My Ex Guy Best Friend Demanded I Sleep With Him + Update
To clear things up:
1. Both me and Ryan are autistic. We have slight communication issues but are otherwise fine.
2. We were together when we were diagnosed with high functioning autism
3.Me, Tulip and Ryan gave been going to the same small business weekly for years.
4.Tulip and Ryan have been together since senior year of HS
5.Me and Ryan go to the same university but have different majors
6. Tulip and Ryan live together off campus for convenience
7.I don't have a dormmate, and I only have one bed
ANYWAYS
It's truly shocking how much can happen in two days.
Yesterday, I made a post in tears asking the Holy Aces for help because my guy best friend just shattered our friendship. I suggest you go read that before this.
Today, I met up with his girlfriend and my good friend, Tulip to tell her everything. And she told me something I can never even think of. I'm going to let my inner writer out and try and explain this. If it sounds like a book, that was technically the goal.
I stepped into the small cafe, one that held so many memories that I'd have to let go of soon. Ignoring the small looks from the waitress that overheard my conversation with Ryan, I sat down in the usual corner booth. I got my usual hot chocolate and brownie while I waited.
Tulip arrived looking like she didn't know what sleep was, her clothes were disheveled, hair a mess. There was a certain look in her eyes that told me she already knew what this was about. I let her order and receive her food before I told her. ere's how the conversation went:
I reached in my bag and pulled out printed copies of his Ryan's messages. All 217 of them. All ignored. I proceeded to explain what Ryan said while she flipped through the pages of messages. Her eyes were wide, filled with distress and shock.
Tulip: He told you that...? Her voice was so soft, almost defeated. It broke my heart.
Me: Unfortunately yes... Look, I've looked into therapy, you can go with me. We can work through our pain- I immediately tried to steer the conversation in a different direction when I saw the tears in her eyes. But she cut me off with a raised hand.
Tulip:No, I knew he did something whenshe texted me telling me that you tried to touch his stick and balls.
What. The. Fuck. He's been going around telling people that I literally tried to GROPE him. I was shocked. But that was only layer one.
Tulip then told me Ryan came into their shared apartment and pinned her to the bed. He yelled at her to tell him that he was handsome and the best she's had. She didn't take that though, she pushed him off and started swinging a baseball bat until he left to stay with his mom.
Me: Girl, that's abuse. Why didn't you call the police? This man is crazy.
Tulip: I know, but he's never done it before. This was new, so I broke up with him on the spot.
She then told me that she originally didn't even like him like that, but he guilted her into a relationship and made her feel like she 'owed' him that and her body. She didn't like sex and never did, just pretended to like it to keep him happy. I told her that's rape and she's a victim.
I paid, we left and I brought her back to my campus dorm where we both broke down in tears while trying to comfort each other. I did this because I knew Ryan would not be able to reach us. I already contacted the counselor and told him if Ryan comes near my dorm nothing good will happen.
Apparently Ryan has done this to countless people, men and women, but I was his main target. The long game, his "soon to be greatest achievement". Sex was actually just at trophy to him. So anyone that called him a misogynist, you were right.
We stayed there for a couple hours, looking through the comments on my post. She even helped me reply to some of them. She's currently sleeping in my bed, I let her. I stayed on the floor. She did give me permission to write this update.
His mom called me. Stupidly, I answered. She blew up on me for
To clear things up:
1. Both me and Ryan are autistic. We have slight communication issues but are otherwise fine.
2. We were together when we were diagnosed with high functioning autism
3.Me, Tulip and Ryan gave been going to the same small business weekly for years.
4.Tulip and Ryan have been together since senior year of HS
5.Me and Ryan go to the same university but have different majors
6. Tulip and Ryan live together off campus for convenience
7.I don't have a dormmate, and I only have one bed
ANYWAYS
It's truly shocking how much can happen in two days.
Yesterday, I made a post in tears asking the Holy Aces for help because my guy best friend just shattered our friendship. I suggest you go read that before this.
Today, I met up with his girlfriend and my good friend, Tulip to tell her everything. And she told me something I can never even think of. I'm going to let my inner writer out and try and explain this. If it sounds like a book, that was technically the goal.
I stepped into the small cafe, one that held so many memories that I'd have to let go of soon. Ignoring the small looks from the waitress that overheard my conversation with Ryan, I sat down in the usual corner booth. I got my usual hot chocolate and brownie while I waited.
