Has it happened to you?
I don't know if I'm the only one, but it's funny that when I see a woman in Instagram photos and she's dressed in an attractive way it makes me sexually attracted (not sexual desire, just attraction) whether I know her in real life or not, but if I see her in real life all that disappears
https://redd.it/1nxgv0l
@asexualityonreddit
I don't know if I'm the only one, but it's funny that when I see a woman in Instagram photos and she's dressed in an attractive way it makes me sexually attracted (not sexual desire, just attraction) whether I know her in real life or not, but if I see her in real life all that disappears
https://redd.it/1nxgv0l
@asexualityonreddit
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Am I asexual?
So I’m 18 and I’ve been questioning this for a while and I figured posting on here would be the best way to get advice and answers.
I’ve been questioning wether or not I’m asexual for a while since I have little to no interest in the actual act but I’m ok with some forms of physical intimacy, and as a kid I was never curious about my body and things like when I was told being curious was normal.
Sometimes I feel certain things when reading really spicy fanfics but have never felt the want to do ‘it’ with anyone or felt aroused by another person.
But I have SA trauma from when I was around 10, and that has caused breakdowns after trying certain things with people. I have never initiated any sensual acts I’ve been involved with and the sight or thought of certain male body parts kind of disgusts me, but that might be partially because of my trauma.
I feel like the identity asexual fits for me but I’m not sure if I’m asexual or just traumatised or if I can be both.
Just a little more context I am pansexual, so I have like all genders including men so that’s not why certain male body parts kind of disgust me.
I would really appreciate some advice and some answers because I’ve been struggling with this a little.
https://redd.it/1nxhbn9
@asexualityonreddit
So I’m 18 and I’ve been questioning this for a while and I figured posting on here would be the best way to get advice and answers.
I’ve been questioning wether or not I’m asexual for a while since I have little to no interest in the actual act but I’m ok with some forms of physical intimacy, and as a kid I was never curious about my body and things like when I was told being curious was normal.
Sometimes I feel certain things when reading really spicy fanfics but have never felt the want to do ‘it’ with anyone or felt aroused by another person.
But I have SA trauma from when I was around 10, and that has caused breakdowns after trying certain things with people. I have never initiated any sensual acts I’ve been involved with and the sight or thought of certain male body parts kind of disgusts me, but that might be partially because of my trauma.
I feel like the identity asexual fits for me but I’m not sure if I’m asexual or just traumatised or if I can be both.
Just a little more context I am pansexual, so I have like all genders including men so that’s not why certain male body parts kind of disgust me.
I would really appreciate some advice and some answers because I’ve been struggling with this a little.
https://redd.it/1nxhbn9
@asexualityonreddit
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Hard to find ace lesbians
Really hard to meet other ace lesbians. Everytime I find one on an app or discord or forum they ghost me or just don’t reply. I don’t know why they’re like this? I have yet to ever date an ace lesbian. It’s really frustrating. Sometimes I wonder if I should move to a bigger, more diverse city and I’ll find them? I’ve only ever been dating allo lesbians and it’s frustrating and heartbreaking because the dealbreaker always comes down to sex. Yet I long for everything else that comes in a relationship; intimacy, physical touch, communication. I don’t even mind having sex if the other person is getting pleasure out of it, I just don’t. I’m really frustrated that the world places so much importance on sex and no matter how much I try to “fix” myself, the wiring just isn’t there. I’ve tried hormones, therapy, I’ve tried getting into kink, tried toys, whatever else. I just don’t get aroused, I just don’t enjoy sex. Yet I want intimacy so badly, I want to experience a relationship so badly.
