Fellow aces, forget about aphobia or whether you’re valid for a minute. Do you wear your cloak over both shoulders, just one, or not covering either shoulder?

I’ve tried all three and I can’t settle on one way to wear a cloak. Is it a situational, pragmatic kind of decision, or just a fashion choice? Am I making some kind of statement if I wear it a certain way? This is bugging me and I need to know.

The Ace Council probably has some answers, if nobody else does

https://redd.it/1evf5jd
@asexualityonreddit

Therapy be like
https://redd.it/1eve176
@asexualityonreddit

GUYS IM GOING INSAINE WHAT EVEN IS ROMANCE?????

Like i hear people describe it as like “caring about someone a-lot and wanting to be with them all the time and giving them gifts and complements and hugging n stuff” BUT I FEEL ALL THOSE ABOUT FRIENDS?????? The only substantial difference I understand is sex but what about asexual alloromantics??? Clearly they can still feel romantic attraction without sex so WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE????

(Sorry for being so angry lul ive just been confused about this for months and i still can’t figure it out)

https://redd.it/1evgima
@asexualityonreddit

Can a QPR count as “gay,” even if it’s not romantic or sexual?

I’m pretty sure I’m grayromantic and gray ace (or maybe aceflux?), and I’m still learning about how all of this stuff works. I’ve never had a QPR before, but I would be open to one. I’m just wondering if two people of the same gender (or similar genders?) in a QPR would count as gay, even if they’re aro and ace?

https://redd.it/1evhpd2
@asexualityonreddit

Petition to make Gwenpool a larger icon within the aro and ace communities! She is getting her own comic about her coming out and I hardly see her here
https://redd.it/1evlhtd
@asexualityonreddit

Allo people joining ace spaces because they gave up on relationships

I’ve been in a few ace discussion groups where there’s one person who admits they’re not ace but is choosing not to date anymore. Has anyone else experienced this? It’s so annoying lol

https://redd.it/1evlnkv
@asexualityonreddit

I think I am just going to date Ace people.

I'm having the same issue with my partner which is why the topic and title. I'm just not going to post the partner one since I know they reddit.

This weekend I had, a few years younger, friend bring up that I was more sex positive years ago and laugh. The only reason they know is because I was explaining Asexuality to a support group for LGBTQ we're both in. Majority of the group is fine or understanding.

I'm still having regrets. This friend, and my partner seem to bring it up accordingly if I do bring up that I'm Ace. Or just occasionally if it's relevant to the topic. So if I'm explaining it to a new person in the group or I am just communicating it.

So I explain that I'm Ace. They make a comment about me being sex positive in the 'but not really' Ace tone. Like their correcting me.

Maybe it's insecurity.. but I have had to deal with relationships going bad because they don't understand that I'm ace and I mean it. So occasionally I will bring up that I am Ace/Aro in a confirmation conversation. Just to remind them.

Still happens. So you just get so mad and tried of allo's some times.

I don't feel any sexual attraction or physical attraction and that makes me Asexual. The rest is just soup. That's the meat of it and the rest is just soup.

(Or in Ace terms, that's just the bread to my garlic. Garlic to my bread?)

I have been pretty historically sex positive but more of I 'thought it was interesting'.

As I have matured that's Just no longer the case. It's just eh and I have better things to do. I would be more in the sex-neutral to sex-repulsed category now.

"I don't feel any sexual attraction or physical attraction and that makes me Asexual." Is still true regardless. It's true and VALID.


It's like...

I've never found a hamburger to be appetizing. I would enjoy it is an option when I was younger because hey food. Now I just don't. I tried things and explored when I was younger, sure.

I still don't fine them appetizing, that hasn't changed. It's never going to.
Does that make me choosing not to eat hamburger even if it's presented to me now any less valid?

No no it doesn't. But hey I'm preaching to the choir. Still it needs to be said.

I have never found hamburgers appetizing and now I don't eat them either, why is it such a hard thing for others to get?

I've tried to explain what Asexual is actually occasionally to those two but it just goes back to this.

Whenever I hear this type of comments I just sometimes wish to never date the Allo's anymore just because it always happens. Or even explain Asexuality to people.

It's exhausting and being invalidated hurts. Their both Trans/bi for context so they should understand on some level.

https://redd.it/1evt0te
@asexualityonreddit

Show affection by crying in parking lots…
https://redd.it/1evwig0
@asexualityonreddit

Just curious, but how do you feel about s*x?

