Asexuals who aren't aromantic, what do you call yourselves?
I'm an asexual but recently have been thinking... I am not interested in kissing a man but I will a woman, and I am a woman. Now the question is, what the heckle do I call myself? Cause technically I am not a lesbian cause I do not like sex but should I consider that as a title? And just say I'm not homo like that's a difference? Or is there another word for a woman who is attracted to women romantically but not sexually?
https://redd.it/1eri7ko
@asexualityonreddit
I'm an asexual but recently have been thinking... I am not interested in kissing a man but I will a woman, and I am a woman. Now the question is, what the heckle do I call myself? Cause technically I am not a lesbian cause I do not like sex but should I consider that as a title? And just say I'm not homo like that's a difference? Or is there another word for a woman who is attracted to women romantically but not sexually?
https://redd.it/1eri7ko
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I really just want a movie or TV show with an asexual main character
I know there's some movies and TV show with aroace character and they're good! I love them! but sometimes I really just want a proper piece of media that's only completely about an asexual person and their struggles and thoughts and daily lives. I think it'd be nice to see representation like this and have something to fully relate to as someone who's aroace, you know? that's basically also why I'm patiently waiting for the lovess book live action, cause even tho I'm for sure over the age of the original target audience I'd love to see the story portrayed in a TV show
https://redd.it/1erlzgz
@asexualityonreddit
I know there's some movies and TV show with aroace character and they're good! I love them! but sometimes I really just want a proper piece of media that's only completely about an asexual person and their struggles and thoughts and daily lives. I think it'd be nice to see representation like this and have something to fully relate to as someone who's aroace, you know? that's basically also why I'm patiently waiting for the lovess book live action, cause even tho I'm for sure over the age of the original target audience I'd love to see the story portrayed in a TV show
https://redd.it/1erlzgz
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Asexuals in a healthy relationship with a loving partner, SHARE YOUR STORIES💕
Had a dream which hit me with a lil sadness about possibly being those people who end up alone for the rest of their lives bUT I know people out there do have loving relationships with their partners while either their partner is also ace OR they respect their boundaries! Also feel free to share how you met and I'm looking for stories that symbolize long term relationships but please feel free to share anything! I need some good emotions and encouragement to know I possibly mAY find the one💕🥰 and even if I don't, I'm happy that you all have💕
You can also add articles if you want if stories from history as well if u have any!
https://redd.it/1ern5hr
@asexualityonreddit
Had a dream which hit me with a lil sadness about possibly being those people who end up alone for the rest of their lives bUT I know people out there do have loving relationships with their partners while either their partner is also ace OR they respect their boundaries! Also feel free to share how you met and I'm looking for stories that symbolize long term relationships but please feel free to share anything! I need some good emotions and encouragement to know I possibly mAY find the one💕🥰 and even if I don't, I'm happy that you all have💕
You can also add articles if you want if stories from history as well if u have any!
https://redd.it/1ern5hr
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How to shut people's mouth when they say "you re not asexual, you just have to give sincere try"?
I am a 21F who identifies as asexual. Even the people closest to me keep saying that I just need to explore more, meet more people, and go through different experiences. It's really annoying to hear those suggestions from them. Based on my past experiences, I can confidently say that I'm not being true to myself if I try to engage in sex—the thought itself feels very gross.
https://redd.it/1eruxoy
@asexualityonreddit
I am a 21F who identifies as asexual. Even the people closest to me keep saying that I just need to explore more, meet more people, and go through different experiences. It's really annoying to hear those suggestions from them. Based on my past experiences, I can confidently say that I'm not being true to myself if I try to engage in sex—the thought itself feels very gross.
https://redd.it/1eruxoy
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Watching Dragon Ball for the first time since I was a kid and realizing this is just ace on ace crime
https://redd.it/1erpdfm
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1erpdfm
@asexualityonreddit
im dating a sex repulsed girl who says she wants to try and work towards sex
ive dated this girl for a couple months and she is one of the sweetest people ive ever known. so far everything has been fun and what i appreciate the most is how easy talking about everything is with her. she told me ahead of time that she was asexual and sex repulsed and she was nervous and anxious about intimate stuff that wasnt sexual too. through some simple asking hugging came pretty fast and has been great and through some thorough communication and moving slowly kissing also went down pretty smoothly and she says she enjoys both a lot.
