It do be like that sometimes.

https://redd.it/1ohjobg
@asexualityonreddit

dating as an insecure ftm asexual.

I’ve seen a couple questions similar to this but nothing quite like what I’m looking for so I figured I’d ask! So, I’m super sex-repulsed, and I know that regardless of the reason, a lack of sexual attraction is what asexuality is! However, I can’t really figure out if I’m asexual because that’s how I was born or if I’m asexual because of my insecurities with being trans as well as past trauma surrounding sexual happenings. I know that I am still asexual, but I wonder if I wouldn’t be if I was more comfortable in my body. My biggest question is: how do yall navigate relationships with such complicated feelings!? I’d be open to dating but it feels almost not worth it with all these complicated feelings, and unfair to a potential partner to be so unsure about my own boundaries and sexuality.

https://redd.it/1ohm08w
@asexualityonreddit

Go f*k myself I guess

I am 28 (F), my boyfriend of 7 years is also 28.

We don't live together. Complications.

I rarely see him, when we do, it's hard because I'm dealing with depression.

I spent the last 3 days in my bed. Between those days, I've eaten at least 400 calories. I feel like shit.

Our date today, which was a walk to the park, should have been relaxing until he started talking about eating me out. Yes. He's been wanting to since the first time. I hated it the first time. I hate it now. But I digress. The issue is that I spent all my energy getting prepared for that park date and it was ruined just by that. He even played a song about a dude whose girlfriend wouldn't touch him naked (and only when she's drunk). That's so fucking unfair to me right now. I can't even FATHOM sex in my current state. I'm pissed off because the people in my life have been nothing a bunch of assholes that can't do anything right--all bark and no bite. Always breaking promises. Like my boyfriend is supposed to help me with my intern hours but I've only done maybe 8 in real life. (I don't have a car. I don't have a job. I only have that internship which is suppose to jumpstart my career and I can't even fucking do that.) I had to lie about the rest of the hours because we just haven't gone recently. I get it, he has shit too. But I feel so fucking dishonest. I don't feel like myself. I don't even like myself. I'm down because I have no control in my life right now. And after, what, 5 weeks of not seeing my boyfriend--he talks about eating me out.

Fuck off.

https://redd.it/1ohhk50
@asexualityonreddit

Love this art.

https://redd.it/1ohoert
@asexualityonreddit

Homie just sent this
https://redd.it/1ohpaj5
@asexualityonreddit

What do you love about being ace?

.

https://redd.it/1ohn3dr
@asexualityonreddit

I feel so uncomfortable…. ( OCD )


First off, i would like to apologise for these post bc i don’t want to post about it every single time but i just feel so uncomfortable it is starting to stress me out.
I also would like to mention that, yes i know fictosexuals exist but i also don’t crave fictional characters sexually either ( i think….i am having a crisis )


I struggle with sexual intrusive thoughts that has started to affect my day to day life and now, it has just become worse bc of how real it feels and now i am scared.

Before i start talking about what happened i just want to inform this. No i don’t think sexual fantasies are shameful, no i don’t think sex is ‘’ bad ‘’ and no i am not scared of feeling sexual attraction/ sexual intimacy. I am actually scared of REPRESSING sexual attraction/sexual desires unconsciously.
I am sex-repulsed


Ok so, i was drawing a character which i thought they were pretty bc….i found them pretty


And i thought of making a cool outfit for them or making a story about them until an unwanted sexual image popped up in my head that i really didn’t enjoy.
I felted pale…literally bc yk…i didn’t like it. The thoughts made me feel uncomfortable bc i am sex-repulsed and i don’t really enjoy sexualizing ppl, character or things bc….idk what’s the point of doing it yk.


