Allo partner asked me to initiate sex more often
Hello! I am a sex-neutral ace in a relationship with an allosexual partner. We've both had a sexually abusive past. However, sex is rather complicated for the both of us. They are hypersexual and I practically never initiate. I do want to mention that we really really really honour our "No"s. At no point if I'm not up for it, or if they are not up for it, do we ever push each other.
I do understand that being with me can be sexually not satisfying, and in some ways limiting as to what I can or can't do.
We recently had a conversation where they asked me to initiate more, and that they would like to seek sex outside our relationship. I have no jealousy as long as their hookups are purely sexual and hence I'm open to that idea.
I told them I am fine with them initiating, and if it's too much for me on that day, I can always let them know that I'm not up for it, as we have done so far. They said that they feel like they are only ones initiating and that's not a great feeling, hence it would be nice if I could initiate too. At that point in time, I said okay I can try that; however I'm feeling unsure now, because i literally never want sex. If I can avoid it, I will avoid it. But if they are willing to initiate, I'm happy to play along and indulge in it as an act of service.
I'm not sure if I'm wrong in feeling this. And I'm not sure how to navigate this conversation. I didn't like it that they asked me to initiate more. Idk, I'm ace? I don't want sex? Should it not be bare minimum to not ask me this? Or am I just being a prick and not understanding their side, because I do get it that if they are the only ones initiating it can feel like they are not wanted (but they really are not wanted, sexually ;;).
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Hello! I am a sex-neutral ace in a relationship with an allosexual partner. We've both had a sexually abusive past. However, sex is rather complicated for the both of us. They are hypersexual and I practically never initiate. I do want to mention that we really really really honour our "No"s. At no point if I'm not up for it, or if they are not up for it, do we ever push each other.
I do understand that being with me can be sexually not satisfying, and in some ways limiting as to what I can or can't do.
We recently had a conversation where they asked me to initiate more, and that they would like to seek sex outside our relationship. I have no jealousy as long as their hookups are purely sexual and hence I'm open to that idea.
I told them I am fine with them initiating, and if it's too much for me on that day, I can always let them know that I'm not up for it, as we have done so far. They said that they feel like they are only ones initiating and that's not a great feeling, hence it would be nice if I could initiate too. At that point in time, I said okay I can try that; however I'm feeling unsure now, because i literally never want sex. If I can avoid it, I will avoid it. But if they are willing to initiate, I'm happy to play along and indulge in it as an act of service.
I'm not sure if I'm wrong in feeling this. And I'm not sure how to navigate this conversation. I didn't like it that they asked me to initiate more. Idk, I'm ace? I don't want sex? Should it not be bare minimum to not ask me this? Or am I just being a prick and not understanding their side, because I do get it that if they are the only ones initiating it can feel like they are not wanted (but they really are not wanted, sexually ;;).
https://redd.it/1mr2zxb
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Bf is asexual and so am I!
Just wanted to share this wonderful moment with you all.
A few days ago my boyfriend sat me down, said he had something important to tell me. He had a whole cute speech prepared about how he found out he was asexual, and how he hoped this wouldn’t change things between us and he understood if I wanted kids someday then maybe he’d be willing to try, and I stopped him right there. I was smiling ridiculously at that point which I’m sure was confusing for him. I told him I don't want to have s3x, ever.
I just can’t believe how lucky we both got.
https://redd.it/1mr47aw
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Just wanted to share this wonderful moment with you all.
A few days ago my boyfriend sat me down, said he had something important to tell me. He had a whole cute speech prepared about how he found out he was asexual, and how he hoped this wouldn’t change things between us and he understood if I wanted kids someday then maybe he’d be willing to try, and I stopped him right there. I was smiling ridiculously at that point which I’m sure was confusing for him. I told him I don't want to have s3x, ever.
I just can’t believe how lucky we both got.
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My boyfriend wants sex more often and I can't give it to him
Hello, I am new here and I would like you to help me inform myself more about what is happening to me, what I have been informing myself about and what is closest to what I feel is a gray asexuality.
I am 27 years old and whenever I have had a partner I have felt that sex is not necessary in the relationship, I feel happy only with the romantic connection, on very rare occasions to be honest 1 or 2 times a month I feel like having sex. This has always brought me problems with my partners, because of course they want to have sex every day. There was a moment where I thought it might be that I wouldn't like men and I decided to try a woman and I still didn't feel sexual attraction.
My current partner, so to speak, is too hot and no matter how much I would like to, I cannot respond to him in the same way.
This is causing me problems because I love him and want to have a family with him, but he doesn't understand how I never have desires and he has even asked me if I feel disgust for him and I don't, I just can't find a way to explain to him what I have always felt and for him to understand me.
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@asexualityonreddit
Hello, I am new here and I would like you to help me inform myself more about what is happening to me, what I have been informing myself about and what is closest to what I feel is a gray asexuality.
I am 27 years old and whenever I have had a partner I have felt that sex is not necessary in the relationship, I feel happy only with the romantic connection, on very rare occasions to be honest 1 or 2 times a month I feel like having sex. This has always brought me problems with my partners, because of course they want to have sex every day. There was a moment where I thought it might be that I wouldn't like men and I decided to try a woman and I still didn't feel sexual attraction.
My current partner, so to speak, is too hot and no matter how much I would like to, I cannot respond to him in the same way.
This is causing me problems because I love him and want to have a family with him, but he doesn't understand how I never have desires and he has even asked me if I feel disgust for him and I don't, I just can't find a way to explain to him what I have always felt and for him to understand me.
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Gynaecologist??
Heyyy!
