Sensitive images in pride subreddits
Dear community, I ask for your advice in a certain matter. Over at r/nonbinary I suggested to please put a spoiler on pictures that show people in underwear. I'm not completely sex averse but I really dislike seeing strangers in underwear in my everyday feed. Almost all comments so far alienate and berate me to not be so sensible.
How are your thoughts on that issue?
https://redd.it/1pd6ue2
@asexualityonreddit
Dear community, I ask for your advice in a certain matter. Over at r/nonbinary I suggested to please put a spoiler on pictures that show people in underwear. I'm not completely sex averse but I really dislike seeing strangers in underwear in my everyday feed. Almost all comments so far alienate and berate me to not be so sensible.
How are your thoughts on that issue?
https://redd.it/1pd6ue2
@asexualityonreddit
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Lol almost got me questioning...almost
Really REALLY wasn't sure what to tag this. Basically I compulsively pick at my scabs to the point where my arms are an art gallery of different colored scars. I have long suspected either dermatillomania or that it's some sort of self harm(I've had severe depression for more than half my life) anyway I decided to look it up today and see if it is a common form of self harm and saw that it's commonly associated with a disease called PWS(Prader-Willi Syndrome) I looked this up and saw that a common side effect of PWS is lack of sexual development/maturity so I looked it up and....nope it's caused by chromosome 15 not working properly which causes a hormone imbalance. Besides me not having literally ANY other symptoms(ravenous hunger which often causes obesity, poor infantile muscle tone, and developmental delays in other areas) I also have had my hormones tested for other medical reasons and I'm completely normal for someone my age, gender weight, height, etc. but it ALMOST had me questioning if I was really ace.
https://redd.it/1pd8phw
@asexualityonreddit
Really REALLY wasn't sure what to tag this. Basically I compulsively pick at my scabs to the point where my arms are an art gallery of different colored scars. I have long suspected either dermatillomania or that it's some sort of self harm(I've had severe depression for more than half my life) anyway I decided to look it up today and see if it is a common form of self harm and saw that it's commonly associated with a disease called PWS(Prader-Willi Syndrome) I looked this up and saw that a common side effect of PWS is lack of sexual development/maturity so I looked it up and....nope it's caused by chromosome 15 not working properly which causes a hormone imbalance. Besides me not having literally ANY other symptoms(ravenous hunger which often causes obesity, poor infantile muscle tone, and developmental delays in other areas) I also have had my hormones tested for other medical reasons and I'm completely normal for someone my age, gender weight, height, etc. but it ALMOST had me questioning if I was really ace.
https://redd.it/1pd8phw
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How do I get people to understand that I don't experience crushes?
Yesterday I was having a conversation with my sister's boyfriend and randomly the subject of my sexuality came up. He asked if I liked boys or girls and I just told him no for both. He and my sister apparently believe im gay and have a secret massive crush on a friend of mine. I told him I have never experienced having a crush in my entire life and a definitely do not have one for my friend. He basically told me im in denial. It made me uncomfortable that not just him but also my sister think this stuff about me.
He looked at me insane when I told I have never had a crush in my life. And tbh it hurt. It happened yesterday and I still cant get it out of my head due to how adamant he was on me being in denial and the look he gave me. It reminds me of the time I told a classmate I had never had a crush and they told me they were genuinely scared of me and looked at me like I was insane.
How do I get people to understand that sometimes people just dont experience crushes? How do I get them to understand that it makes me uncomfortable to even assume that im in love with someone especially a friend?
https://redd.it/1pd9a5e
@asexualityonreddit
Yesterday I was having a conversation with my sister's boyfriend and randomly the subject of my sexuality came up. He asked if I liked boys or girls and I just told him no for both. He and my sister apparently believe im gay and have a secret massive crush on a friend of mine. I told him I have never experienced having a crush in my entire life and a definitely do not have one for my friend. He basically told me im in denial. It made me uncomfortable that not just him but also my sister think this stuff about me.
He looked at me insane when I told I have never had a crush in my life. And tbh it hurt. It happened yesterday and I still cant get it out of my head due to how adamant he was on me being in denial and the look he gave me. It reminds me of the time I told a classmate I had never had a crush and they told me they were genuinely scared of me and looked at me like I was insane.
How do I get people to understand that sometimes people just dont experience crushes? How do I get them to understand that it makes me uncomfortable to even assume that im in love with someone especially a friend?
https://redd.it/1pd9a5e
@asexualityonreddit
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I don’t think he knows that I am Ace but look at what my Grandpa wore at my birthday.
