In Need Of Your Support and Stories
Please flood this with real stories/experiences where having an allo partner and sticking with them works/ed out. No matter what it looks like. I just really need it right now. #asexualwomen #audhd #aceswithallos #whendoestheguiltpass
https://redd.it/1lr9y9b
@asexualityonreddit
Please flood this with real stories/experiences where having an allo partner and sticking with them works/ed out. No matter what it looks like. I just really need it right now. #asexualwomen #audhd #aceswithallos #whendoestheguiltpass
https://redd.it/1lr9y9b
@asexualityonreddit
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How can you know if you don’t feel sexual attraction or if you are just good at controling them?
Hello, my apologies if this post sounds offensive. But there was something on my mind lately abt this.
Bc its kind of hard to know if…a person is ace ( don’t feel sexual attraction ) or if they are not.
Especially if you are questioning. I again am sorry for the excesive post. I Will just try my best to not do that so many Times when i question something bc there are some ppl who pointed it out and found it creepy. Which was really not my intention and i really apologise.
Its just that i am having a very…VERY hard Time to try and find myself. Heck i have literally no one to talk to abt this since most ppl dont know asexuality. So i am here bc of this.
Sooo yeah. I would like to start of with that. Bc i might have found out that i have misunderstood sexual attraction my whole entire Life bc…..Yeah
Its a very long story, i dont wanna go into details ( newsflash…you did went into details ) but all i remember was that i thought it was admiring someone a lot and just wanting to see, feel or hear them non-sexually.
Until i found out it was not. And found out abt asexuality ( at first i didnt understood it bc it wasnt very specific until they described what sexual attraction is and other kinds of split attraction models and this is how i found out that i didnt relate to sexual attraction at all. And realized that this whole Time i wasnt feeling sexual attraction. Soo yeah )
l dont get it bc i dont Even know if i still feel it bc after i found out abt asexuality, i started having the words most evil FRICKIN BRAIN EVER DEVELOPPED. In a very awkward details, it have me sexual intrusive thoughts. Very. VERY BADLY.
It Even appeared if i found someone aesthetically/sensually attractive and then these thoughts would pop up Even though i didnt Even enjoyed it.
Like, i could just look at someone i find pretty and go ‘’ wow, they are so pretty ‘’
But then my brain would go ‘’ it means ya wanna bang them. You find them pretty then you wanna bang them ‘’ and Even sometimes give me intrusive images which makes me feel uncomfortable.
These thoughts gotten so bad to the point that i went ‘’ is this sexual attraction? I didnt like it but what if it is??? ‘’
Or ‘’ wait, but i found them pretty and want to Touch them non-sexually. Does this mean that it Will lead to sexual attraction and that i am preventing myself to feel it? ‘’
So i searched abt sexual attraction since then and ppl wouldn’t say how it feels. They just say ‘’ you know it when you feel it ‘’ WHEN I DONT KNOW WHAT I FEEL
I dont know if i feel sexual attraction or if its another form of attraction bc…it feels strong to the extend that i wouldn’t know if its sexual attraction or not.
But then someone who was allo, decided to say that ‘’ when you first feel it, you might feel uncomfortable or Even feel bad for having sexual thoughts abt them like that. But its ok since its sexual attraction and its normal to feel it ‘’
….ok, thank you for the identity crisis you just gave me. First off, i know its normal to feel sexual attraction bc i was taught that it WAS normal ( and i still think it is ) but this comment made me think that i was repressing sexual thoughts/ attraction for ppl ngl. It has gotten so bad to the point that if i get intrusive thoughts that makes me uncomfortable, that are unenjoyable and very distressing. It would make me think of this comment and i would go ‘’ what if you are repressing your sexual attraction for others and actually have sexual shame? ‘’ or more so of a line ‘’ what if you are forcing yourself not to like sex bc you are repressed and want to just forced yourself on labels for attention ‘’
( i also dont feel bad abt these intrusive thoughts. Bc it had nothing to do with the person, but the thought itself is very unenjoyable for me. Especially since i done see them that way nor feel that way for them i think. And also bc i dont think abt them intentionally )
Now this has made me STOPPED using labels cuz WTH man?
