I feel a huge lack of representation of asexual "manly men"

Most asexual men are portrayed as having a "twink" body type. It would be interesting to have representation of typically "manly" men—characters like Wolverine, Uvogin from HxH, Thor from God of War Ragnarok—especially since asexual men are accused of "not having enough testosterone," and it would help to break that perception.
At the same time, I know that representation of LGBT masculine men is quite scarce. We rarely see very masculine gay couples; sometimes only one of the couples is male and the other is female, or both are not. But representation would still be good.

The only character who falls into this category is Rick Kristov from Grimport Misfits (I don't know if the story will be published, but you can follow him on Fosc X's Instagram). He is officially panromantic and asexual. If anyone knows another, feel free to share.

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When someone tells you you're brave for coming out
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Am I ace or is something else wrong with me?

So I'm a teen in high-school who has identified as asexual for a while because it is the closest I can get to what I'm feeling. I have those desires and fantasies but when I pull up those sites I'm immediately disgusted, not with how it's presented, just all of it. I don't like the look of genitalia and even my own has grossed me out. I have a partner who is really into that stuff and I do get it but I'm afraid if we ever do get to that point together that I'll not enjoy it like they would. Help?

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My dad HATES that I’m ace

LONG SORRY

Honestly this is more of a story time because I just think it’s entertaining how weird this is.
When I came out to my dad as a lesbian, I was so surprised how chill he was. He just said “I don’t care as long as you are safe and happy.” Literally couldn’t have gone better. I then casually mentioned “oh yeah and I’m also asexual…” and he fucking stood up and nearly yelled “no you’re not!!!” He hasn’t been able to let go of the topic since then.

My mom is ace and she is obviously fully supportive of me being ace. My dad on the other hand (they are divorced and he is remarried), clearly is not. He is incredibly hypersexual to the point he’s made stupid desicions based on his sex drive. He’s cheated on my mom too many times for her to count (right after marriage, during pregnancy, after having kids, after she had a major life changing surgery) as well as only a few months into his relationship with my stepmom. He also likes to argue a lot with me that I am fucked up for thinking it is wrong or even odd for a middle age man to be with a woman 18-25 (he has also slept with a girl around 5 years older than me). This is not to say at all that being hypersexual excuses this or that hypersexual people are like this, this is just him. Every other hypersexual person i’ve met cannot imagine cheating on their partner.

Anyway, he has sat me down, trapped me in a long drive, and told me that my mom has manipulated me into being asexual. Telling me the last thing I should feel is comfortable in my asexuality, and that in reality I am just scared and manipulated. He also constantly makes me watch movies with sex scenes, some disturbing like the one in Midsommar. He will always turn to see if i’m watching, and if i’m looking away or making a weird face he will point it out and ridicule me and insult my mom again. I personally don’t mind sex scenes in movies (assuming it’s a healthy relationship) but I hate watching it with my dad. Absolutely loved watching Challengers with my friends as well as other movies.

Since this, I have been through shit with my partner because I was convinced that since I wasn’t sexually attracted to them, I need to break up with them and find someone else, only to reach the same conclusion over again after may tears on both sides I don’t have sexual attraction towards anyone. I have beat myself up every day for the past year, wishing and praying I would just magically gain a sex drive.

I want so badly to know what that pleasure feels like. I want to talk to friends about it and relate. I’m so tired of the comments and looks I get from people telling me they could never. Everyone thinks i’m comfortable with this but i’m not I want to want sex so bad, but I know if I force myself into a situation with my partner and I don’t want it it will not turn out well. I also think the fact I don’t like long kisses, having tried it, implies I wouldn’t like sex. I can’t just get into a passionate mindset to do things like make out or anything, so how could I do it for sex?

My mind has just been wavering this past year between hating myself for not wanting sex, trying to desensitize myself (spoiler alert watching porn does NOT help), talking to allosexual people to understand it, and the worst part has been feeling angry and hateful towards allosexuals and the concept of sex itself.

For the record, my partner is on the exact same page as me. They are asexual and enjoy the same level of intimacy I do (cuddling, quick kisses, etc.) so I am so grateful this is not an issue of them wanting something I can’t give them.

Not sure if i’m asking for advice or just a story time. Regardless someone to relate to is always appreciated because although I have my partner, I still feel so alone around all my allosexual friends.

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The Arrow-Ace Comic
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I'm kind of confused

Okay so first off, NSFW and possibly TMI, I'm just trying to cover everything but if you don't want to see that kind of stuff this definitely isn't the post for you!

So far, I have never had the desire or urge to partake in any sexual acts with anybody, ever. I wouldn't even want to kiss someone lol

HOWEVER, I can become sexually aroused by looking at pictures of certain people. Maybe TMI but mostly myself in certain pictures, and then I can imagine a scenario to go along with it (I don't even think I'm attracted to myself or anything but it's kinda just that I'm in the scenario? If you know what I mean?). I can masturbate to these pictures but I still don't have the desire or urge to actually partake in any sexual acts with another person.

