This seems a perfectly reasonable use of a condom to me.
http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/come-back-to-my-place

https://redd.it/ca743g
@asexualityonreddit

[Poll Results] Asexuality and Physical Affection

*I made a poll about asexuality and physical affection. Looking back, I kind of regret that I gave people the option to put their own answers for some questions, because some people basically gave answers that were a prewritten answer, but in their own words, which made gathering up the results quite time-consuming.*

*Anyways, I got 428 answers and here are the results:*

​

**What's your sexuality?**

Asexual-83%

Demisexual-8%

Questioning-6.1%

Grey Ace-1.4%

Aego/Autochrisosexual-0.8%

Allosexual-0.7%

​

**What's your romanticism?**

Heteroromantic-27.4%

Aromantic-22.2%

Questioning-13.9%

Biromantic-13.4%

Panromantic-9%

Homoromantic-8%

Demiromantic-2.5%

​

*The percent that are not accounted for here, stem from the fact that I let people add their own answers and there were too many options to include them all in this list and still present it clearly.*

​

**Do you like kissing?**

No-24.5%

Not sure-23.6%

Yes, but only with romantic partners-22.4%

I don't mind-13.7%

Yes-11.1%

​

*The majority of people who gave their own answers said one of these:*

\-Yes, but not on the lips/not with tongue/not with spit

\-Yes, but only short kisses/pecking

​

**Do you like cuddling?**

Yes-50.9%

Yes, but only with romantic partners-23.6%

No-9.2%

I don't mind-7.8%

Not sure-7.8%

​

**Would you have sex?**

No-48.9%

Yes-31%

Not sure-18.4%

I have in the past, but I wouldn't now-10.4%

​

*People who gave their own answers mainly said, that*

\-They'd be willing to try it once

\-It depends on the partner/romantic connection

\-yes, but not penetration

​

**If you said yes, why?** *(I also wanna mention, that there were a couple of clowns, who obviously didn't read the question and wrote "No", "I wouldn't")*

To make my partner happy-58.5%

I like it-11.4%

Curiosity/To try it/To see if I like it-9.8%

To have a baby-7.4%

​

*A lot of people also said that it was a combination of factors for them.*

*And here are a couple of answers I found interesting:*

"I think the comfort of sex with a commited relationship feels more stable to me."

"I want to like it and I still hope it could change."

"Primarily as an avenue for exploring my own interest in kink and BDSM"

"Mostly to make my partner happy, but also to get to the cuddles on the other side"

"I'm occasionally in the mood, about 4-5 times a year. My partner always initiates though and if I'm not feeling it, I tell him no."

​

*Thank you to everyone who took the time to answer the poll and I hope people find the results interesting!*

[*Here is the spreadsheet with all the answers, if anyone's interested.*](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1tWzgmoy79Nj1PFVHeMkyhE2JWOPsNxeC3QtjlRf83ec/edit#gid=993195541)

https://redd.it/ca62j0
@asexualityonreddit

Got my first pride flag!!! Im so happy and i now have a cap!!
https://redd.it/ca7jux
@asexualityonreddit

🤭 im shaking guys
https://redd.it/ca8uaq
@asexualityonreddit

Doing my best at London Pride
https://redd.it/ca9h18
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Aces on tinder
https://redd.it/ca8564
@asexualityonreddit

Going to clubs as an ace

Hey guys, I hope you're doing alright. Mandatory apology for the long body of text.

So me and some friends went to a club for dancing and drinks. Late into the night they found people to flirt and dance with. I had fun, I was fine hanging out with my friends, listening to music, dancing like no one was watching and sipping on fancy coloured cocktails.

I thought it was a Friday night well spent until the conversation turned to the fact I wasn't flirting with anyone. Things like "they need to get me away from my asexuality" and "I feel asexual because my ex was ugly "(I don't even know what that has to do with anything) were suggested in the said convo.

I don't have a problem with my body or my looks, but they seem to be fine with the conclusion that I'm not into flirting and hookups because I don't like how I look.

