Anyone else feel awkward looking at aesthetic people?

I feel an aesthetic attraction towards some people, but I always feel really awkward looking at anyone - I get the impression that allos generally think sexually when they're staring at people, which gives kinda dirty connotations to looking at people any more than just in passing, so when I just want to look at someone to admire their appearance, I constantly have to stop myself and look elsewhere instead to avoid being creepy or disgusting. Is this just me or do other aces feel the same way?

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We could think of a few things... 🍰
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omg it is
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Which part of the aspec are you on?

If you picked other, then feel free to let me know in the comments!
let’s go garlic bread lads!

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A constant mood
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What percentage of the population do YOU think are on the Ace spectrum?

Ive read various statistics, ranging from 1% to 10%. The 10% being for young people and 1% for the entire population.

I know we aren't all data analysts but I was just curious about your opinions on what you'd guestimate based on your experiences.

I think the statistics are probably quite under-reported due to lots of Ace people being closeted or not identifying with it because they don't know what it is.

Thoughts?

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Here's something they don't tell you about sex...

How God damn expensive it is. Condoms contraceptives pregnancy tests... Smoking cigarettes is literally cheaper. What the fuck. I entered in a sexual relationship to try it out and now I'm like fuck, go back. It's work, it's a hassle, it's expensive and after all that I could still get a screeching crotch goblin I have to look after while throwing away the best years of my life. What the fuck.

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Am I not asexual for doing this? Maybe I explained it wrong..?
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An Asexual looking for a partner.
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"You just haven't found the right guy yet"

What annoys me the most when I tell people, even friends, that I'm asexual and try to explain it to them, is when they respond with "you just haven't found the right guy yet". It's so frustrating as I've never experienced sexual attraction to anyone, ever, in 21 years. Even people I've crushed on, found attractive, dated. Nothing. So for now, I identify as asexual, because that's what I am. If I do find one person sexually attractive in the future, then I still think it would still be under the asexual umbrella, for example demisexual or something else. I'll deal with that if that time comes. But please, stop trying to argue with my sexuality.

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ace_irl
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Maybe if I had just one I'd have something to look forward to after work or on weekends
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Big ace energy to me
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Shout out to Willy Wonka, an aroace icon!
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I don't want a "glow up"

I know I could look more "attractive" if I wore certain clothing styles, did my hair a certain way, did my makeup, etc but the thought of being seen as more sexually desirable makes my skin crawl. I have a particular personal style that some might consider frumpy but it works for me and makes me happy. I don't have anything against people who "glow up" if it makes them happy too! But the idea that everyone needs to morph into the most sexually attractive versions of themselves in order to be respected and validated seems a bit flawed. I don't want to look hot and sexy because that wouldn't feel like "me". I always hated those makeover scenes in teen movies bc I look very much like all the "befores" and I don't really see anything wrong with it. Sometimes it baffles people that I'm not good looking but I'm also not insecure about it; some of them even seem to resent me for it.

One person I know suggested I need to do squats/workout because I have a flat butt and I was like uhhh I don't want to get a bigger butt and have more people looking at it and paying attention to me like that?!! Though to be honest sometimes it does hurt to sit on my bony ass Lol. Totally separately another person said I should cut and color my hair and it would look "so much prettier" on me. 🙄 But I like it how it is just fine.

I love the wintertime because I can dress modestly all the time and not worry about being sexualized as much. Oversized sweaters, puffy jackets, etc. Edit - Yes I could dress modestly in the summer too but the discomfort of the southern heat FAR outweighs the discomfort of people seeing/commenting on my body.

I'm not sure what I'm getting at but wondering if anyone has had similar thoughts? It seems like there's some misogyny involved too bc it's almost always women/girls who are glowing up like it's somehow our obligation to be "appealing" and be pretty decorations.

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Yes
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I got my first piece of ace apparel today and the person selling it to me was aphobic

I went to a LGBT apparel store in my city to support local business, and when I came to the counter with my ace flag apparel the person there told me they didn't think that flag shouldn't exist. They said that everyone turns "asexual" with age and that sex is natural and that a young person (like me) couldn't possibly be asexual. I was tempted to tell them if that's what they thought I didn't want to buy it from them anymore, but I didn't want to make a fuss and saying that I wanted it anyways felt like enough of a statement.

This has been my first time relating myself to asexuality and I was hoping it'd be a small moment of community. I instead was told I wasn't valid and even though I know I am, this experience has made me feel like the LGBT community doesn't welcome me. And I know it's not the case for every member of the community, but I'm also aware that our place there is not something everyone agrees on and that sucks because it means I can't expect to be validated in LGBT spaces, and today was an example of that.

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Do you masturbate?



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"healthy relationships"

So a weird thing happened today:

Right now I am at a new university as an exchange student and all new students there had to participate in a workshop called "healthy relationships." since I live in student housing, I figured that it makes sense, because we are basically interacting all the time when we are in common areas. So when I walked into the room, I thought that we would learn more about healthy everyday relationship dynamics, but boy, was I wrong.
We exclusively talked about sexual relationships and consent and I agree that it is very important. But for me as an asexual sex averse person, it would have been great to get a heads up. I was completely unprepared and it was so so weird for me and it took me so long to adjust to the situation...
Just choosing another name would have sufficed for me to know what to expect, but like this.... Honestly 🙄

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