I think i might be Asexual..?
(I posted it on r/asexuality but i wanted to share it here too.)
I've been struggling with my sexual/romantic attraction for a while now, and i still don't know what am i supposed to be.. i'm almost 21 years old. I'm FtM transgender, i started transitioning about a year ago.
I've never been in love to be honest, i never had a crush. I just don't think about people in a romantic or sexual way at all. I never thought something is wrong with me, until i was 14-16 years old i thought maybe "gender just doesn't matter" to me, so i thought i was Pansexual.
I was 16 years old when i met my (now ex) girlfriend. It was my first relationship. She was way more experienced than me, and i always felt frustrated when it came to being intimate. I often forced myself to do things with her, just to make her happy. At the end i started having panic attacks and cry for no reason. After 2 years of dating we stopped having sex in general and i felt so much better. At the same time she was frustrated of course, and that made me feel really bad.
We've been dating for 4 years and broke up recently (because of different reasons, she wants to be a nun). But in the last 2 years we rarely got intimate, and i was happy like that. At the same time, because i've never been with a man before i feel like i missed out something. I think..? Like i'm almost 21 and a "virgin" and it's bothers me a little bit. Not because i want to have sex with a man but because i'm getting older and older and i feel like a total loser. It's hard to explain..
Since i started Hormone Replacement Therapy, my libido is much higher than before i do feel sexually frustrated i guess, but i don't really want to act on it and find an actual partner.
Most of the time i feel like being alone is so much better. I don't want anyone in my life right now, and i'm happy like that. After my relationship ended with my girlfriend i thought i was attracted to guys but so far i've never been sexually or romantically attracted to anyone, so i feel like there is something is wrong with me.
Being intimate was always a problem for me, even small things like hand holding, kissing or cuddling can make me feel really uncomfortable. At this point i think i do want a best friend or soulmate in the future who could understand me. I do like hugs, friendly cuddling and kisses on the cheeks but not in the sexual or romantic way.
I think i might be Aromantic & Asexual..?
https://redd.it/cdxkat
@asexualityonreddit
(I posted it on r/asexuality but i wanted to share it here too.)
I've been struggling with my sexual/romantic attraction for a while now, and i still don't know what am i supposed to be.. i'm almost 21 years old. I'm FtM transgender, i started transitioning about a year ago.
I've never been in love to be honest, i never had a crush. I just don't think about people in a romantic or sexual way at all. I never thought something is wrong with me, until i was 14-16 years old i thought maybe "gender just doesn't matter" to me, so i thought i was Pansexual.
I was 16 years old when i met my (now ex) girlfriend. It was my first relationship. She was way more experienced than me, and i always felt frustrated when it came to being intimate. I often forced myself to do things with her, just to make her happy. At the end i started having panic attacks and cry for no reason. After 2 years of dating we stopped having sex in general and i felt so much better. At the same time she was frustrated of course, and that made me feel really bad.
We've been dating for 4 years and broke up recently (because of different reasons, she wants to be a nun). But in the last 2 years we rarely got intimate, and i was happy like that. At the same time, because i've never been with a man before i feel like i missed out something. I think..? Like i'm almost 21 and a "virgin" and it's bothers me a little bit. Not because i want to have sex with a man but because i'm getting older and older and i feel like a total loser. It's hard to explain..
Since i started Hormone Replacement Therapy, my libido is much higher than before i do feel sexually frustrated i guess, but i don't really want to act on it and find an actual partner.
Most of the time i feel like being alone is so much better. I don't want anyone in my life right now, and i'm happy like that. After my relationship ended with my girlfriend i thought i was attracted to guys but so far i've never been sexually or romantically attracted to anyone, so i feel like there is something is wrong with me.
Being intimate was always a problem for me, even small things like hand holding, kissing or cuddling can make me feel really uncomfortable. At this point i think i do want a best friend or soulmate in the future who could understand me. I do like hugs, friendly cuddling and kisses on the cheeks but not in the sexual or romantic way.
I think i might be Aromantic & Asexual..?
https://redd.it/cdxkat
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
r/Asexual - I think i might be Asexual..?
6 votes and 4 comments so far on Reddit
My biggest sexual fantasy... long in-depth talks
When a friend asked what my biggest sexual fantasy was ,in game of truth or dare, the first thing that came into my mind was:
“I want to stay up all night talking about stuff that we both like ,going into really deep content.” Something like this.