i have never had sex in my life but i am not asexual. i told her from the beginning that i dont want to swear off sex for the rest of my life and that i dont know yet if it is something i need in my romantic relationship. i was talking to her about it a couple days ago about how the intimate stuff weve been trying was kinda the last things that werent sexual in nature and that if we move on that wont be the case anymore. she told me that she was fine with it and that maybe if we did some of the milder stuff id be able to live without the more intense stuff ie sexual intercourse. i told her that i dont think that would be the case at all. ive thought about it some more and it reallly is not that what i have going on with her right now isnt fun or intimate but im still quite young and i dont think id want a romantic relationship without sex.
i read a lot of people their experience online and they say its all about being willing to do so and loving someone enough to do that, but i dont think id be able to love anyone enough to have a romantic relationship without sex (i know about poly options and it will allways be something worth considering but it doesnt feel like it will satisfy me and she is kinda open to iit but she wouldnt be happy about it so thatd be its own can of worms). the thing is that i dont know if me not being able to do that is just me "needing it in my relationship cause thats just who i am" or something id have to get over that i just cant cause of emotional immaturity.
i talked to her again after that and i told her how i feel like i couldnt do it, but how i also see how having sex would make her uncomfortable and that i wouldnt want to make her do anything that would make her feel bad. i told her how i really liked her as a person and how i do want whats best for us even if that meant breaking it off. i asked her would you want a romantic relationship without sex and she said yes. (i dont know if i should have asked her the next thing but she did tell me multiple times already that she would be willing to try things) i asked her if she would be willing to carefully try and work towards sex. she said yes and asked me if i expected that answer. i told her i was not willing or daring to expect anything.
since then weve talked about it a couple times and from what she said to me she is still pretty chill with the idea. she told me she thinks its scary but that shes also a bit curious, and that the thought of doing that with me doesnt repulse her at all which she also finds weird and a little scary. ive told her im glad but that any door shes opened can be closed whenever she wants and that i would want it to be a fun process for her as well. ive told her i want to take it very slow and that there should allways be 4 eyes checking if shes still happy and not just two while were trying things. she told me she thinks im very sweet.
the problem im having is i feel like im asking a lot, because i am. and eventhough shes cool with it im kinda terrified that shes trying to change herself for me. she tells me shes never been more comfortable around anyone and i believe her, but i still overthink this situation a lot. from what ive read about sex repulsed people ive seen sex repulsion as something to be respected, and i kinda dont know where that leaves me here. i want to believe her and i feel like i should, but ive also read that trying to "get over sex repulsiion" can be traumatizing and
ive dated this girl for a couple months and she is one of the sweetest people ive ever known. so far everything has been fun and what i appreciate the most is how easy talking about everything is with her. she told me ahead of time that she was asexual and sex repulsed and she was nervous and anxious about intimate stuff that wasnt sexual too. through some simple asking hugging came pretty fast and has been great and through some thorough communication and moving slowly kissing also went down pretty smoothly and she says she enjoys both a lot.
i have never had sex in my life but i am not asexual. i told her from the beginning that i dont want to swear off sex for the rest of my life and that i dont know yet if it is something i need in my romantic relationship. i was talking to her about it a couple days ago about how the intimate stuff weve been trying was kinda the last things that werent sexual in nature and that if we move on that wont be the case anymore. she told me that she was fine with it and that maybe if we did some of the milder stuff id be able to live without the more intense stuff ie sexual intercourse. i told her that i dont think that would be the case at all. ive thought about it some more and it reallly is not that what i have going on with her right now isnt fun or intimate but im still quite young and i dont think id want a romantic relationship without sex.
i read a lot of people their experience online and they say its all about being willing to do so and loving someone enough to do that, but i dont think id be able to love anyone enough to have a romantic relationship without sex (i know about poly options and it will allways be something worth considering but it doesnt feel like it will satisfy me and she is kinda open to iit but she wouldnt be happy about it so thatd be its own can of worms). the thing is that i dont know if me not being able to do that is just me "needing it in my relationship cause thats just who i am" or something id have to get over that i just cant cause of emotional immaturity.
i talked to her again after that and i told her how i feel like i couldnt do it, but how i also see how having sex would make her uncomfortable and that i wouldnt want to make her do anything that would make her feel bad. i told her how i really liked her as a person and how i do want whats best for us even if that meant breaking it off. i asked her would you want a romantic relationship without sex and she said yes. (i dont know if i should have asked her the next thing but she did tell me multiple times already that she would be willing to try things) i asked her if she would be willing to carefully try and work towards sex. she said yes and asked me if i expected that answer. i told her i was not willing or daring to expect anything.
