Ending a long term relationship due to sexual incompatibility
We're both in our mid twenties and we were together for 4 and half years. And the decision was mutual, to my understanding.
Me being ace was always an issue since the beginning of our relationship, and we really tried to make it work but as he put it finally, "literally everything about our relationship is perfect, except for this". My worst fear and repeat of my last relationship.
Walking away from him was one of the hardest things I've done and I'm just so gutted. Despite having a lot of love for each other, the breakup was a mutual decision. I feel so awful, and so sad. I hate the way that I am, I hate that I couldn't satisfy him sexually. He doesn't deserve to be in a relationship where he has to constantly question if I desire him sexually or always has to initiate sex, and I'm trying to feel ok about telling myself that I deserve a relationship where I don't have to feel pressure to be a sexual being when it's just not in me to a be past a very small extent.
One thing he said in the end as we were crying in front of each other: "maybe I'm just not the right piece for your puzzle and you the same to me, but damn you are really close" literally sent me over the edge, I couldn't help but sob.
He said he wanted to still be friends but I just genuinely don't think I can just be friends with him, it would hurt too much.
I'm just so sad, I try to be ok and accepting to myself about being ace but right now I just hate it so much. I'm gonna call a therapist today for the first time.
Idk if any of this is coherent, and I'll probably delete later, but if you can relate or have anything to say that might help, please i could use anything.
https://redd.it/p1dqkf
@asexualityonreddit
We're both in our mid twenties and we were together for 4 and half years. And the decision was mutual, to my understanding.
Me being ace was always an issue since the beginning of our relationship, and we really tried to make it work but as he put it finally, "literally everything about our relationship is perfect, except for this". My worst fear and repeat of my last relationship.
Walking away from him was one of the hardest things I've done and I'm just so gutted. Despite having a lot of love for each other, the breakup was a mutual decision. I feel so awful, and so sad. I hate the way that I am, I hate that I couldn't satisfy him sexually. He doesn't deserve to be in a relationship where he has to constantly question if I desire him sexually or always has to initiate sex, and I'm trying to feel ok about telling myself that I deserve a relationship where I don't have to feel pressure to be a sexual being when it's just not in me to a be past a very small extent.
One thing he said in the end as we were crying in front of each other: "maybe I'm just not the right piece for your puzzle and you the same to me, but damn you are really close" literally sent me over the edge, I couldn't help but sob.
He said he wanted to still be friends but I just genuinely don't think I can just be friends with him, it would hurt too much.
I'm just so sad, I try to be ok and accepting to myself about being ace but right now I just hate it so much. I'm gonna call a therapist today for the first time.
Idk if any of this is coherent, and I'll probably delete later, but if you can relate or have anything to say that might help, please i could use anything.
https://redd.it/p1dqkf
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Ending a long term relationship due to sexual incompatibility
We're both in our mid twenties and we were together for 4 and half years. And the decision was mutual, to my understanding. Me being ace was...
omg i was just informed im gonna d!3 a virgin if im asexual😟- like no sh!t sherlock???😭
https://redd.it/p1ftzh
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/p1ftzh
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
omg i was just informed im gonna d!3 a virgin if im asexual😟- like...
Posted in r/Asexual by u/Cringythingys • 46 points and 22 comments
Acephobic “uncle”
When I was just going into high school my “uncle” (close family friend but not blood related, he lived with us at the time) kept joking with me about dating boys and having crushes etc. He joked with me about a lot of different things pretty often so for me his jokes just got annoying so I told him “I probably won’t have a boyfriend because I don’t really want one and I’m asexual”.
(I was BARELY learning about different terms etc but I knew asexuals didn’t like sex and that’s how I felt at the time but I used the term lightly since I was young)
My “uncle” then responded with “HAHA “asexual” you’re too young trust me you’ll wanna be involved with someone” then followed that up with “asexuals like to reproduce with themselves you know that right?!” (An actual idiot) I laughed and said “yeah okay” and just went to my room.
I told my dad what happened when he got home and they had a fight bc my “uncle’s” first comment was extremely inappropriate and his second one my dad got mad at him for not letting me be who I want and making it a joke/telling me a lie.
So fast forward to the end of freshman year my uncle has continuously made fun of me for being asexual, he would make comments when having guy friends over, one time in front of a whole group of friends saying things like “watch out she’s sleepin alone tonight” .. I’m 14 dude ofc I’m sleeping alone wtf.
Freshman summer he got kicked out bc he would always make me uncomfortable and he started to disrespect my family and my dad got in fights with him often so he gave him the boot, thankfully lol
If you read all that thank you for reading about my experience! Sorry it was so long, my dad had mentioned him earlier in passing and it made me think about it so I thought maybe if I make a vent post I’ll move on for the night lol.
https://redd.it/p1jmwj
@asexualityonreddit
When I was just going into high school my “uncle” (close family friend but not blood related, he lived with us at the time) kept joking with me about dating boys and having crushes etc. He joked with me about a lot of different things pretty often so for me his jokes just got annoying so I told him “I probably won’t have a boyfriend because I don’t really want one and I’m asexual”.
(I was BARELY learning about different terms etc but I knew asexuals didn’t like sex and that’s how I felt at the time but I used the term lightly since I was young)
My “uncle” then responded with “HAHA “asexual” you’re too young trust me you’ll wanna be involved with someone” then followed that up with “asexuals like to reproduce with themselves you know that right?!” (An actual idiot) I laughed and said “yeah okay” and just went to my room.
I told my dad what happened when he got home and they had a fight bc my “uncle’s” first comment was extremely inappropriate and his second one my dad got mad at him for not letting me be who I want and making it a joke/telling me a lie.
