Can you be Ace and still enjoy sex? To a point..
Can you be Asexual and still sort of enjoy sex?
I’d much rather give it but sometimes i feel like, ‘aroused’ i guess? but its not really like a need to act on. most of the time i never act on it. in my last relationship sex was a huge part because my partner was hypersexual, i would help them a lot but never really do anything myself. if i did it was to calm down or relive stress, but he never really made me feel comfortable when i did. part of me like does like it?? i think? like somewhat.. like in my head im like yeah okay but when i act on it i feel worse? like i dont feel good really.
i would much rather give it to my partner and never have anything done to me but i still like ’want’ it sometimes, but alone. I’ve never had comfortable 50/50 sex. its always been uncomfortable or me having to get off by myself. so maybe because of that i just don't want someone else to touch me but even when i do it alone i still don't feel good. like sometimes part of me does but its rare. and i almost always feel worse after unless i just don’t think about it.
Also can you be ace and have sex dreams- like this is the most confusing part to me sometimes ill have sex dreams but i feel anxious and gross when i wake up.. I'm just so confused.
Maybe i just have a really low sex drive and don't really like having sex- i don't know— I just don't want to say I'm ace if I'm not in the like range? I think im against myself on this because I feel like if i am ace then i wont find a partner because all of my last partners would have broken up with me if i told them i was ace whether or not i would still help them.
i don't think i like sex. i like giving it to others but not all the time. if my future partner wasn’t hypersexual but enjoyed sex i would want to give it to them but i dont think i want to act on it myself. Actually maybe i would prefer not having sex at all—
but like sometimes i feel like aroused so i dont know what it means.. i dont like acting on it though. But like sometimes i do act on it but like 99% of me feels like shit after but sometimes i feel a bit more relaxed but i have to forget about it to feel mentally better.
I’m so confused and i feel like im just annoying people by asking this :,) im just confused and trying to figure this out. I want to know myself better ,:|
sorry i talk a lot.. im just trying to figure this out. basically.. can someone be asexual and still want to give their partner sex? can you be ace and still feel aroused sometimes even if you dont like acting on it? im just confused on how i feel. i dont know if theres like a spectrum to this and theres something else I identify with more but i dont know- i made another post but i had an easier to read question this time ,:) sorry if this is against the rules or weird im having a crisis lol not really im just super confused and want to get this right- if anyone can like educate me.. like help me figure this out.. are there other things i align with better.. i think im overthinking this.
https://redd.it/1oyqtw6
@asexualityonreddit
Can you be Asexual and still sort of enjoy sex?
I’d much rather give it but sometimes i feel like, ‘aroused’ i guess? but its not really like a need to act on. most of the time i never act on it. in my last relationship sex was a huge part because my partner was hypersexual, i would help them a lot but never really do anything myself. if i did it was to calm down or relive stress, but he never really made me feel comfortable when i did. part of me like does like it?? i think? like somewhat.. like in my head im like yeah okay but when i act on it i feel worse? like i dont feel good really.
i would much rather give it to my partner and never have anything done to me but i still like ’want’ it sometimes, but alone. I’ve never had comfortable 50/50 sex. its always been uncomfortable or me having to get off by myself. so maybe because of that i just don't want someone else to touch me but even when i do it alone i still don't feel good. like sometimes part of me does but its rare. and i almost always feel worse after unless i just don’t think about it.
Also can you be ace and have sex dreams- like this is the most confusing part to me sometimes ill have sex dreams but i feel anxious and gross when i wake up.. I'm just so confused.
Maybe i just have a really low sex drive and don't really like having sex- i don't know— I just don't want to say I'm ace if I'm not in the like range? I think im against myself on this because I feel like if i am ace then i wont find a partner because all of my last partners would have broken up with me if i told them i was ace whether or not i would still help them.
i don't think i like sex. i like giving it to others but not all the time. if my future partner wasn’t hypersexual but enjoyed sex i would want to give it to them but i dont think i want to act on it myself. Actually maybe i would prefer not having sex at all—
but like sometimes i feel like aroused so i dont know what it means.. i dont like acting on it though. But like sometimes i do act on it but like 99% of me feels like shit after but sometimes i feel a bit more relaxed but i have to forget about it to feel mentally better.
