Looking for advice on how to tell my family I'm Ace

Context: Straight-Ace. Come from a Christian family. Moved out and living on my own, but still see my parents regularly. Never dated so not 100% sure where I fall on the ace spectrum, but I am open to dating women and just have next to no interest in sex if at all. Absolutely no desire for kids and I don't think I could make my position clearer without explaining that I don't even want to have sex with a potential future wife.

I recently tried coming out while at their house, but I couldn't figure out a way to broach the subject without it being super abrupt and awkward and ended up chickening out before I could say anything.

I feel like this is a discussion I need to have both so my folks and I are on the same page about stuff as well as there are some subjects I don't think I can speak honestly about without touching on my being ace (ie how I don't want kids or some things that have been bothering me at church).

Part of the problem is that I'm not even sure if either of my parents know what asexuality even is. I showed my mom a picture of an ace pride shirt I got recently and the meaning seemed to go straight over her head (granted, it is a stealth pride design and I freely admit it's my style even outside of that context, but still). I have done some prep work and started compiling some basic notes in case they had questions.

If anyone has advice on how to broach the subject and make this talk a little less awkward, I'm all ears.

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@asexualityonreddit

Any other Freysexuals here?

Freysexual - someone who loses sexual interest in someone once they get to know them.

Hey y'all, I'm a Frey/Grey ace. I've never spoken to another Freysexual, so I'm curious if any of y'all identify (or may be questioning) with being Frey?

Also feel free to ask questions bc I love talking about my anactdotal expirience.

https://redd.it/1f200e1
@asexualityonreddit

"Dead bedroom" posts are so gross to me

It's usually some middle aged guy who under appreciates his gf/wife and complains to thousands of strangers online that "how dare she have autonomy and use it!! She should always want to fuck me!"😂 it's like a small child complaining they can't use their favourite toy all the time. It's seriously pathetic and I'm so glad sex doesn't drive me the way it drives "normal people" cuz its honestly gross to me.

https://redd.it/1f241r8
@asexualityonreddit

I want the intimacy without the Sex

okay so technically I'm Sex indifferent but I've had so much SA trauma from all genders that I just can not do it even if in theory I wouldn't mind. I am the opposite of most AroAce in the sense that when heavily romantic or a sex scene comes on I'm not always disgusted or uncomfy. some sex scenes I look at and you can see so much chemistry between the characters that all I think about is how connected they are just the intimacy and closeness of it all, I want that so bad. to trust someone completely to be so vulnerable. and like yes I know there are many ways to get that besides sex, I used to always say that I would rather a deep convo late at night staying up laughing together. But I think the nice thing about sex with people who have a deep love for each other is that it's both a physical and emotional connection. Id give anything to have that type of bond with someone, without the actual sex of course. I'm into kink as well but it's hard finding Kinky Aces, but kink is not inherently sexual. ugh idk this is like the one thing I don't like about being Ace + SA trauma. idk Does anyone relate to this?

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@asexualityonreddit

Based Detective
https://redd.it/1f20t93
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I am so confused- my psychiatrist thinks I’m Asexual

Hi everyone,
A few months ago my psychiatrist told me he thinks I may be asexual. I have never heard of this term
before. After doing my own research I am even more
confused. I don’t feel like I fit the mold of what he is describing to me. He told me to do some research but it’s left me with more questions. I’m early 30s F, ex adult film creator, sex has always been a huge part of my life.

My whole adult life I’ve been pretty extreme in terms of sexuality. I’ve had many partners and enjoy different extreme fetishes as well. I’ve even made it my livelihood at one point in my life, and have been interested in different genders and group play. However, I am extremely bipolar and only partake in these sexual experiences when manic or under the influence of substances. Sober, although I still experience intense sexual attraction and practice solo acts, It’s really hard for me to be intimate with others. I am far too self-conscious about my body to be touched sexually in any way in a normal state of mind- even a back massage makes me shudder. I absolutely can’t stand to be touched or seen in a compromised state and I overthink that if I’m touching someone else, I’ll disappoint them. None of this stops me from having an enormous amount of sexual attraction to others- it’s just kept inside until I’m feeling manic or have a drink.

My psychiatrist has mentioned it a few times over the last few months and says I’m sex-repulsed. I personally feel it’s more that I am just really self conscious. He’s been on my team around a year now and I usually trust his opinion but I mean I am not repulsed by sex all of the time, and truly feel like if I was better looking and more confident, I would never be sex repulsed. After doing a lot of research I’m even more confused as there are so
many asexual variations… is anyone out there going through something similar?

Thank you 🙏

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My friends made me uncomfortable with what they said

They were discussing about this one woman who came out as biromantic but heterosexual. They said she was faking being queer for the fad of being queer. They said it was because she wasnt sexually attracted to women. It was a few people saying this so I didn't say anything in fear of being ganged up on. I told two of them previously that I was ace though but I still had romantic feelings for women and could see myself in a purely romantic relationship. It just made me feel like they were indirectly saying I was faking being attracted to women for a fad because I don't want to sleep with anyone.

