Queer “friends” dropped me when I came out as ace-spec and called out their aphobia.
A bunch of “friends” who I thought were some of the most open minded people I knew found out I was demi/ace-spec because I stuck up for myself and other aces when one of them said some really aphobic stuff. Since then they’ve basically stopped talking to me or following me on social media or wanting anything to do with me. I tried to message one personally and they won’t even respond. I’m also a bi woman and they were most of the other queer friends I had. This rejection and lack of acceptance hurts so much. I feel so alone and isolated and it’s making me dread good back to college in the fall even though I love my school. I have other wonderful friends and a wonderful girlfriend who are being incredibly supportive, but I also feel so traumatized. These people were trying to argue with me that ace discrimination/oppression doesn’t exist and so ace inclusion isn’t necessary and saying a bunch of awful shit about hetero-romantic aces and gatekeeping aces in general, and then proceeded to discriminate against me when I tried to stick up for myself and my identity and my experiences and educate them and that’s just so... hypocritical???? Idk I just needed to rant and am also looking for support.
https://redd.it/ccm7ij
@asexualityonreddit
A bunch of “friends” who I thought were some of the most open minded people I knew found out I was demi/ace-spec because I stuck up for myself and other aces when one of them said some really aphobic stuff. Since then they’ve basically stopped talking to me or following me on social media or wanting anything to do with me. I tried to message one personally and they won’t even respond. I’m also a bi woman and they were most of the other queer friends I had. This rejection and lack of acceptance hurts so much. I feel so alone and isolated and it’s making me dread good back to college in the fall even though I love my school. I have other wonderful friends and a wonderful girlfriend who are being incredibly supportive, but I also feel so traumatized. These people were trying to argue with me that ace discrimination/oppression doesn’t exist and so ace inclusion isn’t necessary and saying a bunch of awful shit about hetero-romantic aces and gatekeeping aces in general, and then proceeded to discriminate against me when I tried to stick up for myself and my identity and my experiences and educate them and that’s just so... hypocritical???? Idk I just needed to rant and am also looking for support.
https://redd.it/ccm7ij
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
r/asexuality - Queer “friends” dropped me when I came out as ace-spec and called out their aphobia.
23 votes and 4 comments so far on Reddit
I think I’m Asexual
I was on another group and the term asexual came up. I looked it up and started to cry because finally I feel like I’m not just weird and alone.
I’ve never been interested in sex. I don’t like kissing, cuddling, sex etc. I’ve always ended up with men who are super sexual and of course I understand they have needs.
I’m now married with two kids. I’ve never once had sex because I wanted to. I do it to keep my husband happy. He understands to an extent that I’m just not a “touchy” person. I’ve tried talking to my mom about this but she just says I have to give my husband sex to de stress him or keep him interested.
After I had my second child it’s gotten worse. I’m having a harder time pretending I’m interested.
Am I asexual? Or am I just weird and don’t like sex.
How do I talk about this to my husband where he won’t just take it as I’m not attracted to him because I really do love him, I just don’t understand why I’m not normal.
https://redd.it/ccq222
@asexualityonreddit
I was on another group and the term asexual came up. I looked it up and started to cry because finally I feel like I’m not just weird and alone.
I’ve never been interested in sex. I don’t like kissing, cuddling, sex etc. I’ve always ended up with men who are super sexual and of course I understand they have needs.
I’m now married with two kids. I’ve never once had sex because I wanted to. I do it to keep my husband happy. He understands to an extent that I’m just not a “touchy” person. I’ve tried talking to my mom about this but she just says I have to give my husband sex to de stress him or keep him interested.
After I had my second child it’s gotten worse. I’m having a harder time pretending I’m interested.
Am I asexual? Or am I just weird and don’t like sex.
How do I talk about this to my husband where he won’t just take it as I’m not attracted to him because I really do love him, I just don’t understand why I’m not normal.
https://redd.it/ccq222
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
r/Asexual - I think I’m Asexual
0 votes and 1 comment so far on Reddit
Coming out and boundaries
My friends and community are very openly sexually and I'm happy for them but I feel uncomfortable and isolated when with them because of my own (a/grey)sexuality. Certain things that they do make me uncomfortable and I don't want to upset them or be an asshole for example - being sent nudes, I'm happy they feel good in theirself and how they look but I have no idea how to respond and discourage it without seeming ...idk? Rude? It's nice their interested in me (if that's why they do it) but I just shut down and vice versa when somebody make a sexual comment towards me. I'm flattered but really uncomfortable and have no idea how to respond. I just feel sad and go quiet.
I feel really alone.
https://redd.it/ccqzzh
@asexualityonreddit
My friends and community are very openly sexually and I'm happy for them but I feel uncomfortable and isolated when with them because of my own (a/grey)sexuality. Certain things that they do make me uncomfortable and I don't want to upset them or be an asshole for example - being sent nudes, I'm happy they feel good in theirself and how they look but I have no idea how to respond and discourage it without seeming ...idk? Rude? It's nice their interested in me (if that's why they do it) but I just shut down and vice versa when somebody make a sexual comment towards me. I'm flattered but really uncomfortable and have no idea how to respond. I just feel sad and go quiet.
I feel really alone.
https://redd.it/ccqzzh
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
r/asexuality - Coming out and boundaries
0 votes and 1 comment so far on Reddit
My sister accepts me and stands up for me to my parents and it's the best feeling in the world
Although I've never brought up the terms "asexual" or "aromantic," I have explained to my family on numerous occasions that I'm not into guys. Or girls. I'm not into anyone. It's not that I haven't found the right person, or that I'm picky, it's that I don't want to engage in the activity of sex or dating *at all.*
My parents don't get it. They keep asking if I have a boyfriend, "you'll find the right one someday", "you're young", etc. Like guys I'm 20 years old, I've already tried dating and even though I cared deeply for the guy, I just couldn't reciprocate romantic feelings for him. I was miserable during that relationship. And I wasn't sexually attracted to him at all. I've put a lot of thought and self reflection into this identity, I felt this way for years before I even realized what it was. This isn't a high school phase.