Okay, so..idk how to start this, sorry. Whenever someone mentions going to the gynaecologist I feel a deep sense of disgust and feel borderline nauseous.
Every time the topic is brought up I imagine just being looked and poked at. It makes me feel uncomfortable and something I don’t think I could ever handle.
I just wanted to see if this is normal within the ace community? Or if others experience this visceral reaction to a something I would deem to be a normal part of life.
It’s a reaction I genuinely struggle to control. Ther are def other factors to this(I think so anyway), but I feel this could also be involved with being ace?
https://redd.it/1mr9v4t
@asexualityonreddit
Heyyy!
Okay, so..idk how to start this, sorry. Whenever someone mentions going to the gynaecologist I feel a deep sense of disgust and feel borderline nauseous.
Every time the topic is brought up I imagine just being looked and poked at. It makes me feel uncomfortable and something I don’t think I could ever handle.
I just wanted to see if this is normal within the ace community? Or if others experience this visceral reaction to a something I would deem to be a normal part of life.
It’s a reaction I genuinely struggle to control. Ther are def other factors to this(I think so anyway), but I feel this could also be involved with being ace?
https://redd.it/1mr9v4t
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How I learned to stop lying to myself and love being an Ace Sex meh.
Ok saw a similar post telling their journey with the Ace spectrum and so here is mine.
Warning I talk about sex but nothing graphic
At about age 12 I was staying at a cousin's house and I wanted to read so the only thing I hadn't read was the playboy. It needed less pictures and more articles. I told myself I just preferred the real thing over pictures.
When I was in my early 20s I realized I didn't really care about having sex I wanted the cuddles and discussions. I told myself I just enjoyed making the women happy. I was also really lonely and I wanted connections and happy women tend to stay longer.
In my mid 20s I was hanging out with this woman and she mentioned having nipple piercings I had never seen those before and so she showed me. I examined the piercings while asking questions about the process and how easy was it to change them and how did you keep the holes clean.
It took a therapist to help me realize that woman probably went home frustrated and very confused.
I eventually learned at 31 that my idea of attraction wasn't sexual and a new word asexual. I finally stopped lying to myself and looked back with new eyes.
I had the talk with my partner about being ace and for reasons I don't understand she has stuck with me even after 10 years.
So that's my journey I guess.
https://redd.it/1mrc16o
@asexualityonreddit
Ok saw a similar post telling their journey with the Ace spectrum and so here is mine.
Warning I talk about sex but nothing graphic
At about age 12 I was staying at a cousin's house and I wanted to read so the only thing I hadn't read was the playboy. It needed less pictures and more articles. I told myself I just preferred the real thing over pictures.
When I was in my early 20s I realized I didn't really care about having sex I wanted the cuddles and discussions. I told myself I just enjoyed making the women happy. I was also really lonely and I wanted connections and happy women tend to stay longer.
In my mid 20s I was hanging out with this woman and she mentioned having nipple piercings I had never seen those before and so she showed me. I examined the piercings while asking questions about the process and how easy was it to change them and how did you keep the holes clean.
It took a therapist to help me realize that woman probably went home frustrated and very confused.
I eventually learned at 31 that my idea of attraction wasn't sexual and a new word asexual. I finally stopped lying to myself and looked back with new eyes.
I had the talk with my partner about being ace and for reasons I don't understand she has stuck with me even after 10 years.
So that's my journey I guess.
https://redd.it/1mrc16o
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Its liberating to be confident in what i am
i have struggled a good part of my life with this but When i did accept it finally, it honestly was really liberating. It might sound like an over stretch haha but it is what it is. I love myself and I want you to love yourslef too
https://redd.it/1mr438q
@asexualityonreddit
i have struggled a good part of my life with this but When i did accept it finally, it honestly was really liberating. It might sound like an over stretch haha but it is what it is. I love myself and I want you to love yourslef too
https://redd.it/1mr438q
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“Actual” Asexuals think our label is a random thought and we are gray sexuals .
https://www.reddit.com/gallery/1mr48gh
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From the aegosexuals community on Reddit: “Actual” Asexuals think our label is a random thought and we are gray sexuals .
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My kid identifies as ACE. I have concerns
My adult kid tells me they're aro/ace. I have no problem with this in general, any more than if they were some other letter in the LGBTQIA string. They're mid-level autistic if that makes any difference.
I do have one concern, though. My wife is my companion much more than a sexual partner. Sex is part of what we do as a couple but, when you're our age, marriage is much more about cooperation & companionship than it's about our genitalia.
How many asexuals have companionship relationships? My worry isn't that they're not going to have sex. My worry is they'll simply be lonely.
https://redd.it/1mr6bn7
@asexualityonreddit
My adult kid tells me they're aro/ace. I have no problem with this in general, any more than if they were some other letter in the LGBTQIA string. They're mid-level autistic if that makes any difference.
I do have one concern, though. My wife is my companion much more than a sexual partner. Sex is part of what we do as a couple but, when you're our age, marriage is much more about cooperation & companionship than it's about our genitalia.
How many asexuals have companionship relationships? My worry isn't that they're not going to have sex. My worry is they'll simply be lonely.
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Really enjoying this book I'm reading (The Lost War), this caught me by surprise
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My first pride month gear came in a little late. Still happy though!
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Found a homophobic slur in Portuguese next to an ace pride flag in WPlace
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So asexuals. If there is an annoying creature that keeps telling you ‘’ You are missing out’’ bc of your sexuality. Then SHOW THEM WHAT THEY ARE MISSING OUT ON
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From the asexuality community on Reddit: So asexuals. If there is an annoying creature that keeps telling you ‘’ You are missing…
Posted by YourRandomManiac - 22 votes and 3 comments