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Great I just embarrassed myself, should I stop saying I’m ace 😭

16f here i was in class and a convo came up and this girl was like oh you look bi I’m like I’m ace lol and this guy was like oh so and so is also ace and the I’m like omg you’re ace and he’s like no and we look at each other just awkwardly like uhh thats Awkward bc you just admitted youre into… yea… should I stop saying I’m ace is it like too intimate IDK HELPPPP

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Finding out after years of marriage that I’m asexual…

I have been with my partner for almost 20 years, 10 of those have been married. We love each other very much but intimacy was always one sided which me being the one that needed the most convincing. I thought something was wrong with me. I thought maybe I was sexually attracted to the same sex, maybe it with my birth control, or maybe I had surpressed sexual trauma, or whatever. He was always ready to go no matter what or where and I was just almost Icked by it. I love cuddling, kisses, hold hands, and laying with him but sex just doesn’t matter to me. It’s uncomfortable and I can never get into it.

After some arguing we finally set down and discussed everything calmly. We have a plan that I know I cannot tell my friends or family bc they would think I’m insane. We both love each other very much. We don’t want a divorce or seeps ration in anyway. We instead of me freaking out about it, I gave him permission to sleep with a female within certain boundaries. He is ok and stays he has never actively looked for someone to be sexual with it knowing that I can thinking from a logical stance makes him feel better. I don’t want to punish him due to my lack of sexual affection. I did tell him that I don’t want it to be with anyone we know and I don’t want it to be within our home. We are currently working on our boundaries and was wondering if anyone else has tried this before. Did it help?

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I seen a post that made me sad

I seen a post today that says “what do you call a woman who doesn’t give head?” And most the responses was men saying “useless” or “single”… imagine calling someone’s existences useless because they have a boundary and don’t want to do something sexual that you enjoy and want from them! It’s fine not to date someone if you aren’t compatible with them sexually 100% literally just don’t date them! But calling them “useless”… if this is how the majority of society thinks then I’m fine being single for a long, long time (: I never have to cave in and do things I don’t want to and I never will and I’m not “useless”! I work to the bone and have built a great life for myself despite where I come from and have friends and family who love me! I’m nice and I’m funny and chill (: and I don’t have sex at all! I hate everything sexual and don’t want anything to do with it and that’s doesn’t define my worth!

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@asexualityonreddit

Anyone else have lust for fictional characters?

I mean, people? Ew. But I see some appeal in non-existent characters.

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@asexualityonreddit

Finally got my aroace rings 🥹🥹

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Someone from ADHDMeme told me yaal would like this comic.
https://redd.it/1f2hjvo
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This fits here I think
https://redd.it/1f2l77v
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Ace_irl
https://redd.it/1f2nsxe
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Knowing that I’m most likely never gonna be able to find my person who is also ace is making me wanna die.

Whenever I had a crush on someone my first thought was I want to get to know this person and have a connection not oh I wanna have sex with them. I rarely ever wanted to have sex with somebody like it was never my first thought and the more people pushed it on me male and female it made me not want to even more. It’s to the point now where the only people I ever encountered even now just want sex. Like how can a man say oh I’m not ready for a relationship but he’s ready to do the most intimate thing possible that can produce a whole baby. Like it’s to the point now where the moment someone mention sex I get angry. It’s to the point where it’s triggering. Also I’ve lost my virginity so a abusive narcissist man after a year of being with him and wish I could take it back. It was some time after he left me for a month and cheated on me and I was trying to keep him from leaving again so I did it. was experimenting and he had cheated on me the whole relationship. We did it everyday for along time and I never loved it. It got to the point where he just used me for sex then kicked me out. I never even had a org like he was the only one enjoying it. I had to explain to him after some time that I don’t want to have sex ever again and obviously he got mad. Now here I am 3 years later 100% sure that I’m ace and I just want to find someone who is also ace. I’m tired of men saying oh you’re not ace you just haven’t done it with the right one. I don’t even get horny and have no desire to do anything sexual. I feel like I don’t belong on this earth anymore because of it. I feel so alone and misunderstood. I have to explain to every dude I’m not interested in sex like I want love and connection and of course they say they can’t live without sex and can’t be with me unless we do it. Like nobody ever wanted me for me and I feel like I’ll never find the one. I just needed to this off my chest.😭

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Sloth Demons
https://redd.it/1f2pkav
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Miransexual

I found a label that finally fits me to a T. It feels great! Turns out it’s a more niche identity.

I still overall identify as Asexual.

https://redd.it/1f2wbyy
@asexualityonreddit