How do allos think like this?
A while back, I went off of my base to visit a nearby aquarium, looked at all the fish, explored the stores nearby and had a delightful time. The next day, I told my shipmates about it, and then they asked if I "got lucky." I wasn't sure what they meant at first, but it dawned on me that they were asking me if I had sex, which I did not. All I did was visit an aquarium and some stores you buffoons! Not exactly appropriate of a question for a time at an aquarium, and what made them come to that conclusion? How do they think like that?
https://redd.it/rfqln9
@asexualityonreddit
A while back, I went off of my base to visit a nearby aquarium, looked at all the fish, explored the stores nearby and had a delightful time. The next day, I told my shipmates about it, and then they asked if I "got lucky." I wasn't sure what they meant at first, but it dawned on me that they were asking me if I had sex, which I did not. All I did was visit an aquarium and some stores you buffoons! Not exactly appropriate of a question for a time at an aquarium, and what made them come to that conclusion? How do they think like that?
https://redd.it/rfqln9
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
How do allos think like this?
A while back, I went off of my base to visit a nearby aquarium, looked at all the fish, explored the stores nearby and had a delightful time. The...
Stop posting straight-up aphobia
I'm not even sure why this has to be said. About half the posts I see on this sub nowadays are just unspoilered screenshots of people being aphobic. This is supposed to be a sub for ace people to communicate with other ace people, not remind everyone that there are people who think we're just mentally ill losers. I get wanting to vent about aphobic encounters online, but at least spoiler it. If I wanted to see people's aphobic opinions I'd just go on some Incel sub.
Tl;dr: Spoiler your posts about aphobia, or better yet don't post it at all
https://redd.it/rfpcnw
@asexualityonreddit
I'm not even sure why this has to be said. About half the posts I see on this sub nowadays are just unspoilered screenshots of people being aphobic. This is supposed to be a sub for ace people to communicate with other ace people, not remind everyone that there are people who think we're just mentally ill losers. I get wanting to vent about aphobic encounters online, but at least spoiler it. If I wanted to see people's aphobic opinions I'd just go on some Incel sub.
Tl;dr: Spoiler your posts about aphobia, or better yet don't post it at all
https://redd.it/rfpcnw
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Stop posting straight-up aphobia
I'm not even sure why this has to be said. About half the posts I see on this sub nowadays are just unspoilered screenshots of people being...
My asexual boyfriend sent me a Christmas present to show off my asexual pride
https://redd.it/rfxc33
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/rfxc33
@asexualityonreddit
Do asexual people tend to fall in love hard?
So i'm an ace (24/F) experiencing being in love with someone for the first time. For context, i didnt found out i was an ace 2-3 years ago and i've never been the type to actively seek a relationship or have multiple crushes (still boggles how people manage to have multiple crushes). Still, i consider myself a beginner in being an ace since I don't know which spectrum do I stand on, possibly a demisexual (since i never been in relationship).
Before meeting my now-crush 2 years ago, I had only experienced a crush once when I was in middle school and even then, it was not strong enough for me wanting to have a relationship with him. Since then, I haven't had another crush since (aside celebrity crush, ofc) since i don't do dating. And i genuinely believed that I was incapable of romantic love. Obviously, that all changed when I met him. We were part of a theater club and was working as light crew, and we would worked together in a small room, shoulder side by side (the good ol days lol). In the span of two weeks of getting to know each other, I started to feel something in me, something familiar. At first, i was confused of what i was feeling towards him and thought my "crush" for him was just a desire to be his friend that I mistook for a crush (i noticed that i tend to have those a lot). I also didn't think that I like him in that way since i didn't feel any of those butterfly feelings like i had with my previous crush. I just felt calm, like I can be around him, and we have a lot in common. When I finally realize what I was feeling was love when I find myself trying to ask him out, I wanted to confess to him and even have the intention to be his gf. But i guess the universe was against me because another girl beat me to it and now they're dating.
Fast forward to present day, they're still dating (its a long distance though) and Im here, trying to move on from him and its proven to be hard since how much in love i am, so much so I told myself that If he is happy, then i',m happy (even though there is some parts of me that they would break up).
I guess what i'm trying to say is: do us ace tend to fall in love hard, especially for someone who believed that they would never fall in love and now experiencing love for the first time. I wanted to move on because its making me depressed seeing them together, but at the same time, I was afraid to let go of this crush because I don't know when I would find someone to love, and i'm afraid it would take another ten years for me to crush or maybe never.
Sorry for the long post. Just want to let tell someone else other than my friends :/
https://redd.it/rfxio1
@asexualityonreddit
So i'm an ace (24/F) experiencing being in love with someone for the first time. For context, i didnt found out i was an ace 2-3 years ago and i've never been the type to actively seek a relationship or have multiple crushes (still boggles how people manage to have multiple crushes). Still, i consider myself a beginner in being an ace since I don't know which spectrum do I stand on, possibly a demisexual (since i never been in relationship).