It might be worth mentioning that I can also have an aesthetic attraction of sorts to some other people that definitely wouldn't ever cause arousal for me. This is just some extra thing that I don't think is actually very relavant.

This feels like it could be sex repulsed allo or something, but I honestly don't really have any idea.

Holy shit I would never post this if it wasn't for anonymity.

Thank you!

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An ace bracelet

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New to the gang
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28 M - So Happy This Is A Real Thing!

28 M here who’s always been single & never in a relationship his whole life. I recently came across this forum and I’m so happy that being Asexual is a thing - I’ve been this way my whole life and never even knew the term Asexual or that such a thing exists, such a community and way of being exists. I never knew to label myself as an Asexual and after decades of being ridicule, I’m so glad I can confidently do so now!

I am attracted to women, I am an hetereoromantic ace. But I just feel that there are so many more purer and thoughtful and emotionally-available ways of displaying affection and love for another person. I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling this way and yeah, happy to finally find out there are others who think the same way I do!

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is dating hard as an asexual?

pretty much the title, i'm a straight man and i would love a relationship in the future but my brain keeps telling me it's not possible as i'm a sex repulsed asexual and no woman would like that.

quite negative i know, but is it easy to find an asexual partner?

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Questioning myself

I am currently questioning myself
And I would like some help from those who are more knowledgeable on the subject than me
It’s been a while
Since I had a relationship
And I thought after all this time
I would find the urge to return to that again
But no nothing i feel happy and content by myself with my cats
So I’m back to questioning, if it’s aromanticism or just a midlife crisis

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@asexualityonreddit

Am I asexual?

Hi everyone! This post is probably going to be abit TMI but I’m getting in over my head questioning my sexuality, so please be nice, if you’re not going to just don’t reply to this :) I’m 17f and have been openly bisexual since I was 13. I have friends who either have had sex/sexual activity or do want it to happen, every time we are all together, the topic of sex gets brought up. Every time I get uncomfortable, don’t really talk and try to change the subject then they make fun of me for ‘not getting any’ (I havnt had a partner for over two years and have only kissed someone) it’s became a joke that I’ve never done anything sexual and is ‘too innocent’ I have no clue what to say so I just say that I don’t want to do anything like that. Which is true; I have no intention of doing anything sexual with anyone and I can’t imagine myself ever doing that. However, I have read smut before (2020 Wattpad phase 😭) and I’m not phased by sex scenes in movie or tv shows, I’ve just never thought of myself doing it. I’m really overthinking this so I would just like some nice advise please, I’m sorry this is so long, thank you for reading ☺️

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Why nobody beliefs?

Why is being asexual so difficult? People consider it a non-existent thing.

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If your queerplatonic partner got with someone romantically, would you personally consider it cheating?

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Problems with gay male friend understanding me

Long time lurker here.

I have known I am ace for a long time. I have very little experience dating and I have never had sex, nor do I feel very interested in the idea of that right now. I’m still figuring out whether I am asexual or demi, but I know I am ace either way.

I have told many friends that I am ace, including my gay friend (let’s call him Jack). Almost all of them have accepted me, asked respectful questions, or even shared their own experiences with their sexuality (including straight friends). Everyone except Jack. Jack didn’t outright dismiss me, but we very quickly moved on to a different topic after I told him.

At one point I thought he may have forgotten that I am ace because we were joking back and forth and I asked him to “name every asexual person” and he listed some random celebrities as a joke. Another time, I made a sexual joke and he said something along the lines of “for an asexual person…”

Typing this all out makes me feel like it’s not that much, but I’ve just found myself hurt by this and wondering if he isn’t taking me seriously.

I guess I just don’t know what I should do in this circumstance. I am good friends with him otherwise and I don’t want to cause friction.

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Am I Ace? (TW: SA)

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Hello, I am a 25f who was always self identifying as Bi... I married my husband after 6 years of living together and he started SAing me... every day almost for 9 months... anyway long story short I think I have a phobia of sex and I feel bad bc he hasn't hurt me the last few months trying to get better but I feel nothing. 0 drive. I am terrified of the concept of sex at all I cant even listen to music or read something that talks about it or I shake and get sick.. they say its an aversion that I can go to therapy to desensitize myself but I panic at the idea of ever trying to do it again or training myself like a misbehaving animal. Is it ace if I just don't ever want to do it again?...or do you think its just trauma?
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Sorry for the trauma dump. Thanks if you can reply.

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My wife is asexual, I am not

Is it acceptable for me to be here? I mean that sincerely. If not, please let me know and I will delete this post.

I’m an allosexual male and my wife, my best friend, my person, has come out as asexual.

We’ve been together over 25 years, but she only came out as asexually after a ten year dead bedroom led to couples councelling, therapy, and introspection.

We are the people we are meant to be with. We love each other dearly. We match for most things, and are opposites where important. Except for, well, that.

Is it appropriate for me to seek advice here, or is the a better sub to look for?

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