But the thing that made the thoughts stressed me out more is that it gaved me weird sensations that i didn’t like. Like an ‘’ intrusive urge ‘’ or a groinal responce. Which made it even worse


Heck i was too afraid of calling them intrusive urges/groinal responce bc i got a thought in my head that went ‘’ what if those are real sexual urges and desire for that character and felt a real sexual pull but you are calling them intrusive urges nd groinal responce to unconsciously repress sexual pull/attraction and desires’’


Which made me go insane bc i don’t want to repress sexual attraction/pull and desires. Bc IT IS NORMAL TO FEEL THAT
EVEN FOR CHARACTERS


It is true that i didn’t enjoy the thoughts and actually did not crave the character sexually but i am afraid of saying that to somehow repress sexual desires/attraction pull.



Sooo yeah, i am scared now. I don’t feel good. The thought made me want to cry. But when i say that, i am afraid bc what if i am just saying that to be SEX-NEGATIVE???


BRO, I KNOW SEX IS NORMAL, SEXUAL ATTRACTIONS, URGES AND PULLS ARE NORMAL. SEXUAL DESIRES ARE NORMALL


BUT I AM AFRAID OF SAYING THAT I DIDNT LIKE THE THOUGHTS/ DID FEEL ANY ATTRACTION FOR THE CHARACTER BECAUSE WHAT IF I AM JUDT SAYING THAT TO SEXUALLY REPRESS SEXUAL ATTRACTION???


AHHHHHHHHHH





….anyways, you get the deal i said what if repression that and this many times in the post sooo yeah


I am scared of somehow repressing sexual desires and urges bc of how my thoughts felted so real to the point of giving me a crisis ON A BUSY MOMDAY.


So yeah, i would like some validations abt this bc i feel alone. I don’t like it, anddd yeah. I just don’t like dealing with this. Thank you for listening



https://redd.it/1ohplz0
@asexualityonreddit

Should I tell my family and/or acquaintances?

I'm always thinking about whether I should tell my family that I'm on the asexual spectrum, but I don't know if it's necessary or not.

I'm afraid that they will see me as a weirdo and think there is something wrong with me. They usually make homophobic and sexist comments disguised as jokes, they also often make jokes about how I'm older (I'm 18), that I have secret boyfriends, what I must have done and experienced and things like that. I would really love to tell you that I am asexual and that I don't want you to talk about me that way.

I'm also afraid that they will infantilize me and be happy to have a virgin and pure daughter. I know that women's virginity is usually celebrated and that makes me very sick...

I really don't know what to do and I would like to read your opinions or experiences. (My language is not English, I'm sorry if something is not understood)

https://redd.it/1ohrvtz
@asexualityonreddit

I feel a huge lack of representation of asexual "manly men"

Most asexual men are portrayed as having a "twink" body type. It would be interesting to have representation of typically "manly" men—characters like Wolverine, Uvogin from HxH, Thor from God of War Ragnarok—especially since asexual men are accused of "not having enough testosterone," and it would help to break that perception.
At the same time, I know that representation of LGBT masculine men is quite scarce. We rarely see very masculine gay couples; sometimes only one of the couples is male and the other is female, or both are not. But representation would still be good.

The only character who falls into this category is Rick Kristov from Grimport Misfits (I don't know if the story will be published, but you can follow him on Fosc X's Instagram). He is officially panromantic and asexual. If anyone knows another, feel free to share.

https://redd.it/1ohvlk8
@asexualityonreddit

When someone tells you you're brave for coming out
https://redd.it/1oi3h0i
@asexualityonreddit

Am I ace or is something else wrong with me?

So I'm a teen in high-school who has identified as asexual for a while because it is the closest I can get to what I'm feeling. I have those desires and fantasies but when I pull up those sites I'm immediately disgusted, not with how it's presented, just all of it. I don't like the look of genitalia and even my own has grossed me out. I have a partner who is really into that stuff and I do get it but I'm afraid if we ever do get to that point together that I'll not enjoy it like they would. Help?

https://redd.it/1oi8q0r
@asexualityonreddit

My dad HATES that I’m ace

LONG SORRY

Honestly this is more of a story time because I just think it’s entertaining how weird this is.
When I came out to my dad as a lesbian, I was so surprised how chill he was. He just said “I don’t care as long as you are safe and happy.” Literally couldn’t have gone better. I then casually mentioned “oh yeah and I’m also asexual…” and he fucking stood up and nearly yelled “no you’re not!!!” He hasn’t been able to let go of the topic since then.

