Asexual and romantic - is it common?
I am asexual and have absolutely no interest in sex. But I do have romantic interests. I am married and feel love for my husband, just as I do for other members of my family. I like to do things with him, to be with him, to take long evening walks on the beach with him, and to share my life with him. I just have no interest in having sex with him. He feels the same way and has no interest with sex with me. For both of us, we are not repulsed by the idea; we just have no interest. He told me that he feels the same way about putting his penis into my vagina as he does about putting his little toe into my ear. Neither are repulsive, but neither are desirable. I feel the same way. I kiss him, but I also kiss my grandmother.
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I am asexual and have absolutely no interest in sex. But I do have romantic interests. I am married and feel love for my husband, just as I do for other members of my family. I like to do things with him, to be with him, to take long evening walks on the beach with him, and to share my life with him. I just have no interest in having sex with him. He feels the same way and has no interest with sex with me. For both of us, we are not repulsed by the idea; we just have no interest. He told me that he feels the same way about putting his penis into my vagina as he does about putting his little toe into my ear. Neither are repulsive, but neither are desirable. I feel the same way. I kiss him, but I also kiss my grandmother.
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I enjoy masturbation more than real sex, i'm asexual?
I've had sex like 4 times but i didn't enjoy too much, the only thing was to kiss the woman's body ( her stomatch and belly button above all) because i have like a belly fetish but i was used to enjoy more on humping my bed daydreaming kissing some women bellies (asian mostly) but i had to stop because i became chatolic christian , but the question if i don't enjoy real sex that makes me asexual?
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I've had sex like 4 times but i didn't enjoy too much, the only thing was to kiss the woman's body ( her stomatch and belly button above all) because i have like a belly fetish but i was used to enjoy more on humping my bed daydreaming kissing some women bellies (asian mostly) but i had to stop because i became chatolic christian , but the question if i don't enjoy real sex that makes me asexual?
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Question for Aces who watch porn.
I've been hyper fixating on potentially being ace/aego for about a week now but the novelty is starting to wear down and the feelings of relating to it feels like its lessening. I still feel romantic feelings and I watch porn and enjoy it. The part where I felt like i related was from the complete neutrality I have towards sex in real life, I've had multiple experiences with crushes and just random girls who were into me and I had feelings for some of them but no urge or draw to get physically closer. Now that the fixation has ended, the fact that I watch porn and enjoy it is making me think twice about if I am ace or not... And I don't much real life experience to pull from either which sucks.
If anyone else has an experience close to this, how did you come to terms with that dissonance?
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I've been hyper fixating on potentially being ace/aego for about a week now but the novelty is starting to wear down and the feelings of relating to it feels like its lessening. I still feel romantic feelings and I watch porn and enjoy it. The part where I felt like i related was from the complete neutrality I have towards sex in real life, I've had multiple experiences with crushes and just random girls who were into me and I had feelings for some of them but no urge or draw to get physically closer. Now that the fixation has ended, the fact that I watch porn and enjoy it is making me think twice about if I am ace or not... And I don't much real life experience to pull from either which sucks.
If anyone else has an experience close to this, how did you come to terms with that dissonance?
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My bf touched me without my consent
Okay, I'm not sure how to start this, but I'll try to summarize. I (24f ace spec) have already mentioned here in this community how receptive my boyfriend (m24 allo) was when I came out was ace. At first, it was great. I told him I wasn't sex-repulsive and that I rarely feel sexual attraction. Then, we started having problems. He touched me constantly. We had arguments about it, and I had to remind him that I didn't like being touched out of the blue, and that it would be better if I took the initiative or if he asked me if I wanted to. We had this argument in our second or third year together. And now, after almost six years together, it happened again.
I don't want to go into too much detail: I woke up one morning and he was groping my breasts, and then he started sucking them. Out of nowhere. I couldn't really react; I just felt upset all day. Later, I talked to him about what upset me, he apologized, and we moved on. But after I got home, I couldn't stop thinking about it and how bad I felt about it. He'd done this before, groping me without my consent, but I think this time I reached my limit. We argued a lot, and I told him all of this, saying I wanted time to think. And well, he didn't respect me, he didn't give me time, because he kept whining and suffocating me. Even though I told him several times that I just wanted time to think. Giving him chances, I found myself treating him badly, being short and rude. I told him to go to therapy. He went to therapy and told me he understands now. But I'm having mixed feelings.
Part of me tells me to forgive him because we've been together for many years, and the other part says I've put up with this for too long and I can't risk trusting him again. I don't know what to do ): he's so sweet with me but this is so disrespectful.
Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language.
https://redd.it/1mitf1v
@asexualityonreddit
Okay, I'm not sure how to start this, but I'll try to summarize. I (24f ace spec) have already mentioned here in this community how receptive my boyfriend (m24 allo) was when I came out was ace. At first, it was great. I told him I wasn't sex-repulsive and that I rarely feel sexual attraction. Then, we started having problems. He touched me constantly. We had arguments about it, and I had to remind him that I didn't like being touched out of the blue, and that it would be better if I took the initiative or if he asked me if I wanted to. We had this argument in our second or third year together. And now, after almost six years together, it happened again.
I don't want to go into too much detail: I woke up one morning and he was groping my breasts, and then he started sucking them. Out of nowhere. I couldn't really react; I just felt upset all day. Later, I talked to him about what upset me, he apologized, and we moved on. But after I got home, I couldn't stop thinking about it and how bad I felt about it. He'd done this before, groping me without my consent, but I think this time I reached my limit. We argued a lot, and I told him all of this, saying I wanted time to think. And well, he didn't respect me, he didn't give me time, because he kept whining and suffocating me. Even though I told him several times that I just wanted time to think. Giving him chances, I found myself treating him badly, being short and rude. I told him to go to therapy. He went to therapy and told me he understands now. But I'm having mixed feelings.
Part of me tells me to forgive him because we've been together for many years, and the other part says I've put up with this for too long and I can't risk trusting him again. I don't know what to do ): he's so sweet with me but this is so disrespectful.
Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language.
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What if Sir Isaac Newton was aroace and that's why he died a virgin and never married?
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Is a straight asexual LGBTQIA?
I, a straight asexual, have seen a lit of people divided on if queen asexuals were part of the LGBTQ community, and i feel like being a STRAIGHT asexual makes it even harder to be in the LGBTQ community. I consider myself to be a part of it, but I also feel kinda weird about it because I feel as if I dont belong.
https://redd.it/1mixng2
@asexualityonreddit
I, a straight asexual, have seen a lit of people divided on if queen asexuals were part of the LGBTQ community, and i feel like being a STRAIGHT asexual makes it even harder to be in the LGBTQ community. I consider myself to be a part of it, but I also feel kinda weird about it because I feel as if I dont belong.
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Scary attitudes toward sex
Long time lurker, first time poster in this sub.
I’m feeling the need to vent a little bit after being on Reddit too much. Recently I’ve seen so many posts where people are discussing whether a person should have sex with their partner to satisfy their partner’s sexual desires, even though they’re not into it at all themselves, and a frightening amount of people think that that’s okay.
Just thinking about it makes me really uncomfortable. I’ve thought about it a lot, and I’ve come to the conclusion that those people must be either
1. possessing predatory traits, or
2. really selfish and uncaring about their partners’ wellbeing.
I just cannot imagine a decent person wanting to have sex with someone who doesn’t want to have sex. Am I crazy for thinking this? I realise that as a person who’s not very sexual (I’m not sure whether I am actually ace or not), my compass on this topic might be off. What do you guys think about this?
https://redd.it/1mj7wxj
@asexualityonreddit
Long time lurker, first time poster in this sub.
I’m feeling the need to vent a little bit after being on Reddit too much. Recently I’ve seen so many posts where people are discussing whether a person should have sex with their partner to satisfy their partner’s sexual desires, even though they’re not into it at all themselves, and a frightening amount of people think that that’s okay.
Just thinking about it makes me really uncomfortable. I’ve thought about it a lot, and I’ve come to the conclusion that those people must be either
1. possessing predatory traits, or
2. really selfish and uncaring about their partners’ wellbeing.
I just cannot imagine a decent person wanting to have sex with someone who doesn’t want to have sex. Am I crazy for thinking this? I realise that as a person who’s not very sexual (I’m not sure whether I am actually ace or not), my compass on this topic might be off. What do you guys think about this?
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My friend keeps infantilizing me
So I came out as aromantic and asexual to my friend about a year and a half ago, he seemed pretty accepting for about a year. A few months ago he started doing this thing where when he makes a sexual joke, if I don't instantly laugh at it or if it takes me a second to register what he said, he will call me a "sweet summer child". One scenario that recently happened was we were playing a game together and he made a sexual joke about tentacles and I said in a joking tone "What kind of videos are you watching" and then I chuckled, his response to that was that "It makes sense I wouldn't know about that kind of thing", at the time his response sort of stunned and confused me so I didn't say anything in response, just sort of went quiet. I really want to confront him about it but he only does this kind of thing maybe once every other week or so meaning that when it does happen it catches me off guard and I don't know how to respond to it in the moment.