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@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1pdc15p
@asexualityonreddit
On which finger and which hand does the ACE ring go?
I was finally able to get the ring, and I think it goes on the middle finger, but I'm not so sure if I'm right.
https://redd.it/1pde72w
@asexualityonreddit
I was finally able to get the ring, and I think it goes on the middle finger, but I'm not so sure if I'm right.
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Are You Aro (Advice)?
**Hi everyone!**
Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.
**Do any of these resonate with you?**
\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.
\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.
\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.
\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.
These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.
\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!
* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)
* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)
* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)
https://redd.it/1pdhw66
@asexualityonreddit
**Hi everyone!**
Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.
**Do any of these resonate with you?**
\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.
\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.
\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.
\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.
These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.
\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!
* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)
* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)
* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)
https://redd.it/1pdhw66
@asexualityonreddit
I am a baby trans NB asexual that is still earning money through sex, do I still fall under the Asexual umbrella even though I do it out of necessity?
I’m 19nb asexual that just recently realized that I’m asexual. I have been doing lots of sex and sex related things for some good money for about almost 2 years now for person financial reasons, and for the complicated bit: I don’t really feel any pleasure when having sex. It’s been more of a thing that I do.
I either do sex things for the money or for free as a form of endearment to a possible partner or someone close to that.
With all the information that I’ve laid out, am I welcomed here?
Note: this is my first post on here so please point out any of my mistakes please
https://redd.it/1pdgrhu
@asexualityonreddit
I’m 19nb asexual that just recently realized that I’m asexual. I have been doing lots of sex and sex related things for some good money for about almost 2 years now for person financial reasons, and for the complicated bit: I don’t really feel any pleasure when having sex. It’s been more of a thing that I do.
I either do sex things for the money or for free as a form of endearment to a possible partner or someone close to that.
With all the information that I’ve laid out, am I welcomed here?
Note: this is my first post on here so please point out any of my mistakes please
https://redd.it/1pdgrhu
@asexualityonreddit
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Annoyed with freaky topics
Does anyone else get annoyed when someone is overly freaky, or shares their sex life out of nowhere? I was having a conversation with someone, and they randomly brought up how they take it up the ass
https://redd.it/1pdjquz
@asexualityonreddit
Does anyone else get annoyed when someone is overly freaky, or shares their sex life out of nowhere? I was having a conversation with someone, and they randomly brought up how they take it up the ass
https://redd.it/1pdjquz
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Y’all! I think I might be on the edge of conclusion that i believe that i am on the asexual spectrum (greysexual)!
I have been thinking a lot on how i feel about it and my past to see if it’s enough to prove that i’m at least greysexual! I probably have experienced sexual attraction only twice and that’s it! I can’t really tell if it was true sexual attraction but i remember once saying “we would make kids and i’ll name them this and that” with a celebrity that i had a crush on at that time! I probably have said that just as a joke or i did it mainly for getting to the names part! And the other time i do truely think i actually did experience sexual attraction to where i saw a shirtless celebrity and i literally said out of nowhere to myself “wow i would smash him”! And those were my past thoughts and i had a huge feeling that this whole time i have thought i was sexually attracted to both gurls and boys and thought i was bi because i would get aroused and be masturbating on them but it just turns out that that whole time it was actually aesthetic attraction i was experiencing and masturbation is not considered sexual attraction either and that now got me thinking if that could mean that i am asexual or at least on the spectrum and i think i am getting a bit confident! I am still trying to find it more convincing since i feel like i don’t even act like an asexual myself since i was very dirty minded and masturbated a lot in the past but i also feel like what if everyone else who is a non asexual could be the same as me where they would not always say that they would smash them or want to after finding them aesthetically attractive but what do you think? Am i still welcomed into the community?
https://redd.it/1pdnjax
@asexualityonreddit
I have been thinking a lot on how i feel about it and my past to see if it’s enough to prove that i’m at least greysexual! I probably have experienced sexual attraction only twice and that’s it! I can’t really tell if it was true sexual attraction but i remember once saying “we would make kids and i’ll name them this and that” with a celebrity that i had a crush on at that time! I probably have said that just as a joke or i did it mainly for getting to the names part! And the other time i do truely think i actually did experience sexual attraction to where i saw a shirtless celebrity and i literally said out of nowhere to myself “wow i would smash him”! And those were my past thoughts and i had a huge feeling that this whole time i have thought i was sexually attracted to both gurls and boys and thought i was bi because i would get aroused and be masturbating on them but it just turns out that that whole time it was actually aesthetic attraction i was experiencing and masturbation is not considered sexual attraction either and that now got me thinking if that could mean that i am asexual or at least on the spectrum and i think i am getting a bit confident! I am still trying to find it more convincing since i feel like i don’t even act like an asexual myself since i was very dirty minded and masturbated a lot in the past but i also feel like what if everyone else who is a non asexual could be the same as me where they would not always say that they would smash them or want to after finding them aesthetically attractive but what do you think? Am i still welcomed into the community?
https://redd.it/1pdnjax
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Am i actually ace?