Does anyone experienced a similar thing where they had to prove that they were fine not flirting and dancing uncomfortablely close to a stranger?

https://redd.it/ca8uw8
@asexualityonreddit

Even more reason to like dragons
https://redd.it/cabd4e
@asexualityonreddit

A group of people who do not find sex appealing? Impossible! Hey, can you pass me the garlic bread?
https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/ca43at/if_sex_was_unpleasurable_and_only_for_procreation/

https://redd.it/ca6swk
@asexualityonreddit

This is the most amazing concept ever and I want it
https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/ca4zyr/friends_with_benefits_but_instead_of_sex_you_get/

https://redd.it/ca7gv9
@asexualityonreddit

Cake always indeed
https://redd.it/cadmmp
@asexualityonreddit

Not sure I fit here

I've been questioning for so long and I often feel like I don't want to put a label on it but I'm sick of being in limbo.

I've never had sex. I have no interest in being touched or doing anything sexual. I have also never been in a committed relationship but I might be open to the idea if the right person came along. By that definition, asexual and potentially aromantic fit.

BUT. I feel arousal. *Maybe* less than a handful of times to a man in real life and while drunk. I think that Sawyer from Lost is super sexy. In a "oh man" kind of way and not a beautiful sunset way. But I know that if I met someone who looked like him in real life, I might still find him incredibly "oh man" hot, but I would not want to actually have sex with him. Or anything really. This is true of a number of on-screen leading men.

I masturbate fairly infrequently (a few times a month). I'm fairly certain it has to do with my menstrual cycle because it always happens in a clump at the same time of the month. But I do imagine things when I do it, not just purely sensation. I enjoy romantic/sexual fantasies in general. I've even watched porn on the very rare occasion.

What's so confusing is that there is this divide between what goes on in my head in the imaginary and what I actually feel in real life.

Is there a type of asexuality like this? Where you maybe feel arousal or attraction in the abstract but find the reality of sex and physical intimacy slightly repulsing? I might just say it's low sex drive (is that the same thing?) but it feels like more than that. I've tried to push myself to get out there but whenever I get even close to the vicinity of sex related activities, something in my brain goes "*no I really don't want this,*" and my body shuts down.

This is just so different than a lot of the things I've seen described after briefly looking through this sub. Any thoughts on my severely contradictory feelings?

https://redd.it/cae0db
@asexualityonreddit

It’s the ace way
https://redd.it/caf70n
@asexualityonreddit

How do I tell my husband I'm asexual?

I'm married with kids and I've recently done some research on asexuality/aegosexuality and I feel pretty comfortable in saying this is what I am.

Now I just need some advice on how to tell my husband. I think he's going to think it's a 'phase' or something silly (he thinks stuff like being gender fluid is silly).

I've been asexual all my life, just never had an explanation/label for it. Pretty sure my mom is the same (story for another time lol). I've explained my feeling about sex with him but I don't think he gets it. He has a hard time grasping my diagnosed depression/anxiety etc (what do you have to be depressed about?).

Any recommendations? I know I'm a bit of an odd one out here in this sub being married with kids. Thank you :)

https://redd.it/caey0c
@asexualityonreddit

When you get a Garlic Bread Mod in Minecraft
https://redd.it/caffqf
@asexualityonreddit

I should consider the sub, but they are literally attacking whoever this person is for no reason other then her being ace.
https://redd.it/cady42
@asexualityonreddit

Is it normal to think about having sex but not actually want to have sex?

I am a virgin that doesn't know if I want to have sex. I don't know how to explain it, but I can imagine myself having sex with someone but I don't think I would want someone to touch me. I used to think that I identified as demisexual, but even thinking about having sex with my crushes is weird. In my head, everything seems perfect, but I can imagine that idea comes from porn/expectations. I'm not sure if this makes sense, but I want to know if y'all can relate to this? It makes me feel like a freak.

https://redd.it/cahus2
@asexualityonreddit

Random 2am Ramblings

Has anyone felt that their asexuality has landed them into a life they didn’t really expect, with situations that are out of the norm?

I can’t say that it’s specifically due to my asexuality that life is the way it is, but things are definitely not how I’d ever imagined.

