Asexual or just lazy?
This is probably a strange question. I'm a 21-year-old girl, and my boyfriend is 26. We're having problems with our sex life. At the beginning of our relationship, everything seemed to be fine, although it took me the first couple of months to get used to him (which was new for me; I was afraid of doing something wrong, even though I hadn't behaved like that before). We moved in together a month after we started dating. We've been together for 4 years now, and for the last two years, it feels like I have to beg for sex. 🙈 I can say right away that I want sex more than he does. But for him, it's normal to go and masturbate, and when I ask why we're not having sex, he tells me he's lazy. 🤷🏼♀️ On my part, during the relationship, there was an issue where I didn't like the duration (it was very fast), and now there's nothing at all. After a conversation, we came to the conclusion that I need to initiate more often (but the thing is, I used to be the one who always initiated, and now it feels like my body doesn't want to do it anymore, and as funny as it sounds, it's like it has forgotten how). We also have a difference in the type of sex we like - he prefers a gentler version, while I prefer it rougher, but at the same time, everything we do always feels like it's on a predictable track. I know he's not cheating, but how can we overcome this situation? We're supposed to have a wedding soon, but I'm worried because of this whole situation. I literally look like a model, so I can’t understand from a girl perspective how can you be lazy for sex or how you can masturbate to a porno when you have a girlfriend that wants to have sex with you 🤷🏼♀️
https://redd.it/1m53i17
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This is probably a strange question. I'm a 21-year-old girl, and my boyfriend is 26. We're having problems with our sex life. At the beginning of our relationship, everything seemed to be fine, although it took me the first couple of months to get used to him (which was new for me; I was afraid of doing something wrong, even though I hadn't behaved like that before). We moved in together a month after we started dating. We've been together for 4 years now, and for the last two years, it feels like I have to beg for sex. 🙈 I can say right away that I want sex more than he does. But for him, it's normal to go and masturbate, and when I ask why we're not having sex, he tells me he's lazy. 🤷🏼♀️ On my part, during the relationship, there was an issue where I didn't like the duration (it was very fast), and now there's nothing at all. After a conversation, we came to the conclusion that I need to initiate more often (but the thing is, I used to be the one who always initiated, and now it feels like my body doesn't want to do it anymore, and as funny as it sounds, it's like it has forgotten how). We also have a difference in the type of sex we like - he prefers a gentler version, while I prefer it rougher, but at the same time, everything we do always feels like it's on a predictable track. I know he's not cheating, but how can we overcome this situation? We're supposed to have a wedding soon, but I'm worried because of this whole situation. I literally look like a model, so I can’t understand from a girl perspective how can you be lazy for sex or how you can masturbate to a porno when you have a girlfriend that wants to have sex with you 🤷🏼♀️
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I should have never told my mom that I was questioning my asexuality.
I was talking with my mom just a bit ago. Told her that I've considered myself asexual for a couple years. She then questioned why I feel that way, and I explained that I've just never felt any sexual attraction, nor had any interest in sex or see the appeal in it. She then started going on a rant about how I "just haven't found the right person yet" or "you don't need to label yourself." She then pulled up the argument that "LGBTQ is pressuring you into labeling yourself" and that I should just "be myself." The whole conversation just came off as aphobic to me. I just don't know how to feel about her now.
https://redd.it/1m53ae3
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I was talking with my mom just a bit ago. Told her that I've considered myself asexual for a couple years. She then questioned why I feel that way, and I explained that I've just never felt any sexual attraction, nor had any interest in sex or see the appeal in it. She then started going on a rant about how I "just haven't found the right person yet" or "you don't need to label yourself." She then pulled up the argument that "LGBTQ is pressuring you into labeling yourself" and that I should just "be myself." The whole conversation just came off as aphobic to me. I just don't know how to feel about her now.
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Am I Asexual?
If you are questioning whether or not you are asexual (including all microlabels), reply to this post with what made you start questioning, and why.
If you are too shy to post a reply, then you can scroll through the responses for the advice you may be searching for.
https://redd.it/1m58zdb
@asexualityonreddit
If you are questioning whether or not you are asexual (including all microlabels), reply to this post with what made you start questioning, and why.
If you are too shy to post a reply, then you can scroll through the responses for the advice you may be searching for.
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Beauty standards infuriate me to no end.
