My asexuality is ruining my love life

Yesterday for the second time this year, the girl I was dating broke things off citing a lack of physical touch/intimacy (in mild forms even) saying it was a turn off. And I completely expected it.

This happened before mid this year. I am really fed up. I have no interest in physical touch/intimacy at all, and it’s taking a serious toll on my relationships. HELP.

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@asexualityonreddit

I wish I wasn’t asexual.

If my words are jumbled up I’m sorry. I don’t know how to make this neat as possible without looking like a mess.

I’m sorry this is long.

I’m 18F and been together with my bf for a year and a half and recently me and him broke and it was because of my asexuality. He said that he can’t live without “it” if you know what I mean and I understood but it sucked. I had told from the start that I was asexual and he was ok with it at first but at the end he realised he wasn’t.

But tbh I knew that one day he would realise he couldn’t live without it and one day we would end. I did hope I would be wrong and we could be together forever but I was delusional. We had planned our future because we had similar plans for the future and everything.

3 months before we broke up I started realizing it more that it won’t work out I just had this feeling idk how to explain it I just knew it would happen just not sure when. I had been preparing myself mentally for when it would happen. And when the day came it was like any other just few hours before it happened we were laughing and playing Minecraft

Not realizing what was about to come and then it happened.

Then when we were just talking told me he can’t live without it. we talked about it a bit and then decided to end it. I wasnt crying It just was this deep feeling I couldn’t grasp I just felt nothing even the next day I felt nothing just emptiness tho I did start to realise how much I have of him, his gifts, the pictures the memories. He was my first actual bf and he showed me how it’s to be loved.

It feels strange not being able to cry about it I can only feel the emptiness the realization I’m not with him anymore. And that now I’m just by myself.

Idk how I’ll continue with life it feels strange I feel like I won’t ever find anyone who’s asexual and would actually love me, all the parts of me even the strange and weirds ones as well.

I always have felt like I’m difficult to love and that I have a strange personality and that I have so much history that not many could handle.

I just want to be loved for me and not for my body.


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@asexualityonreddit

Meme is meme
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@asexualityonreddit

Woo! i think

Just told my mom about me being aroace. I just showed her the google definition of aroace and said theres a whole group of people like me. She said oooh understood. She already knew i wasnt interested in dating and getting married and stuff like typical people. Im also sexually repulsed. So now she has a term for it. She also acknowledged that we are part of the lgbtq community. That was the scariest part for me due to all the stigma surrounding the community and us being asians lol. Also since intimacy stuff is kinda taboo in asian communities/my household, i feel like i dodged a bullet by being aroace. Like i can stay the innocent daughter to my parents instead of the sexually deviant child exploring intimacy and being awkward about all that.

Im also sapphic tho, but i did not tell her that lol. I feel like coming out as aroace is so much easier than admitting i fancy girls as well. I am Terrified to admit that and i dont want to at all. Since i wont be acting on my sapphic urges in the near future i wont bother coming out as sapphic to her. Aroace will be my identity as far as she is concerned

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@asexualityonreddit

So basically, my friend added these songs to our group playlist. And they're so explicit, I freaking hate it. And I had to listen to this in the middle of class, and I couldn't skip the songs and guess what. She has this thing on where she can't listen to anything explicit.
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@asexualityonreddit

Are You Aro (Advice)?

**Hi everyone!**



Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.



**Do any of these resonate with you?**

\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.

\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.

\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.

\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.



These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.



\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!

* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)

* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)

* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)

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@asexualityonreddit

Why am I getting asked this :,)
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@asexualityonreddit

helpful
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@asexualityonreddit

For asexuals that lost NNN this meme is for you

https://redd.it/1opk5qh
@asexualityonreddit

As much as I love being single and asexual and I do… I wish I could find me an Asexual Butch lesbian cis woman who is all I can’t do and I do what I can do.

It feels incredibly sad that any time I find a Cis Butch Lesbian woman it is also sex, sex, sex, oh look strap on, strap on, STRAP ON…

Why can’t there be a Cis Asexual Butch Lesbian Woman opposite of my Cis Asexual Grunge Tomboy Lesbian Woman ass.

They do what I can’t.

I do what I can.

We cuddle cuddles that aren’t the spooning ones.

We kiss long as don’t touch my face.

🥺

Is my outdated ass doomed?

Not to mention the Ace Phobia in other LGBTQIA+ subreddits that could in any way pertain to us seeing as I’m a lesbian too as well as Asexual.

Also don’t get me started on others perpetual need to jam it down their throats that it can only be trauma and fear reasons as to why no sex. They rather choke to death on there perceived notions than change their thoughts, beliefs and opinions by stepping out of their pure unadulterated sexual box.

How about I just don’t want to. Or better yet my face goes red and chapped like it is winter. “Did you use a bad concealer on your zits?” Shut up on that I say. So no. I just don’t want to. That is the reason.

Ask yourself, “Do I do everything and do I have to? No?”

…and you don’t demand others do as such when you don’t. If you don’t do everything and don’t have to; then neither do others.


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@asexualityonreddit

Fr tho, I never understood this metaphor
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@asexualityonreddit

I don’t want to be “fixed”, I want to be understood

I said this to my counsellor the other day, and it sums up the rage I feel at the moment towards so called “friends” who have lied to me and manipulated me in an attempt to pressure me to date. I keep hearing that they only did it with the best of intentions, but there’s something so horrific about finding out that the people you thought understood and accepted you as you are decided you need to be “fixed” for your own good, as if you’re a child who doesn’t have any agency in your own life. It’s broken me into a million pieces and I’m struggling to make friends and connect with anyone again.

https://redd.it/1opuoe9
@asexualityonreddit

I messed up as a parent

Driving home after dinner as a family, somehow my wife mentioned eventual grandchildren. After my 9 yo reacted, my 12 yo said he didn't think about children and thinks he's asexual. I can't explain all the reasons why, but my wife and I were ultimately dismissive with comments like "you're young to be thinking about sex and children" "you don't need to label yourself" and more.

Clearly we didn't respond in a healthy manner, but what do we need to do next?

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@asexualityonreddit

I hate being called hot XD
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@asexualityonreddit

Guys!! It’s possible to find asexuals that are your type!

I recently met someone! And then soon we got really close and started dating and he said he was asexual!! And I honestly couldn’t be happier! Like I found someone who understands what I feel and I don’t need to make my self agree with things I don’t agree with!!!
Fellow asexuals it is possible! ♾️

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@asexualityonreddit

Almost 2026 and still waiting for people to agree on what sexual attraction exactly is

Lots of mixed opinion on what it is exactly so ya.

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For all my alloromantics out there
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@asexualityonreddit

damn okay.
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@asexualityonreddit

The amount of invasive questions and disregard for folks on the ace spectrum is crazy

I just wanted to vent about this. Every time I'm open about my sexuality, it seems like people feel the need to have free reign to ask deeply personal and invasive questions about what it looks like--or disregard my identity completely. It's so frustrating to me. Especially because I have friends in my life that do this too. I can tell they don't "believe me." I hate it.

Questions like
-Well, do you enjoy sex?
-How can you be asexual if you have sex?
-You know normal people dont want to hook up with everyone they see either, right?

On and on. I just want to fire back with "well, how do you know you're straight? How do you know you're gay?"

Like, you just know. You figure it out. I've spent years agonizing that I felt like a piece of me was missing because I didnt experience the same sexual attraction everyone else does. I hate being dog piled and dismissed even by members of a community that are supposed to accept non-traditional sexualities.

That's all. Just wanted to vent.

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