Are there any ace lesbians out there who actually want a relationship and who’ll actually respond to messages?
https://redd.it/1nxlrqd
@asexualityonreddit
Really hard to meet other ace lesbians. Everytime I find one on an app or discord or forum they ghost me or just don’t reply. I don’t know why they’re like this? I have yet to ever date an ace lesbian. It’s really frustrating. Sometimes I wonder if I should move to a bigger, more diverse city and I’ll find them? I’ve only ever been dating allo lesbians and it’s frustrating and heartbreaking because the dealbreaker always comes down to sex. Yet I long for everything else that comes in a relationship; intimacy, physical touch, communication. I don’t even mind having sex if the other person is getting pleasure out of it, I just don’t. I’m really frustrated that the world places so much importance on sex and no matter how much I try to “fix” myself, the wiring just isn’t there. I’ve tried hormones, therapy, I’ve tried getting into kink, tried toys, whatever else. I just don’t get aroused, I just don’t enjoy sex. Yet I want intimacy so badly, I want to experience a relationship so badly.
Are there any ace lesbians out there who actually want a relationship and who’ll actually respond to messages?
https://redd.it/1nxlrqd
@asexualityonreddit
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Aceapp trouble
I've been trying to log in for weeks but Aceapp just won't let me no matter what I do! I even tried to uninstall it and install it again, but it's impossible. I tried contacting the help email address but apparently it doesn't exist so the emails aren't getting to them!!! I don't know what else to do.
https://redd.it/1nxmjn3
@asexualityonreddit
I've been trying to log in for weeks but Aceapp just won't let me no matter what I do! I even tried to uninstall it and install it again, but it's impossible. I tried contacting the help email address but apparently it doesn't exist so the emails aren't getting to them!!! I don't know what else to do.
https://redd.it/1nxmjn3
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can i be sexually attracted to someone while still being repulsed by the actual idea of having sex with them?
i’m so so so confused right now; i have no clue if im asexual or not because yes i do masterbait on occasion and yes some people i do think like oh my they look so good but the actual idea of having sex? god no please keep that far away from me, i find it so painful and not fun in the slightest. ive had some friends say it just hasn’t been done right or that i dont have enough experience 😭 does anyone have any advice
apologies if i wrote this wrong
https://redd.it/1nxqml0
@asexualityonreddit
i’m so so so confused right now; i have no clue if im asexual or not because yes i do masterbait on occasion and yes some people i do think like oh my they look so good but the actual idea of having sex? god no please keep that far away from me, i find it so painful and not fun in the slightest. ive had some friends say it just hasn’t been done right or that i dont have enough experience 😭 does anyone have any advice
apologies if i wrote this wrong
https://redd.it/1nxqml0
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How do I explain asexual and aromantic to a straight guy
My poor buddy doesn't understand. Hes supportive, has a bunch of queer friends. But when it comes to the As, he doesn't understand.
He does try. He wants to understand asexual and aromantic. I've tried to explain the difference between attractions, but I am ADHD and autistic so explaining things verbally isn't my strong suit. Never has been. He is also ADHD so he has a bit of a learning curve like I do. I've tried to explain how my relationship works with my person. They're aroace and adore me deeply. Im very much head over heels for them and they know it. But they're aromantic and have explained in the past that they lack to capacity to reciprocate. (Totally fine btw, theyre my bff and I respect the hell out of them.) While trying to explain he called it a situationship and I laughed because that's not it all. And I struggled to try and explain it again, but he doesn't understand it, even though he is supportive and trying.
He really gets stuck on aromantic. "Are they able to feel emotions?" And he did feel bad for that comment afterward and took it back. He doesn't understand how someone can't connect romantically with someone else at all. And I'm having a hard time explaining it.
Asexuality he doesn't understand but sort of gets but gets confused about.
I just lack words trying to explain them to a straight guy who is trying his hardest to understand and learn.
https://redd.it/1nxs6mh
@asexualityonreddit
My poor buddy doesn't understand. Hes supportive, has a bunch of queer friends. But when it comes to the As, he doesn't understand.
He does try. He wants to understand asexual and aromantic. I've tried to explain the difference between attractions, but I am ADHD and autistic so explaining things verbally isn't my strong suit. Never has been. He is also ADHD so he has a bit of a learning curve like I do. I've tried to explain how my relationship works with my person. They're aroace and adore me deeply. Im very much head over heels for them and they know it. But they're aromantic and have explained in the past that they lack to capacity to reciprocate. (Totally fine btw, theyre my bff and I respect the hell out of them.) While trying to explain he called it a situationship and I laughed because that's not it all. And I struggled to try and explain it again, but he doesn't understand it, even though he is supportive and trying.
