Asexuality and Aromanticism on Reddit
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Mirror of /r/asexuality, /r/asexual, /r/aaaaaaacccccccce and /r/aromanticism.

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Essentially me in a picture. Not too nuts about the skunk tho...
https://redd.it/c9yvay
@asexualityonreddit
After going to Pride, I feel like I'm seeing it everywhere
https://redd.it/ca6aa1
@asexualityonreddit
Yeah sex is nice but have you ever sucked a ghost
https://redd.it/ca6yjw
@asexualityonreddit
[Poll Results] Asexuality and Physical Affection

*I made a poll about asexuality and physical affection. Looking back, I kind of regret that I gave people the option to put their own answers for some questions, because some people basically gave answers that were a prewritten answer, but in their own words, which made gathering up the results quite time-consuming.*

*Anyways, I got 428 answers and here are the results:*

​

**What's your sexuality?**

Asexual-83%

Demisexual-8%

Questioning-6.1%

Grey Ace-1.4%

Aego/Autochrisosexual-0.8%

Allosexual-0.7%

​

**What's your romanticism?**

Heteroromantic-27.4%

Aromantic-22.2%

Questioning-13.9%

Biromantic-13.4%

Panromantic-9%

Homoromantic-8%

Demiromantic-2.5%

​

*The percent that are not accounted for here, stem from the fact that I let people add their own answers and there were too many options to include them all in this list and still present it clearly.*

​

**Do you like kissing?**

No-24.5%

Not sure-23.6%

Yes, but only with romantic partners-22.4%

I don't mind-13.7%

Yes-11.1%

​

*The majority of people who gave their own answers said one of these:*

\-Yes, but not on the lips/not with tongue/not with spit

\-Yes, but only short kisses/pecking

​

**Do you like cuddling?**

Yes-50.9%

Yes, but only with romantic partners-23.6%

No-9.2%

I don't mind-7.8%

Not sure-7.8%

​

**Would you have sex?**

No-48.9%

Yes-31%

Not sure-18.4%

I have in the past, but I wouldn't now-10.4%

​

*People who gave their own answers mainly said, that*

\-They'd be willing to try it once

\-It depends on the partner/romantic connection

\-yes, but not penetration

​

**If you said yes, why?** *(I also wanna mention, that there were a couple of clowns, who obviously didn't read the question and wrote "No", "I wouldn't")*

To make my partner happy-58.5%

I like it-11.4%

Curiosity/To try it/To see if I like it-9.8%

To have a baby-7.4%

​

*A lot of people also said that it was a combination of factors for them.*

*And here are a couple of answers I found interesting:*

"I think the comfort of sex with a commited relationship feels more stable to me."

"I want to like it and I still hope it could change."

"Primarily as an avenue for exploring my own interest in kink and BDSM"

"Mostly to make my partner happy, but also to get to the cuddles on the other side"

"I'm occasionally in the mood, about 4-5 times a year. My partner always initiates though and if I'm not feeling it, I tell him no."

​

*Thank you to everyone who took the time to answer the poll and I hope people find the results interesting!*

[*Here is the spreadsheet with all the answers, if anyone's interested.*](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1tWzgmoy79Nj1PFVHeMkyhE2JWOPsNxeC3QtjlRf83ec/edit#gid=993195541)

https://redd.it/ca62j0
@asexualityonreddit
Going to clubs as an ace

Hey guys, I hope you're doing alright. Mandatory apology for the long body of text.

So me and some friends went to a club for dancing and drinks. Late into the night they found people to flirt and dance with. I had fun, I was fine hanging out with my friends, listening to music, dancing like no one was watching and sipping on fancy coloured cocktails.

I thought it was a Friday night well spent until the conversation turned to the fact I wasn't flirting with anyone. Things like "they need to get me away from my asexuality" and "I feel asexual because my ex was ugly "(I don't even know what that has to do with anything) were suggested in the said convo.

I don't have a problem with my body or my looks, but they seem to be fine with the conclusion that I'm not into flirting and hookups because I don't like how I look.

Does anyone experienced a similar thing where they had to prove that they were fine not flirting and dancing uncomfortablely close to a stranger?

https://redd.it/ca8uw8
@asexualityonreddit
Not sure I fit here

I've been questioning for so long and I often feel like I don't want to put a label on it but I'm sick of being in limbo.

I've never had sex. I have no interest in being touched or doing anything sexual. I have also never been in a committed relationship but I might be open to the idea if the right person came along. By that definition, asexual and potentially aromantic fit.

BUT. I feel arousal. *Maybe* less than a handful of times to a man in real life and while drunk. I think that Sawyer from Lost is super sexy. In a "oh man" kind of way and not a beautiful sunset way. But I know that if I met someone who looked like him in real life, I might still find him incredibly "oh man" hot, but I would not want to actually have sex with him. Or anything really. This is true of a number of on-screen leading men.

I masturbate fairly infrequently (a few times a month). I'm fairly certain it has to do with my menstrual cycle because it always happens in a clump at the same time of the month. But I do imagine things when I do it, not just purely sensation. I enjoy romantic/sexual fantasies in general. I've even watched porn on the very rare occasion.

What's so confusing is that there is this divide between what goes on in my head in the imaginary and what I actually feel in real life.

Is there a type of asexuality like this? Where you maybe feel arousal or attraction in the abstract but find the reality of sex and physical intimacy slightly repulsing? I might just say it's low sex drive (is that the same thing?) but it feels like more than that. I've tried to push myself to get out there but whenever I get even close to the vicinity of sex related activities, something in my brain goes "*no I really don't want this,*" and my body shuts down.

This is just so different than a lot of the things I've seen described after briefly looking through this sub. Any thoughts on my severely contradictory feelings?

https://redd.it/cae0db
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