since then weve talked about it a couple times and from what she said to me she is still pretty chill with the idea. she told me she thinks its scary but that shes also a bit curious, and that the thought of doing that with me doesnt repulse her at all which she also finds weird and a little scary. ive told her im glad but that any door shes opened can be closed whenever she wants and that i would want it to be a fun process for her as well. ive told her i want to take it very slow and that there should allways be 4 eyes checking if shes still happy and not just two while were trying things. she told me she thinks im very sweet.
the problem im having is i feel like im asking a lot, because i am. and eventhough shes cool with it im kinda terrified that shes trying to change herself for me. she tells me shes never been more comfortable around anyone and i believe her, but i still overthink this situation a lot. from what ive read about sex repulsed people ive seen sex repulsion as something to be respected, and i kinda dont know where that leaves me here. i want to believe her and i feel like i should, but ive also read that trying to "get over sex repulsiion" can be traumatizing and
i, ofcourse, really really REALLY dont want THAT.
im kinda writing this more as a "how should i deal with this mentally" but please do feel free to give your ten cents about the situation and what you think we should do. i want to be in a relationship with this girl but what i want even more than that is for her to be happy, and if i can have both thats awesome but i dont want to hurt her by chasing something that could never be.
thank you for your replies in advance
she knows im feeling this way btw, i just thought i wanted some outsider opinions from people more experienced in this stuff.
https://redd.it/1erqcjk
@asexualityonreddit
im kinda writing this more as a "how should i deal with this mentally" but please do feel free to give your ten cents about the situation and what you think we should do. i want to be in a relationship with this girl but what i want even more than that is for her to be happy, and if i can have both thats awesome but i dont want to hurt her by chasing something that could never be.
thank you for your replies in advance
she knows im feeling this way btw, i just thought i wanted some outsider opinions from people more experienced in this stuff.
https://redd.it/1erqcjk
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What would you call someone who does experience sexual attraction but has never had the actual desire to have real sex and intrinsically hates doing it?
I experience sexual attraction, which would I assume not make me a candidate for asexuality -- and that's fine. But what, then, would you call someone who, despite feeling sexual attraction, still doesn't fit into an allo-normative view of sexuality and desire for sex? Because there's clearly something different about me but I don't know how to explain it. Any help or thoughts are appreciated.
I find other people sexually attractive. I'm capable of and very much enjoy 'imbibing' people and body parts I find sexually attractive with my eyes. I masturbate while imagining sexual scenarios and I enjoy it. But I don't want actual sex, have never wanted actual sex, and the few times I've gotten close enough to actually doing it I could never go through with it because I just intrinsically ... don't want it and hate doing it. I've never experienced any sexual trauma as far as I'm aware of and grew up in a pretty sex-positive liberal environment; I just know I stepped into adulthood already feeling this way and I don't think anything "caused" it. I find the experience of actually (almost) doing sex universally boring, unappealing, and vaguely upsetting. The idea of actual sex feels like doing something inconvenient and frustrating, like filing a tax return. I can never understand why people enjoy it or continue wanting to do it past the 'that would be nice' imagining stage. I feel the same way about it as I do taking an elevator down 50 floors that stops at every. single. floor.
I guess one way of putting it is: I can get turned on, but sex is a total turnoff.
I know some people would call that "sex-repulsed", but I'm not sure if that's accurate either -- at least according to what I know about sex-repulsion from people post about it online. I'm actually entirely indifferent to the notion of sex except in the specific instance where I'm part of it. I don't think sex itself or the people who have sex are disgusting. I'm totally fine with sex scenes in movies, I don't think it's gross or unaccommodating to me to openly discuss sex with other people, and the abstract idea of sex itself is actually pretty inspirational and beautiful to me from a purely artistic standpoint. I just can't be part of it.
I sometimes utilize the paradigm of asexuality on myself not because I think I'm a "true" asexual per se, but just because I find that it's the closest on a practical level to what I experience and makes things easier to explain to other people. I feel a bit bad about it, but I really don't know how else to describe it that wouldn't sound vaguely insulting to other people. Anyone I get into a relationship with would need to treat me as "functionally" asexual. I don't want to call myself celibate because that implies a conscious choice and implies a hidden desire, which is not what this is and not what I have.
https://redd.it/1es2igc
@asexualityonreddit
I experience sexual attraction, which would I assume not make me a candidate for asexuality -- and that's fine. But what, then, would you call someone who, despite feeling sexual attraction, still doesn't fit into an allo-normative view of sexuality and desire for sex? Because there's clearly something different about me but I don't know how to explain it. Any help or thoughts are appreciated.
