Becoming ace
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@asexualityonreddit

I’m ace, my partner isn’t.

Hi folks,

My partner and I have been together almost 3 years, and it’s the most wonderful relationship I’ve ever had - we love each other to death. I explained that I was ace very early on and she’s been very accepting of it.

The issue is that although she accepts me for who I am and respects my inability to have a sexual relationship, she’s having difficulty recently with missing physicality. It’s been upsetting her and I feel awful about it. I class myself as poly and I’ve said that I’m more than happy for her to find a second more sexual partner, but she doesn’t feel comfortable with that for various reasons that I completely respect.

Does anyone have advice for this situation? I don’t want to be the reason she feels sad or like she’s missing something but I really don’t know what to do - I’m only getting more and more along the ace spectrum as I get older and I don’t think I could have sex even if I wanted to. I just want to make her happy, and this is literally the only thing that’s a wrinkle in our relationship.

Thanks in advance.

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@asexualityonreddit

Is it weird to enjoy masturbating but hate sex with another person? How does that work in a relationship?

I realized late in life (in my 40’s) that I just genuinely hate having sex with people. I always thought maybe I just hadn’t found the right person, so I kept searching and forcing myself to sleep with people even though I dreaded it every time. I finally gave up my search this year after learning that I am a sex-averse ace.

But I still enjoy masturbating, which is what is really confusing to me. I don’t know how to get into a relationship and tell someone I have no interest in them sexually but then turn around and take care of myself every night to go to sleep.

Anyone else have this experience?

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@asexualityonreddit

ace gamers
https://redd.it/1m3uuee
@asexualityonreddit

Acephobic mom thinks my friends turned me queer

I’m 23 now and I still live with my parents due to my disability and uni. Luckily I’ll be graduating into a high paying field in a few years but things haven’t been the easiest in the meantime. 2 years ago I started questioning my sexuality and realized I might be ace. After years of research, ruminating and late nights scrolling this subreddit im pretty comfortable identifying as ace (specifically aego). Part of the process was reading Ace by Angel Chen. I was terrified to even have the book in my house with my family so I would hide it and read it in secret. Then I realized F this, I’m a grown adult for gods sake, I’m leaving it out on my desk because this is my space and I shouldn’t live like a child.

Sure enough she saw it and acted really weird about it. “…do you think you’re asexual…” and I just said I had barely started reading the book.

I confided in my brother later on that week and he admitted our mom had gone to him to rant about me because of how ridiculous it was for me to consider I could be ace, how I’m confused because all my friends were lesbians and were influencing me and isolating me from men, etc etc. I was humiliated to hear this but now I’m just angry.

Since then my mom will never talk about it directly with me but she keeps trying to tell me not to be so hard on men, that’s she’s so sorry I’ve been so isolated due to Covid and my disability and that I’ll find a guy I want to be with eventually. She keeps bringing up how funnn it was having kids and how easyyyy childbirth was and how much I’ll want to when I meet the right man.

There is so much personal development of mine she has missed out on because she chose to act like this. Realizing I’m ace led me to investigate autism, gender identity, and my whole life suddenly made sense. It’s still a process but she has no part in it anymore. We have always been really close so I have to remind myself constantly not to overshare with her because I know I’ll just get burned.

The funniest thing is she’s probably ace too and she has no clue. The time I tried to explain it to her she just said “well that’s how EVERYONE feels, I was never attracted to anyone until I knew them really well, I would get super nauseous too! That’s just life!!”. But of course that’s not for me to decide for her.

Anyways. Thanks for letting me rant. Always open to advice and other’s experiences.

https://redd.it/1m3vd75
@asexualityonreddit

Are Asexual people less likely to be money motivated?

I have a friend who is super successful, on his way to becoming very rich, and is hyper sexual and I asked him if all of the work he puts into making money, getting fit, etc is because he wants a wife and kids and he said “it’s not the main reason why I do what I do, but they would be the end results of my efforts”. Whereas, with me, I just don’t care about any of that. I’m quite content with making a bit of money, have no drive to have kids or a wife, and I’m not sex driven. So, I was just wondering, are there any asexual people on here that are still driven by success, despite not having sexual urges?

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@asexualityonreddit

Ah time to wear my sleeves down. That's my mistake.
https://redd.it/1m41l43
@asexualityonreddit

Might be a gross question but I just wanna know I'm not alone in this (female asking females)

Is it normal to only feel the urge to masterbate during "shark week"? (that's what my sis and I call "that time of the month" lol)

I can literally go without thinking about sex, having the urge to have sex or masterbate, it doesn't even cross my mind almost like I forget it's some important thing people crave or whatever until I see it on TV or hear someone talk about it, but that hormonal shark week rolls around and I spend most of my time in the bath watching hentai lol It's a mix of release and calming my cramps, but it's like I don't even think or feel the urge until it's that time of the month.. anyone else?

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@asexualityonreddit

Is it normal to see sex this way lol?

