I'm not even sure what my sexuality is, and that's fine

I'm a 57-year-old woman who has been happily married for going on 35 years. Neither of us is really interested in having sex with anyone, though we do like to look at attractive people.

For a long time, I thought that this was something that we should be working on fixing. But then I started hearing about asexuality, and things kinda clicked in my head.

I'm sure I'm somewhere on the a-spectra, but not precisely where. It's good to learn that my husband and I don't need fixing in this regard.

https://redd.it/rtz3pm
@asexualityonreddit

My internalised aphobia

Honestly it's so annoying being an asexual with a libido, cause it feels like I'm making up my lack of sexual attraction for attention, but at the same time, I know that I don't view people in that way, and I would be so uncomfortable if I was ever plopped into a sexual situation.

I also identify as biromantic, so I've had points thinking "if you can date any gender, surely you can fuck em too?" But like.. no?? Like, I still wank and shit like that, even though I kinda hate doing it. I basically just do it to get rid of that feeling as quick as possible. But when I'm talking about being ace with my friends, I never ever bring that up and I just pretend I've never done anything like that because I feel like it'll confuse them.

I read a book recently called "Loveless" by Alice Oseman, I'm sure many of you have heard of it, about an aro/ace character coming to terms with that. And a lot of the book, in terms of sexuality, not romantic orientation, struck a chord with me. And yet I still constantly feel like I'm faking it, joining a community that I don't belong in. Does anyone else feel like this? Please lemme know so I don't feel like I'm going crazy lol, thanks for reading my stupid lil rant :)

https://redd.it/ru7wba
@asexualityonreddit

My friend said it is understandable that my ex kept trying to pressure me into having sex with him, even though I told him I was asexual

She also said that if I date people (i’m assuming she meant non asexual people) it is expected for them to behave this way and want to have sex with me as they cannot help being physically attracted to me and we would be in a relationship… so apparently even if I say very clearly from the beginning I am asexual this doesn’t matter… Essentially she told me I cannot date anyone who isn’t asexual and expect them to not try to have sex with me, and I shouldn’t have been upset at my ex for repeatedly trying.

I was wondering how true her statement actually was, whilst I believe I have the right to be upset with people, is it realistic to think it is possible for me to be in a relationship with a non asexual person without them ever wanting sex from me? I know some asexual people have sex regardless but I personally don’t want to at all due to having sexual trauma and I don’t think that will ever change.

I’m tired of people just ignoring me when I say i’m asexual. I honestly feel like some guys even see it as a challenge or something rather than actually recognising what I am saying.

https://redd.it/ru8m17
@asexualityonreddit

WAIT

You mean all this time when I was watching porn I was supposed to want to fuck the pornstars. I thought I was just supposed admire their beauty and skill at their craft, fucking crazy.

https://redd.it/ru912j
@asexualityonreddit

Strong Ace Vibes. ?. ?
https://redd.it/rub5cb
@asexualityonreddit

My asexual ring. I'm open for any ideas on a colorful white banded aro ring!

https://redd.it/rubemn
@asexualityonreddit

Came out to my flatmates as ace and after explaining what it is I got asked "well don't you feel like you're missing out?" It's been weeks and I just now came up with a good comeback

"You know, snakes have 2 dicks. Don't YOU feel like you're missing out? They can have sex with 2 dicks while you only get one. Worry less about what I'm missing and focus on your own love life"

https://redd.it/ru9eko
@asexualityonreddit

Just wondering if not cursing is an ace thing (all of my ace friends including me don’t curse)



View Poll

https://redd.it/rufpoi
@asexualityonreddit

Who likes sex scenes?
https://redd.it/rug3cm
@asexualityonreddit

Read the rule before viewing! But here’s a cool cake!
https://redd.it/rua214
@asexualityonreddit

ace vibes
https://redd.it/ruioz0
@asexualityonreddit

when i found out how usual people get pregnant, well, my mom did it through Artificial insemination !
https://redd.it/ru993z
@asexualityonreddit

Recently came out as asexual

So after heaps of problems with my sex life I've come to the conclusion that I'm asexual and have been for a while. But I'm really down about it as my partner isn't asexual and I feel is getting sick of the lack of sex in our relationship but I just physically cannot have sex. What do I do? I don't want this relationship to get ruined because of me

https://redd.it/rul0z3
@asexualityonreddit

Ace moment
https://redd.it/rukd3x
@asexualityonreddit

I got my ace earrings in!
https://redd.it/ruccs4
@asexualityonreddit

Watch out for the void
https://redd.it/rul55j
@asexualityonreddit

Gotta say ace people are so under represented it’s rare I see something specifically making fun of us
https://redd.it/ruqeu7
@asexualityonreddit

Im a fan of the show and I think this belongs here
https://redd.it/rum5yt
@asexualityonreddit