Before meeting my now-crush 2 years ago, I had only experienced a crush once when I was in middle school and even then, it was not strong enough for me wanting to have a relationship with him. Since then, I haven't had another crush since (aside celebrity crush, ofc) since i don't do dating. And i genuinely believed that I was incapable of romantic love. Obviously, that all changed when I met him. We were part of a theater club and was working as light crew, and we would worked together in a small room, shoulder side by side (the good ol days lol). In the span of two weeks of getting to know each other, I started to feel something in me, something familiar. At first, i was confused of what i was feeling towards him and thought my "crush" for him was just a desire to be his friend that I mistook for a crush (i noticed that i tend to have those a lot). I also didn't think that I like him in that way since i didn't feel any of those butterfly feelings like i had with my previous crush. I just felt calm, like I can be around him, and we have a lot in common. When I finally realize what I was feeling was love when I find myself trying to ask him out, I wanted to confess to him and even have the intention to be his gf. But i guess the universe was against me because another girl beat me to it and now they're dating.
Fast forward to present day, they're still dating (its a long distance though) and Im here, trying to move on from him and its proven to be hard since how much in love i am, so much so I told myself that If he is happy, then i',m happy (even though there is some parts of me that they would break up).
I guess what i'm trying to say is: do us ace tend to fall in love hard, especially for someone who believed that they would never fall in love and now experiencing love for the first time. I wanted to move on because its making me depressed seeing them together, but at the same time, I was afraid to let go of this crush because I don't know when I would find someone to love, and i'm afraid it would take another ten years for me to crush or maybe never.
Sorry for the long post. Just want to let tell someone else other than my friends :/
https://redd.it/rfxio1
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Do asexual people tend to fall in love hard?
So i'm an ace (24/F) experiencing being in love with someone for the first time. For context, i didnt found out i was an ace 2-3 years ago and...
Unpopular opinion on microlabels
It’s early in the morning and I couldn’t sleep properly today, so please bear with me. As a disclaimer, I want to make it clear that I think it is wonderful that our understanding of asexuality broadens and that people can find a place under our umbrella.
However, I think like hyperfocusing on giving a label to every different and borderline individualized manner asexuality manifests loses grip on our group identity and starts to say more about personality than sexuality. At some point we start using descriptors that relate only very faintly to our shared experiences as a sexual minority and obsess over finding an incredibly specific niche with which we’ll never be entirely satisfied with because each of us has a particular and individualized manner of experiencing asexuality.
For instance, although I could identify as “aegosexual” because I experience non-object-oriented sexual desire, this does not add anything to our common understanding of sexual attraction as object-oriented sexual desire. Instead of using that microlabel, you could simply say that asexual people may, in certain circumstances, experience sexual desire as opposed to attraction. The microlabel thus seems to be more divisive than unifying and more about personality than sexuality.
In other cases it is the opposite. Demisexuals or Grey-asexuals for example are two cases where the microlabel is broad enough to, in some cases, defeat the conceptual power of asexuality altogether. There are some situations where people who by any societal standard would be considered straight fall under those categories. In fact the microlabel can be applied so broadly as to include people who do not fantasize about having sex with random people of the opposite gender, which is probably just about everyone, and there is validity in the claim that if everybody is asexual, then no one is asexual.
I propose instead that we try to focus on defining asexuality in a way that is not gate-kept, but maintains conceptual power and a potential for community-building around shared experiences. The core concept there is how to define “sexual attraction”. This is challenging, and different people will have different experiences, but we should address this plurality of experiences in a more responsible manner than simply flooding the community with labels.
Tl;dr: microlabels either hyperfocus on aspects of personality or weaken the conceptual power of asexuality, we should avoid them and focus on building a shared understanding of sexual attraction instead.
https://redd.it/rg10a7
@asexualityonreddit
It’s early in the morning and I couldn’t sleep properly today, so please bear with me. As a disclaimer, I want to make it clear that I think it is wonderful that our understanding of asexuality broadens and that people can find a place under our umbrella.
However, I think like hyperfocusing on giving a label to every different and borderline individualized manner asexuality manifests loses grip on our group identity and starts to say more about personality than sexuality. At some point we start using descriptors that relate only very faintly to our shared experiences as a sexual minority and obsess over finding an incredibly specific niche with which we’ll never be entirely satisfied with because each of us has a particular and individualized manner of experiencing asexuality.
For instance, although I could identify as “aegosexual” because I experience non-object-oriented sexual desire, this does not add anything to our common understanding of sexual attraction as object-oriented sexual desire. Instead of using that microlabel, you could simply say that asexual people may, in certain circumstances, experience sexual desire as opposed to attraction. The microlabel thus seems to be more divisive than unifying and more about personality than sexuality.
In other cases it is the opposite. Demisexuals or Grey-asexuals for example are two cases where the microlabel is broad enough to, in some cases, defeat the conceptual power of asexuality altogether. There are some situations where people who by any societal standard would be considered straight fall under those categories. In fact the microlabel can be applied so broadly as to include people who do not fantasize about having sex with random people of the opposite gender, which is probably just about everyone, and there is validity in the claim that if everybody is asexual, then no one is asexual.
I propose instead that we try to focus on defining asexuality in a way that is not gate-kept, but maintains conceptual power and a potential for community-building around shared experiences. The core concept there is how to define “sexual attraction”. This is challenging, and different people will have different experiences, but we should address this plurality of experiences in a more responsible manner than simply flooding the community with labels.
Tl;dr: microlabels either hyperfocus on aspects of personality or weaken the conceptual power of asexuality, we should avoid them and focus on building a shared understanding of sexual attraction instead.
https://redd.it/rg10a7
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Unpopular opinion on microlabels
It’s early in the morning and I couldn’t sleep properly today, so please bear with me. As a disclaimer, I want to make it clear that I think it is...