https://redd.it/1mj70cv
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So I came out as aromantic and asexual to my friend about a year and a half ago, he seemed pretty accepting for about a year. A few months ago he started doing this thing where when he makes a sexual joke, if I don't instantly laugh at it or if it takes me a second to register what he said, he will call me a "sweet summer child". One scenario that recently happened was we were playing a game together and he made a sexual joke about tentacles and I said in a joking tone "What kind of videos are you watching" and then I chuckled, his response to that was that "It makes sense I wouldn't know about that kind of thing", at the time his response sort of stunned and confused me so I didn't say anything in response, just sort of went quiet. I really want to confront him about it but he only does this kind of thing maybe once every other week or so meaning that when it does happen it catches me off guard and I don't know how to respond to it in the moment.
https://redd.it/1mj70cv
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Countering every myth/sterotype/argument/against asexuality
Because it's recently been on my mind.
"Asexuals aren't oppressed"
We actually are, I'm going to give you a whole list why!
"You just need to find the right person."
Okay, buddy. I'm waiting.
"Asexuality isn't a part of the LGBTQ community."
We deviate from heterosexuality, so we are.
"Asexuals can't be in relationships."
Believe it or not, romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things.
"Asexuals are traumatized."
No, a decent amount of us were born with little to no sexual attraction, and wasn't brought on by sexual trauma.
"Asexuals just hate people/are antisocial."
Although I am personally an asshole, it isn't related to my lack of sexual attraction. It's just an added bonus. There's a lot of cool and friendly asexuals out there.
"Asexuality is a medical problem,
/disorder."
No, it isn't. It's recognized as a sexual orientation.
"I can change you."
No you can't, you sound like a rapist.
"Asexuals are childlike/innocent."
Lots of asexuals have had sex before. Some never will. That doesn't make us childlike.
"Demisexuality is normal/what everyone experiences."
If it was, then celebrity crushes and hookups wouldn't exist. Maybe you have some things to consider if you think it's normal.
"Asexuality isn't real."
I guess I'll just vanish then.
"Asexuals don't make sex jokes."
That's not true. To me, sex is nothing but a joke.
"You're too young to know if you're asexual."
You're too young to know if you're straight then.
"How can you tell if someone is attractive?"
Because I understand basic societal beauty standards.
Let me know if there's something I missed.
https://redd.it/1mjcxyj
@asexualityonreddit
Because it's recently been on my mind.
"Asexuals aren't oppressed"
We actually are, I'm going to give you a whole list why!
"You just need to find the right person."
Okay, buddy. I'm waiting.
"Asexuality isn't a part of the LGBTQ community."
We deviate from heterosexuality, so we are.
"Asexuals can't be in relationships."
Believe it or not, romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things.
"Asexuals are traumatized."
No, a decent amount of us were born with little to no sexual attraction, and wasn't brought on by sexual trauma.
"Asexuals just hate people/are antisocial."
Although I am personally an asshole, it isn't related to my lack of sexual attraction. It's just an added bonus. There's a lot of cool and friendly asexuals out there.
"Asexuality is a medical problem,
/disorder."
No, it isn't. It's recognized as a sexual orientation.
"I can change you."
No you can't, you sound like a rapist.
"Asexuals are childlike/innocent."
Lots of asexuals have had sex before. Some never will. That doesn't make us childlike.
"Demisexuality is normal/what everyone experiences."
If it was, then celebrity crushes and hookups wouldn't exist. Maybe you have some things to consider if you think it's normal.
"Asexuality isn't real."
I guess I'll just vanish then.
"Asexuals don't make sex jokes."
That's not true. To me, sex is nothing but a joke.
"You're too young to know if you're asexual."
You're too young to know if you're straight then.
"How can you tell if someone is attractive?"
Because I understand basic societal beauty standards.
Let me know if there's something I missed.
https://redd.it/1mjcxyj
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Are You Aro (Advice)?
**Hi everyone!**
Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.
**Do any of these resonate with you?**
\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.
\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.
\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.
\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.
These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.
\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!
* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)
* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)
* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)
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@asexualityonreddit
**Hi everyone!**
Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.
**Do any of these resonate with you?**
\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.
\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.
\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.
\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.
These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.
\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!
* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)
* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)
* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)
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I am making queer coat of arms. Each with their own mythical heraldic animal. Asking for advice, inspriration and cool ideas, since this is still kinda in the making and I wanna collect peoples' ideas and opinions :D
https://redd.it/1mjlgd5
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1mjlgd5
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From the Asexual community on Reddit: I am making queer coat of arms. Each with their own mythical heraldic animal. Asking for…
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