If you’re coming out today

If you choose to come out today I wish you nothing but acceptance and peace. If you come out and have a negative experience, try to remember as a community we are all here for you.

Please be safe and only come out if you have a safe space to go too

💜💜💜

https://redd.it/1o45sgu
@asexualityonreddit

Need some help figuring things out

Im 21 and until now I never experienced sexual attracted to people, I did have some experiences with both men and women but all of them happened at parties and/or after a night out but nothing more then kissing and touching with clothes on. I never initiate I always just find myself doing it as a "eh why not I have nothing better to do rn anyway" so I had considered myself on the asexul spectrum. But I have been in a relationship with someone for an year now ( told them about my sexualty and they are fine with it) and I for the past months find myself think about doing stuff with them. Told them that and we tried and well I felt like a stone sitting there, my mind fully went somewhere else. Now I feel a bit lost because I still enjoying kissing them I do like them having their hands on my waist/neck and I do get aroused by our make out session( even if sometimes I also zone out of those too) and I still find them attractive. Sooo am I just allo and sex repulsive, or is this a flavor of asexul that I dont know?

https://redd.it/1o48fc2
@asexualityonreddit

May be the most ace tweet I have seen😂
https://redd.it/1o48ojb
@asexualityonreddit

Beats s3x anyway of the week

https://redd.it/1o47fmx
@asexualityonreddit

How do you feel about dying a virgin?

So I'm still unsure if I'm Asexual or just straight, I'm probably just Graysexual but I don't know.

Vaginas and Nipples don't really turn me on, but I'm attracted to women, it's like I'm attracted to women but I don't want to have sex with them.

I turned 29 today and I'm still a virgin, it's not out of being awkward or antisocial, I've had female friends and I've had women have a crush on me but personally I just have no incentive to have sex with them.

For me in my ideal circumstance we just fall asleep spooning. Part of me would like to say yeah I've had sex in the same way I liked saying I've smoked weed or been to Paris etc. but to be honest I don't really want to have sex...

I feel like it would be awkward and I feel like I would be really insecure and as I said earlier vaginas/naked women don't really do anything for me.

If it ever happened I wouldn't say no but I just have no desire to do it, that being said I would be open to having kids.

I don't know sex has always been weird for me, I never watched porn when all my friends were but I would... You know over some random fully clothed character in a TV show.

https://redd.it/1o483bv
@asexualityonreddit

Anyone here from Southeast or East Asia??

I noticed that the community are mostly based in the US or Europe. Wanted to know if there’s any fellow southeast/ east asia here to connect??

https://redd.it/1o4djh8
@asexualityonreddit

I'm lost (mainly venting)

Every day, I wake up, get ready, put on a mask and get into work. I pretend like I'm the happiest person because I know they need the positivity. When I meet with friends, I put on a brave face and a smile because I'm supposed to be the funny and cheerful one. I spread happiness and positivity as much as I can and I love it. But behind it all, I'm suffering in silence.

While they all go on dates, meet people, I'm the one they come to for (dating) advice and everything that comes with it. But in the end, I'm the one who's alone and I don't think that's ever going to change.

I can't talk to anyone about it all, because everytime I broke that image of myself and asked for help, or when they just found out I need some the support I've been giving them too, they left.
I tried therapy multiple times, it always only ever made things worse. My last hug was years ago, so long that I dont even know what it feels like anymore. Every night, I get into bed and pretend I'm someone else until I fall asleep, because it's the only way I can calm.