Tulip arrived looking like she didn't know what sleep was, her clothes were disheveled, hair a mess. There was a certain look in her eyes that told me she already knew what this was about. I let her order and receive her food before I told her. ere's how the conversation went:
I reached in my bag and pulled out printed copies of his Ryan's messages. All 217 of them. All ignored. I proceeded to explain what Ryan said while she flipped through the pages of messages. Her eyes were wide, filled with distress and shock.
Tulip: He told you that...? Her voice was so soft, almost defeated. It broke my heart.
Me: Unfortunately yes... Look, I've looked into therapy, you can go with me. We can work through our pain- I immediately tried to steer the conversation in a different direction when I saw the tears in her eyes. But she cut me off with a raised hand.
Tulip:No, I knew he did something whenshe texted me telling me that you tried to touch his stick and balls.
What. The. Fuck. He's been going around telling people that I literally tried to GROPE him. I was shocked. But that was only layer one.
Tulip then told me Ryan came into their shared apartment and pinned her to the bed. He yelled at her to tell him that he was handsome and the best she's had. She didn't take that though, she pushed him off and started swinging a baseball bat until he left to stay with his mom.
Me: Girl, that's abuse. Why didn't you call the police? This man is crazy.
Tulip: I know, but he's never done it before. This was new, so I broke up with him on the spot.
She then told me that she originally didn't even like him like that, but he guilted her into a relationship and made her feel like she 'owed' him that and her body. She didn't like sex and never did, just pretended to like it to keep him happy. I told her that's rape and she's a victim.
I paid, we left and I brought her back to my campus dorm where we both broke down in tears while trying to comfort each other. I did this because I knew Ryan would not be able to reach us. I already contacted the counselor and told him if Ryan comes near my dorm nothing good will happen.
Apparently Ryan has done this to countless people, men and women, but I was his main target. The long game, his "soon to be greatest achievement". Sex was actually just at trophy to him. So anyone that called him a misogynist, you were right.
We stayed there for a couple hours, looking through the comments on my post. She even helped me reply to some of them. She's currently sleeping in my bed, I let her. I stayed on the floor. She did give me permission to write this update.
His mom called me. Stupidly, I answered. She blew up on me for
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"causing her baby harm" saying he did nothing wrong. I gave her the full story and sent the screenshots but she doubled down.
Soon enough it got so bad I had to sit in the bathroom and whisper yell with this lady so I didn't wake up Tulip.
I swear to God. Anyone that said he'd use self deletion as a threat, you were right. RYAN IS IN THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE HE Drew red on wrist. I almost went to go see him out of habit. But I didn't. I hung up, wishing her best wishes and skid back onto the floor. I almost fell asleep there, but it's still the floor.
I haven't told Tulip about this, she's still asleep when I'm writing this. I'll tell her as soon as she's functioning again. And I'm going to help her move out of her apartment as soon as possible.
I wanted to update as soon as possible, just so you guys don't have to worry. Me and Tulip are fine. I told our uni and he'll most likely be expelled. We're both safe and looking into serious therapy. Our mutual friends have been super understanding and even told us some of the red flags they noticed.
If anything else happens I'll tell, but that's all for now.
Thank you, Holy Aces, for your advice and support. I'm not okay, but I'll get better. Neither me or Tulip will ever see this man again, so we're both safe. It hurts me to lose this friend, but I can see now he was never a friend. I didn't know him.
Also, don't worry, he didn't go deep enough. Ryan will most likely make a full recovery, but I really don't care anymore.
https://redd.it/1lfvfc2
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Soon enough it got so bad I had to sit in the bathroom and whisper yell with this lady so I didn't wake up Tulip.
I swear to God. Anyone that said he'd use self deletion as a threat, you were right. RYAN IS IN THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE HE Drew red on wrist. I almost went to go see him out of habit. But I didn't. I hung up, wishing her best wishes and skid back onto the floor. I almost fell asleep there, but it's still the floor.
I haven't told Tulip about this, she's still asleep when I'm writing this. I'll tell her as soon as she's functioning again. And I'm going to help her move out of her apartment as soon as possible.
I wanted to update as soon as possible, just so you guys don't have to worry. Me and Tulip are fine. I told our uni and he'll most likely be expelled. We're both safe and looking into serious therapy. Our mutual friends have been super understanding and even told us some of the red flags they noticed.