But of course I couldn’t say that because even though they know that I’m not a sexual person, I somehow thought that the fact that my sexual fantasy doesn’t have anything physical in it would be too hard to comprehend for people that love physical action(?) (idk how to refer.. cis maybe)
https://redd.it/ce02t3
@asexualityonreddit
When a friend asked what my biggest sexual fantasy was ,in game of truth or dare, the first thing that came into my mind was:
“I want to stay up all night talking about stuff that we both like ,going into really deep content.” Something like this.
But of course I couldn’t say that because even though they know that I’m not a sexual person, I somehow thought that the fact that my sexual fantasy doesn’t have anything physical in it would be too hard to comprehend for people that love physical action(?) (idk how to refer.. cis maybe)
https://redd.it/ce02t3
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
r/Asexual - My biggest sexual fantasy... long in-depth talks
0 votes and 6 comments so far on Reddit
I found this the other day, this is the first time ever seeing but it feels like I might fit
https://redd.it/cdw2wc
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/cdw2wc
@asexualityonreddit
Allo writer looking for asexual opinions re: kissing in ace/allo couples (cross-post with r/asexuality)
Hello! I'm a (pansexual&panromantic) film academy student working on a short film with an asexual main character, and I've got a question about whether I should include kissing into the main character and her partner's romantic relationship? I know that some aces dislike kissing and some enjoy it, but I'm wondering if any of you would like to see either preference more represented in media? For more context, the main character (asexual and panromantic) and her partner (bisexual and non-binary) are in high school and have been dating for over a year, and the kissing I had in mind is more like an occasional quick good-bye peck on the lips rather than full-on making out. Thank ya'll in advance for your replies :D
https://redd.it/ce3kk0
@asexualityonreddit
Hello! I'm a (pansexual&panromantic) film academy student working on a short film with an asexual main character, and I've got a question about whether I should include kissing into the main character and her partner's romantic relationship? I know that some aces dislike kissing and some enjoy it, but I'm wondering if any of you would like to see either preference more represented in media? For more context, the main character (asexual and panromantic) and her partner (bisexual and non-binary) are in high school and have been dating for over a year, and the kissing I had in mind is more like an occasional quick good-bye peck on the lips rather than full-on making out. Thank ya'll in advance for your replies :D
https://redd.it/ce3kk0
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
r/Asexual - Allo writer looking for asexual opinions re: kissing in ace/allo couples (cross-post with r/asexuality)
0 votes and 5 comments so far on Reddit
5+ year relationship without sex. (There is hope)
Hello, I am an Asexual girl in her 20s and I've been in a relationship with my high school sweetheart for 5+ years.
​
I'm sorry for what's about to be a long post but I strongly feel if I share my full story it will educate others to not make the same mistakes that I had made:
When I was in my teens I dreaded the thought of a relationship. There wasn't a definite reason why I felt this way, it was just a reality for me. I was approached often and even agreed to some relationships with little to no interest in the person (yes I know now that it's wrong) There were times where I'd be repetitively asked by the same person and I'd eventually cave in. I don't mean to sound full of myself but I am a decent looking girl. I took good care of myself, wore makeup and maintained a healthy weight. The reason I feel obligated to note that is because to a lot of people one of the underlining reasons some are Asexual is because they're not confident in their appearance. I would like to further dismiss that stereotype by sharing my story.
At one point I questioned if I was a lesbian but that never amounted to anything. What I did know was that I loved playing video games, specifically mmorpg's. Starting when I was 9 my father and I put together a computer and I played every single day. Any free mmo I could find I played for hours. It became the only thing I cared about and made me very sheltered. I was playing games for 8 hours a day on average on school nights. Through all day to night the only thing that was on my mind was games. At one point I had a gross encounter with a guy on a game called "Free Realms" who'd start sending me really dirty whispers. I promptly blocked him but some of the things he said were so vulgar that my young mind drew a blank and that led me to start making male characters. I can not stress how different your gaming experience is when you're playing a female to a male toon. You're never approached, ever. Which to my sheltered self was great! At school if nobody was talking about video games I was not interested in the conversation. I don't mean to sound rude but I was a very dull person who kept to myself.
Somehow I was always in situations where I'd be openly harassed but I couldn't read between the lines of what's defined as sexual harassment so I wouldn't act on it. One day a kid who we will call "Mark" thought it would be okay to grab my hips and squeeze me from behind every day at the end of lunch. It made me super uncomfortable but I would always play it off as him joking around. Every time a guy did something like this to me I did nothing and it happened on numerous occasions. Do not let that happen to you. Do not be afraid to hurt someones feelings if you're uncomfortable.
