Am I asexual?

Hey Reddit, this is my first post, kinda nervous..
I’m 17, female, bisexual, and finished with high school. But I’ve never really had a boyfriend and I’ve only had a long distance girlfriend back in 2020.
Recently I was talking with my friends and we were sharing our guilty pleasures and they all agreed on masturbation but mine was watching dumbass mukbangs at night..so while they’re wanking it I’m watching this random woman I’ve never met eat candied chipotle—pathetic i know.
Anyway, I’ve been thinking a lot about if im asexual or aromantic or whatever it’s called and I just dont know.
When I was 14 I used to read a lot of Wattpad and would get the tingles, but never acted on them. I think sometimes nowadays I get them but when I try to masterbait I just get awkward and feel a sense of guilt and disgust. I’m not religious, nor have I ever been taught that sex was wrong, but I did used to get very uncomfortable with the topic and sometimes still do. My parents were never romantically physical because my father wasn’t the greatest person and they had an extremely messy divorce.
The last time I talked to a boy was almost a year ago, since then I haven’t had any romantic feelings for anyone else. In my life I think I’ve had maybe 5 REAL crushes but I do know I DID want something with someone at one point and have had dreams about sexual fantasies.
Sorry if this like super TMI btw, I just literally have nobody to talk to about this because I feel like such a loser and it’s just an uncomfortable topic for me.
Can yall help me though? Ask me any questions if it helps with what conclusion you come up with, please I NEED help.


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@asexualityonreddit

I'm a jester and I hate it!

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Am I Asexual?

If you are questioning whether or not you are asexual (including all microlabels), reply to this post with what made you start questioning, and why.

If you are too shy to post a reply, then you can scroll through the responses for the advice you may be searching for.

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@asexualityonreddit

Just learned a fact about how most people feel regarding sex. Anyone else think the same?

Feeling confused. I was having a conversation with a friend about how the way sex is portrayed in media (How sex drives everyone, characters in movies have sex multiple times a week, sex is super important, etc.). I mentioned how I found it is unrealistic that people would do it that often. Apparently, most people do have sex often like this. I thought it was portrayed in this manner to be comedic because having sex that often is ridiculous, but apparently it is to be relatable. Am I the only one who thought this?

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@asexualityonreddit

What type of asexuality is this?

I know this is on the spectrum but it would be cool to know where I belong on it.

Basically, I still get attracted to the body of a female (I’m male) but I do not experience any form of sexual desire, sex drive, or even interest in sexual activity at all and find the idea completely repulsive and disgusting. I even find the concept of p*rn absolutely disgusting.



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@asexualityonreddit

Denmark Invasion on wplace, anyone?

Let’s invade Denmark on wplace!
I thought about a big Flag or something.
Other ideas very welcome.

https://wplace.live/

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@asexualityonreddit

Can I be Asexual if I’ve experienced attraction before?

So growing up, I thought something was wrong with me because I had 0 attraction to guys (and girls) when all my friends were talking about crushes and that. I just faked a lot because I didn’t know what else to do and felt broken. I didn’t experience physical attraction to someone until I was maybe 18 or 19, and it was only a brief moment, then it passed. Then again once when I was 24, then it passed. I’ve dated and slept with people and I definitely have a super high drive, but I just generally don’t experience attraction.

The possibility of being Asexual at all is a new concept to me because for a long time, I thought that it meant that you also don’t have a drive or libido, since two Aces I know are that way. Bottom line: I’m not sure where I stand since I’ve experienced attraction in my life. I’m just super confused and want answers, and hopefully someone who understands me.

Thanks! 🖤🩶💙💜

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"CompSex"

I was thinking about how many of us in the queer community use the term "CompHet" as a short hand for Compulsory Heterosexuality, or the social pressure to be in a heterosexual relationship.

Ace-specs are already subjected to this pressure, but we also experience additional social pressure even in spaces without CompHet. I can't tell you how many lesbians have offered to "fix" me.