So I’ve always thought I was ace or at least in the gray area of it. I don’t have interest in dating or romance and a lot of the time I things it’s kinda gross to look at, no offense to anyone out there who’s in love lol. But at the same time I crave to just be like held and stuff. I have no desire for anything past friendly like hugs and cuddling but I feel like I’m the only one like this. I still have “me time” when it comes to sexual stuff but I never had or have the desire to have someone else be apart of it. Does this make me not ace? Am I something else entirely that I’ve never heard of? I don’t exactly take the time to like research all the different stuff regarding sexuality so I kinda just asked some friends who said they thought I was ace and I just went with it. I’m not big on labels but I feel like when people ask why I’m single and not looking to date that I should have some kind of explanation besides I don’t feel like it. I always get the response, “but you’re so pretty!” And “You shouldn’t have such low self esteem” when that has nothing to do with it.
https://redd.it/1pdo4du
@asexualityonreddit
So I’ve always thought I was ace or at least in the gray area of it. I don’t have interest in dating or romance and a lot of the time I things it’s kinda gross to look at, no offense to anyone out there who’s in love lol. But at the same time I crave to just be like held and stuff. I have no desire for anything past friendly like hugs and cuddling but I feel like I’m the only one like this. I still have “me time” when it comes to sexual stuff but I never had or have the desire to have someone else be apart of it. Does this make me not ace? Am I something else entirely that I’ve never heard of? I don’t exactly take the time to like research all the different stuff regarding sexuality so I kinda just asked some friends who said they thought I was ace and I just went with it. I’m not big on labels but I feel like when people ask why I’m single and not looking to date that I should have some kind of explanation besides I don’t feel like it. I always get the response, “but you’re so pretty!” And “You shouldn’t have such low self esteem” when that has nothing to do with it.
https://redd.it/1pdo4du
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Do you get wet dreams as an ace?
Im just wondering as me myself i havent had one ever and im 21M ive been aroace most of my life (since i was 10) so im wondering if thats the cause because i keep hearing people having them
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@asexualityonreddit
Im just wondering as me myself i havent had one ever and im 21M ive been aroace most of my life (since i was 10) so im wondering if thats the cause because i keep hearing people having them
https://redd.it/1pdtbbu
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Research
Hello! We are conducting a qualitative research study about the lived experiences of asexual individuals.
Our goal is to understand how asexual people make sense of their identity, navigate relationships, and experience support or challenges in society.
We want to ensure that our research is respectful, safe, and inclusive.
If you identify as asexual (ace)—whether aromantic, gray-asexual, demisexual, or anywhere on the asexual spectrum—we would greatly appreciate hearing about your experiences.
Why We’re Doing This Study
Asexual identities are often misunderstood or overlooked. Through this research, we hope to give voice to the real experiences of asexual individuals and promote awareness, understanding, and acceptance.
Your Safety and Comfort
Your participation is completely voluntary.
You may choose to skip any question or stop at any time, no explanation needed.
Your identity will be kept confidential or anonymous, depending on what you prefer.
There are no right or wrong answers — only your personal experiences.
What the Interview Will Be Like
The interview will be a casual, respectful conversation.
Here are examples of the type of questions we may ask:
What experiences helped you understand your asexual identity?
How do you navigate romantic, sexual, or platonic relationships?
In what ways do society or culture affect your experiences as an asexual individual?
What forms of support help you cope with challenges related to identity or relationships?
Who Can Join
Anyone who identifies anywhere on the asexual spectrum, regardless of age, gender, or romantic orientation.
If You’re Interested
Please message us directly or comment below, and we will reach out privately to schedule the interview.
Thank you for considering being part of our study.
Your voice and story matter. ❤️
https://redd.it/1pdxhip
@asexualityonreddit
Hello! We are conducting a qualitative research study about the lived experiences of asexual individuals.
