Question for my fellow aces who have sex

Hi all! I’m an ace in a relationship with an allo, and we have sex a few times a month. My pleasure from sex comes exclusively from the emotional intimacy and making my partner feel good.

That being said, the physical pleasure is simply not there for me. (I’m AFAB, for additional context.) I feel next to nothing when I’m touched down there, and I don’t orgasm. This is not the fault of my (male) partner, as many would suggest, and I know this because I slept with a lot of different people when I was in college, many of them very experienced, and still, nothing.

I was just wondering if this is a common experience for aces. Sex is perfectly fulfilling and pleasurable for me for the reasons listed above, so I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything, but I feel extremely ostracized when people talk about the female orgasm. Talking about how if you’re not orgasming your partner is bad at sex, how you can never have fulfilling sex if you’re not orgasming, how suuuper sad it is if you’ve never had an orgasm, etc. etc.

It just kind of makes me feel like shit and like my experience as an ace isn’t being taken into consideration, but is this even because I’m ace? Or is it more likely that there is something physiologically wrong with my body causing me not to orgasm?

https://redd.it/rn3pw3
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I getting tired of people some times

I was browsing Imgur the other day and one on the pics is a regular on our Ace meme pages and the OP was joking about it because they're Ace and it was relatable.

Someone in the comments asked a genuine question on how a person realizes that they are Ace. One of the other commentors made it a point to tell the person who asked the question that Ace people are not real and 90% of all ace people are "90 pecent of the time people who identify as asexual either have a low sex drive or have some trauma that makes sex aversive, hence it can certainly be a choice"

When i tried to gently explain why that was wrong and used some of our links to help people understand what being ace is they turned around into some vile hateful bs about how we aren't scientifically sourced and i just cant with people.

Seriously, why can people just let other exist without having our existence validated to their standards? I didnt know wether to flair this as rant or aphobia because its both but theses people are just making it hard for me to interact with people.

https://redd.it/rn57ys
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I just figured out that I am panromantic asexual, so I decided to make an ace art piece! Hope you like it :D
https://redd.it/rn9qgn
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Being called attractive. No thanks.

Does anyone else get uncomfortable when someone compliments them? It always makes me super uncomfortable. It might just be poor self esteem. But anytime someone says even a non sexual compliment, I am just like,' no... don't say that to me. WYF is wrong with you?' Or is this just a me thing?

https://redd.it/rn84m1
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This dude gave me major asexual vibes.
https://redd.it/rnchp5
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A conversation I found in a group chat from before I knew I was ace
https://redd.it/rnaxsg
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My self insert wearing a subtle pride flag dress based on what we identified as. I have other OCs in the Ace spectrum, so I’ll be working on those as well!
https://redd.it/rng88k
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“I Think Our Son is Gay” Representation

So this manga is about a mom realizing her son is gay (as per title). But there’s also chapters about the little bro, Yuri, who I’m 90% sure is aromantic, if not asexual.

In Vol 1, you get signs and he’s generally disinterested in romance, but it’s touched upon more in Vol 2, where >!after a confession scene gone wrong, he says “I don’t get it. I don’t really get...this thing called ‘love.’”!<

This manga in general is an interesting read that I recommend.

https://redd.it/rnaqha
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I genuinely thought this sub was about garlic bread

Ok, hear me out. I saw a meme posted earlier about garlic bread, and naturally I checked the comments for fun. Somebody linked this sub, I took a quick glance at the description, and decided I’d join because who doesn’t like garlic bread memes? Well, a couple minutes ago, I saw the BINGO card post about ace experiences and, since I’m not ace, I was like, “The fuck? What does any of this mean?” Once I checked the subreddit for real, I was confused for a second, and then I laughed. How come this sub don’t have an official description instead of the garlic bread?

https://redd.it/rnetsn
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To the Green haired person, wearing nail polishers with the colour of our flag in the Christmas fair serving hot wine last week in Aachen, Germany, you're awesome!

This is an appreciation post and I hope you're here to read this, you served me hot wine to me and hot chocolate to my cousin last week:

I just got to say I loved you style and I regret I was too shy to comment on it when I had the chance and I'm happy you wear our ace colours so confidently. I wish I was more like you.

You and this community are awesome, I hope you all have a merry Christmas, if you're indeed into it, and a happy new year!

https://redd.it/rnioej
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Sleep > sex
https://redd.it/rnjsv5
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Sleep > sex
https://redd.it/rnjqdx
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Bisexuality is being attracted to both genders equally, right?

So that must mean I'm bisexual, because I feel next to no attraction to men or women!

(Actual thoughts from a young teenage me)

https://redd.it/rnjii7
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I got permanently banned from /r/LGBT for trying to fight ace erasure

There was a thread on /r/lgbt that was debating whether straight people should be allowed in queer spaces.

A trans commenter correctly pointed that some straight people are queer. The reply clarified that they meant cishet people. Then the reply to that said what about "cishet asexual" people.

I said that asexual and heterosexual are oxymorons. Because the person I was replying to had a trans flair, I thought I'd make the analogy to how you can't be cis and trans at the same time.

That comment got me permanently banned. I'm pretty upset because I always assumed that /r/lgbt was a safe space for aces too. Pretty gutwrenching to be told that a community that I thought I was part of would kick me out for standing up for myself so I'm retreating back to this subreddit for support.

https://redd.it/rnmuk2
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Finally got me an ace, couldn't find an actual ace ting, but I thought this looked awesome.

https://redd.it/rnk467
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It's frustrating that aesthetic attraction is such an unknown concept

I think aesthetic attraction is so beautiful, and it's weird how it never really gets talked about, both in casual conversation and on an academic level. I only learned about it through discussion among ace* people, but surely allos feel this level of attraction too? Do allo people never get captivated by someone in a non-sexual-or-romantic way? Whenever I admit to being aesthetically attracted to someone (even if I don't phrase it like that), they'll get weirded out because they think I'm hitting on them, but I'm not - I just appreciate their vibe and physical features very deeply. The whole concept of simply enjoying someone to that extent, with no love or lust involved, is just completely foreign to allos. That's so weird, right? I think that's weird. I just had to get that off my chest, I guess.

https://redd.it/rnl5f1
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Guys I found out what a thirst trap is

https://redd.it/rnou6q
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Guys, ask me anything.(Except I legitimately cannot answer 46)
https://redd.it/rnqokz
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