If anything else happens I'll tell, but that's all for now.
Thank you, Holy Aces, for your advice and support. I'm not okay, but I'll get better. Neither me or Tulip will ever see this man again, so we're both safe. It hurts me to lose this friend, but I can see now he was never a friend. I didn't know him.
Also, don't worry, he didn't go deep enough. Ryan will most likely make a full recovery, but I really don't care anymore.
https://redd.it/1lfvfc2
@asexualityonreddit
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Do you believe we’re only 1%?
I’ve read this so many times! “Asexuals are only 1% of the population.” People use this like common knowledge, but when you’re searching for the source - it’s always some small research taken in 2002 or a poll with a small number of participants.
Tbh, I think if it were a really huge poll, the results still would be doubtful.
First of all, to say you’re asexual, you must know asexuality EXISTS. We aces are not so widely popular. I haven’t heard of asexuality for most of my life (and I’m 34).
You must know not only the word but the actual meaning. What asexuality is. But your first introduction to asexuality can be some stupid opinion or misconception. In this case you can just think, Oh, that’s definitely not me, and stop investigating the topic.
Also, you must actively think about your orientation to conclude you’re asexual. And for many aces sex-related themes are not the most interesting stuff. They just don’t question themselves, too busy thinking of their careers, hobbies, or families.
Some people believe they would still meet “The One”. Or think they are ill, broken, or traumatized, not realizing they’re just asexual.
Society constantly tells us sex is such an enormous and important part of life. No wonder that some can’t accept their asexuality. (It can be hard to accept it in your head, and to say it even in an anonymous poll is an even harder challenge).
I think sometimes of people I met years ago. They might have been asexuals, they acted and talked like they were ace. But I had no idea then. And they may live their whole life and never know.
So is 1% is our proportion in the population, or does the number just shows how tiny our representation is in a global discourse?
(Please excuse my English, I’m not a native speaker).
https://redd.it/1lg09ka
@asexualityonreddit
I’ve read this so many times! “Asexuals are only 1% of the population.” People use this like common knowledge, but when you’re searching for the source - it’s always some small research taken in 2002 or a poll with a small number of participants.
Tbh, I think if it were a really huge poll, the results still would be doubtful.
First of all, to say you’re asexual, you must know asexuality EXISTS. We aces are not so widely popular. I haven’t heard of asexuality for most of my life (and I’m 34).
You must know not only the word but the actual meaning. What asexuality is. But your first introduction to asexuality can be some stupid opinion or misconception. In this case you can just think, Oh, that’s definitely not me, and stop investigating the topic.
Also, you must actively think about your orientation to conclude you’re asexual. And for many aces sex-related themes are not the most interesting stuff. They just don’t question themselves, too busy thinking of their careers, hobbies, or families.
Some people believe they would still meet “The One”. Or think they are ill, broken, or traumatized, not realizing they’re just asexual.
Society constantly tells us sex is such an enormous and important part of life. No wonder that some can’t accept their asexuality. (It can be hard to accept it in your head, and to say it even in an anonymous poll is an even harder challenge).
I think sometimes of people I met years ago. They might have been asexuals, they acted and talked like they were ace. But I had no idea then. And they may live their whole life and never know.
So is 1% is our proportion in the population, or does the number just shows how tiny our representation is in a global discourse?
(Please excuse my English, I’m not a native speaker).
https://redd.it/1lg09ka
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I'm ace and I keep having sexual dreams... it makes me so uncomfortable.
I started Lexapro for my anxiety maybe a year ago, and something it can do it cause very vivid dreams. Well, that would be fine if it didn't give me vividly SEXUAL dreams. It's probably not possible without stopping the med, but jeez, is there anything I can do to calm down these dreams? Lexapro helps me a whole lot so I don't want to stop using it just for one silly symptom, but most times when I have a freaky dream, I wake up and feel dirty 😭😭😭 it's... agh I don't like it!
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I started Lexapro for my anxiety maybe a year ago, and something it can do it cause very vivid dreams. Well, that would be fine if it didn't give me vividly SEXUAL dreams. It's probably not possible without stopping the med, but jeez, is there anything I can do to calm down these dreams? Lexapro helps me a whole lot so I don't want to stop using it just for one silly symptom, but most times when I have a freaky dream, I wake up and feel dirty 😭😭😭 it's... agh I don't like it!
https://redd.it/1lg7bsr
@asexualityonreddit
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