Even more reason to like dragons
https://redd.it/cabd4e
@asexualityonreddit

A group of people who do not find sex appealing? Impossible! Hey, can you pass me the garlic bread?
https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/ca43at/if_sex_was_unpleasurable_and_only_for_procreation/

https://redd.it/ca6swk
@asexualityonreddit

This is the most amazing concept ever and I want it
https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/ca4zyr/friends_with_benefits_but_instead_of_sex_you_get/

https://redd.it/ca7gv9
@asexualityonreddit

Cake always indeed
https://redd.it/cadmmp
@asexualityonreddit

Not sure I fit here

I've been questioning for so long and I often feel like I don't want to put a label on it but I'm sick of being in limbo.

I've never had sex. I have no interest in being touched or doing anything sexual. I have also never been in a committed relationship but I might be open to the idea if the right person came along. By that definition, asexual and potentially aromantic fit.

BUT. I feel arousal. *Maybe* less than a handful of times to a man in real life and while drunk. I think that Sawyer from Lost is super sexy. In a "oh man" kind of way and not a beautiful sunset way. But I know that if I met someone who looked like him in real life, I might still find him incredibly "oh man" hot, but I would not want to actually have sex with him. Or anything really. This is true of a number of on-screen leading men.

I masturbate fairly infrequently (a few times a month). I'm fairly certain it has to do with my menstrual cycle because it always happens in a clump at the same time of the month. But I do imagine things when I do it, not just purely sensation. I enjoy romantic/sexual fantasies in general. I've even watched porn on the very rare occasion.

What's so confusing is that there is this divide between what goes on in my head in the imaginary and what I actually feel in real life.

Is there a type of asexuality like this? Where you maybe feel arousal or attraction in the abstract but find the reality of sex and physical intimacy slightly repulsing? I might just say it's low sex drive (is that the same thing?) but it feels like more than that. I've tried to push myself to get out there but whenever I get even close to the vicinity of sex related activities, something in my brain goes "*no I really don't want this,*" and my body shuts down.

This is just so different than a lot of the things I've seen described after briefly looking through this sub. Any thoughts on my severely contradictory feelings?

https://redd.it/cae0db
@asexualityonreddit

It’s the ace way
https://redd.it/caf70n
@asexualityonreddit

How do I tell my husband I'm asexual?

I'm married with kids and I've recently done some research on asexuality/aegosexuality and I feel pretty comfortable in saying this is what I am.

Now I just need some advice on how to tell my husband. I think he's going to think it's a 'phase' or something silly (he thinks stuff like being gender fluid is silly).

I've been asexual all my life, just never had an explanation/label for it. Pretty sure my mom is the same (story for another time lol). I've explained my feeling about sex with him but I don't think he gets it. He has a hard time grasping my diagnosed depression/anxiety etc (what do you have to be depressed about?).

Any recommendations? I know I'm a bit of an odd one out here in this sub being married with kids. Thank you :)

https://redd.it/caey0c
@asexualityonreddit

When you get a Garlic Bread Mod in Minecraft
https://redd.it/caffqf
@asexualityonreddit

I should consider the sub, but they are literally attacking whoever this person is for no reason other then her being ace.
https://redd.it/cady42
@asexualityonreddit

Is it normal to think about having sex but not actually want to have sex?

I am a virgin that doesn't know if I want to have sex. I don't know how to explain it, but I can imagine myself having sex with someone but I don't think I would want someone to touch me. I used to think that I identified as demisexual, but even thinking about having sex with my crushes is weird. In my head, everything seems perfect, but I can imagine that idea comes from porn/expectations. I'm not sure if this makes sense, but I want to know if y'all can relate to this? It makes me feel like a freak.

https://redd.it/cahus2
@asexualityonreddit

Random 2am Ramblings

Has anyone felt that their asexuality has landed them into a life they didn’t really expect, with situations that are out of the norm?

I can’t say that it’s specifically due to my asexuality that life is the way it is, but things are definitely not how I’d ever imagined.