Every time I see someone insecure of their image because they’re “too ugly,” “too fat,” “too scrawny,” “too flat,” “too tall,” “too short,” “too average,” “too different,” it just makes me pissed at our culture for imposing these made-up standards of worth. Being asexual, I physically can’t see anyone as more or less worthy or appealing because of their looks, and it’s so frustrating to experience how possible it is to look past peoples’ looks when everyone else can’t.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! Your beauty shines when you’re confidently yourself—all aspects, all styles, all preferences. Traditional beauty standards are a fake social construct stemmed from centuries of shallow and discriminatory preferences set by people who can’t think with more than their genitals. I know it’s so deeply ingrained in our society, and probably won’t go away, but I just want you to know that it’s all fake. You’re not “ugly.” “Ugly” isn’t real. YOU are real.
https://redd.it/1m55c0l
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Every time I see someone insecure of their image because they’re “too ugly,” “too fat,” “too scrawny,” “too flat,” “too tall,” “too short,” “too average,” “too different,” it just makes me pissed at our culture for imposing these made-up standards of worth. Being asexual, I physically can’t see anyone as more or less worthy or appealing because of their looks, and it’s so frustrating to experience how possible it is to look past peoples’ looks when everyone else can’t.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! Your beauty shines when you’re confidently yourself—all aspects, all styles, all preferences. Traditional beauty standards are a fake social construct stemmed from centuries of shallow and discriminatory preferences set by people who can’t think with more than their genitals. I know it’s so deeply ingrained in our society, and probably won’t go away, but I just want you to know that it’s all fake. You’re not “ugly.” “Ugly” isn’t real. YOU are real.
https://redd.it/1m55c0l
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TIL that when people say someone is hot they actually mean that they want to/could have sex with that person
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Are Alloromantics attracted to strangers like allos are?
If allos can be attracted to strangers and stuff, is it the same with romantic attraction? Are asexual but romantically attracted people also attracted to strangers on sight? Like do they imagine kissing strangers or cuddling them? This is a genuine question because I think I might be demiromantic ?? Also if you're demiromantic, can you explain how you knew?
https://redd.it/1m5k3rn
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If allos can be attracted to strangers and stuff, is it the same with romantic attraction? Are asexual but romantically attracted people also attracted to strangers on sight? Like do they imagine kissing strangers or cuddling them? This is a genuine question because I think I might be demiromantic ?? Also if you're demiromantic, can you explain how you knew?
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Hey so i found this video and it made me thought of you guys
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Why is there so much hate/uneducated replies here.
For about the past couple months I have been seeing lots of people hating asexual people who still have sex or want to have it.
And I have also seen replies from people who say having sex doesn’t make you asexual.
Why do people forget that asexuality has nothing to do with having, liking, disliking sex. But rather sexual attraction. I see people saying someone is not Ace because they have a bf/gf and have sex. Yet op says they don’t feel sexual attraction.
It’s funny because they are so fast to say oh maybe it’s trauma or something that you need to work out. I saw someone tell someone “your still to young to know if your ace.” Why are most aces gatekeeping.
Saw a comment where they got mad because someone had a different ace experience and they felt like their asexuality was being invalidated because it wasn’t the same.
Being asexual does not have set rules someone must follow. Or set experiences someone must follow. It just comes down to feelings sexual attraction or not (yes there are exceptions like gray, Demi, flux,spike and so on) but again they still feel not attraction.
https://redd.it/1m657io
@asexualityonreddit
For about the past couple months I have been seeing lots of people hating asexual people who still have sex or want to have it.
And I have also seen replies from people who say having sex doesn’t make you asexual.
Why do people forget that asexuality has nothing to do with having, liking, disliking sex. But rather sexual attraction. I see people saying someone is not Ace because they have a bf/gf and have sex. Yet op says they don’t feel sexual attraction.
It’s funny because they are so fast to say oh maybe it’s trauma or something that you need to work out. I saw someone tell someone “your still to young to know if your ace.” Why are most aces gatekeeping.
Saw a comment where they got mad because someone had a different ace experience and they felt like their asexuality was being invalidated because it wasn’t the same.
Being asexual does not have set rules someone must follow. Or set experiences someone must follow. It just comes down to feelings sexual attraction or not (yes there are exceptions like gray, Demi, flux,spike and so on) but again they still feel not attraction.
https://redd.it/1m657io
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Aphobia warning! Told a guy how my brand of Asexuality works, immediately says something he wouldn’t say to a gay person.
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https://redd.it/1m67gt4
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From the asexuality community on Reddit: Aphobia warning! Told a guy how my brand of Asexuality works, immediately says something…
Posted by SlowBeginning8753 - 26 votes and 7 comments