I'm lost and I just have this knowing feeling that I don't deserve the happiness that I'm trying so hard to spread among others. I just don't know what to do anymore.

~~~

I'm sorry, I just needed to dump these feeling's somewhere for once. Thank you, to everyone in this community and everyone who's ever taken the time to read my venting.

https://redd.it/1o4le5y
@asexualityonreddit

This absolutely HOLY garlic bread I ate today
https://redd.it/1o4n82y
@asexualityonreddit

I created an Ace Marine :)

https://redd.it/1o4nr39
@asexualityonreddit

Older, only just figured this out.

I'm 67, two years ago identified as autistic. So there's that. And just in case that's not socially repellant enough, I'm also an atheist.

A couple of weeks ago, my 82-year old aunt called to thank me for my normally snarky birthday greetings to her. And out of her mouth was "So, no romance yet for you?" Mind you, I'm 9.5 years a "widow." Have been in ZERO "relationships" in that time. She doesn't know about the 10 years I spent married to H#2 (second husband) which were sexless (mostly because he was cheating the entire time which I found out about during his hospice care - your shite does catch up to you!) and during which I didn't care. Before him, I was happily single for a few years following a divorce. So the upshot is that the last time I behaved sexually was sometime in the prior century. And now I understand that it's obvious to everybody. I never even "got" that.

Then a 74yo friend started dating this guy back in the summer. She only just finally told me about it not long ago. I think she more so didn't want me to feel bad for being on my own and now she's kind of taken up with her guy.

So that and my aunt's question made me think of all of this for myself, for the very first time. I read Angela Chen's book. And I have come to the ace conclusion. It feels right. And is kind of a big relief in one way, honestly. I'm just not going to make s-excuses anymore.

So here I am, representing for Boomer aces. Anyone else?

https://redd.it/1o4n173
@asexualityonreddit

Questions?

So…..is the requirement to be asexual not feeling sexual attraction to anyone? Like in my case….i think my boyfriend is attractive but I don’t like sex. Not because of him, though. Like I can't think of a single time I've had sex with ANYONE and actually enjoyed it. It's all been performative. I do like masturbating though. Could this be asexual or something else all together?

https://redd.it/1o4py9n
@asexualityonreddit

Does anyone else find people recommending you to get pets infuriating?

I've confided in close friends about the toll of being asexual, the loneliness and the touch starvation and the crushing reality that if you want to be with someone then it is 100 times harder and the majority of people wouldn't even consider you.

Their advice was to get a pet?! I know they mean well but I almost lost it with them. I don't want a pet, I want to be good enough for people to even consider giving me a chance. I want human affection.

https://redd.it/1o4sv9c
@asexualityonreddit

What really counts as asexuality? Is it an umbrella term or not?

I don’t usually make posts or ask questions, but there’s something that’s been bothering me a bit, and I really need to ask.

So, asexuality is defined as not feeling sexual attraction toward anyone, ever, right? I have a doubt.
I found another sub where “total asexuality” was basically treated as what being truly asexual means — and that any slightest desire or interest would mean you’re not ace.
I’m not sure if they’re referring to libido or sexual attraction, because they seem more sex-repulsed than anything else.

One of their points was that asexuality shouldn’t be considered an umbrella term — that the real umbrella term should be graysexual, because that one allows for fluctuation, allows for feeling desire maybe once in your life, allows you to enjoy erotic content or sex itself, allows you to say sex just doesn’t matter to you, or that you’d be willing to have it for some reason.

So… what is asexuality? Is it an umbrella or not?
I don’t want to misunderstand or mislabel myself (or someone else), but I honestly don’t know which definition to trust anymore.

For context: I personally don’t think labels should be treated as strict rules.
As long as a label feels right and represents you well enough, you should be free to use it.

https://redd.it/1o4u71y
@asexualityonreddit

How do I know if I’m ace or anything

Idk I’m trying to figure out what I am because it’s weird im gay for the most part but the times I have done stuff (with others) it doesn’t feel like anything special it’s like nice and cool it’s happing but that’s it nothing feels how I feel it should and I havnt really had a crush on anyone either like there’s people who like I wouldn’t mind dating over others but that’s it and it’s annoying bc I’m also not even sure what I’m attracted to I use to think I may have been Demi but I’m not even fully sure what that is so I just say I’m gay bc it’s easiest but it’s annoying bc I don’t know what I am I could be just gay I just have no clue and not sure if this is how I should be feeling about it all. If anyone has any knowledge/idea on anything I’m all ears.

https://redd.it/1o4xita
@asexualityonreddit

I hate being asexual

I hate it so much.

I don’t want to have sex I just don’t care for it.

But I also feel like I’ll never find my dream Butch; Dyke Lesbian woman because it seems like every one of them wants sex. Like no. I just want a raw unadulterated pure butch that doesn’t do sex, doesn’t have friends, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke and can fit my needs as well as all else due to how my body reacts and I have mild autism. I’m friendless too so no worries on that front.

Gaaaahshshehrndhdhdjfjfjdjxjfjdjfjfnfndbdbvshdh

https://redd.it/1o4x371
@asexualityonreddit

Hypersexual asexuals — do they exist?

I'm 18F and due to past sexual trauma I developed hypersexuality in my early teen years. I have the usual package of uncontrollable sexual fantasies and urges that frequently impact my life on the daily basis, but the thought of actually having sex with someone in real life repulses the hell out of me. I can think about and enjoy the thought of having sex with someone, but if you offered me 1 billion to do it with them in person I'd take a hard pass. And here is where my confusion lies. Am I actually asexual or just secretly repulsed by my own thoughts? Can hypersexuality and asexuality exist at the same time or is there another label for a sex-repulsed hypersexual?

https://redd.it/1o4y21m
@asexualityonreddit

am i asexual or was i just doing something wrong?

burner account for privacy

Me (16f) and my boyfriend (16m) have been dating for about 6 months and decided we both consented to under the clothes stuff. It started of with mostly just rubbing and touching then got to full fingering. Every time he rubs or fingers it feels good but 30ish seconds later it’s like a switch flipped and it gets very uncomfortable. I ask my boyfriend to stop and he very quickly stops and we started cuddling. Today he asked me what was wrong and if he was doing anything wrong and i said i wasn’t sure. This also happens sometimes when we are making out and the feeling of kissing randomly makes me feel sick and my boyfriend is always respectful and stops when i ask. I am slightly on the spectrum (i only say this because im not sure if it connects or not) and some feelings and textures really make me uncomfortable.

could this just be my autism or am i asexual or were we just doing something wrong?

https://redd.it/1o52i53
@asexualityonreddit