I met and married someone that was on the ace/grey/demi lines of things when I too was somewhere in the mix (eventually figuring out that I’m definitely ace, even if sex-positive). We’re good friends and can get along well a lot of the time and share many interests. As it turns out our sexualities and romance tendencies aren’t on the same wavelength. We still live together but we aren’t in a relationship anymore (and in fact she has a girlfriend). I’m a very monogamously programmed person and a romantic at heart, and it’s been quite difficult going through a break up while still living and caring for someone (though my romantic interest is completely gone from that). We are family though.

My interest in searching for a relationship and a future with anyone else has basically come to a complete halt. While I know I’m depressed, I just feel like life circumstances and knowing how I am (not someone who experiences sexual attraction and has zero instincts towards sexual desire), has led me to have no interest in pursuing anything further. It doesn’t feel worth the effort and I’m a type of person that can put others first to the point where my own life can dwindle significantly (thus maybe it’s better to be on my own than even have another overshadow me as an option).

Anyways, just curious if others have ended up in situations at least partly due to their asexuality in which they’d never have imagined at an earlier stage of life.

https://redd.it/cahgqx
@asexualityonreddit

Right?
https://redd.it/cahk31
@asexualityonreddit

Hate my country’s view on men and sex

Sorry, this is kind of a rant

I come from a Latin American country. Here (unfortunately) men have a reputation for being very machismo-that is, very manly masculine

Men are supposed to want sex sex and I have heard stories of men talking their sons to prosititues for their first time (that’s not a common thing but I still find the fact that it’s happening at all pretty gross). Husbands are supposed to always want it too.

And I hate that culture because it makes me feel so broken. I myself know that I am a man, but according to other people here I wouldn’t be. According to others I’m not a “real man”

According to others I am also a bad husband for this. Just for being asexual. Like..I saw a comment that said “oh if her husband is asexual he probably has one foot out the door.” It has a bunch of likes and people agreeing with it. Which made me upset because I love my wife and daughter. I’m not some asshole that’s just waiting to abandon them, I‘d never leave my girls you’d have to drag me away from them

*sigh* I guess I’m just annoyed just because I saw a post on Facebook on asexually and I (stupidly) read the comments. Maybe I’m overreacting right now...I’m just very sick of this hyper sexual/hyper masculine culture that I’m living in.

Okay, rant over

https://redd.it/cadkzz
@asexualityonreddit

A bit confused

This is something that's been bugging me a lot lately. I made a post to r/questioning the other day, and I wanted to know a little more about asexuality because someone over there suggested that I look into it.

I’m a 21 year old guy and I'm not sure if I've ever actually felt a REAL sexual attraction to anyone. This kind of worries me as I feel like I should know more about my sexual orientation by this point in my life. I can look at a girl and think she's cute, and because of this, I always just assumed I was straight but I’m not sure it’s really a sexual attraction. If it is, it certainly doesn't seem as strong for me as it is for most people.

I’ve never had sex, never even come close. It's not that I'm not interested in it, but it seems like it would be awkward for me so the idea of it is sort of intimidating and makes me uncomfortable. I often wonder if there's another reason for this. I was raised in a religious family (Catholic) so sex was always taboo and something that, even just discussing it was always a bit awkward. I remember when I first learned about sex, my initial reaction was something like “Ew, I have to be naked with someone and do what?!” which might be a fairly common FIRST reaction, but like I said the idea of having sex with someone still seems awkward and intimidating to me.

I think I sometimes feel some sort of attraction to certain people, but I’m not sure it's sexual. I feel like I could develop a sexual attraction to someone if I got to know them well enough and was comfortable enough around them. From what I’ve been told this is called demisexuality. This seems like it could describe how I feel because I want to be able to have that kind of relationship and closeness to someone, I’m just not sure if there's anyone I’m attracted to or comfortable enough around to want it with them specifically. I kind of hope that this is just due to social anxiety/ self consciousness that prevents me from meeting or developing connections with people, but I’m not too sure.