My mom is ace and she is obviously fully supportive of me being ace. My dad on the other hand (they are divorced and he is remarried), clearly is not. He is incredibly hypersexual to the point he’s made stupid desicions based on his sex drive. He’s cheated on my mom too many times for her to count (right after marriage, during pregnancy, after having kids, after she had a major life changing surgery) as well as only a few months into his relationship with my stepmom. He also likes to argue a lot with me that I am fucked up for thinking it is wrong or even odd for a middle age man to be with a woman 18-25 (he has also slept with a girl around 5 years older than me). This is not to say at all that being hypersexual excuses this or that hypersexual people are like this, this is just him. Every other hypersexual person i’ve met cannot imagine cheating on their partner.

Anyway, he has sat me down, trapped me in a long drive, and told me that my mom has manipulated me into being asexual. Telling me the last thing I should feel is comfortable in my asexuality, and that in reality I am just scared and manipulated. He also constantly makes me watch movies with sex scenes, some disturbing like the one in Midsommar. He will always turn to see if i’m watching, and if i’m looking away or making a weird face he will point it out and ridicule me and insult my mom again. I personally don’t mind sex scenes in movies (assuming it’s a healthy relationship) but I hate watching it with my dad. Absolutely loved watching Challengers with my friends as well as other movies.

Since this, I have been through shit with my partner because I was convinced that since I wasn’t sexually attracted to them, I need to break up with them and find someone else, only to reach the same conclusion over again after may tears on both sides I don’t have sexual attraction towards anyone. I have beat myself up every day for the past year, wishing and praying I would just magically gain a sex drive.

I want so badly to know what that pleasure feels like. I want to talk to friends about it and relate. I’m so tired of the comments and looks I get from people telling me they could never. Everyone thinks i’m comfortable with this but i’m not I want to want sex so bad, but I know if I force myself into a situation with my partner and I don’t want it it will not turn out well. I also think the fact I don’t like long kisses, having tried it, implies I wouldn’t like sex. I can’t just get into a passionate mindset to do things like make out or anything, so how could I do it for sex?

My mind has just been wavering this past year between hating myself for not wanting sex, trying to desensitize myself (spoiler alert watching porn does NOT help), talking to allosexual people to understand it, and the worst part has been feeling angry and hateful towards allosexuals and the concept of sex itself.

For the record, my partner is on the exact same page as me. They are asexual and enjoy the same level of intimacy I do (cuddling, quick kisses, etc.) so I am so grateful this is not an issue of them wanting something I can’t give them.

Not sure if i’m asking for advice or just a story time. Regardless someone to relate to is always appreciated because although I have my partner, I still feel so alone around all my allosexual friends.

https://redd.it/1ohy6j0
@asexualityonreddit

The Arrow-Ace Comic
https://redd.it/1oib79t
@asexualityonreddit

I'm kind of confused

Okay so first off, NSFW and possibly TMI, I'm just trying to cover everything but if you don't want to see that kind of stuff this definitely isn't the post for you!

So far, I have never had the desire or urge to partake in any sexual acts with anybody, ever. I wouldn't even want to kiss someone lol

HOWEVER, I can become sexually aroused by looking at pictures of certain people. Maybe TMI but mostly myself in certain pictures, and then I can imagine a scenario to go along with it (I don't even think I'm attracted to myself or anything but it's kinda just that I'm in the scenario? If you know what I mean?). I can masturbate to these pictures but I still don't have the desire or urge to actually partake in any sexual acts with another person.

It might be worth mentioning that I can also have an aesthetic attraction of sorts to some other people that definitely wouldn't ever cause arousal for me. This is just some extra thing that I don't think is actually very relavant.

This feels like it could be sex repulsed allo or something, but I honestly don't really have any idea.

Holy shit I would never post this if it wasn't for anonymity.

Thank you!

https://redd.it/1oiaqbm
@asexualityonreddit

An ace bracelet

https://redd.it/1oiearv
@asexualityonreddit