But my older sister, while she was confused at first, caught on pretty quickly. She thinks it's strange, but not in a bad way. She's more fascinated by it than anything. And anytime my parents bring up that bullshit she always jumps in and says "Ziaberri doesn't like guys!" Or "She's not into dating, y'all know this."
One time I mentioned I was attracted to someone, and she whipped around looking confused and said *"What?"* I laughed and explained that I was aesthetically attracted to him, nothing more. I don't wanna touch him or do anything with him, "I just wanna sit him on the couch and stare at him, y'know?" She thought it was weird, but again, not in a bad way. I just thought it was nice realizing that she took me seriously when I said I wasn't sexually attracted to anyone, to the point where she was absolutely shocked to hear me say otherwise lol.
It's really nice having someone in my family who understands and accepts me. She listens when I explain things to her and never acts like it's a bad thing, or that I'm making things up. I mean we're siblings so we fight and bicker plenty, but it's nice to know that she'll stick up for me when it matters. Thanks sis ❤️
https://redd.it/ccs4t8
@asexualityonreddit
Although I've never brought up the terms "asexual" or "aromantic," I have explained to my family on numerous occasions that I'm not into guys. Or girls. I'm not into anyone. It's not that I haven't found the right person, or that I'm picky, it's that I don't want to engage in the activity of sex or dating *at all.*
My parents don't get it. They keep asking if I have a boyfriend, "you'll find the right one someday", "you're young", etc. Like guys I'm 20 years old, I've already tried dating and even though I cared deeply for the guy, I just couldn't reciprocate romantic feelings for him. I was miserable during that relationship. And I wasn't sexually attracted to him at all. I've put a lot of thought and self reflection into this identity, I felt this way for years before I even realized what it was. This isn't a high school phase.
But my older sister, while she was confused at first, caught on pretty quickly. She thinks it's strange, but not in a bad way. She's more fascinated by it than anything. And anytime my parents bring up that bullshit she always jumps in and says "Ziaberri doesn't like guys!" Or "She's not into dating, y'all know this."
One time I mentioned I was attracted to someone, and she whipped around looking confused and said *"What?"* I laughed and explained that I was aesthetically attracted to him, nothing more. I don't wanna touch him or do anything with him, "I just wanna sit him on the couch and stare at him, y'know?" She thought it was weird, but again, not in a bad way. I just thought it was nice realizing that she took me seriously when I said I wasn't sexually attracted to anyone, to the point where she was absolutely shocked to hear me say otherwise lol.
It's really nice having someone in my family who understands and accepts me. She listens when I explain things to her and never acts like it's a bad thing, or that I'm making things up. I mean we're siblings so we fight and bicker plenty, but it's nice to know that she'll stick up for me when it matters. Thanks sis ❤️
https://redd.it/ccs4t8
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
r/asexuality - My sister accepts me and stands up for me to my parents and it's the best feeling in the world
0 votes and 2 comments so far on Reddit
My parents reaction
There's a big pride event happening in my city today. I was there earlier, wearing an ace flag and I got to meet other aces for the first time ever*. My parents were coming around for a meal and I had had such a great time at Pride I talked myself into finally coming out to them, maybe even go to pride as a family.
But when they arrived my Dad had a 5 minute rant about pride (in particular 'those idiots wearing capes') which ended with 'you see these people and you realise Hitler was right'.
So yeah, my dad thinks I should be killed for wearing a flag/being asexual. Although he would probably say something different if he knew about me.
*) Of the 5 aces I spoke to: 3 had never spoken to another ace before either, the other two were part of 5 person ace friend network
https://redd.it/cctv64
@asexualityonreddit
There's a big pride event happening in my city today. I was there earlier, wearing an ace flag and I got to meet other aces for the first time ever*. My parents were coming around for a meal and I had had such a great time at Pride I talked myself into finally coming out to them, maybe even go to pride as a family.
But when they arrived my Dad had a 5 minute rant about pride (in particular 'those idiots wearing capes') which ended with 'you see these people and you realise Hitler was right'.
So yeah, my dad thinks I should be killed for wearing a flag/being asexual. Although he would probably say something different if he knew about me.
*) Of the 5 aces I spoke to: 3 had never spoken to another ace before either, the other two were part of 5 person ace friend network
https://redd.it/cctv64
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
r/Asexual - My parents reaction
0 votes and 13 comments so far on Reddit
Confession: sometimes I feel like I have to lose my virginity so that I won’t feel shame and just feel normal. But I know having sex with just hurt me emotionally
https://redd.it/ccvagk
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/ccvagk
@asexualityonreddit
My dad doesn’t believe I’m asexual
I told him I was asexual and he doesn’t believe me because “asexual doesn’t work for humans”. Now he acts like I’m going to starts dating someone any second and it really sucks
https://redd.it/ccwcyb
@asexualityonreddit
I told him I was asexual and he doesn’t believe me because “asexual doesn’t work for humans”. Now he acts like I’m going to starts dating someone any second and it really sucks
https://redd.it/ccwcyb
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
r/Asexual - My dad doesn’t believe I’m asexual
16 votes and 2 comments so far on Reddit
I designed a t-shirt to wear for the pride parade in my city tomorrow! :D
https://redd.it/ccxa80
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/ccxa80
@asexualityonreddit