He really gets stuck on aromantic. "Are they able to feel emotions?" And he did feel bad for that comment afterward and took it back. He doesn't understand how someone can't connect romantically with someone else at all. And I'm having a hard time explaining it.
Asexuality he doesn't understand but sort of gets but gets confused about.
I just lack words trying to explain them to a straight guy who is trying his hardest to understand and learn.
https://redd.it/1nxs6mh
@asexualityonreddit
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It's crazy how much I've developed after learning I'm ace
Society tought me I should experience something special, something magical... I've heard many stories of people doing crazy stuff, stuff that I find irresponsible and could not understand.. For the longest time I tought "what's wrong with me"...
I had no idea asexuality was a thing. It might sound crazy, but I had only heard of gay, bi and queer. It's only around 30 years old that I saw everyone with the flags and I wanted to know more out of respect and wanting to be supportive. Never I had known I'd be in for a ride!
So I read about every flag and tried to remember them, I came across the ace flag it sounded familiar, shocking.. I was thrown into a rabbit hole! It's when I first stepped into this subreddit, checked the pin that directed me about everything ace is. I laughed, I was bewildered, asked my best friends to elaborate on their experiences and compared to mine.. It was so clear!
It's when I stopped waiting for something special and decided to experience life as it is. Not only am I less sad about my romantic life, I have become kinder to the people I see being reckless. I stopped waiting and began exploring, driven by curiosity, I am an open investigation to which I keep finding new pieces to play with. And now I know how to approach romance the day I'll feel ready, I'll be honest and wait for someone who crave as much of a partnership as I do.
I won't be waiting for something 'special' anymore, because now I know what truly is special for me!
https://redd.it/1nxrpkv
@asexualityonreddit
Society tought me I should experience something special, something magical... I've heard many stories of people doing crazy stuff, stuff that I find irresponsible and could not understand.. For the longest time I tought "what's wrong with me"...
I had no idea asexuality was a thing. It might sound crazy, but I had only heard of gay, bi and queer. It's only around 30 years old that I saw everyone with the flags and I wanted to know more out of respect and wanting to be supportive. Never I had known I'd be in for a ride!
So I read about every flag and tried to remember them, I came across the ace flag it sounded familiar, shocking.. I was thrown into a rabbit hole! It's when I first stepped into this subreddit, checked the pin that directed me about everything ace is. I laughed, I was bewildered, asked my best friends to elaborate on their experiences and compared to mine.. It was so clear!
It's when I stopped waiting for something special and decided to experience life as it is. Not only am I less sad about my romantic life, I have become kinder to the people I see being reckless. I stopped waiting and began exploring, driven by curiosity, I am an open investigation to which I keep finding new pieces to play with. And now I know how to approach romance the day I'll feel ready, I'll be honest and wait for someone who crave as much of a partnership as I do.
I won't be waiting for something 'special' anymore, because now I know what truly is special for me!
https://redd.it/1nxrpkv
@asexualityonreddit
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Do asexual people find sex disgusting?
I was wondering recently about how asexual relationships are with a partner whos not asexual. Like for example, do any of you guys go through with sex, even if you dont desire it, just for the sake of making your partner feel good? Thanks for the answers!
https://redd.it/1nxol0w
@asexualityonreddit
I was wondering recently about how asexual relationships are with a partner whos not asexual. Like for example, do any of you guys go through with sex, even if you dont desire it, just for the sake of making your partner feel good? Thanks for the answers!
https://redd.it/1nxol0w
@asexualityonreddit
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Where are the asexual men?
I (22F) am writing a paper about the misrepresentation of asexuality in modern media, and saw a study on the gender ratio of Asexual people.
It stated that 27% of ace people identify as female and 72% identify as queergender or non binary.