I came across the term "compulsory sexuality" in a paper on asexual-affirming healthcare. Up to 50% of healthcare providers hold a bias of compulsory sexuality.

So I hereby propose we use the term "CompSex" to describe the ubiquitous social pressure to be sexual.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

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Am I aroace or just asexual 🙏🙏

Hi I know this may sound weird, but I’ve been questioning my sexuality for a while. So uhm yeah this rant is basically the title. Someone from the aroace community suggested that I ask this here so this is the rant:

I know that I don’t like men romantically or sexually, and I think if I would have to go with being involved with someone it would definitely be a woman.

I’ve looked at woman before and thought „waow she’s pretty” and I’ve had dreams / daydreams about cuddling with woman before. But here’s where it gets weird for me, I have a friend ( I’ll call her v) and I’ve been in a relationship with her before but we decided we’re better friends. Idk if I had feelings for her ( or still do but I’ll get into that later ) because I think I may have ejust adored her. I always thought that she was very pretty and that her art was amazing. Like shes genuinely beautiful.

Now, I think that about all my friends but she was different, like idk how to explain it, I don’t think it was a crush tho, because I never wanted to do much with her ( like really romantic stuff, just hugs and forehead kisses ). Unfortunately these feelings have resurfaced and idk if I’m not aroace or if there is a term to describe this.

Holy rant my bad 🙇🙇 and if you know anything about this please help me in going through a crisis 🙏🙏

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I’m asexual and aromantic. Here’s what university was like for me
https://www.thetimes.com/uk/education/article/student-guide-asexual-hook-up-culture-bq2cbdpgf?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Reddit#Echobox=1754999861

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@asexualityonreddit

I’m asexual and aromantic. Here’s what university was like for me
https://www.thetimes.com/uk/education/article/student-guide-asexual-hook-up-culture-bq2cbdpgf?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Reddit#Echobox=1754999861

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@asexualityonreddit

I literally cannot differentiate horny and tired.

So when I occasionally get horny (usually just randomly or related to ovulation cycle), I almost always assume I'm just really tired and go to take a nap. Then I can't sleep, so I try masturbating instead. Like, I truly cannot tell the difference between the feelings. Does anyone else feel this way?

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I'm tired of Compsex!

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Global warming. Global warming. Global warming.
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@asexualityonreddit

My mom is homophobic

My mom has been homophobic my whole life and even before that according to my older siblings. She says that Obama and gay people are the devil in a derogatory way and says to read the bible because according to her interpretation it says God dosen't love gay people and it is a sin to be anything except straight. I came out to her as autosexual and i said it means i love myself in a romantic and sexual way and she says "everybody love themself". And i said not in that way and she calls me crazy and blames it on my schizophrenia. I told her i like boys too because I am also pansexual and she says thats why you went to the mental hospital and that it comes from schizophrenia. I tell her God loves gay people and people are born like that, its not a choice. Then she says it is a choice that people think like that and that no one is born gay. Then she says thats why God made Adam and Eve and thats why gay people are the devil because God did not make gay people but he made only man and woman to love eachother in that way because of Adam and Eve... My older sis said it is pointless to talk to her about pretty much anything and I agree, my mom is a narcicist and is racist, acephobic and homophobic, she hates pretty much anyone who is not heterosexual and believes that not being straight is going against God. She makes the rest of the family so upset and angry including me every day. Should I just give her the silent treatment for the rest of my life, what should I do? She'll force me to talk to her by taking away my belongings, etc. I can't stand her bullcrap.

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Starting a relationship with an asexual, thoughtful girl — first time for me with someone like this, and it’s her first relationship ever. Need advice!

Hey Reddit, I’m in a new situation and could really use some advice or perspective.

I recently got closer to a girl who’s asexual (or at least believes she is), very thoughtful, and someone who carefully thinks things through before making decisions. We’ve been friends and talk a lot.