I’m so confused and i feel like im just annoying people by asking this :,) im just confused and trying to figure this out. I want to know myself better ,:|
sorry i talk a lot.. im just trying to figure this out. basically.. can someone be asexual and still want to give their partner sex? can you be ace and still feel aroused sometimes even if you dont like acting on it? im just confused on how i feel. i dont know if theres like a spectrum to this and theres something else I identify with more but i dont know- i made another post but i had an easier to read question this time ,:) sorry if this is against the rules or weird im having a crisis lol not really im just super confused and want to get this right- if anyone can like educate me.. like help me figure this out.. are there other things i align with better.. i think im overthinking this.
https://redd.it/1oyqtw6
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the Asexual community on Reddit
Explore this post and more from the Asexual community
Am I Asexual?
Sooo this is sort of new for me. After some recent events I discovered for certain that I don't enjoy sex, at least physically, at all. It's boring and doesn't feel like anything. It's possible that maybe I haven't found some way to have sex that would give me pleasure but I can't imagine anything actually feeling good.
It's all the feelings around the sex that confuses me. Like people say asexual don't feel sexual attraction to others and I can't tell if I do or not. I definitely see certain people and would say I find them attractive but do I actually? I am not aromantic I know that and I still masturbate, feel horny and stuff. I would like a partner one day and I would want them to be someone I find attractive, why do I feel like that even though I don't like sex? I like knowing other people find me sexually attractive and the little enjoyment I do get out of sex is the emotional connection and knowing the other person felt good. Why do I feel any of these things when I don't like sex? Honestly I would be pretty happy to never have sex again but I also want other people to want to have sex with me? It's all very frustrating.
The only things I know for certain is that I am not aromantic and I get no physical pleasure from sex. All these other feelings are a massive headache.
https://redd.it/1oyu8wb
@asexualityonreddit
Sooo this is sort of new for me. After some recent events I discovered for certain that I don't enjoy sex, at least physically, at all. It's boring and doesn't feel like anything. It's possible that maybe I haven't found some way to have sex that would give me pleasure but I can't imagine anything actually feeling good.
It's all the feelings around the sex that confuses me. Like people say asexual don't feel sexual attraction to others and I can't tell if I do or not. I definitely see certain people and would say I find them attractive but do I actually? I am not aromantic I know that and I still masturbate, feel horny and stuff. I would like a partner one day and I would want them to be someone I find attractive, why do I feel like that even though I don't like sex? I like knowing other people find me sexually attractive and the little enjoyment I do get out of sex is the emotional connection and knowing the other person felt good. Why do I feel any of these things when I don't like sex? Honestly I would be pretty happy to never have sex again but I also want other people to want to have sex with me? It's all very frustrating.
The only things I know for certain is that I am not aromantic and I get no physical pleasure from sex. All these other feelings are a massive headache.
https://redd.it/1oyu8wb
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the Asexual community on Reddit
Explore this post and more from the Asexual community
Hate Being Told That I’m “Lucky” To Be Asexual
If I had a nickel for everytime someone told me “you’re lucky you’re asexual, I wish I was too!” I’d have two nickels. Which is alot.
Shut the fuck up, genuinely. You think being ace is fun? You think I’m lucky? Oh yeah, it sure is awesome not being able to sleep and crying all night because I’m worried I’ll die alone! It’s great not seeing myself as a real man because I don’t want sex, and knowing I’ll never be enough for anyone! I love having less than 1% of the population to date , I love constantly being sexualised by people and having them disrespect my sexuality multiple times! I love not being able to make friends and being afraid to go outside because I’m terrified of being seen in a sexual manner by anyone!
What a fun life!
https://redd.it/1oyxs0o
@asexualityonreddit
If I had a nickel for everytime someone told me “you’re lucky you’re asexual, I wish I was too!” I’d have two nickels. Which is alot.
