It’s bad enough I don’t have any interest in dating right now
https://redd.it/1pt23bc
@asexualityonreddit

I love dragons
https://redd.it/1psyfvg
@asexualityonreddit

It’s bad enough I don’t want to date right now
https://redd.it/1pt21zi
@asexualityonreddit

How did yk u were asexual

I have never had any serious relationship beyond romantic feelings that never got anywhere, and even in those situations I just never felt attraction to them in the sense where I’d actually wanna physically do something with them beyond handholding, kissing and hugging. I’m not sure if I’m just young with no experience since I’ve never actually done anything but the thought of me actually having sex especially penetration makes me feel not uncomfortable but just icky but idk if that’s just my inexperience talking or bc I may be asexual bc I’m not against sexual things I js don’t feel much sexual desire when it comes to ppl especially those ik like I’ll say stuff for example ab an actor i find attractive but I js would never wanna actually do those things but I don’t wanna label anything bc I’m younger n think I can find room to explore my feelings more but I js thought id come here to ask anyone how they knew they were asexual?

https://redd.it/1pt702u
@asexualityonreddit

Just how I like it
https://redd.it/1pt8cgi
@asexualityonreddit

Asexual loading…
https://redd.it/1pt8zvp
@asexualityonreddit

Some of you are unbearably normative about relationships, tbh.

I've noticed in this sub that when the topic of relationship boundaries comes up, the comments often trend extremely hetero/allonormative. Maybe it's just because the communities I'm in elsewhere online and irl just don't adhere to those norms, but it's baffling to me every time to see it here, of all places.

The types of things I usually see said boil down to basically "you should let your partner dictate your boundaries with other people". Not phrased so bluntly, of course, but a very typical "That's Only Okay If Your Partner Is Comfortable" kind of sentiment, never examining or acknowledging whether it's reasonable for the partner to be uncomfortable in the first place. I've seen people argue on multiple occasions that touch that is neither romantic nor sexual is disrespectful to a partner. I've seen a fair bit of negativity towards platonic intimacy, particularly if one or both friends are otherwise romantically entangled with someone.

It is the same to me as telling a girl she shouldn't have male friends if her boyfriend doesn't like it. He should learn how to be comfortable with it instead of barring her from having those friendships; I feel the same way about platonic intimacy. A romantic partner should learn to get comfortable with the other person's platonic relationships, not demand that they change them. Unlearn the insecurity instead of catering to it.



I also think a vital part of asexual and aromantic advocacy is dismantling allonormativity. Not just destroying the idea that sex and romance are necessary, but also ideas about what defines a relationship to begin with. I don't think it's helpful to anyone to continue regurgitating the standard that other relationships should be pushed to the back burner if you have a partner, or that intimacy in other relationships must be withdrawn for a partner's sake. It's sad to see, especially as someone in a very committed relationship where our friendships are still physically affectionate and vitally important.

https://redd.it/1pt8ph0
@asexualityonreddit

I made a lil tier list based on some ace rep!
https://redd.it/1ptdf7b
@asexualityonreddit

My boyfriend thinks he might be ace

Recently with my boyfriend we were talking about some stuff, and recently he's comming to a conclusion where he thinks he could be asexual or somewhere in that spectrum, as a joke I told him that if he want confident in his own assesment I could try to summon the asexual counsil of Reddit, and he actually liked the idea to maybe read from the lived experiences of others, and since he does not have a Reddit account he asked me to use mine and try to translate (he does not speak English and I don't really like most LGBTQA+ subreddits on our home language as they tend to be weirdly phobic) and so I'll try to point by point give his toughts and hope the counsil can help more than me, the boring allo can

1)He's seldom in the mood for fun time: As he points to It, he rarely wants to do stuff, while he does find me atractive (yay) he rarely feels like doing so, recently he's been a little more interested but as we began dating (6 years now) he struggled a lot to even consider the idea and mellowed to It as he got closer (I'm thinking maybe demisexual)

2) He finds me and other men atractive but does not like to think about himself doing stuff: I tried explaining that one thing its thinking some people are atractive and other Is thinking you can then in your bedroom, I guess due to culture he's struggling with that part

