why is the community not ready for this talk?
tw// mention of aphobia, little bit of a vent
cis - identifying as the same gender you were born as.
het- hetero-romantic (in this case)
i feel like the lgbtqia+ community isn’t ready to accept that there are cishet straight people in the community. i feel safe posting this here because we are all fellow a-spec people no matter where you are on the spec.
i’ve seen some pretty nasty things towards cishet people in general on social media; about how we will never be apart of the community and we are just holding the community hand if you will. just completely disregarding cis, straight a-spec people. i don’t know; maybe i just take it to heart since i’ve never really felt fully accepted in the community as a whole and i’m a cishet ace.
i’d like to hear everyone opinions on it too! do you think i’m overthinking it or do you agree? :)
https://redd.it/puqp3f
@asexualityonreddit
tw// mention of aphobia, little bit of a vent
cis - identifying as the same gender you were born as.
het- hetero-romantic (in this case)
i feel like the lgbtqia+ community isn’t ready to accept that there are cishet straight people in the community. i feel safe posting this here because we are all fellow a-spec people no matter where you are on the spec.
i’ve seen some pretty nasty things towards cishet people in general on social media; about how we will never be apart of the community and we are just holding the community hand if you will. just completely disregarding cis, straight a-spec people. i don’t know; maybe i just take it to heart since i’ve never really felt fully accepted in the community as a whole and i’m a cishet ace.
i’d like to hear everyone opinions on it too! do you think i’m overthinking it or do you agree? :)
https://redd.it/puqp3f
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
why is the community not ready for this talk?
tw// mention of aphobia, little bit of a vent cis - identifying as the same gender you were born as. het- hetero-romantic (in this case) i...
Telling therapist I'm aspec (bad)
Today I've told my therapist, who I've been seeing since April, that I was aroace. I also told her that I had a partner (a qpr, though i didnt use that word, i just said that our relationship wasn't sexual nor romantic, bc we both were aroace)
She listened, but I could see she didn't undertand or thought it was a legitimate orientation.
When I finished talking, she told me that my qpr wasn't a relationship, if we didn't have romantic or sexual feelings, we were friends, we werent partners.
I explained to her that our relationship wasn't a friendship, that it was different, but she insisted on saying that it wasn't a partnership.
She also asked me what I thought a partner was, in my definition sex wasn't included. She pointed that out and she told me that if in a relationship there wasn't sex, it wasn't a relationship, even though it could be romantic. She just seemed so focused on prioritising sex in relationships.
She also told me that we should look into what "made me identify that way". She was sure that I was repressing my attraction, and that it could be fixed. She then told me that inside I had romanticism, that I loved books and more, but that I had a barrier and it didn't let me project it outwards. As if me being aro was repressing my attraction
I'm thinking of changing therapists, I felt so invalidated. Am I overracting?
https://redd.it/puo9jv
@asexualityonreddit
Today I've told my therapist, who I've been seeing since April, that I was aroace. I also told her that I had a partner (a qpr, though i didnt use that word, i just said that our relationship wasn't sexual nor romantic, bc we both were aroace)
She listened, but I could see she didn't undertand or thought it was a legitimate orientation.
When I finished talking, she told me that my qpr wasn't a relationship, if we didn't have romantic or sexual feelings, we were friends, we werent partners.
I explained to her that our relationship wasn't a friendship, that it was different, but she insisted on saying that it wasn't a partnership.
She also asked me what I thought a partner was, in my definition sex wasn't included. She pointed that out and she told me that if in a relationship there wasn't sex, it wasn't a relationship, even though it could be romantic. She just seemed so focused on prioritising sex in relationships.
She also told me that we should look into what "made me identify that way". She was sure that I was repressing my attraction, and that it could be fixed. She then told me that inside I had romanticism, that I loved books and more, but that I had a barrier and it didn't let me project it outwards. As if me being aro was repressing my attraction
I'm thinking of changing therapists, I felt so invalidated. Am I overracting?
https://redd.it/puo9jv
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Telling therapist I'm aspec (bad)
Today I've told my therapist, who I've been seeing since April, that I was aroace. I also told her that I had a partner (a qpr, though i didnt use...
We are almost at two thousand members , invite Link in comments or use vanity url (asexual)
https://redd.it/puxhac
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/puxhac
@asexualityonreddit
What's it like being Asexual?
Does that mean you're not interested in sex at all? Do you get sexual arousal from certain kinks that don't have to with the body, like an eating fetish? Do you masturbate? As a very horny straight guy it's just really interesting to think about what it would be like.
https://redd.it/pux5tu
@asexualityonreddit
Does that mean you're not interested in sex at all? Do you get sexual arousal from certain kinks that don't have to with the body, like an eating fetish? Do you masturbate? As a very horny straight guy it's just really interesting to think about what it would be like.
https://redd.it/pux5tu
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
What's it like being Asexual?
Does that mean you're not interested in sex at all? Do you get sexual arousal from certain kinks that don't have to with the body, like an eating...
Why do so many approach queer identities as contingent on active sexuaity??
Even in queer communities, questioning your identity is met with questions like “well could you see yourself having sex with that person/gender?” As if being sexually active is the only way to validate or be ‘truly’ queer.