Shut the fuck up, genuinely. You think being ace is fun? You think I’m lucky? Oh yeah, it sure is awesome not being able to sleep and crying all night because I’m worried I’ll die alone! It’s great not seeing myself as a real man because I don’t want sex, and knowing I’ll never be enough for anyone! I love having less than 1% of the population to date , I love constantly being sexualised by people and having them disrespect my sexuality multiple times! I love not being able to make friends and being afraid to go outside because I’m terrified of being seen in a sexual manner by anyone!
What a fun life!
https://redd.it/1oyxs0o
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the asexuality community on Reddit
Explore this post and more from the asexuality community
any people attracted to voice alone
aesthetically, sexually......
https://redd.it/1oz33aj
@asexualityonreddit
aesthetically, sexually......
https://redd.it/1oz33aj
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the asexuality community on Reddit
Explore this post and more from the asexuality community
Am I Asexual?
If you are questioning whether or not you are asexual (including all microlabels), reply to this post with what made you start questioning, and why.
If you are too shy to post a reply, then you can scroll through the responses for the advice you may be searching for.
https://redd.it/1oz7lk5
@asexualityonreddit
If you are questioning whether or not you are asexual (including all microlabels), reply to this post with what made you start questioning, and why.
If you are too shy to post a reply, then you can scroll through the responses for the advice you may be searching for.
https://redd.it/1oz7lk5
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the Asexual community on Reddit
Explore this post and more from the Asexual community
Is it possible if I could be asexual?
Hi all,
I'm questioning if I could be asexual and possibly aromantic. I'm not entirely sure if this belongs under "inquiry", but no other flair seems to fit.
Anyway, I've never really had much of an interest in sex or dating or romance. I have looked at porn quite a few times, but have pretty much always felt disgusted with myself afterwards. The idea of actually doing anything with a physical partner really doesn't interest me.
Adding to this is the fact that like I said, I don't really care about romance or dating and never have. I have no intention of ever actually marrying or having kids, whether biological or adopted.
So, once again, is it possible I could be asexual or aromantic? Or both? Or neither?
https://redd.it/1oz8uno
@asexualityonreddit
Hi all,
I'm questioning if I could be asexual and possibly aromantic. I'm not entirely sure if this belongs under "inquiry", but no other flair seems to fit.
Anyway, I've never really had much of an interest in sex or dating or romance. I have looked at porn quite a few times, but have pretty much always felt disgusted with myself afterwards. The idea of actually doing anything with a physical partner really doesn't interest me.
Adding to this is the fact that like I said, I don't really care about romance or dating and never have. I have no intention of ever actually marrying or having kids, whether biological or adopted.
So, once again, is it possible I could be asexual or aromantic? Or both? Or neither?
https://redd.it/1oz8uno
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the Asexual community on Reddit
Explore this post and more from the Asexual community
WIRED mag callout - AI companions
Hey everyone, an AI companion site last month offered free membership to people on the asexual spectrum to mark Asexual Awareness Week — and so my editor at WIRED and I thought it would be interesting to explore whether many asexual people are relating with such companions. I know there might be concerns that we would enter into this with a preconceived notion that asexuals might be uniquely suited to have AI companions, but that’s really not the case. We understand that asexual people share intimacy with folks, perhaps to a greater extent than many hetero people, and that the asexual spectrum is diverse. I’m really coming into this with an open mind and seeking to speak to as many people as possible and represent their views accurately and sensitively.
We’re open to speaking to anyone who feels that they have an AI companion — and of course we would be happy to keep one’s identifying details private as desired.
Thanks,
Mattha
https://www.wired.com/author/mattha-busby/
https://redd.it/1oza8p5
@asexualityonreddit
Hey everyone, an AI companion site last month offered free membership to people on the asexual spectrum to mark Asexual Awareness Week — and so my editor at WIRED and I thought it would be interesting to explore whether many asexual people are relating with such companions. I know there might be concerns that we would enter into this with a preconceived notion that asexuals might be uniquely suited to have AI companions, but that’s really not the case. We understand that asexual people share intimacy with folks, perhaps to a greater extent than many hetero people, and that the asexual spectrum is diverse. I’m really coming into this with an open mind and seeking to speak to as many people as possible and represent their views accurately and sensitively.