I find other people sexually attractive. I'm capable of and very much enjoy 'imbibing' people and body parts I find sexually attractive with my eyes. I masturbate while imagining sexual scenarios and I enjoy it. But I don't want actual sex, have never wanted actual sex, and the few times I've gotten close enough to actually doing it I could never go through with it because I just intrinsically ... don't want it and hate doing it. I've never experienced any sexual trauma as far as I'm aware of and grew up in a pretty sex-positive liberal environment; I just know I stepped into adulthood already feeling this way and I don't think anything "caused" it. I find the experience of actually (almost) doing sex universally boring, unappealing, and vaguely upsetting. The idea of actual sex feels like doing something inconvenient and frustrating, like filing a tax return. I can never understand why people enjoy it or continue wanting to do it past the 'that would be nice' imagining stage. I feel the same way about it as I do taking an elevator down 50 floors that stops at every. single. floor.
I guess one way of putting it is: I can get turned on, but sex is a total turnoff.
I know some people would call that "sex-repulsed", but I'm not sure if that's accurate either -- at least according to what I know about sex-repulsion from people post about it online. I'm actually entirely indifferent to the notion of sex except in the specific instance where I'm part of it. I don't think sex itself or the people who have sex are disgusting. I'm totally fine with sex scenes in movies, I don't think it's gross or unaccommodating to me to openly discuss sex with other people, and the abstract idea of sex itself is actually pretty inspirational and beautiful to me from a purely artistic standpoint. I just can't be part of it.
I sometimes utilize the paradigm of asexuality on myself not because I think I'm a "true" asexual per se, but just because I find that it's the closest on a practical level to what I experience and makes things easier to explain to other people. I feel a bit bad about it, but I really don't know how else to describe it that wouldn't sound vaguely insulting to other people. Anyone I get into a relationship with would need to treat me as "functionally" asexual. I don't want to call myself celibate because that implies a conscious choice and implies a hidden desire, which is not what this is and not what I have.
https://redd.it/1es2igc
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a problem I notice in the asexual community
I used to identify as asexual and I acted like this too.
I noticed some asexual people will shame non asexuals for experiencing sexual attraction. I'm bisexual and got called disgusting and weird by my ace friend because I was talking about how attractive an actor is....
I know a lot of ace ppl might know this already, but especially younger ones dont (my friends and I are in highschool).
it's okay to be uncomfortable, and you don't have to talk about sex or attraction if you don't want to!!! Just say you dont wanna talk about that. But please, don't shame others for it!
Anyways, I love the asexual community, you all helped me discover who I am.
https://redd.it/1es3g5m
@asexualityonreddit
I used to identify as asexual and I acted like this too.
I noticed some asexual people will shame non asexuals for experiencing sexual attraction. I'm bisexual and got called disgusting and weird by my ace friend because I was talking about how attractive an actor is....
I know a lot of ace ppl might know this already, but especially younger ones dont (my friends and I are in highschool).
it's okay to be uncomfortable, and you don't have to talk about sex or attraction if you don't want to!!! Just say you dont wanna talk about that. But please, don't shame others for it!
Anyways, I love the asexual community, you all helped me discover who I am.
https://redd.it/1es3g5m
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I’m so confused, can we all agree on a definition?
So we all know it’s lack of sexual attraction to others. But half the internet and people say it’s also lack of libido. And it makes it so confusing when either having a conversation or arguing with someone. Why don’t people agree on a definition? It’s also confusing for the newcomers who are just learning about asexuality. It’s hurting my brain lmao. I see sooooooo many posts in here, like majority of the posts, talk about lack of libido which is where my confusion comes in too, and it’s making it confusing for new people who think asexual is just no sex drive
https://redd.it/1es4u1s
@asexualityonreddit
So we all know it’s lack of sexual attraction to others. But half the internet and people say it’s also lack of libido. And it makes it so confusing when either having a conversation or arguing with someone. Why don’t people agree on a definition? It’s also confusing for the newcomers who are just learning about asexuality. It’s hurting my brain lmao. I see sooooooo many posts in here, like majority of the posts, talk about lack of libido which is where my confusion comes in too, and it’s making it confusing for new people who think asexual is just no sex drive
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Would you care if you swapped genders?
I was reading a comment explaining transgender and it said "imagine this instant, you, without choice, turn into a girl. you get called a girl, have to wear feminine clothes, have a girl name, get addressed as a girl in every aspect of your life (ex: “oh, she didn’t finish her dinner”). it’d suck, right? it’s not who you are."