I’m so sorry if I didn’t tag this post accordingly—

I feel like it could just be somewhat due for growing up with my parents NEVER bringing up the subject all. It was always taboo and they still never acknowledged it or anything and I’m 19. Never rlly had “the talk” or anything so I had to figure out a lot on my own.

Sex and sexual attraction just seems so odd to me. I don’t understand it in the slightest bit.
Growing up I finally realized I was actually the odd one when I realized that people actually do feel sexually attracted to others. I just sort of thought sex was some big joke I wasn’t in on. I still think it’s a big joke and the whole idea of sex is so funny to me.
But realizing that it’s actually a BIG part of a relationship for some people took me aback—I couldn’t imagine thinking any less of your partner just because they decline to have sex. You love your partner so why would it be a necessity anyways, yk?

I never really connected the dots either when I thought how about how I was even born. I just like to think of me just spawning from nowhere.

https://redd.it/1evucx5
@asexualityonreddit

Calling ppl “lonely virgins” as an insult is so annoying

You realize some people choose it voluntarily and have no interest right?? They make it seem like virgins are these pathetic humans. Just shows how society always assumes people want to have sex and not having it makes u some kind of weirdo.

https://redd.it/1evyhct
@asexualityonreddit

Equally ace when drunk

https://redd.it/1evy718
@asexualityonreddit

She's definetly talking to an ace 😂
https://redd.it/1ew0ga1
@asexualityonreddit

Is this real???
https://redd.it/1ew2b7l
@asexualityonreddit

ace or bad experience

recently i’ve been pretty comfortable with the label of being ace. However i’m wondering if it’s possible it’s down to not great sexual experiences.

i’ve only ever had sex with one person a few times. it was fine, i didn’t really feel any pleasure at any point other than making out. it was something i more so did for him. before these experiences i didn’t have a negative/avoidant attitude towards sex whereas now i don’t like the idea of it it and it makes me want to avoid it happening. At the start i liked the idea/act of touching and kiss him but now not so much



https://redd.it/1ew7mcm
@asexualityonreddit

Unsure if I'll be welcome in the asexual community

(FTM 29) I realized early into reading Ace that I am not aceflux but asexual. I am sad leaving the bisexual community, but have decided to use biromantic instead of triromantic. I thought bisexuality fit me really well (along with aceflux) but upon reflection and hearing what sexual attraction looks like, I realized asexuality fits better. The one ace group I joined (college) kicked me out. I am worried because I have a sexually active background or other reasons I won't be accepted if I try to join another group.

Other concerns: my girlfriend said she "didn't get it" ig because I get horny. I tried to participate in causual sexual relationships but it didn't work well. I'm sad I don't get to "enjoy" that aspect of mlm culture. I only get aroused by images of monster girls (2d), and I think there is a sub identity that would fit that. But I don't want to have another identity I always have to explain.

Happy: my "likes blank better than sx" is robots! I am glad I figured this out before I got to go to a sx party, which I now think I wanted to do because I was jealous my gf had done it and I haven't. I think it would have ended very badly and with me being sex repulsed a long time. I am glad I don't have to worry about potentially becoming sexually attracted to someone I just met (I thought this happened to me once, but I think it was more a 'love at first sight' weird situation). Because it seems like more of a pain than anything. This is a lot easier to explain than being aceflux.

Thoughts on whether I should try to join a local ace community or just participate online are greatly appreciated.

Summary: both happy and sad I figured out ace and not aceflux. Worried won't be accepted in ace community and thoughts on this are welcome.

https://redd.it/1ewbimz
@asexualityonreddit

Some things realized

I am a lesbian.

I don't care for sex and sexual, kids and pets. No thanks on that.

I do want kissing, cuddling; non sexual stuff and all else life.

Maybe one day I'll find find someone of the same; a woman of the same and they don't care what each part of me consists of as long as I'm doing as should when, where and how can because they understand not all is a choice; a your fault and you can't do everything.

But who am I kidding. I'll never find a woman the same as me who doesn't care what each part of me consists of as long as I'm doing as should when, where and how can because they understand not all is a choice; a your fault and you can't do everything.

Have any of you been similar ?

...and to those of you similar... Why do think kissing is so wonderful ?



Edit: It has also come to my attention elsewhere that I can’t even remember that apparently being Ace in any way is going against transgender folk and that you should be having sex every day worn your partner or it isn’t a real relationship if you are in one; which I think is complete bull pucky. How are you transphobic for being sexless; but willing to kiss, cuddle, non sexual stuff and all else life?

https://redd.it/1ewamfp
@asexualityonreddit