This has gotten so
Hello, my apologies if this post sounds offensive. But there was something on my mind lately abt this.
Bc its kind of hard to know if…a person is ace ( don’t feel sexual attraction ) or if they are not.
Especially if you are questioning. I again am sorry for the excesive post. I Will just try my best to not do that so many Times when i question something bc there are some ppl who pointed it out and found it creepy. Which was really not my intention and i really apologise.
Its just that i am having a very…VERY hard Time to try and find myself. Heck i have literally no one to talk to abt this since most ppl dont know asexuality. So i am here bc of this.
Sooo yeah. I would like to start of with that. Bc i might have found out that i have misunderstood sexual attraction my whole entire Life bc…..Yeah
Its a very long story, i dont wanna go into details ( newsflash…you did went into details ) but all i remember was that i thought it was admiring someone a lot and just wanting to see, feel or hear them non-sexually.
Until i found out it was not. And found out abt asexuality ( at first i didnt understood it bc it wasnt very specific until they described what sexual attraction is and other kinds of split attraction models and this is how i found out that i didnt relate to sexual attraction at all. And realized that this whole Time i wasnt feeling sexual attraction. Soo yeah )
l dont get it bc i dont Even know if i still feel it bc after i found out abt asexuality, i started having the words most evil FRICKIN BRAIN EVER DEVELOPPED. In a very awkward details, it have me sexual intrusive thoughts. Very. VERY BADLY.
It Even appeared if i found someone aesthetically/sensually attractive and then these thoughts would pop up Even though i didnt Even enjoyed it.
Like, i could just look at someone i find pretty and go ‘’ wow, they are so pretty ‘’
But then my brain would go ‘’ it means ya wanna bang them. You find them pretty then you wanna bang them ‘’ and Even sometimes give me intrusive images which makes me feel uncomfortable.
These thoughts gotten so bad to the point that i went ‘’ is this sexual attraction? I didnt like it but what if it is??? ‘’
Or ‘’ wait, but i found them pretty and want to Touch them non-sexually. Does this mean that it Will lead to sexual attraction and that i am preventing myself to feel it? ‘’
So i searched abt sexual attraction since then and ppl wouldn’t say how it feels. They just say ‘’ you know it when you feel it ‘’ WHEN I DONT KNOW WHAT I FEEL
I dont know if i feel sexual attraction or if its another form of attraction bc…it feels strong to the extend that i wouldn’t know if its sexual attraction or not.
But then someone who was allo, decided to say that ‘’ when you first feel it, you might feel uncomfortable or Even feel bad for having sexual thoughts abt them like that. But its ok since its sexual attraction and its normal to feel it ‘’
….ok, thank you for the identity crisis you just gave me. First off, i know its normal to feel sexual attraction bc i was taught that it WAS normal ( and i still think it is ) but this comment made me think that i was repressing sexual thoughts/ attraction for ppl ngl. It has gotten so bad to the point that if i get intrusive thoughts that makes me uncomfortable, that are unenjoyable and very distressing. It would make me think of this comment and i would go ‘’ what if you are repressing your sexual attraction for others and actually have sexual shame? ‘’ or more so of a line ‘’ what if you are forcing yourself not to like sex bc you are repressed and want to just forced yourself on labels for attention ‘’
( i also dont feel bad abt these intrusive thoughts. Bc it had nothing to do with the person, but the thought itself is very unenjoyable for me. Especially since i done see them that way nor feel that way for them i think. And also bc i dont think abt them intentionally )
Now this has made me STOPPED using labels cuz WTH man?
This has gotten so
worse to the point that EVEN SENSUAL ACTS STARTED TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE FOR ME. Why?