At the start of my Sophomore year in high school I overheard a group of kids talking about this game called League of Legends and I was thrilled. I had never played before but this was the first time I found anyone who played any online games. This also just happened to be the group of kids who were associated with the boy that I had a crush on. When I say crush it was the equivalent of romantic interest, nothing physical. So we got a full group together and they showed me how to play. They amusingly assigned me the support role (haha female gamer role) without knowing I was aware of what they were doing. I didn't care though because my crush was ADC (with those of you who are not familiar with League of Legends it just meant I got to be closer to him while we played)
Behind the scenes my crush and I were talking more and more each day at school. I made an effort to get into classes with him seeing as he was two grades above me. When it finally came down to me revealing my interest in him I was surprised to find out that he was just as much interested in me.
It was a very up and down relationship at first. He wanted a full relationship and everything it came with. I worked with him on things I was comfortable and uncomfortable with. We finally hit a middle ground wh
Hello, I am an Asexual girl in her 20s and I've been in a relationship with my high school sweetheart for 5+ years.
​
I'm sorry for what's about to be a long post but I strongly feel if I share my full story it will educate others to not make the same mistakes that I had made:
When I was in my teens I dreaded the thought of a relationship. There wasn't a definite reason why I felt this way, it was just a reality for me. I was approached often and even agreed to some relationships with little to no interest in the person (yes I know now that it's wrong) There were times where I'd be repetitively asked by the same person and I'd eventually cave in. I don't mean to sound full of myself but I am a decent looking girl. I took good care of myself, wore makeup and maintained a healthy weight. The reason I feel obligated to note that is because to a lot of people one of the underlining reasons some are Asexual is because they're not confident in their appearance. I would like to further dismiss that stereotype by sharing my story.
At one point I questioned if I was a lesbian but that never amounted to anything. What I did know was that I loved playing video games, specifically mmorpg's. Starting when I was 9 my father and I put together a computer and I played every single day. Any free mmo I could find I played for hours. It became the only thing I cared about and made me very sheltered. I was playing games for 8 hours a day on average on school nights. Through all day to night the only thing that was on my mind was games. At one point I had a gross encounter with a guy on a game called "Free Realms" who'd start sending me really dirty whispers. I promptly blocked him but some of the things he said were so vulgar that my young mind drew a blank and that led me to start making male characters. I can not stress how different your gaming experience is when you're playing a female to a male toon. You're never approached, ever. Which to my sheltered self was great! At school if nobody was talking about video games I was not interested in the conversation. I don't mean to sound rude but I was a very dull person who kept to myself.
Somehow I was always in situations where I'd be openly harassed but I couldn't read between the lines of what's defined as sexual harassment so I wouldn't act on it. One day a kid who we will call "Mark" thought it would be okay to grab my hips and squeeze me from behind every day at the end of lunch. It made me super uncomfortable but I would always play it off as him joking around. Every time a guy did something like this to me I did nothing and it happened on numerous occasions. Do not let that happen to you. Do not be afraid to hurt someones feelings if you're uncomfortable.
At the start of my Sophomore year in high school I overheard a group of kids talking about this game called League of Legends and I was thrilled. I had never played before but this was the first time I found anyone who played any online games. This also just happened to be the group of kids who were associated with the boy that I had a crush on. When I say crush it was the equivalent of romantic interest, nothing physical. So we got a full group together and they showed me how to play. They amusingly assigned me the support role (haha female gamer role) without knowing I was aware of what they were doing. I didn't care though because my crush was ADC (with those of you who are not familiar with League of Legends it just meant I got to be closer to him while we played)
Behind the scenes my crush and I were talking more and more each day at school. I made an effort to get into classes with him seeing as he was two grades above me. When it finally came down to me revealing my interest in him I was surprised to find out that he was just as much interested in me.
It was a very up and down relationship at first. He wanted a full relationship and everything it came with. I worked with him on things I was comfortable and uncomfortable with. We finally hit a middle ground wh
ere both parties were happy and we've been strong ever since. It can work as long as you're both willing to put in the effort with the person you love, I promise you.
​
Note: Reading back on this I'm under the impression I wasn't the greatest of people and I probably thought too highly of myself in many instances. I'm not the same person I was and if given the opportunity I would apologize to every person who approached me that I had stringed along.
https://redd.it/ce2hpd
@asexualityonreddit
​
Note: Reading back on this I'm under the impression I wasn't the greatest of people and I probably thought too highly of myself in many instances. I'm not the same person I was and if given the opportunity I would apologize to every person who approached me that I had stringed along.
https://redd.it/ce2hpd
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
r/Asexual - 5+ year relationship without sex. (There is hope)
9 votes and 2 comments so far on Reddit
I went on a date by accident once because I just don't think that way
https://redd.it/ce0rbe
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/ce0rbe
@asexualityonreddit