I’m very confused

I’m a 27 year old autistic male identifying with my biological sex (male). I’ve recently begun to wonder about asexuality relating to me.

I grew up pretty religious so my sexuality was pretty tamped down, but I have had my fair share of sex with men. The issue I’ve run into is that… I don’t really like sex. I don’t like the sensory stuff, I don’t love kissing, I don’t love bodily fluids on me. The sensory stuff is a nightmare.

I’m dating a guy right now and he has a pretty high libido. But I love him so deeply. But he’ll ask me about my fantasies or kinks and I have legitimately no idea, cause I don’t think about those. I do see attractive men and will have a sort of bodily response (erection, or nerves). But I don’t really… think about having sex with them. If I find them attractive I’m more like ooh talking to them is so hot.

Guys seem to be way more sexually attracted to me than I am to them. I actually feel like sex is a waste of my time, or a waste of our time. And I just feel irritated having to do it. And I often lose my erection during sexy time for like no reason.

I just don’t understand if, like… that means I’m asexual… cause I do find men attractive, and like… I have had sex and like… I’m not against it? But like… if I get aroused at a man, not even thinking about sex, just like them as aesthetically pleasing?

I’ve never had a celebrity crush, really. Like, people say ohhhh that man is so hot I would have sex with him. But I just like see them as hot and have rarely ever had a sexual thought.

I usually use porn when getting off, but I mostly just get aroused by the mechanics of it all and the sounds. But I don’t know that I have ever really WANTED sex???


https://redd.it/1lrykia
@asexualityonreddit

I saw this on Tumblr. Never thought of it like that. What do you think
https://i.imgur.com/369fU9R.png

https://redd.it/1lryv3b
@asexualityonreddit

Why are some allos like this?
https://www.reddit.com/gallery/1lqxiy7

https://redd.it/1ls2y8o
@asexualityonreddit

Borger!
https://redd.it/1ls5bm3
@asexualityonreddit

I made a hat :)
https://redd.it/1ls3g89
@asexualityonreddit

Welp, this i y sign to never talk to strangers :D

https://redd.it/1ls8jqk
@asexualityonreddit

Found at Paris pride, what do we think of this ?
https://redd.it/1lsb0xb
@asexualityonreddit

Accidentally mixed the perfect soap
https://redd.it/1lsc6wx
@asexualityonreddit

sex is disgusting

Any time I read about sex or get shown sexual content or have sex in real life I feel disgusting and ashamed

https://redd.it/1lsg1s1
@asexualityonreddit

As an aroace I often feel like I'm not really apart of the community so thank to the guy who called me a f*g



https://redd.it/1lsfilg
@asexualityonreddit

That's us broski

https://redd.it/1lsi3xq
@asexualityonreddit

Tfw I wear a cunty ass outfit and get asked who I’m tryna impress
https://redd.it/1lskfs4
@asexualityonreddit

My bestfriend basically told me I’m out of luck with dating as ace.

I’ve recently got back into looking for a relationship of some sort after straying from it for a couple of years to figure out my sexuality. Now that I’m comfortable, I’ve been looking and whatnot, because I still really would love a romantic connection. I was on the fence about telling my bestfriend because he’s often got opinions I disagree with and this felt like I would possibly be in that group.

Anyways, I was discussing this with him, overall just complaining about the lack of lgbt+ community we have in our area, and he said because I mostly like masc women, that I’ve cut out 90% of the market because I’m Ace.

I’ve always been a little self conscious about not being interested in sex, not feeling good about it because of how judgmental some people will be. And now that I’m comfortable being out about it, his statement is really upsetting me and I just don’t feel good now. Like maybe I shouldn’t get my hopes up and just remain lonely?

https://redd.it/1lsna53
@asexualityonreddit

Asexuality from Trauma

I will cut to the chase - I was raped at 19 and have been completely asexual since that. I struggle a lot with feeling like I am devaluing the label of asexuality because some people I’ve talked to say I don’t fit in here at all, because I’m “choosing” this lifestyle. Is it inappropriate for me to be in this space if something that happened to me made me feel asexual, rather than it being my initial innate orientation? This is a genuine question, not meant to be ignorant, just want to gain an understanding.

https://redd.it/1lsp2vw
@asexualityonreddit

AUSSIES RUN TO SUBWAY AT ONCE!! WE WILL FORM A CULT OF ACES AND CONFUSE THE HELL OUT OF THE POOR TEENAGERS WORKING THERE
https://redd.it/1lsrxv5
@asexualityonreddit

Art I made on the feeling/experience of being asexual

https://preview.redd.it/yo6w4lfic6bf1.png?width=4000&format=png&auto=webp&s=6f50681c08f1aff875b1792df656f5eaedfefd0d



https://redd.it/1lsrr3w
@asexualityonreddit

Happy

My bday is coming up soon! My bday and my coming out day are pretty close so I celebrate both with my partner. :)

https://redd.it/1lst8as
@asexualityonreddit

Queer Pride Africa Event Celebration
https://redd.it/1lsu0hh
@asexualityonreddit

A rant about dating apps as a sex-averse woman

I am not truly an asexual, but a sex-averse heterosexual woman. Regardless, I'm still effectively only interested in finding non-sexual relationships and in that sense relate to the asexual community.

All the big 3 dating apps, Tinder, Hinge and Bumble, have added an option to choose your sexual orientation. Great addition, I thought, and chose "asexual", albeit technically inaccurate, it best describes what I'm looking for.

Except that in practise, from a sex-repulsed/asexual perspective, this feature is literally useless. It doesn't seem to, in any way, make the algorithm show you profiles that match that orientation. On top of that, you cannot even manually add a PAID orientation filter - but god forbid you want to filter out other relevant stuff like Covid vaccination status, sleeping habits, ZODIAC SIGNS - we got you!

Today, I got desperate, and signed up for an OKcupid account, which is not a super popular app, but sadly the only one known to have orientation filters... And then I realized that the free plan only lets you add a "preference", which does next to nothing. To effectively use the filter, you need to sign up for a 20 dollar monthly plan. Which I did, only to see around 50 profiles after which it told me I've run out of options, within 500 MILES. And I live in a big city.

I just don't get it. Why can't the big 3 apps get this simple thing done? I bet so many sex-averse ppl and aces would literally sign up for Tinder Gold or some shit just to be able to use the filter.

Lastly, I've heard good things about an app called HER, but that's sadly not suitable for straight women.

https://redd.it/1lswdq0
@asexualityonreddit