Bc after finding out abt asexuality, this has made me realise my surroundings more often and how ppl feel. And i have also noticed ppl calling sensual attraction as something sexual bc they said that sensual attraction leads to sexual attraction that makes you LEAD TO SEX AFTERWARDS.
This got stuck in my head to the point sexual intrusive thoughts came in anytime when i enjoy sensual thoughts and or daydreams. And then it made me question if i wanted to lead to sexual things or if i genuinely didnt enjoy it.
But anytime i just say ‘’ no, i dont want to lead it to that. I dont feel the urge to do that with someone. I didnt enjoy these thoughts at all ‘’
I would have this weird feeling in my chest as if i am lying abt it to the point that i go to FRICKIN GOOGLE ABT IT…..WHY
I found out abt OCD. Talked abt it with my therapist which they agreed on that.
But it still didnt make me feel better since i still dont know if i feel sexual attraction or not bc idk if its my sensual attraction that is just very strong ( i also have arousal. But it never was addressed )
Or if its sexual attraction and i am somehow denying that it is. yayyyyy
But then i Heard abt sex-repulsed allo, but i STILL DIDNT KNEW IF ITS THIS BC I DIDNT KNEW IF I ACTUALLY FELT SEXUAL ATTRACTION OR NOT
.
Until i thought ‘’ do you actually nlt feel sexual attraction or are you just good at controling yourself ‘’
This is where it made me have a crisis bc i get intrusive thoughts that includes something of what i call GROINAL RESPONCE ( they suck btw )
And it gives me uncomfortable sensations that i dont like bc it makes me feel like a fraud and that i am somehow forcing myself to be asexual EVEN THOUGH I DON’T LABEL MYSELF THAT WAY. I just go there bc i relate to all of this. I never knew sexual attraction would be so hard to indicate or understand. Heck Even every single kind of attractions bc all of them were just confusing bc i wouldnt Even know what i feel.
Especially if i have an overwhelming love for ppl. Fluster around three and just wanna be close to them without leading to sex but i now feel like that have to think abt ppl that way bc of how ppl percieved relationships. But i dont want to to that. I dont feel like that for them ( i think ) and dont want to do it either
Idk if its bc i genuinely dont feel sexual attraction with sex-repulsion. Or if i actually do feel it but im just somehow goood at controling it to the point that its unoticeable ( with Sex-repulsion ).
Idk what i feel. I dont remember a Time feeling that way for others. Idk if its just puberty ( Thats why i am unlabeled ) Idk if i am somehow repressed. Idk if i am just good at controling myself or if i genuinely dont feel that way.
Its hard to know what i feel. Idk who to talk to abt this bc my parents are literal ANTI- LGBTS and no where in my enviorment knows abt asexuality. Heck its a bit….oversexualized.
What the heck am i?
https://redd.it/1lri9nl
@asexualityonreddit
Bc after finding out abt asexuality, this has made me realise my surroundings more often and how ppl feel. And i have also noticed ppl calling sensual attraction as something sexual bc they said that sensual attraction leads to sexual attraction that makes you LEAD TO SEX AFTERWARDS.
This got stuck in my head to the point sexual intrusive thoughts came in anytime when i enjoy sensual thoughts and or daydreams. And then it made me question if i wanted to lead to sexual things or if i genuinely didnt enjoy it.
But anytime i just say ‘’ no, i dont want to lead it to that. I dont feel the urge to do that with someone. I didnt enjoy these thoughts at all ‘’
I would have this weird feeling in my chest as if i am lying abt it to the point that i go to FRICKIN GOOGLE ABT IT…..WHY
I found out abt OCD. Talked abt it with my therapist which they agreed on that.
But it still didnt make me feel better since i still dont know if i feel sexual attraction or not bc idk if its my sensual attraction that is just very strong ( i also have arousal. But it never was addressed )
Or if its sexual attraction and i am somehow denying that it is. yayyyyy
But then i Heard abt sex-repulsed allo, but i STILL DIDNT KNEW IF ITS THIS BC I DIDNT KNEW IF I ACTUALLY FELT SEXUAL ATTRACTION OR NOT
.