3) He's enjoyed It before: Like I said he does not often want to do something but when he does he enjoys It and so he feels It might invalidate the idea of being asexual, I don't think It does, or at the very least might put him somewhere in the spectrum thats not allo itself, tough I don't really think I have the language to explain It beyond a food alegory, as if he most of the time does not like pie but every now and then a specific slice of pie Is appealing enough to enjoy, it does not negate that he usually does not like pie

Mainly these are his toughts with some of my own toughts about it, I dont try to label him but if he does find any label around this confirting I think at the very least I should try and help him understand what I can.

https://redd.it/1ptfeu1
@asexualityonreddit

no not that
https://redd.it/1ptihxu
@asexualityonreddit

Hard To Date

Not super mad rn cuz what happened was reasonable, but I just gotta vent my thoughts of frustration 😭

Lately, I've been wanting to try dating again but haven't really looked since I know how small the pool is. Its just a difficulty I dont want to bother with

But I went to walmart last night (10pm) with some family and someone asked for my number. They were chill and I knew they were lgbtq. So they gave me their number, I texted em when I got home. We talked a bit last night to like 2am.

Today, we talked a bit more and I decided one moment was a good time to bring up relationship non-negotiables. A good way to say what no's we have and that im ace

I kind of had a hard time bringing up the ace detail, started with my thing w/ dogs & then moving out of the US. They were chill with those and talked a bit more about sexuality. So I mentioned I was ace

Immediately uninterested 💀
They told me they've got ace friends tho. Like, cool, guess that means I'm with them now lol

But it is just draining to think that SO MANY people care that much about sex. That they cant live without it
Like, why cant people just touch themselves?? Idk, I just seriously cant wrap my head around it.

They also said they wish they knew sooner 🤨🤨🤨
We barely started talking 24 hours ago, mate. Wtf you mean SOONER? 😭💀
I was scared to say it and I gave myself the opportunity to. That was a good time to say it, like what
Thats the part that mostly irked me tbh

But yeah, no hate to them. Just can get irritating sometimes

https://redd.it/1ptnitp
@asexualityonreddit

“Yeah, I’m ace how could you tell?” My shoes:

https://redd.it/1ptrajq
@asexualityonreddit

Im accused of flirting constantly, and its exhausting

I dont have a lot of friends, to preface, and im super awkward. Not that im not friendly, just thay I dont talk to strangers.

Whenever I leave an event that I believe went well, my friends bring up that the other people think im flirtatious. Im very careful to not hug or touch people, so im not understanding what is considered flirting. I barely talk to anyone.

I cant control others perceptions, but im thinking its a hetero normative social queue. People think im pursuing others sexually when im ace and it frustrates me. Im not sure what im doing.

Anyone else have this misunderstanding?

https://redd.it/1ptqgzv
@asexualityonreddit

I'm curious about what kind of ace is most common here

I'm nosey and want to know where everyone leans 👀 (I myself am Indifferent).
Elaboration's optional- ~~I'm not gonna~~ I may or may not burn down your garlic bread stash.

View Poll

https://redd.it/1ptm0ee
@asexualityonreddit

I am so, so, tired of questioning my asexuality

I first suspected that I might be on the aroace spectrum when I was 13, and now I am 18 and I still don’t know the answer.

I know I’ve only became an adult and I shouldn’t be worrying about this topic so much, and I’ve tried to hard to let it go and just go with the flow, but I just can’t get over it.

I sometimes find it “hot” when a good relationship is portrayed in media, and I also read fan fiction that I may or may not be old enough to read back then. But I am only interested when the romantic/sexual interactions were between characters, when I am not one of them. I cannot stand the thought of me being one of them.

But there has also been some rare occasions where I question if I would actually be okay with it if one of them were me, but I also cannot tell if that counts as real sexual attraction since it seems fakey when I compare it to what allo people describe.

Just recently I managed to accidentally get myself into a situationship for the first time ever, and I have decided to stay in it for a while to give things a try. They’re a really nice person and I love talking to them. I think the flirty message they send to me give me butterflies, and for some moments I think I might actually want a relationship with them, but other times the thought of doing the stuff they flirt about makes me sick to the stomach. I think I should tell them about how I may be on the aroace spectrum because it’s not fair for them when they think I fully like them back. I feel like I should figure it out a little more before I tell them because I feel so bad and I don’t want to confuse them.


I’m just so so done with questioning what I want and what I am capable of feeling every day, it’s driving me insane

https://redd.it/1pttuf9
@asexualityonreddit