Our goal is to understand how asexual people make sense of their identity, navigate relationships, and experience support or challenges in society.
We want to ensure that our research is respectful, safe, and inclusive.
If you identify as asexual (ace)—whether aromantic, gray-asexual, demisexual, or anywhere on the asexual spectrum—we would greatly appreciate hearing about your experiences.
Why We’re Doing This Study
Asexual identities are often misunderstood or overlooked. Through this research, we hope to give voice to the real experiences of asexual individuals and promote awareness, understanding, and acceptance.
Your Safety and Comfort
Your participation is completely voluntary.
You may choose to skip any question or stop at any time, no explanation needed.
Your identity will be kept confidential or anonymous, depending on what you prefer.
There are no right or wrong answers — only your personal experiences.
What the Interview Will Be Like
The interview will be a casual, respectful conversation.
Here are examples of the type of questions we may ask:
What experiences helped you understand your asexual identity?
How do you navigate romantic, sexual, or platonic relationships?
In what ways do society or culture affect your experiences as an asexual individual?
What forms of support help you cope with challenges related to identity or relationships?
Who Can Join
Anyone who identifies anywhere on the asexual spectrum, regardless of age, gender, or romantic orientation.
If You’re Interested
Please message us directly or comment below, and we will reach out privately to schedule the interview.
Thank you for considering being part of our study.
Your voice and story matter. ❤️
https://redd.it/1pdxhip
@asexualityonreddit
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confession time! I don't think I'm ace anymore
so, I thought I was ace for the longest time, my reason being I just could not imagine myself in that kind of situation with anybody. at all. but, well, I was the wrong gender back then. now that, instead of a guy, I am imaging myself as a girl in those situations, it's just... a lot easier to imagine something like that and like it
https://redd.it/1pdzui8
@asexualityonreddit
so, I thought I was ace for the longest time, my reason being I just could not imagine myself in that kind of situation with anybody. at all. but, well, I was the wrong gender back then. now that, instead of a guy, I am imaging myself as a girl in those situations, it's just... a lot easier to imagine something like that and like it
https://redd.it/1pdzui8
@asexualityonreddit
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Am I attracted to the guy I have been dating
I have been seeing a guy for about 3 months. I am pretty confident I am asexual, as I have never really been interested in physical appearances, and the thought of sex repulses me.
A few weeks ago I told him I was ace, and would never do anything sexual. He said he is completely fine with that.
I care about him so much, and I am very attracted to his personality.
I dont know if I am attracted to him aesthetically. How do I know?
This is my first relationship, so I have never felt any of these feelings before.
When he properly smiles its like a net curtain has been lifted, and I genuinely think he is beautiful. But a lot of the time I just dont feel anything to him physically.
He really likes me, and I feel like he is into me a lot more than I am into him, but I really love his personality and who he is.
I can picture being with him in the future.
I love being close to him, cuddling and stuff, but the idea of sex and kissing repulses me.
I cant tell if im just feeling this because I am in very unchartered territory.
Am I just ace, do I just not like him or am I scared because its all new?
https://redd.it/1pe0hwn
@asexualityonreddit
I have been seeing a guy for about 3 months. I am pretty confident I am asexual, as I have never really been interested in physical appearances, and the thought of sex repulses me.
A few weeks ago I told him I was ace, and would never do anything sexual. He said he is completely fine with that.
I care about him so much, and I am very attracted to his personality.
I dont know if I am attracted to him aesthetically. How do I know?
This is my first relationship, so I have never felt any of these feelings before.
When he properly smiles its like a net curtain has been lifted, and I genuinely think he is beautiful. But a lot of the time I just dont feel anything to him physically.
He really likes me, and I feel like he is into me a lot more than I am into him, but I really love his personality and who he is.
I can picture being with him in the future.
I love being close to him, cuddling and stuff, but the idea of sex and kissing repulses me.
I cant tell if im just feeling this because I am in very unchartered territory.
Am I just ace, do I just not like him or am I scared because its all new?
https://redd.it/1pe0hwn
@asexualityonreddit
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How to survive this..