And for me the answer to that is no it wouldn't suck, I wouldn't care. I am a straight male, and I wouldn't care if tomorrow I became a girl. Only change would be I would be a lesbian instead, or maybe even bi if I am a girl. And being able to wear feminine clothes is honestly such a plus because female fashion is so much better than male fashion, but that's besides the point. I would not necessarily like the change, nor I would hate it; I am just completely neutral. And btw, I still use he/him pronouns, and if I were to become a girl tomorrow I would just use she/her pronouns so I am not gender neutral either. So ig I would just live with what's given to me. This is not discrediting trans people at all btw, different people would process this change differently and I completely get that.
What I was wondering is are asexual people more likely to not care about changing genders? Also, I was confused why I would be ok with being bi if I were a girl.
p.s. I am a demi/grayace and I think I am sex-neutral idk never tried, have only ever been sexually attracted to anyone like twice. I still like intimacy through other means tho.
https://redd.it/1es86dx
@asexualityonreddit
I was reading a comment explaining transgender and it said "imagine this instant, you, without choice, turn into a girl. you get called a girl, have to wear feminine clothes, have a girl name, get addressed as a girl in every aspect of your life (ex: “oh, she didn’t finish her dinner”). it’d suck, right? it’s not who you are."
And for me the answer to that is no it wouldn't suck, I wouldn't care. I am a straight male, and I wouldn't care if tomorrow I became a girl. Only change would be I would be a lesbian instead, or maybe even bi if I am a girl. And being able to wear feminine clothes is honestly such a plus because female fashion is so much better than male fashion, but that's besides the point. I would not necessarily like the change, nor I would hate it; I am just completely neutral. And btw, I still use he/him pronouns, and if I were to become a girl tomorrow I would just use she/her pronouns so I am not gender neutral either. So ig I would just live with what's given to me. This is not discrediting trans people at all btw, different people would process this change differently and I completely get that.
What I was wondering is are asexual people more likely to not care about changing genders? Also, I was confused why I would be ok with being bi if I were a girl.
p.s. I am a demi/grayace and I think I am sex-neutral idk never tried, have only ever been sexually attracted to anyone like twice. I still like intimacy through other means tho.
https://redd.it/1es86dx
@asexualityonreddit
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Would you care if you swapped genders?
I was reading a comment explaining transgender and it said "imagine this instant, you, without choice, turn into a girl. you get called a girl, have to wear feminine clothes, have a girl name, get addressed as a girl in every aspect of your life (ex: “oh, she didn’t finish her dinner”). it’d suck, right? it’s not who you are."
And for me the answer to that is no it wouldn't suck, I wouldn't care. I am a straight male, and I wouldn't care if tomorrow I became a girl. Only change would be I would be a lesbian instead, or maybe even bi if I am a girl. And being able to wear feminine clothes is honestly such a plus because female fashion is so much better than male fashion, but that's besides the point. I would not necessarily like the change, nor I would hate it; I am just completely neutral. And btw, I still use he/him pronouns, and if I were to become a girl tomorrow I would just use she/her pronouns so I am not gender neutral either. So ig I would just live with what's given to me. This is not discrediting trans people at all btw, different people would process this change differently and I completely get that.
What I was wondering is are asexual people more likely to not care about changing genders? Also, I was confused why I would be ok with being bi if I were a girl.
p.s. I am a demi/grayace and I think I am sex-neutral idk never tried, have only ever been sexually attracted to anyone like twice. I still like intimacy through other means tho.
https://redd.it/1es85ag
@asexualityonreddit
I was reading a comment explaining transgender and it said "imagine this instant, you, without choice, turn into a girl. you get called a girl, have to wear feminine clothes, have a girl name, get addressed as a girl in every aspect of your life (ex: “oh, she didn’t finish her dinner”). it’d suck, right? it’s not who you are."
And for me the answer to that is no it wouldn't suck, I wouldn't care. I am a straight male, and I wouldn't care if tomorrow I became a girl. Only change would be I would be a lesbian instead, or maybe even bi if I am a girl. And being able to wear feminine clothes is honestly such a plus because female fashion is so much better than male fashion, but that's besides the point. I would not necessarily like the change, nor I would hate it; I am just completely neutral. And btw, I still use he/him pronouns, and if I were to become a girl tomorrow I would just use she/her pronouns so I am not gender neutral either. So ig I would just live with what's given to me. This is not discrediting trans people at all btw, different people would process this change differently and I completely get that.
What I was wondering is are asexual people more likely to not care about changing genders? Also, I was confused why I would be ok with being bi if I were a girl.
p.s. I am a demi/grayace and I think I am sex-neutral idk never tried, have only ever been sexually attracted to anyone like twice. I still like intimacy through other means tho.
https://redd.it/1es85ag
@asexualityonreddit
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