Anyways, thanks if you read all this. I guess I’m just looking for some advice or wondering if anyone has any input or similar experiences/ feelings.

https://redd.it/cagg1k
@asexualityonreddit

Helped her bring that ace representation at Pride London
https://redd.it/cajz3l
@asexualityonreddit

THIS is what it's all about!
https://redd.it/caj2g7
@asexualityonreddit

Being Asked What Do You Like About Their Body?

This is by far one of the hardest questions I ever have to answer and I get so much anxiety from it.
I love being near my partners body but when they ask what I like about it or how I am attracted to it, well I have no answer. I always say oh I like the ability to cuddle with it or the smoothness, but that's about as physical as I can get it. I feel horrible that I cannot say that oh Im attracted to this body part because it makes me feel this way or something. I don't know it's a big struggle. I tell my partner she is attractive by society's standards, it's just to me I never felt that towards anyone or anything. I have preferences but not real attraction. Anyway, just curious if any other ace gets anxiety from that question?

https://redd.it/cakpcv
@asexualityonreddit

Not really ace, but IDK where else to post this

Went to the center for democracy at the state library, and one of the things was a whiteboard with "Do you think public transport should be free?" and a bunch of sticky notes with opinions. Except one said "ACCEPTING HOMOSEXUALITY IS AGAINST GOD'S WILL. THERE WILL BE A PRICE TO PAY", and someone responded with another sticky note that says, "Thanks Karen, but this is about public transport. Besides, you won't be paying the price, so quit whining" and I have a new hero.

https://redd.it/caj563
@asexualityonreddit

Tweet about sex
https://redd.it/calh5j
@asexualityonreddit

Take My Support Please!
https://redd.it/cam5wb
@asexualityonreddit

Moderator Mondays!

Woo, boy, here it goes, my first post of this kind. I hope it isn't bad. First, I want to wish everybody a good morning and I hope everybody's doing well. 4th of July passed, that was the most recent event; hope everyone had fun with that. This post will be less complex than u/southpawFA's post from last week. I guess I'm a simple man.

So I'm friends with an asexual person who doesn't have an account on here and one of the most unique and interesting things is to hear about her perspective on many things involving sexuality or really anything LGBT-related because of her asexuality. I figured that that could translate over to this subreddit.

So my question is: Ever since identifying as asexual, has that fact given you any kind of insight that you don't think you'd have if you weren't asexual? What kind of insight is that? It can be anything.

For me, I'd say personally that being asexual combined with tons of research has really made me notice and think more about how multi-faceted attraction is. It's very easy to get confused about the whole thing and get lost. That's a very common thing to happen, especially for people trying to figure themselves out. Additionally, being asexual to me has allowed me to notice the clear bias that people make for asexuality. It mostly takes the form of, say, bisexuality (denial, downplaying and flat-out irrational hatred), but for some strange reason, I think it seems kind of deeper for asexuals more so than anybody else, sort of like a "well, at least these people have sex unlike those ASEXUALS" type of thing (which isn't even true)

Of course, biases and hatred for anyone of any orientation is terrible, I just seem to notice or interpret it this way. Society really is tilted towards being sexual and not being sexual just really seems to irk people and that's where my insight ends. I can't seem to pinpoint a real reason for people to get so passionate about it. Maybe other people's insight can elaborate on this.

To me, being asexual also lets me see just different other LGBT group's perspectives are. They all have common, but different goals and different challenges. Maybe this isn't groundbreaking to other people, but I feel that people look as the LGBT community as a literal hivemind or a unit without considering the nice differences between the group's experiences, perspectives and general lifestyle.

Being asexual also allows me to experience and understand just how exhilarating the feeling of pride is. I'm proud of being asexual and I consider it a part of myself to a great degree. Though half the time I feel invisible or sometimes dread the typical fare of questions and assumptions, the times where I've been accepted or have come together with other asexuals is an amazing feeling, and over at this subreddit, it's one I feel quite a lot.

So that's my two cents on the whole thing. These things might be obvious to some people, but not to others. Just remember the theme here. I look forward to hearing from everybody.

Edit: I woke up early and the first thing I did was type this out. I hope the morning ailments haven't seeped into this post, haha.

https://redd.it/cakgkn
@asexualityonreddit