Has anyone ever told you asexual, and all other terms under that, are fake? My own partner told me it’s all fake. I know he is having trouble and pain due to me experiencing no sexual attraction or desire. This is due to his forceful ways of affection towards me. He hates when I say no or not right now..It’s just too much. I feel like his attraction towards me is making me feel uncomfortable and even repulsed. Over seven years of me trying to explain my feelings, instead of being kind and patient, he lashes out and bullies me. Even in front of our kids. The older I get, I feel like living a slower more peaceful life and his sexual demands got too overwhelming. A few days ago, he brought it up randomly and aggressively in front of the kids. Asking why I don’t want affection or touching. It got pretty ugly and I panicked and went outside and he followed me, he kept saying I need a doctor and being asexual is fake. I had to cover my ears and started crying and he just wouldn’t stop. He even put on his snap that it’s weird not having a wife anymore. He wants sympathy for me not meeting his needs. Over that many years, it’s made me feel worthless. Because I know how to express myself in a kind and calm manner but he won’t do the same for me. But he constantly finds ways to excuse his behavior. It’s totally my fault because my feelings of any romance or sexuality are gone. I don’t even feel attracted to anyone or experience desire, at all. I’ve always been ‘different’ so guys found me attractive and interesting. But now, at almost 40, I would rather be single forever. I also have sensory issues. And my kids are everything to me, I want to raise them to be kind. Sorry for venting, only three of my closest family know what’s going on. Therapy is my next step.
https://redd.it/1pe590s
@asexualityonreddit
Has anyone ever told you asexual, and all other terms under that, are fake? My own partner told me it’s all fake. I know he is having trouble and pain due to me experiencing no sexual attraction or desire. This is due to his forceful ways of affection towards me. He hates when I say no or not right now..It’s just too much. I feel like his attraction towards me is making me feel uncomfortable and even repulsed. Over seven years of me trying to explain my feelings, instead of being kind and patient, he lashes out and bullies me. Even in front of our kids. The older I get, I feel like living a slower more peaceful life and his sexual demands got too overwhelming. A few days ago, he brought it up randomly and aggressively in front of the kids. Asking why I don’t want affection or touching. It got pretty ugly and I panicked and went outside and he followed me, he kept saying I need a doctor and being asexual is fake. I had to cover my ears and started crying and he just wouldn’t stop. He even put on his snap that it’s weird not having a wife anymore. He wants sympathy for me not meeting his needs. Over that many years, it’s made me feel worthless. Because I know how to express myself in a kind and calm manner but he won’t do the same for me. But he constantly finds ways to excuse his behavior. It’s totally my fault because my feelings of any romance or sexuality are gone. I don’t even feel attracted to anyone or experience desire, at all. I’ve always been ‘different’ so guys found me attractive and interesting. But now, at almost 40, I would rather be single forever. I also have sensory issues. And my kids are everything to me, I want to raise them to be kind. Sorry for venting, only three of my closest family know what’s going on. Therapy is my next step.
https://redd.it/1pe590s
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Sex is always either negative or neutral for me. Does that make me ace?
I’ve always known I have a very low sex drive. 95% of the time, the idea of having sex is very unappealing to me. Maybe 5% of the time I am neutral about it (and will then have sex with my partner, lol). But I don’t remember any time since I was a horny 16 year old that I’ve actively WANTED to have sex.
I guess my question is… clearly this is not “normal”. But I’m wondering from you knowledgeable people if this sounds like it falls under the asexual umbrella?
https://redd.it/1pe6vzk
@asexualityonreddit
I’ve always known I have a very low sex drive. 95% of the time, the idea of having sex is very unappealing to me. Maybe 5% of the time I am neutral about it (and will then have sex with my partner, lol). But I don’t remember any time since I was a horny 16 year old that I’ve actively WANTED to have sex.
I guess my question is… clearly this is not “normal”. But I’m wondering from you knowledgeable people if this sounds like it falls under the asexual umbrella?
https://redd.it/1pe6vzk
@asexualityonreddit
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i have a crazy libido but i think i’m on the ace spectrum
so the title doesn’t even begin to summarize how jumbled my thoughts are rn. this will likely be long winded which might deter people from even reading but i just need to get this out.
not sure how important it is but i am 26 and afab. i have been insanely hypersexual since i was about 11/12, have no idea what caused it but i have been very, VERY horny for 14-15 years now. as early as i started experiencing sexual motivation, i would watch porn and found i was attracted to girls. i considered myself bisexual from about 12-18 because of this. i never had any relationships till i was 17, and it was with a then girl (now i think trans or nonbinary) and they happened to be asexual. i never found myself wanting sex with them and just never thought of it with them specifically and never experienced sexual attraction towards them anyway. i would still get off constantly and do things myself as i had already been doing.
my next relationship was with a lesbian and once again i never felt sexually attracted really, but i was deeply in love and romantically attracted which made me desire being close in a sexual way. some kind of demisexuality there maybe?