We’re open to speaking to anyone who feels that they have an AI companion — and of course we would be happy to keep one’s identifying details private as desired.
Thanks,
Mattha
https://www.wired.com/author/mattha-busby/
https://redd.it/1oza8p5
@asexualityonreddit
WIRED
Mattha Busby
Mattha Busby is a journalist who writes about health, drugs and (sub)culture. His work has appeared in The Guardian, Rolling Stone, Vice, Time, and Men's Health. In 2024, he was a Ferriss-UC Berkeley fellow in psychedelic journalism.
I hate being asexual
It feels so isolating. I just want to enjoy sex and be normal. My partner (21m) of 2.5 years is allosexual and I know he loves me, I love him, but I can't help but feel as if I know he'd be happier if I liked having sex. Nobody truly understands and sex looks like it could be so much fun. It makes me want to cry. I wish I could just be normal.
I've known I'm asexual for the last 4-5 years.
https://redd.it/1ozbrdo
@asexualityonreddit
It feels so isolating. I just want to enjoy sex and be normal. My partner (21m) of 2.5 years is allosexual and I know he loves me, I love him, but I can't help but feel as if I know he'd be happier if I liked having sex. Nobody truly understands and sex looks like it could be so much fun. It makes me want to cry. I wish I could just be normal.
I've known I'm asexual for the last 4-5 years.
https://redd.it/1ozbrdo
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the Asexual community on Reddit
Explore this post and more from the Asexual community
I yearn for love and connection, but dating feels impossible as someone who’d describe themselves as “heteroromantic ace”
I just don’t understand how I should go about dating? I have this deep desire for romance, affection, love and connection with someone, and I feel like I have a lot to give. But I’m not interested in sex; it is honestly somewhat repulsive.
I haven’t been in a relationship, but I have kissed a couple of people; it was just nothing. It felt solely mechanical, pointless really. But I love hugs, and cuddling!
I see a lot of my (hetero) friends and people in general talking about he/she is so hot, or “smash & pass” (which always makes me uncomfortable), but I never truly understood it. I very much appreciate beauty and aesthetics, but just to admire?
I think aesthetic attraction is very important for me, as I think I would need that on top of connecting with their personality to really feel romantic attraction. But it seems difficult to do, like how do you get to know people who you “fancy”, without leading them on, but also not just bluntly and weirdly announcing “I don’t like sex”?
I feel like I’m missing out on something really important and special that I desire, I love watching holiday movies or romcoms (without much sexual energy in them), but I don’t know how to make it work. :/
Anyone here experiencing something similar (whatever version of romance or sexuality you feel or don’t feel)?
https://redd.it/1ozldk5
@asexualityonreddit
I just don’t understand how I should go about dating? I have this deep desire for romance, affection, love and connection with someone, and I feel like I have a lot to give. But I’m not interested in sex; it is honestly somewhat repulsive.
I haven’t been in a relationship, but I have kissed a couple of people; it was just nothing. It felt solely mechanical, pointless really. But I love hugs, and cuddling!
I see a lot of my (hetero) friends and people in general talking about he/she is so hot, or “smash & pass” (which always makes me uncomfortable), but I never truly understood it. I very much appreciate beauty and aesthetics, but just to admire?
I think aesthetic attraction is very important for me, as I think I would need that on top of connecting with their personality to really feel romantic attraction. But it seems difficult to do, like how do you get to know people who you “fancy”, without leading them on, but also not just bluntly and weirdly announcing “I don’t like sex”?
I feel like I’m missing out on something really important and special that I desire, I love watching holiday movies or romcoms (without much sexual energy in them), but I don’t know how to make it work. :/
Anyone here experiencing something similar (whatever version of romance or sexuality you feel or don’t feel)?
https://redd.it/1ozldk5
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the asexuality community on Reddit
Explore this post and more from the asexuality community