I’ve always kept it quiet in public, but my answer is no. I can’t ‘see’ myself having sex with ANYBODY. I am very slightly sex repulsed, and I can have enjoyable sex, but it’s not stimulating, comfortable, or satisfying for me. Reactions like these led me to believe that in order to be normal and to really know my own identity, I had to have sex. So I did, with various straight cis men-and it felt like nothing? Doing things like this pushed off my realizations back years. It took being raped and coming out of that completely hyper sexual for months until I realized how much I was damaging myself by doing these degrading things that I wasnt comfortable with.
I’ll never understand why so much of the world and even the lgbtq community demands sexuality and labels while rejecting the lack of desire for sex.
https://redd.it/puuj5e
@asexualityonreddit
Even in queer communities, questioning your identity is met with questions like “well could you see yourself having sex with that person/gender?” As if being sexually active is the only way to validate or be ‘truly’ queer.
I’ve always kept it quiet in public, but my answer is no. I can’t ‘see’ myself having sex with ANYBODY. I am very slightly sex repulsed, and I can have enjoyable sex, but it’s not stimulating, comfortable, or satisfying for me. Reactions like these led me to believe that in order to be normal and to really know my own identity, I had to have sex. So I did, with various straight cis men-and it felt like nothing? Doing things like this pushed off my realizations back years. It took being raped and coming out of that completely hyper sexual for months until I realized how much I was damaging myself by doing these degrading things that I wasnt comfortable with.
I’ll never understand why so much of the world and even the lgbtq community demands sexuality and labels while rejecting the lack of desire for sex.
https://redd.it/puuj5e
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Why do so many approach queer identities as contingent on active...
Even in queer communities, questioning your identity is met with questions like “well could you see yourself having sex with that...
Just realised how much I've grown to live my asexuality
For a while I was deeply in denial, and I've come to love this part of myself dearly, but what I was really thinking about is
When I first looked up the flag I was kind of annoyed to be ace because of all the pretty flags, I was stuck with one of the most boring.
But since then the sight of these colours together has brought me only joy and even calm when I'm going through it. I've come to adore the flag and it's just incredibly comforting.
It feels really good : )
https://redd.it/pv0g9z
@asexualityonreddit
For a while I was deeply in denial, and I've come to love this part of myself dearly, but what I was really thinking about is
When I first looked up the flag I was kind of annoyed to be ace because of all the pretty flags, I was stuck with one of the most boring.
But since then the sight of these colours together has brought me only joy and even calm when I'm going through it. I've come to adore the flag and it's just incredibly comforting.
It feels really good : )
https://redd.it/pv0g9z
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Just realised how much I've grown to live my asexuality
For a while I was deeply in denial, and I've come to love this part of myself dearly, but what I was really thinking about is When I first looked...
TERFs be like:
"WOMEN CAN WEAR WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT WITHOUT BEING SLUTSHAMED!!" asexual wears what they want "Now this is ridiculous they're looking for sex! They're putting a bad light on women!" Asexuals can't have or do anything, can we?
https://redd.it/puw0wn
@asexualityonreddit
"WOMEN CAN WEAR WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT WITHOUT BEING SLUTSHAMED!!" asexual wears what they want "Now this is ridiculous they're looking for sex! They're putting a bad light on women!" Asexuals can't have or do anything, can we?
https://redd.it/puw0wn
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
TERFs be like:
"WOMEN CAN WEAR WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT WITHOUT BEING SLUTSHAMED!!" *asexual wears what they want* "Now this is ridiculous they're looking for...
One of my first ace moments I guess
Ok so I'm not really sure why I'm posting this, just randomly remembered and thought I might aswell share.
So basically, at some point in sex ed in school, we were talking about how people could have a baby without having sex due to modern technology, and how they apparently could decide on certain genes (hair colour, eye colour, certain characteristics, etc.). And at some point I just blurted out, "But wouldn't that be boring?", and I just didn't know why my classmates were looking at me funny, not realizung that everyone understood it as me basically saying "it would be boring to have no sex if you want children" or something like that. I literelly only realized that like half a year later. What I was actually referring to was that it would be boring to have a child exactly the way you wanted it, luckily I clarified that during the lesson, but I still felt incredibly uncomfortable.
Anyway, thanks for reading this, not 100% if this matches the subreddit but I wanted to tell someone about it and this felt the most matching. Have a good day!
https://redd.it/pv34zv
@asexualityonreddit
Ok so I'm not really sure why I'm posting this, just randomly remembered and thought I might aswell share.
So basically, at some point in sex ed in school, we were talking about how people could have a baby without having sex due to modern technology, and how they apparently could decide on certain genes (hair colour, eye colour, certain characteristics, etc.). And at some point I just blurted out, "But wouldn't that be boring?", and I just didn't know why my classmates were looking at me funny, not realizung that everyone understood it as me basically saying "it would be boring to have no sex if you want children" or something like that. I literelly only realized that like half a year later. What I was actually referring to was that it would be boring to have a child exactly the way you wanted it, luckily I clarified that during the lesson, but I still felt incredibly uncomfortable.
Anyway, thanks for reading this, not 100% if this matches the subreddit but I wanted to tell someone about it and this felt the most matching. Have a good day!
https://redd.it/pv34zv
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
One of my first ace moments I guess
Ok so I'm not really sure why I'm posting this, just randomly remembered and thought I might aswell share. So basically, at some point in sex ed...