How do you go through life being a sex negative asexual?

I feel uncomfortrable even within asexual safe spaces sometimes.

I got my family harassing me and talking to me about uncomfortrable topics, when I was already doing well avoiding these topics of sex, while sometimes I go online for comfort when my family keep upsetting me, and I see more things about being sex positive than anything and it makes me feel more alone.....

I get that sex positive asexual exist but I feel lonely. If u are sex negative, how do u do it?....

I try to avoid nsfw things because why waste my time on topics I dislike, but yeah. I need advise plz.

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Can Morihito be considered Aroace?

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For the AroAces?
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(18f) when to tell boyfriend i'm ace?

Hi! Using a throwaway since my bf knows my main reddit account.

I'm a rising college freshman and just got into a relationship with my boyfriend a week ago. We're both going to amazing unis (I'm so proud of him!) and we will be long-distance in college but our colleges are quite close to each other, so we can definitely meet up. (This will be relevant later.)

My boyfriend and I are in the same friend group and, recently, me and two others in the friend group met up. They are in a relationship and, the whole time we were hanging out, were very handsy with each other, going as far as reaching under each others' shirts in public. I remarked on this to my boyfriend and he said something along the lines of "I don't know, that sounds kind of fun," which is why I feel the need to tell him that I'm ace.

I am not completely repulsed to the idea of sex and would be okay with trying it at some point, especially if it's important to my partner. However, I am 100% certain that I am not sexually attracted to him (even though I think he's gorgeous and cute) and have never experienced sexual attraction in my life. Do you think I should bring my asexuality up to him the next time it comes up naturally? Am I right for expecting that he might want to have sex one day? If we're planning to go long-distance soon anyways, would pushing off the conversation be a better idea?

Part of me is just really afraid that he will break up with me or reevaluate the relationship which is why I'm hesitant to tell him. At the same time, I don't want to deceive him, and I know it's better to tell him now when things aren't super serious yet. Thank you so much, anything helps!

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Garlic bread posting because I tried it finally recently and this is so fucking good
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Wizards?

Ok so you know how there's the saying in some countries that if your a virgin past 30 you turn into a wizard and get magic? Do you think this also applies to people on the asexual spectrum? I know that this is kinda a stupid question but I am curious to know if it's though to also be a thing with people on the ace spectrum.

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Many allosexuals are asensual and lack passion. Many asexuals are allosensual and passionate.

Sensual passion is completely separate from urges to have sex with someone. Sensual attraction is not just hugs and touches and flowers and rainbows.

You can be sex-repulsed and still sensuality-favorable. They are not the same thing.

Me and my partner bite, hold and claw each other out of passion. That doesn't mean we have sex. That doesn't mean libido. No genital contact involved or wanted. I'm sex averse asexual, he is sex indifferent (falls asleep out of boredom type) asexual, and we are extremely passionate towards each other sensually.

Completely different things. I had a nightmare incompatible allosexual asensual ex before and it was both boring and repulsive, especially since I was extremely dysphoric until my nullification surgery.

Passion comes in vastly different forms. So do our needs and urges.

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What my ex told me when I discovered and came out as ace when we were dating

"please stop brining it up, I don't want our friends to feel bad for me"


I'll always kick myself for not breaking it off right then and there, but teenagers are dumb

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I’m realizing I’m asexual and worried about keeping my act up for my wife.

We’ve quite young, but have been together since 2018. Originally we were long distance and going to wait for marriage, but we had sex for the first time in late december of 2023. Both of us were virgins at the time.

She got pregnant, absent sex drive throughout the pregnancy. Our son is now 10.5 months old. Since our son was born I’ve graduated with my master’s degree, we’ve gotten married, bought our first house, renovated, and I (very slowly) moved ~100 miles from my big major city to her very small rural hometown. Like I said, all pretty young, so it’s been a particularly stressful time. There hasn’t really been a lot of time for sex, this past year has been very go go go. That did change fairly recently, things are stabilizing & starting to mellow out.

Aside from curiosity, I’ve never really desired sex per se. Now that sex is happening, it’s even clearer to me that I have absolutely no desire or pleasure derived from sex. I’m even a little repulsed by it. I’m able to set that repulsion aside though because I do really enjoy seeing her happy & her pleasure. I’ve even gotten pretty good at it, I even initiate sometimes when I can tell she wants it. But I don’t get anything sexually from it. Nothing.

She’s starting to let go of regressive views from religious repression/programming. She’s becoming increasingly open minded in a lot of ways. I want her to continue in that progression. It’s resulting in the sex being very frequent (several times daily), kinks are starting to be explored. But I’m not sure I can totally keep up the act. I don’t feel like resentment is a risk, I really do enjoy seeing her happy to the extent it offsets any of the negatives. I’m just not sure I can keep up the act if things stay this way, and her open mindedness hasn’t gotten to the point she’d accept I’m asexual.