So fast forward to the end of freshman year my uncle has continuously made fun of me for being asexual, he would make comments when having guy friends over, one time in front of a whole group of friends saying things like “watch out she’s sleepin alone tonight” .. I’m 14 dude ofc I’m sleeping alone wtf.
Freshman summer he got kicked out bc he would always make me uncomfortable and he started to disrespect my family and my dad got in fights with him often so he gave him the boot, thankfully lol
If you read all that thank you for reading about my experience! Sorry it was so long, my dad had mentioned him earlier in passing and it made me think about it so I thought maybe if I make a vent post I’ll move on for the night lol.
https://redd.it/p1jmwj
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Acephobic “uncle”
When I was just going into high school my “uncle” (close family friend but not blood related, he lived with us at the time) kept joking with me...
r/AskReddit is a cesspool.
jesus.
every (single) day, i come across at least one post on that god forsaken sub along the lines of, "Redditors who have had sex, what's the sexiest sex you've ever sexed? Details pls. [SERIOUS\]."
it's exhausting. and i know most people, ace or allo, aren't so consumed by cavorting around in their own sexual misadventures, but it feels like it's nonstop on this site. isn't that what r/AskRedditAfterDark is for?
i don't know.
https://redd.it/p1j61g
@asexualityonreddit
jesus.
every (single) day, i come across at least one post on that god forsaken sub along the lines of, "Redditors who have had sex, what's the sexiest sex you've ever sexed? Details pls. [SERIOUS\]."
it's exhausting. and i know most people, ace or allo, aren't so consumed by cavorting around in their own sexual misadventures, but it feels like it's nonstop on this site. isn't that what r/AskRedditAfterDark is for?
i don't know.
https://redd.it/p1j61g
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
r/AskReddit is a cesspool.
jesus. every (single) day, i come across at least one post on that god forsaken sub along the lines of, "Redditors who have had sex, what's the...
What’s the difference between romantic and platonic relationships?
Whenever I ask other people they always say something along the lines of sexual exclusivity.
But, I don’t think that’s right at all.
Help a fellow human out pls
https://redd.it/p1lkxr
@asexualityonreddit
Whenever I ask other people they always say something along the lines of sexual exclusivity.
But, I don’t think that’s right at all.
Help a fellow human out pls
https://redd.it/p1lkxr
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
What’s the difference between romantic and platonic relationships?
Whenever I ask other people they always say something along the lines of sexual exclusivity. But, I don’t think that’s right at all. Help a...
Anyone else shocked to find out demisexual wasn't the norm?
So for some context, I'm asexual and sex-averse. I'm not sure about my romantic orientation, but I don't think I'm aro.
I discovered asexuality a couple of months ago and it didn't take me long to realise this was me. I was reading about all the identities on the asexual spectrum and I was shocked to find out that demisexual was on the list. I guess I just assumed that's how sexual attraction felt to most people? I knew I could never feel it, but I thought most people could only feel it after being in a strong emotional bond with someone, and it kinda made me feel at odds to find this wasn't true. I knew there were people who can just have sex with anyone they think looks hot, but I thought that was just hypersexual people. I never realised that allos, your everyday man on the street, felt that way too.
As a sex-averse person it kinda unnerved me because I've often thought of sex as a quite obscene act and to suddenly find out that the world was so sex-oriented really confused me. For a while I felt very at odds with the world, although I couldn't really work out why. I knew I was asexual and therefore different, but I didn't realise just how different. To find out that demi - what I had assumed regular sexual attraction was - was actually an asexual identity was a big discovery.
I couldn't understand why someone would want to put that up there (or vice versa) without knowing them intimately first? After all, it is possibly the most intimate thing you can do and to do it to a stranger is... shivers.
Anyway, anyone else had similar experiences and a similar revelation? I'd be really interested to know.
https://redd.it/p1ms1z
@asexualityonreddit
So for some context, I'm asexual and sex-averse. I'm not sure about my romantic orientation, but I don't think I'm aro.
I discovered asexuality a couple of months ago and it didn't take me long to realise this was me. I was reading about all the identities on the asexual spectrum and I was shocked to find out that demisexual was on the list. I guess I just assumed that's how sexual attraction felt to most people? I knew I could never feel it, but I thought most people could only feel it after being in a strong emotional bond with someone, and it kinda made me feel at odds to find this wasn't true. I knew there were people who can just have sex with anyone they think looks hot, but I thought that was just hypersexual people. I never realised that allos, your everyday man on the street, felt that way too.
As a sex-averse person it kinda unnerved me because I've often thought of sex as a quite obscene act and to suddenly find out that the world was so sex-oriented really confused me. For a while I felt very at odds with the world, although I couldn't really work out why. I knew I was asexual and therefore different, but I didn't realise just how different. To find out that demi - what I had assumed regular sexual attraction was - was actually an asexual identity was a big discovery.
I couldn't understand why someone would want to put that up there (or vice versa) without knowing them intimately first? After all, it is possibly the most intimate thing you can do and to do it to a stranger is... shivers.
Anyway, anyone else had similar experiences and a similar revelation? I'd be really interested to know.
https://redd.it/p1ms1z
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Anyone else shocked to find out demisexual wasn't the norm?
So for some context, I'm asexual and sex-averse. I'm not sure about my romantic orientation, but I don't think I'm aro. I discovered asexuality...
Whether you're sex-repulsed or not, you're all hecking valid ;)
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@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/p1jwcx
@asexualityonreddit
“A hot girl wants to meet you” okay?? I’m trying to watch shrek 2 leave me alone
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@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/p1l5bc
@asexualityonreddit
In Rehoboth Beach Delaware there is an ice cream shop with a flavor called Better Than Sex. But let's be honest, anything is better than sex.
https://redd.it/p1vid4
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/p1vid4
@asexualityonreddit