Until i thought ‘’ do you actually nlt feel sexual attraction or are you just good at controling yourself ‘’
This is where it made me have a crisis bc i get intrusive thoughts that includes something of what i call GROINAL RESPONCE ( they suck btw )
And it gives me uncomfortable sensations that i dont like bc it makes me feel like a fraud and that i am somehow forcing myself to be asexual EVEN THOUGH I DON’T LABEL MYSELF THAT WAY. I just go there bc i relate to all of this. I never knew sexual attraction would be so hard to indicate or understand. Heck Even every single kind of attractions bc all of them were just confusing bc i wouldnt Even know what i feel.
Especially if i have an overwhelming love for ppl. Fluster around three and just wanna be close to them without leading to sex but i now feel like that have to think abt ppl that way bc of how ppl percieved relationships. But i dont want to to that. I dont feel like that for them ( i think ) and dont want to do it either
Idk if its bc i genuinely dont feel sexual attraction with sex-repulsion. Or if i actually do feel it but im just somehow goood at controling it to the point that its unoticeable ( with Sex-repulsion ).
Idk what i feel. I dont remember a Time feeling that way for others. Idk if its just puberty ( Thats why i am unlabeled ) Idk if i am somehow repressed. Idk if i am just good at controling myself or if i genuinely dont feel that way.
Its hard to know what i feel. Idk who to talk to abt this bc my parents are literal ANTI- LGBTS and no where in my enviorment knows abt asexuality. Heck its a bit….oversexualized.
What the heck am i?
https://redd.it/1lri9nl
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I opened up about a stress and my allo friend suggested getting laid
I was talking about a situation that took me back to feeling like being back to helpless childhood and this was the advice she gave. I get stress relief works like that for allos but goodness that's not the solution for everything?!
https://redd.it/1lre7xq
@asexualityonreddit
I was talking about a situation that took me back to feeling like being back to helpless childhood and this was the advice she gave. I get stress relief works like that for allos but goodness that's not the solution for everything?!
https://redd.it/1lre7xq
@asexualityonreddit
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I made a subreddit
I don't know what else to say, please join and help fellow ace/aro people or seek advice. It's still very new and i'll take any suggestions (like adding more flairs and stuff which I definetly want to do).
r/aromanticasexualhelp
https://redd.it/1lrmxrw
@asexualityonreddit
I don't know what else to say, please join and help fellow ace/aro people or seek advice. It's still very new and i'll take any suggestions (like adding more flairs and stuff which I definetly want to do).
r/aromanticasexualhelp
https://redd.it/1lrmxrw
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Describe what kind of ace you are in the worst way possible and I’ll try to guess
just something for fun! for example, mine would be “yes in theory, no in practice” (aegosexual)
https://redd.it/1lrp4oz
@asexualityonreddit
just something for fun! for example, mine would be “yes in theory, no in practice” (aegosexual)
https://redd.it/1lrp4oz
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Got chided for using the word “allosexual”
I’ve flaired this post “Aphobia” but I’m unsure if it’s the right flair.
So the other day I made this post on Reddit (https://www.reddit.com/r/answers/s/Z3YhrmzjVn) where I used the term “allosexual” and I got chided for it in the comments.
I’m an asexual man who regularly lurks around this sub and seeing the word “allosexual” being used regularly, I had no idea that the word wouldn’t be accepted outside of ace spaces.
Thoughts? Anyone else with a similar experience online or in real life?
Edit: typo
https://redd.it/1lrra3f
@asexualityonreddit
I’ve flaired this post “Aphobia” but I’m unsure if it’s the right flair.
So the other day I made this post on Reddit (https://www.reddit.com/r/answers/s/Z3YhrmzjVn) where I used the term “allosexual” and I got chided for it in the comments.