after that relationship (5years, stereotypical horrible sapphic breakup) i went a little crazy and got on the dating apps and started going on dates and hooking up with people. i got almost absolutely nothing out of any of that, and the sex i had was incomparable to the time i would spend with myself. however, this is where it gets even more complicated and annoying, because while the sex with the men was not very great, i still experienced sexual attraction to them?? and i still experience sexual attraction to them now, and see men on dating apps or celebrities that make my already crazy high libido even crazier, but when i really start thinking about it, if it came down to it i wouldn’t actually want to have sex with them. i don’t experience sexual attraction towards girls almost at all now which makes me wonder why i ever thought i was a lesbian from like 17-19.
i read a lot, a LOT of smut and still watch porn sometimes because of how high my sex drive is, and i enjoy it very much but i have never fully enjoyed actual sex, and sometimes during and ALWAYS after, i feel icky.
if anything i feel i can surmise i might be kind of demisexual when it comes to girls/non-men, though still it’s more about connection and being close than the actual attraction or sexual act. and with men, i experience high levels of attraction and sometimes do want sex but more often than not the idea of sex with anybody is extremely unappealing despite the fact that whatever is wrong with my body and my crazy high drive makes it seem like it should be the opposite. this is such a non-issue outside of my own brain and i’m sure some people would probably think i’m thinking wayyyy too much into this, but my sexuality and identity have painstakingly fluctuated for over a decade and i just want to understand myself better before i try to pursue a relationship again when maybe i shouldn’t. cause don’t even get me started on romantic attraction, i crave a relationship and read a shit ton of romance and fanfics but then once again, the idea of a relationship sometimes makes me cringe. i’m just so confused and i miss the days where i was simply just a cisgender bisexual girl.
https://redd.it/1pe7irh
@asexualityonreddit
so the title doesn’t even begin to summarize how jumbled my thoughts are rn. this will likely be long winded which might deter people from even reading but i just need to get this out.
not sure how important it is but i am 26 and afab. i have been insanely hypersexual since i was about 11/12, have no idea what caused it but i have been very, VERY horny for 14-15 years now. as early as i started experiencing sexual motivation, i would watch porn and found i was attracted to girls. i considered myself bisexual from about 12-18 because of this. i never had any relationships till i was 17, and it was with a then girl (now i think trans or nonbinary) and they happened to be asexual. i never found myself wanting sex with them and just never thought of it with them specifically and never experienced sexual attraction towards them anyway. i would still get off constantly and do things myself as i had already been doing.
my next relationship was with a lesbian and once again i never felt sexually attracted really, but i was deeply in love and romantically attracted which made me desire being close in a sexual way. some kind of demisexuality there maybe?
after that relationship (5years, stereotypical horrible sapphic breakup) i went a little crazy and got on the dating apps and started going on dates and hooking up with people. i got almost absolutely nothing out of any of that, and the sex i had was incomparable to the time i would spend with myself. however, this is where it gets even more complicated and annoying, because while the sex with the men was not very great, i still experienced sexual attraction to them?? and i still experience sexual attraction to them now, and see men on dating apps or celebrities that make my already crazy high libido even crazier, but when i really start thinking about it, if it came down to it i wouldn’t actually want to have sex with them. i don’t experience sexual attraction towards girls almost at all now which makes me wonder why i ever thought i was a lesbian from like 17-19.
i read a lot, a LOT of smut and still watch porn sometimes because of how high my sex drive is, and i enjoy it very much but i have never fully enjoyed actual sex, and sometimes during and ALWAYS after, i feel icky.
if anything i feel i can surmise i might be kind of demisexual when it comes to girls/non-men, though still it’s more about connection and being close than the actual attraction or sexual act. and with men, i experience high levels of attraction and sometimes do want sex but more often than not the idea of sex with anybody is extremely unappealing despite the fact that whatever is wrong with my body and my crazy high drive makes it seem like it should be the opposite. this is such a non-issue outside of my own brain and i’m sure some people would probably think i’m thinking wayyyy too much into this, but my sexuality and identity have painstakingly fluctuated for over a decade and i just want to understand myself better before i try to pursue a relationship again when maybe i shouldn’t. cause don’t even get me started on romantic attraction, i crave a relationship and read a shit ton of romance and fanfics but then once again, the idea of a relationship sometimes makes me cringe. i’m just so confused and i miss the days where i was simply just a cisgender bisexual girl.
https://redd.it/1pe7irh
@asexualityonreddit
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