I get it but it’s tiring
All these posts from allos talking about how miserable they are dating asexuals is really doing a number on my confidence tbh
I get that this is a good place to get advice, but there’s just been so many recently and it just makes me feel kinda hopeless
It feels like there’s a new post every day with the exact same story about how they love their partner but they’re fundamentally incompatible
I wish I had the self-confidence not to get mopey over a couple of failed relationships, but it just seems to reaffirm my fears that my identity is fundamentally a burden
https://redd.it/q78ra4
@asexualityonreddit
All these posts from allos talking about how miserable they are dating asexuals is really doing a number on my confidence tbh
I get that this is a good place to get advice, but there’s just been so many recently and it just makes me feel kinda hopeless
It feels like there’s a new post every day with the exact same story about how they love their partner but they’re fundamentally incompatible
I wish I had the self-confidence not to get mopey over a couple of failed relationships, but it just seems to reaffirm my fears that my identity is fundamentally a burden
https://redd.it/q78ra4
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
I get it but it’s tiring
All these posts from allos talking about how miserable they are dating asexuals is really doing a number on my confidence tbh I get that this is...
Ace representation in the German Hygiene Museum in Dresden in their sexuality exhibit. Was kinda nice to see this
https://redd.it/q7aceg
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/q7aceg
@asexualityonreddit
Ignoring your asexuality can be harmful to your mental AND physical health.
I commented this on another post, but I thought it was important to share more widely, because I don't think people—asexual and not—consider the dangers asexual people face specifically.
Trust your feelings, stand up for yourself, and never settle on a partner who doesn't get it.
When I was \~15, I came out to my friends as asexual. They told me I was just being immature. Believing them, I tried to "not be asexual." I found a boyfriend who loved sex; when we would meet, he wanted it several times a day. I convinced myself I liked it, because my body did the "right" things—lubricated, sometimes O'ed...
But in my head, the asexuality never went away. I didn't realise until a couple years ago that coercion was a thing and that 99% of my sexual encounters were non-consensual. I had to be convinced almost every single time. And boy, did that explain a lot. Though I gave in to sex on the outside, my body did not, and in the background, my mind was secretly tucking away a bunch of trauma.
In fact, my reluctance led to vaginismus (pelvic floor dysfunction) that caused pain upon insertion amongst other symptoms that I deal with daily and have been told I will have to handle for life. This led to even more trauma to the point I now physically shake any time anyone—including doctors—approach that part of me. I said to my ex that I thought I was asexual, and he just said "No you're not, you're just scared. You'll love it once you're fixed." That ex turned out to be abusive, anyway 🤷♀️
Basically, friends and partners ignoring your sexuality can actually be very harmful, so it's important to find someone who respects you.
https://redd.it/q7cid1
@asexualityonreddit
I commented this on another post, but I thought it was important to share more widely, because I don't think people—asexual and not—consider the dangers asexual people face specifically.
Trust your feelings, stand up for yourself, and never settle on a partner who doesn't get it.
When I was \~15, I came out to my friends as asexual. They told me I was just being immature. Believing them, I tried to "not be asexual." I found a boyfriend who loved sex; when we would meet, he wanted it several times a day. I convinced myself I liked it, because my body did the "right" things—lubricated, sometimes O'ed...
But in my head, the asexuality never went away. I didn't realise until a couple years ago that coercion was a thing and that 99% of my sexual encounters were non-consensual. I had to be convinced almost every single time. And boy, did that explain a lot. Though I gave in to sex on the outside, my body did not, and in the background, my mind was secretly tucking away a bunch of trauma.
In fact, my reluctance led to vaginismus (pelvic floor dysfunction) that caused pain upon insertion amongst other symptoms that I deal with daily and have been told I will have to handle for life. This led to even more trauma to the point I now physically shake any time anyone—including doctors—approach that part of me. I said to my ex that I thought I was asexual, and he just said "No you're not, you're just scared. You'll love it once you're fixed." That ex turned out to be abusive, anyway 🤷♀️
Basically, friends and partners ignoring your sexuality can actually be very harmful, so it's important to find someone who respects you.
https://redd.it/q7cid1
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Ignoring your asexuality can be harmful to your mental AND...
I commented this on another post, but I thought it was important to share more widely, because I don't think people—asexual and not—consider the...
Hello everyone! added rings of larger size according to your requests
https://redd.it/q7fyfv
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/q7fyfv
@asexualityonreddit
A comic I drew years l before knew Ace was a thing. (I was 20) In a self fulfilling prophecy, I now live alone with many birds.
https://redd.it/q7etzs
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/q7etzs
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
A comic I drew years l before knew Ace was a thing. (I was 20) In...
Posted in r/aaaaaaacccccccce by u/Worldly_Ratio1771 • 652 points and 24 comments
The relationship advice for repulsed/sex averse aces is a little discouraging.
Every time there's a post on here from a repulsed/sex averse ace on here talking about how they're worried they'll be alone forever or never find anyone to date because they won't have sex, it seems like it's the aces that do have sex seem to give the advice.
For instance, if you see one of these posts and go to the comments the top one is usually from and ace dating an allo saying that it is possible, you just have to find the right person who will accept your asexuality and respect your boundaries. I think this is a great thing to see, but somewhere in the response they'll also say that they do have sex with their partners rarely, occasionally, or often. Then you go to the next comment and it's the same thing.
I do think these responses are positive and can be encouraging or helpful to some, but at the same time, it's not the same thing. For many allos (not all of course), no sex is dealbreaker. Telling someone who has sex strictly off the table, that its possible to have a happy relationship, even though this relationship they're speaking of includes sex is a little discouraging.
https://redd.it/q7g9t0
@asexualityonreddit
Every time there's a post on here from a repulsed/sex averse ace on here talking about how they're worried they'll be alone forever or never find anyone to date because they won't have sex, it seems like it's the aces that do have sex seem to give the advice.
For instance, if you see one of these posts and go to the comments the top one is usually from and ace dating an allo saying that it is possible, you just have to find the right person who will accept your asexuality and respect your boundaries. I think this is a great thing to see, but somewhere in the response they'll also say that they do have sex with their partners rarely, occasionally, or often. Then you go to the next comment and it's the same thing.
I do think these responses are positive and can be encouraging or helpful to some, but at the same time, it's not the same thing. For many allos (not all of course), no sex is dealbreaker. Telling someone who has sex strictly off the table, that its possible to have a happy relationship, even though this relationship they're speaking of includes sex is a little discouraging.
https://redd.it/q7g9t0
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
The relationship advice for repulsed/sex averse aces is a little...
Every time there's a post on here from a repulsed/sex averse ace on here talking about how they're worried they'll be alone forever or never find...