As an ace person, I thought it unlikely that there are no male asexual people, but when I started thinking about it, I've never actually talked to one (granted, I don't talk to many people, but still)
If you're comfortable, would you comment on what gender you identify with so I can mentally throw this study into the trash can?
https://redd.it/1nxzhjp
@asexualityonreddit
I (22F) am writing a paper about the misrepresentation of asexuality in modern media, and saw a study on the gender ratio of Asexual people.
It stated that 27% of ace people identify as female and 72% identify as queergender or non binary.
As an ace person, I thought it unlikely that there are no male asexual people, but when I started thinking about it, I've never actually talked to one (granted, I don't talk to many people, but still)
If you're comfortable, would you comment on what gender you identify with so I can mentally throw this study into the trash can?
https://redd.it/1nxzhjp
@asexualityonreddit
ace ≠ not having sex... yeah...
maybe it’s a silly thing, but it bothers me a little, because in my case it came up in a discussion about a character.
the point is that he was called asexual, and that actually means a lot to me, because he’s my favorite character, and i feel some kind of stronger connection with him.
but the thing is, many people immediately responded with “actually, being asexual doesn’t mean you don’t have sex at all.” and i get it, yeah, that’s true. but for some people it does mean not having sex at all. i don’t forbid anyone to ship anyone.
but for some asexuals, it really does mean not having sex at all. and it feels a little like there are “right” asexuals, the ones who, if anything, might have sex sometimes, and people look at them and say, oh, they’re just people who don’t always want it, well i don’t always want it either, they’re normal.
and then there are the others, the ones who don’t have sex at all, and those get treated like freaks.
mmm… well yeah, i’m a freak.
https://redd.it/1ny0vvm
@asexualityonreddit
maybe it’s a silly thing, but it bothers me a little, because in my case it came up in a discussion about a character.
the point is that he was called asexual, and that actually means a lot to me, because he’s my favorite character, and i feel some kind of stronger connection with him.
but the thing is, many people immediately responded with “actually, being asexual doesn’t mean you don’t have sex at all.” and i get it, yeah, that’s true. but for some people it does mean not having sex at all. i don’t forbid anyone to ship anyone.
but for some asexuals, it really does mean not having sex at all. and it feels a little like there are “right” asexuals, the ones who, if anything, might have sex sometimes, and people look at them and say, oh, they’re just people who don’t always want it, well i don’t always want it either, they’re normal.
and then there are the others, the ones who don’t have sex at all, and those get treated like freaks.
mmm… well yeah, i’m a freak.
https://redd.it/1ny0vvm
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Do any fellow (aro)aces find it kinda hilarious when...
...you express a complete disinterest in dating/relationships and people still think you'll change your mind once you meet the "right person" ? I mean I know some people get offended or annoyed when others doubt their choices/beliefs but honestly it's just funny to me. Because it's like sorry to burst your bubble Karen but I'm 29, I've ALWAYS been this way and I guarantee you I don't feel like I'm missing out AT ALL XD There are things people DO change their minds about, for sure, but sexuality (at least for most people) seems pretty fixed. Like people can change their political stance, or their religion, or their career, or flip/flop on whether or not to have children, but if I made it almost 3 decades without even actively trying to date anyone? Then take the hint hahaha
(Note that nobody close to me has done this, like my immediate family and friends are fine they don't gaf, but the few times I've heard it from relatives or friends' parents/parents' friends, it's hilarious because these people have known me for years...though to be fair asexuality isn't as widely understood which is why I don't take offense and just find it amusing)
https://redd.it/1ny8yjd
@asexualityonreddit
...you express a complete disinterest in dating/relationships and people still think you'll change your mind once you meet the "right person" ? I mean I know some people get offended or annoyed when others doubt their choices/beliefs but honestly it's just funny to me. Because it's like sorry to burst your bubble Karen but I'm 29, I've ALWAYS been this way and I guarantee you I don't feel like I'm missing out AT ALL XD There are things people DO change their minds about, for sure, but sexuality (at least for most people) seems pretty fixed. Like people can change their political stance, or their religion, or their career, or flip/flop on whether or not to have children, but if I made it almost 3 decades without even actively trying to date anyone? Then take the hint hahaha
(Note that nobody close to me has done this, like my immediate family and friends are fine they don't gaf, but the few times I've heard it from relatives or friends' parents/parents' friends, it's hilarious because these people have known me for years...though to be fair asexuality isn't as widely understood which is why I don't take offense and just find it amusing)
https://redd.it/1ny8yjd
@asexualityonreddit
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My culture/ family forcing me to doing it
Hello guys, talking about this is very hard and honestly I need advice. TW: sex mentioned many times
I am a female asexual, and I am still a virgin. Here where I live sex is very normal and everyone expects you to have it (even earlier than my age)… I met a boy who seems to have LOT of sexual attraction towards me but the first time he started kissing me i got scared and left. (It was during the summer). For context, my parents, my whole family, friends has been nagging me and asking me whether i am still a virgin. I dont have any sexual attraction towards this guy (nor towards anyone lol) but if i leave now, block him i dont know when i will have the next chance of loosing my virginity, as everyone demands..