At one point, she joked about us getting married, and I joked back that we should at least go on a couple of dates first. Then she gave me a challenge: if I ever dreamed about us dating, that would mean we’re actually dating — no dates needed.

I told her I had that dream, and she said that means we’re now officially dating.

This isn’t my first relationship, but it would be my first with someone asexual and with her kind of thoughtful, measured nature. It’s also her very first relationship ever. Since she initiated it, it feels real but also a bit overwhelming.

I’m looking for advice on what to expect and how to approach this thoughtfully and respectfully. Has anyone been in a similar situation or have insights on building a meaningful relationship like this?


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@asexualityonreddit

Am I really demi?

I identify as biromantic demisexual,but sometimes I feel like an attention whore.Cause a voice in my head tells me "what if youre straight with more steps",it makes me anxious.
I just feel it's right for me,because ever since I was young I was awful with relationships.I just don't wanna be wrong about myself

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@asexualityonreddit

freud was a hack
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i hate being ace in the modern world

basically i (21nb) have been an asexual for all my life. ive never really had interest in sex or anything related to that. about a year ago i started going out on dates for the first time in my life and i quickly realized being ace (and nonbinary) is very difficult in dating.

every time ive met a new date ive tried my best being honest about my feelings and my wants but still i feel like im not being heard or taken seriously. i was born female and i absolutely hate my chest being sexualized by the people i go out with. it makes me feel so disgusted.

im constantly wondering if theres any innocent love left in the world or is lust and sex all there is? being in a relationship is so much more than that but no matter how much i do for someone my dates always end up turning me down once they realize im not interested in them that way.

theres a possibility i could be demisexual but i haven't had the chance to connect with someone deep enought to find out because people these days want to get intimate very soon and it turns me off completely.

maybe someone has same kinds of thoughs or has experienced something similar? also if youve found partners who are okay with not doing the deed id like to hear your story!

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@asexualityonreddit

I do be wearing it proudly
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@asexualityonreddit

Deep Aversion to Sex (Asexual, Religious) — Am I Alone in This?

I’ve been a very religious person and an actual asexual my whole life (26 years M, might not be relevant but conventionally good-looking) — asexual not due to low libido from medication, hormones etc, but simply never having any desire for sexual intimacy. in other words, asexuality is not a phase for me, but a reality and an existence. At 16, while other males/females were keen on going into bed with their sweethearts, I knew I was very different.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a deep, visceral disgust toward sexual situations such as — hookup culture, “friends with benefits,” sleeping around, and sex before marriage. This reaction is **the same regardless of whether it’s between gay couples, straight couples, etc**. I don’t feel as strongly about sex within marriage for others (while i still do not want to go through that), so I think my aversion comes from a mix of my asexual orientation, being a prude, my strong religious values regarding 'sex outside marriage'.

Recently, I’ve been increasingly disgusted by how pervasive sexual themes are in media and everyday life. These days I’m just like, *“Are people really that depraved?”* when I see:

* The *Bonnie Blue and 1000 Men* documentary
* The *S-Line* Korean drama showing sexual relationships between friends and colleagues, something I find unsettling because it would mirror what happens in real life, just without the “red lines” being visible to us.
* Public interviews where unmarried straight/gay people casually share and glorify their “body counts” "hookups" or answering interview questions "what position is your favorite, etc." "are you top or bottom"

The whole concept of 'being intimate' is embarrassing for me. And I find hearing about sex deeply repulsive. “Sex sells” culture makes it impossible to avoid. I’ve even worried people might assume I’m heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual — that implies a sexual attraction/action is present.

When I watched the Jubilee video *“Do All Asexuals Think the Same?”*, it really warmed my heart to see others who feel like me. It reminded me I’m not alone.

People might think I’m silly or overreacting. Does anyone else here feel the same or relate to the above?

I don't think a lot of people will understand me and it sucks that there aren't more asexual individuals in a world where most people are thinking about/craving 'sex'. My friends and family would think i am probably silly for feeling that way.

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