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@asexualityonreddit

Men just stop talking to you once they learn you’re aroace

Yeah. You’re like hmm maybe I could be friends with this guy (and you’re a woman in this scenario). And you tell him you’re aroace relatively early on so that he doesn’t get his hopes up if he happens to find you attractive. And he gets all flabbergasted like you told him you’re from another planet and he gets all “but are you sure???” And “what a dull life” and then he just fucks off! Glad to know you only liked talking to me when you thought you could maybe get in my pants!

https://redd.it/1m434kt
@asexualityonreddit

Ahhh this book shop’s young adult section has a whole shelf of books about asexual characters! :)
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@asexualityonreddit

Mujeres en relación con hombre asexual. Más de 100 casos

He leído decenas de casos de mujeres que están con un hombre asexual y lo frustrante y agotador que puede ser. En este espacio me gustaría escuchar con todo respeto las opiniones de las mujeres.

¿Les frustra pensar que nunca tendrán se*o con el?
¿Que hace que estén tanto tiempo en la relación?
¿Han tenido otras parejas sexuales mientras están con el asexual?
¿Dejarían al hombre asexual y se irían con la pareja sexualmente activa? ¿Cuando?



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@asexualityonreddit

trueHappinesss
https://redd.it/1m40uke
@asexualityonreddit

I feel very rude. How do i explain to ppl abt sex without them taking it the wrong way ( without them thinking that i am sex- negative )




Ok soooo, i am not good with words sometimes and ppl would usually also take them the wrong way.


So i saw a man talking abt how him and his wife are having a baby and i went ‘’ Aww its so cute! Lets see the comments ‘’

I saw the comment and the first thing i see is ‘’ its all fun and games until you realize how a baby is made ‘’


Look, i sometimes think these comments are annoying bc it feels like they are sexualizing everything just bc of where it comes from. Like…pls be quiet and let them enjoy having a moment on how they are happy abt having a baby.



And i saw someone asking why they think its weird that how babies are made and that its normal.


So i kind of answered.

I feel guilty tbh bc i dont want it to make it seem rude or sex negative bc i dont want to be that kind of person yk.

I do think that sex it an act of affection used positively and negatively ( depends on how you use it but lets talk abt the positive one )

And ppl can enjoy it as long as they are safe, consenting and happy



I told them ant how maybe they meant that its weird thinking abt how the process of the baby making would be.


Like yk when someone says ‘’ were having a baby ‘’

And then you just imagine how they made it ( i dont relate to that but i have Heard some ppl do that )
And maybe that was the weird part.

Not sex itself but just imagining it.


But like…WHO CARES. Everything is weird in Life yk. I am weird, you are weird, the neighbor on your next door that drinks beer and talks abt football is weird. Everyone and everything is weird in different ways and its okay.



Thats what i commented.
I Hope it wasnt horrible though.

Since the person commented on me and then asked me why i thought that way and calling sex a ‘’ weird behaviour ‘’


Just to say this man ‘’ whats wrong with being weird? Being weird is okay as long as you dont hurt ppl. Maybe bc i am sex repulsed but idk man. Maybe like imagining the process of the baby making would look weird but who am i kidding. I think everything is weird and its okay. I don’t think its bad ‘’


I responded like this and idk how they would feel after that.


I Hope i didnt sound sex negative and i dont want to be that.


I do think sex is…kind of weird but not horrible. If ppl like it, its okay to like it. You can like something as long as you arent hurting anybody around you. As long as its consentual too.

I think everything is weird, but in different ways and its okay to be weird yk.


Did i sound sex- negative in the comments? I Hope i wasnt bc i dont want to be some puritain yk.

What do yall think?


https://redd.it/1m4dify
@asexualityonreddit

Please lord, give him some kind of redemption arc. Amen.
https://redd.it/1m4kzle
@asexualityonreddit

Great fucking platform, Elon.

https://redd.it/1m4e7gw
@asexualityonreddit

why do so many people think this?

everyone assumes im gay since im a femboy so people online often ask me "do you like boys or girls" and when i say "neither" like half of the time their response is "so you like animals?" NO WTF, WHY, WHY IS THAT YOUR FIRST THOUGHT, IS IT SO HARD TO BELIEVE THAT IM NOT INTERESTED IN ANYONE THAT YOU WOULD RATHER BELIEVE IM ATTRACTED TO ANIMALS???? WTF???

has this happened to anyone else? or just me😭

https://redd.it/1m4i0jq
@asexualityonreddit

So now my being Butch can’t happen? Apparently I can’t be both Butch, Tomboy and Asexual??

Listen I could care less I just like posting about it anyways to maybe perhaps make others feel better.



But like…

GET A GRIP YOU BUTCHPHOBIC, BUTCH4BUTCH PHOBIC, HOMOPHOBIC, TOMBOYPHOBIC, 1990’s GRUNGE MOSAIC PHOBIC AND ACEPHOBIC PEOPLE!!


I get there are nonbinary Butch Dyke lesbians. (Hell yeah) But you see; I’m a cis Butch Lesbian with a skinny figure bc 90’s tomboyish ness. Nowhere in my face do I scream MAN. My being Butch shows up in my short hair and when I’m wearing flannel. I’m both tomboyish and Butch; I’m also asexual and can be.

Stop it.🙄

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@asexualityonreddit