I met and married someone that was on the ace/grey/demi lines of things when I too was somewhere in the mix (eventually figuring out that I’m definitely ace, even if sex-positive). We’re good friends and can get along well a lot of the time and share many interests. As it turns out our sexualities and romance tendencies aren’t on the same wavelength. We still live together but we aren’t in a relationship anymore (and in fact she has a girlfriend). I’m a very monogamously programmed person and a romantic at heart, and it’s been quite difficult going through a break up while still living and caring for someone (though my romantic interest is completely gone from that). We are family though.

My interest in searching for a relationship and a future with anyone else has basically come to a complete halt. While I know I’m depressed, I just feel like life circumstances and knowing how I am (not someone who experiences sexual attraction and has zero instincts towards sexual desire), has led me to have no interest in pursuing anything further. It doesn’t feel worth the effort and I’m a type of person that can put others first to the point where my own life can dwindle significantly (thus maybe it’s better to be on my own than even have another overshadow me as an option).

Anyways, just curious if others have ended up in situations at least partly due to their asexuality in which they’d never have imagined at an earlier stage of life.

https://redd.it/cahgqx
@asexualityonreddit

Right?
https://redd.it/cahk31
@asexualityonreddit

Hate my country’s view on men and sex

Sorry, this is kind of a rant

I come from a Latin American country. Here (unfortunately) men have a reputation for being very machismo-that is, very manly masculine

Men are supposed to want sex sex and I have heard stories of men talking their sons to prosititues for their first time (that’s not a common thing but I still find the fact that it’s happening at all pretty gross). Husbands are supposed to always want it too.

And I hate that culture because it makes me feel so broken. I myself know that I am a man, but according to other people here I wouldn’t be. According to others I’m not a “real man”

According to others I am also a bad husband for this. Just for being asexual. Like..I saw a comment that said “oh if her husband is asexual he probably has one foot out the door.” It has a bunch of likes and people agreeing with it. Which made me upset because I love my wife and daughter. I’m not some asshole that’s just waiting to abandon them, I‘d never leave my girls you’d have to drag me away from them

*sigh* I guess I’m just annoyed just because I saw a post on Facebook on asexually and I (stupidly) read the comments. Maybe I’m overreacting right now...I’m just very sick of this hyper sexual/hyper masculine culture that I’m living in.

Okay, rant over

https://redd.it/cadkzz
@asexualityonreddit

A bit confused

This is something that's been bugging me a lot lately. I made a post to r/questioning the other day, and I wanted to know a little more about asexuality because someone over there suggested that I look into it.

I’m a 21 year old guy and I'm not sure if I've ever actually felt a REAL sexual attraction to anyone. This kind of worries me as I feel like I should know more about my sexual orientation by this point in my life. I can look at a girl and think she's cute, and because of this, I always just assumed I was straight but I’m not sure it’s really a sexual attraction. If it is, it certainly doesn't seem as strong for me as it is for most people.

I’ve never had sex, never even come close. It's not that I'm not interested in it, but it seems like it would be awkward for me so the idea of it is sort of intimidating and makes me uncomfortable. I often wonder if there's another reason for this. I was raised in a religious family (Catholic) so sex was always taboo and something that, even just discussing it was always a bit awkward. I remember when I first learned about sex, my initial reaction was something like “Ew, I have to be naked with someone and do what?!” which might be a fairly common FIRST reaction, but like I said the idea of having sex with someone still seems awkward and intimidating to me.

I think I sometimes feel some sort of attraction to certain people, but I’m not sure it's sexual. I feel like I could develop a sexual attraction to someone if I got to know them well enough and was comfortable enough around them. From what I’ve been told this is called demisexuality. This seems like it could describe how I feel because I want to be able to have that kind of relationship and closeness to someone, I’m just not sure if there's anyone I’m attracted to or comfortable enough around to want it with them specifically. I kind of hope that this is just due to social anxiety/ self consciousness that prevents me from meeting or developing connections with people, but I’m not too sure.

Anyways, thanks if you read all this. I guess I’m just looking for some advice or wondering if anyone has any input or similar experiences/ feelings.

https://redd.it/cagg1k
@asexualityonreddit