. It was some time after he left me for a month and cheated on me and I was trying to keep him from leaving again so I did it. was experimenting and he had cheated on me the whole relationship. We did it everyday for along time and I never loved it. It got to the point where he just used me for sex then kicked me out. I never even had a org like he was the only one enjoying it. I had to explain to him after some time that I don’t want to have sex ever again and obviously he got mad. Now here I am 3 years later 100% sure that I’m ace and I just want to find someone who is also ace. I’m tired of men saying oh you’re not ace you just haven’t done it with the right one. I don’t even get horny and have no desire to do anything sexual. I feel like I don’t belong on this earth anymore because of it. I feel so alone and misunderstood. I have to explain to every dude I’m not interested in sex like I want love and connection and of course they say they can’t live without sex and can’t be with me unless we do it. Like nobody ever wanted me for me and I feel like I’ll never find the one. I just needed to this off my chest.😭

https://redd.it/1f2pwo4
@asexualityonreddit

Sloth Demons
https://redd.it/1f2pkav
@asexualityonreddit

Miransexual

I found a label that finally fits me to a T. It feels great! Turns out it’s a more niche identity.

I still overall identify as Asexual.

https://redd.it/1f2wbyy
@asexualityonreddit

I got asked by my close friend to be his girlfriend, I said no.

I am close with him, we cuddle, laugh, talk, vent to each other but he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said no as I am unable to do things that require a relationship. He explained to me that being intimate is not on his mind, and reassured me that is not what he wants but I think its selfish because I know that he does want that, and im unable to give it to him. We talked that whole night about it and he kept saying that. I dont totally believe him and even if it was true why? He isnt asexual in any way. So i said no, no matter what my feelings are. I do like him, but im scared. Ive never had this before. Its scary and I dont like the term either. I may be afraid of commitment or distrusting but I feel Ive made the wrong decision here. He mentioned that I may have been brought up to think that sex holds more power than i think it does, but i dont know? Im just an idiot.

https://redd.it/1f2v1we
@asexualityonreddit

My friend gave me an ace flag today
https://redd.it/1f2xmhv
@asexualityonreddit

To the alloromantics: if your partner asked to be just friends, how would you react?

So I've been doing some thinking lately about my romantic orientation, and I have a question that's been in my head.
Imagine you're in a romantic relationship with someone. It's going great, you love them, you both want to live together, etc. But one day they come up to you and say they still want to spend their life with you, but in a completely platonic way. They still want to live with you and be emotionally close to you, but they no longer want to kiss, go by your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, hold hands, or anything like that. Would you be upset by this change in your relationship?
The more I think about it, the more I realize that I'd be completely fine if "the one" for me was just a really really close friend and nothing else. I suppose this may be considered a qpr? Either way, I'm trying to figure out if this is a typical feeling for alloromantic people, or if I should start considering that I may be on the aromantic spectrum.

TLDR I'd be fine if a romantic relationship suddenly became queerplatonic and I'm not sure if that's an alloromantic thing to think lol

https://redd.it/1f3017v
@asexualityonreddit

Was anyone else accused of being gay?

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being gay but it made me angry when I was accused simply because that’s not true and I hated people labeling me as something I’m not! I refused to try and get a boyfriend in high school and rejected a few ones who asked me out and because of that my moms brain jumped to “she doesn’t like men so she must be a lesbian!” If she paid attention I obviously had no interest in other girls ether 🤦‍♀️ my mom had my Facebook password at age 14 and added guys for me… and literally made me talk to them and it was so uncomfortable 😭 she added a 18 year old in high school and I was groomed and sexual abused by that person for a short period of time all because she forced me to talk to him… WHY COULDN’T SHE LET ME BE? ): other girls in high school spread rumors I was gay because I rejected guys in front of them and would push their phones back to them when they went to show me a random dick pic they got from a guy and would close my eyes or during conversations when they would ask if guys they had crushes on was cute or not I would always say “no” and overtime everyone 100% thought I was a lesbian because i also had a short hair cut 🤦‍♀️ and dating is so hard… I know better than to date someone who isn’t also asexual but I’ve had guys lie… LITERALLY! They must of thought they could change my mind later on or something like OMG! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ and some others in the LGBTQ+ community say we don’t struggle like them and don’t belong? 🥺 yeah… sure lol people don’t even think we exist! 😭

https://redd.it/1f321et
@asexualityonreddit