I’m an asexual man who regularly lurks around this sub and seeing the word “allosexual” being used regularly, I had no idea that the word wouldn’t be accepted outside of ace spaces.
Thoughts? Anyone else with a similar experience online or in real life?
Edit: typo
https://redd.it/1lrra3f
@asexualityonreddit
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Am I Asexual?
So I'm a 13 year old girl(she/her pronouns) who is straight. I like reading romance and im fine if i read smut scenes. Though i have never felt sexual attraction to a guy. Like, im fine with cuddles, kisses, hugs, etc but i wouldn't want to do sex with someone and i dont have that feeling. ive never had a crush but i do have a type. i asked my friend who is non-binary and demi and they said its a fluid type and i should use labels that are vaild and comfortable to me. i know i'm not demisexual because i have very close relationships with some guy friends and i have never felt any sexual attraction to them.(even if they were my type).
also, is it to early to call myself asexual? i know i could change over time.
i dont know and im really confused 😭
someone please send help
https://redd.it/1lrsgdc
@asexualityonreddit
So I'm a 13 year old girl(she/her pronouns) who is straight. I like reading romance and im fine if i read smut scenes. Though i have never felt sexual attraction to a guy. Like, im fine with cuddles, kisses, hugs, etc but i wouldn't want to do sex with someone and i dont have that feeling. ive never had a crush but i do have a type. i asked my friend who is non-binary and demi and they said its a fluid type and i should use labels that are vaild and comfortable to me. i know i'm not demisexual because i have very close relationships with some guy friends and i have never felt any sexual attraction to them.(even if they were my type).
also, is it to early to call myself asexual? i know i could change over time.
i dont know and im really confused 😭
someone please send help
https://redd.it/1lrsgdc
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Aesthetic as an asexual?
I would love some support.
You see it if you read my profile.
Earlier today I was doing some cleaning and I got upset. I have mild autism and I barely melt down. But I had a melt down because there was a spider and it took me a whole two minutes to get the hose on the vacume to suck it up.
That said...
As well as all else with my being a Butch and Asexual...
I think I just more like how some women look and sound more than anything.
I don't want friends and a partner.
Just being is hard enough as is and I rather continue the rest of my life as I am without those two.
I'm just glad to get through each day at this point. (32 I am.)
Is there anyone else the same or kinda the same?
https://redd.it/1lruood
@asexualityonreddit
I would love some support.
You see it if you read my profile.
Earlier today I was doing some cleaning and I got upset. I have mild autism and I barely melt down. But I had a melt down because there was a spider and it took me a whole two minutes to get the hose on the vacume to suck it up.
That said...
As well as all else with my being a Butch and Asexual...
I think I just more like how some women look and sound more than anything.
I don't want friends and a partner.
Just being is hard enough as is and I rather continue the rest of my life as I am without those two.
I'm just glad to get through each day at this point. (32 I am.)
Is there anyone else the same or kinda the same?
https://redd.it/1lruood
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Waiting for sex
So I just read a post about an allo heterosexual guy who has been single for 3+ years and now has a girlfriend, but she doesn't want to have sex immediately and is asking him to wait a couple of months, which he is finding incredible annoying and might break up over it.
This is so weird to me - this isn't to say all allos are weird, but plenty of people agreed with him in the comments so I am just so confused. Like if he breaks up, he won't have sex until he finds another girl, which might not happen for a few years again. So why would he break up with a girl he could have sex with in a couple of months, just to be alone? Like why give up sex in three months because you can't wait, when you won't have any sex if you break up????
Does your partner witholding sex build up resentment for them, so much you want to leave them over it just to hurt them back or something? Or does it just remove all your feelings for that person? Or is this guy just weird? Like why is being single better than being with a person who might not want sex immediately?
https://redd.it/1lrqiqw
@asexualityonreddit
So I just read a post about an allo heterosexual guy who has been single for 3+ years and now has a girlfriend, but she doesn't want to have sex immediately and is asking him to wait a couple of months, which he is finding incredible annoying and might break up over it.