I am not sex averse, I masturbate and stuff but when he started kissing me the first time i got very scared. As I dont have any sexual attraction I feel like i only want to do it so i can just say I am not a virgin anymore. I dont think i would want to do it again and lying about it is not an option. Also I feel like I personally want to try it out at least once (maybe because of cultures pressure, my family, friends), but I am still very scared, his force, how he acts when aroused.. i have looked for first time experiences and every female had said that it is very painful for the first time… but still if I just block him, i dont know when i will have the next chance, and i am already way older than what is the expected age of loosing virginity around here… i need advice, sorry if I am very weird
https://redd.it/1ny75qy
@asexualityonreddit
Hello guys, talking about this is very hard and honestly I need advice. TW: sex mentioned many times
I am a female asexual, and I am still a virgin. Here where I live sex is very normal and everyone expects you to have it (even earlier than my age)… I met a boy who seems to have LOT of sexual attraction towards me but the first time he started kissing me i got scared and left. (It was during the summer). For context, my parents, my whole family, friends has been nagging me and asking me whether i am still a virgin. I dont have any sexual attraction towards this guy (nor towards anyone lol) but if i leave now, block him i dont know when i will have the next chance of loosing my virginity, as everyone demands..
I am not sex averse, I masturbate and stuff but when he started kissing me the first time i got very scared. As I dont have any sexual attraction I feel like i only want to do it so i can just say I am not a virgin anymore. I dont think i would want to do it again and lying about it is not an option. Also I feel like I personally want to try it out at least once (maybe because of cultures pressure, my family, friends), but I am still very scared, his force, how he acts when aroused.. i have looked for first time experiences and every female had said that it is very painful for the first time… but still if I just block him, i dont know when i will have the next chance, and i am already way older than what is the expected age of loosing virginity around here… i need advice, sorry if I am very weird
https://redd.it/1ny75qy
@asexualityonreddit
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Being strictly ace4ace is not not fun lol
It's not like I NEED a relationship, I'm perfectly fine without one, I'm aroace, but I still WANT one, y'know? I'm back on acespace but there are no men in my city and barely any in my state and I'm unwilling to do a long distance relationship since the whole point of me wanting a relationship is to have my physical needs (kissing, cuddling, etc) met
I'm thinking my only other options would be to either do a bunch of free advertisment for acespace in my city to try and extend the dating pool, or make/join a discord server and see what happens, but that sounds like it'd be even less fruitful
Are any of y'all in an ace4ace relationship? If so, how'd you meet your partner?
https://redd.it/1nybpzv
@asexualityonreddit
It's not like I NEED a relationship, I'm perfectly fine without one, I'm aroace, but I still WANT one, y'know? I'm back on acespace but there are no men in my city and barely any in my state and I'm unwilling to do a long distance relationship since the whole point of me wanting a relationship is to have my physical needs (kissing, cuddling, etc) met
I'm thinking my only other options would be to either do a bunch of free advertisment for acespace in my city to try and extend the dating pool, or make/join a discord server and see what happens, but that sounds like it'd be even less fruitful
Are any of y'all in an ace4ace relationship? If so, how'd you meet your partner?
https://redd.it/1nybpzv
@asexualityonreddit
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