There’s a few acts too that I find particularly difficult to act like I enjoy, but those happen to be ones that are her favorites… so they happen all the time. One big positive though is she’s become more amicable to me using toys on her, which has relieved a lot of repulsion etc. But yeah, keeping my story & face straight is getting harder.

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Assembling an ace army on wPlace to fight hate

sorry if this isn’t the place, but a university that suffered a mass shooting (UCSB)is getting regularly vandalized on wplace by incels. I can’t exactly stop the vandals on my own, but i saw someone was making a collection of ace flags nearby and i thought that if we can team up we can stop vandals from spewing hate speech on a platform aimed at fostering community and creativity

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I want friends who won’t crush on me

I wish I had more female friends (21+), or at least people who aren’t as likely to catch feelings for me, like gay men or other aroaces. I’m sad I can’t fully be myself around some people cause im afraid of them tryna turn it into something more. It happens often, and it’s ruined many friendships (all with straight/bi/pan men).

I dress plainly most of the time, speak in a monotone, don’t smile much, and I still get this problem. Many guys will say “Oh yeah I completely understand”, and then they don’t. Bc I still observe them mirroring me, feigning interest in my interests, not looking for other women to date. Even one said, “Why not just try it with me?” Another said “So do you think you’ll change sometime soon?” NO. I WONT.

Where tf do I meet people who I can 100% act myself around without a fear of them crushing on me??? (I tolerate romantic advances from women better than men, but the point still stands). Anytime I try to make friends with women on female-only forums, no one replies. I gotta be genderless in every chatroom cause even the slightest hint of a female presence gets me unwanted advances in my dms.

Sorry this is partially a rant, but I also just really don’t wanna constantly be on my guard when hanging out with people.

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Are the allos ok???????

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Why do we get the goth pride flag
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Reminded me of you guys
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What am I actually?

Sorry for reposting, but this went completely ignored when I posted it last night.

I don’t know what I am anymore. I thought I was grey-ace, then fully asexual, but now I’m back to being… idk anymore.

I’m not sex-repulsed, I don’t even know if I’m sex-neutral or sex-favorable.

I play VRChat a lot and in-game (and in text fantasy roleplay with trusted friends), I’m sex-favorable and even partake in sexual activities. I do a good job at appearing or sounding like I’m “enjoying” myself… but in reality, behind the screen, I’m just… neutral. I don’t feel physically aroused, I don’t really get “excited” at the thought of sexual activities or anything. The idea of some sexual activity is… okay, but like, I have no irl experience or even desires so I don’t really know.

I blame a lot of this on my physical health. I have a health condition that causes me to have critically low to nonexistent libido and I don’t exercise (bad triggering thoughts around it, working on it in therapy), but like… what would that make me in a sexual orientation sense? A sex-positive grey ace? An allosexual of some kind?

I don’t know anymore. I still consider myself to be on the ace spectrum, but I’m thinking of just skipping the whole label scene entirely and just be whatever I want.

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Realizing I’m ace at 29

Just need to rant a bit, I’ve been in an identity crisis for years and I don’t know how to proceed.

My whole life I’ve considered myself a typical straight male, but I realized in the past couple years I’ve really enjoyed sex. In my relationships I’ve had it’s always felt like a chore, something I’m supposed to do as a man. Every time I’ve had sex has been a result of this dynamic, and I’m now trying to figure out how to accept that I don’t want sex to be a part of my life or personality.

I’m really struggling with this, because as a “normal” person so much conversation with other men revolves around sex, and so many women think you’re gay or just weird if you tell them you’re “not a sexual person.” When I talk to my family the conversation becomes “when are you going to get married and have children?” I think it would break my parents’ hearts to learn I’m not going to carry on the family name.

I’ve been faking being sexual for so long, and I just can’t anymore, I’m exhausted. The last time I had sex was a couple years ago. It was so uncomfortable and I felt situationally forced into it. I still feel awful about the whole thing.

I don’t want to be part of any community, I hate all the stupid classifications and identities. I just want to be seen as a person. But I’m so tired of feeling lonely in a world that is so sex-focused. How do I even navigate the world and relationships after coming to the realization that I’m ace?

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salt your pasta
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being sex repulsed when everything seems to be getting more ‘traditional’/conservative/right wing

I don’t think I’m the only ace person in the world to have thought much about this, but I’ve been thinking a lot recently about The World and the way things are going, especially with the swing to everything suddenly being really conservative, at least in the West. Jojo Siwa’s Betty Davis song and all the discussion with that, all the backlash Sabrina Carpenter got with that album cover, Andrew Tate, tradwives, all of it, it feels like modesty and being anti-sex is slowly starting to become the ‘in’ thing.

Thing is, I’m a sex repulsed aroace, which is a solid part of my identity. I’m very sex positive for other people (every adult should be able to do what they like with whoever they like, with consent - that should be celebrated!), but being more modest in the way i dress and feeling comfortable not dating have been pretty empowering parts of my own identity as a queer person - it feels unsettling now to see those same things celebrated by the right wing to push other people down, especially queer people. has anyone else ever had the same feeling or thoughts?? does it ever affect you?

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