This is so weird to me - this isn't to say all allos are weird, but plenty of people agreed with him in the comments so I am just so confused. Like if he breaks up, he won't have sex until he finds another girl, which might not happen for a few years again. So why would he break up with a girl he could have sex with in a couple of months, just to be alone? Like why give up sex in three months because you can't wait, when you won't have any sex if you break up????
Does your partner witholding sex build up resentment for them, so much you want to leave them over it just to hurt them back or something? Or does it just remove all your feelings for that person? Or is this guy just weird? Like why is being single better than being with a person who might not want sex immediately?
https://redd.it/1lrqiqw
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I’m very confused
I’m a 27 year old autistic male identifying with my biological sex (male). I’ve recently begun to wonder about asexuality relating to me.
I grew up pretty religious so my sexuality was pretty tamped down, but I have had my fair share of sex with men. The issue I’ve run into is that… I don’t really like sex. I don’t like the sensory stuff, I don’t love kissing, I don’t love bodily fluids on me. The sensory stuff is a nightmare.
I’m dating a guy right now and he has a pretty high libido. But I love him so deeply. But he’ll ask me about my fantasies or kinks and I have legitimately no idea, cause I don’t think about those. I do see attractive men and will have a sort of bodily response (erection, or nerves). But I don’t really… think about having sex with them. If I find them attractive I’m more like ooh talking to them is so hot.
Guys seem to be way more sexually attracted to me than I am to them. I actually feel like sex is a waste of my time, or a waste of our time. And I just feel irritated having to do it. And I often lose my erection during sexy time for like no reason.
I just don’t understand if, like… that means I’m asexual… cause I do find men attractive, and like… I have had sex and like… I’m not against it? But like… if I get aroused at a man, not even thinking about sex, just like them as aesthetically pleasing?
I’ve never had a celebrity crush, really. Like, people say ohhhh that man is so hot I would have sex with him. But I just like see them as hot and have rarely ever had a sexual thought.
I usually use porn when getting off, but I mostly just get aroused by the mechanics of it all and the sounds. But I don’t know that I have ever really WANTED sex???
https://redd.it/1lrykia
@asexualityonreddit
I’m a 27 year old autistic male identifying with my biological sex (male). I’ve recently begun to wonder about asexuality relating to me.
I grew up pretty religious so my sexuality was pretty tamped down, but I have had my fair share of sex with men. The issue I’ve run into is that… I don’t really like sex. I don’t like the sensory stuff, I don’t love kissing, I don’t love bodily fluids on me. The sensory stuff is a nightmare.
I’m dating a guy right now and he has a pretty high libido. But I love him so deeply. But he’ll ask me about my fantasies or kinks and I have legitimately no idea, cause I don’t think about those. I do see attractive men and will have a sort of bodily response (erection, or nerves). But I don’t really… think about having sex with them. If I find them attractive I’m more like ooh talking to them is so hot.
Guys seem to be way more sexually attracted to me than I am to them. I actually feel like sex is a waste of my time, or a waste of our time. And I just feel irritated having to do it. And I often lose my erection during sexy time for like no reason.
I just don’t understand if, like… that means I’m asexual… cause I do find men attractive, and like… I have had sex and like… I’m not against it? But like… if I get aroused at a man, not even thinking about sex, just like them as aesthetically pleasing?
I’ve never had a celebrity crush, really. Like, people say ohhhh that man is so hot I would have sex with him. But I just like see them as hot and have rarely ever had a sexual thought.
I usually use porn when getting off, but I mostly just get aroused by the mechanics of it all and the sounds. But I don’t know that I have ever really WANTED sex???
https://redd.it/1lrykia
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I saw this on Tumblr. Never thought of it like that. What do you think
https://i.imgur.com/369fU9R.png
https://redd.it/1lryv3b
@asexualityonreddit
https://i.imgur.com/369fU9R.png
https://redd.it/1lryv3b
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Imgur
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