What is your romantic preference?
I am a 23/f panromantic ace, and I'm currious how many others are in this thread. I haven't met any other aces before. Answer if you're comfortable doing so and have a good day!
View Poll
https://redd.it/q5cuzy
@asexualityonreddit
I am a 23/f panromantic ace, and I'm currious how many others are in this thread. I haven't met any other aces before. Answer if you're comfortable doing so and have a good day!
View Poll
https://redd.it/q5cuzy
@asexualityonreddit
Has anybody else noticed a rise in blatant aphobia on TikTok?
Recently I've been getting a lot of videos on my fyp that are just blatantly acephobic, and it's extremely disheartening, especially because it's other *queer* people making these videos.
Most of the videos are attacking demisexuality, calling it a "personality trait," saying hook-up culture has ruined our perspective of normal relationships, and that straight people are calling themselves demisexual to sound queer.
First of all, it seems there is a big misunderstanding as to what demisexuality is. All it means is that a person will absolutely not experience sexual attraction unless they have a close emotional/romantic bond with a person. It also seems like people are conflating sexual attraction with sex. Yes, it's true, hook-up culture is very normal in western countries, but there are many allos who can be sexually attracted to a complete stranger and only be willing to have sex with their partner(s).
I've also seen people say demisexuality is just another way of saying "spicy straight." Demisexuality is not a sexuality only heteromantics use, but one that lesbian, gay, bi, pan, and people of other romantic orientations can be.
The comments under these videos are worse. Some people are even saying asexual people are forcing themselves into the LGBTQIA+ community to be queer. If you are not heteronormative (meaning: you are not allo cishet), you are queer. Being queer is not a sexual orientation, and I'm tired of people treating it as such. I've even had other queer people say I'm forcing myself into the community when I'm a bi-ace who's simply trying to defend het-aces who belong in the community. (Oddly enough, a lot of this aphobia seems like repackaged biphobia, so bi people who date people of the opposite gender also experience being told they're not "queer enough").
Some even try to redefine what it means to be LGBTQIA+. Apparently, straight people can't be in the community, but that completely erases straight trans and other straight gender minorities. I've also been told that aces can't be part of the community because we don't experience oppression. Asexuals have been recognized as members of the LGBTQIA+ community since the early 1900s. We belong in here for our asexuality just as much as any sexual orientation.
It's extremely tiring being a minority in a community of "bigger" minorities, because while we don't face systemic oppression, our issues are widely ignored and don't get enough attention. We are at risk of facing aggression from potential partners or people who want to have sex with us, being treated less than human or even broken for experiencing 0 or limited sexual attraction, being accused of not loving romantic partners, having our romantic relationships invalidated if we don't have sex, having doctors misdiagnose us with mental health issues we don't have, experiencing corrective rape, and more. But now we have to also experience aphobia within the community that's supposed to be so accepting??? It's fucked up and I'm exhausted.
On that note, I'd just like to remind everybody that they are valid. If you're an ace who has your romantic orientation (or lack thereof) figured out, you're still questioning your romantic orientation, you're straight, or you choose to go unlabeled, you're so fucking valid.
https://redd.it/q5i44w
@asexualityonreddit
Recently I've been getting a lot of videos on my fyp that are just blatantly acephobic, and it's extremely disheartening, especially because it's other *queer* people making these videos.
Most of the videos are attacking demisexuality, calling it a "personality trait," saying hook-up culture has ruined our perspective of normal relationships, and that straight people are calling themselves demisexual to sound queer.
First of all, it seems there is a big misunderstanding as to what demisexuality is. All it means is that a person will absolutely not experience sexual attraction unless they have a close emotional/romantic bond with a person. It also seems like people are conflating sexual attraction with sex. Yes, it's true, hook-up culture is very normal in western countries, but there are many allos who can be sexually attracted to a complete stranger and only be willing to have sex with their partner(s).
I've also seen people say demisexuality is just another way of saying "spicy straight." Demisexuality is not a sexuality only heteromantics use, but one that lesbian, gay, bi, pan, and people of other romantic orientations can be.
The comments under these videos are worse. Some people are even saying asexual people are forcing themselves into the LGBTQIA+ community to be queer. If you are not heteronormative (meaning: you are not allo cishet), you are queer. Being queer is not a sexual orientation, and I'm tired of people treating it as such. I've even had other queer people say I'm forcing myself into the community when I'm a bi-ace who's simply trying to defend het-aces who belong in the community. (Oddly enough, a lot of this aphobia seems like repackaged biphobia, so bi people who date people of the opposite gender also experience being told they're not "queer enough").
Some even try to redefine what it means to be LGBTQIA+. Apparently, straight people can't be in the community, but that completely erases straight trans and other straight gender minorities. I've also been told that aces can't be part of the community because we don't experience oppression. Asexuals have been recognized as members of the LGBTQIA+ community since the early 1900s. We belong in here for our asexuality just as much as any sexual orientation.
It's extremely tiring being a minority in a community of "bigger" minorities, because while we don't face systemic oppression, our issues are widely ignored and don't get enough attention. We are at risk of facing aggression from potential partners or people who want to have sex with us, being treated less than human or even broken for experiencing 0 or limited sexual attraction, being accused of not loving romantic partners, having our romantic relationships invalidated if we don't have sex, having doctors misdiagnose us with mental health issues we don't have, experiencing corrective rape, and more. But now we have to also experience aphobia within the community that's supposed to be so accepting??? It's fucked up and I'm exhausted.
On that note, I'd just like to remind everybody that they are valid. If you're an ace who has your romantic orientation (or lack thereof) figured out, you're still questioning your romantic orientation, you're straight, or you choose to go unlabeled, you're so fucking valid.
https://redd.it/q5i44w
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Has anybody else noticed a rise in blatant aphobia on TikTok?
Recently I've been getting a lot of videos on my fyp that are just blatantly acephobic, and it's extremely disheartening, especially because it's...
my mom said she doesn't believe asexuality exits
I'm not out to her, but somehow asexuality came up and she said that she thought it was just a mental disorder. And guess what, it's all because of that stupid fucking house episode. So yah, that's just great.
https://redd.it/q5mjak
@asexualityonreddit
I'm not out to her, but somehow asexuality came up and she said that she thought it was just a mental disorder. And guess what, it's all because of that stupid fucking house episode. So yah, that's just great.
https://redd.it/q5mjak
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
my mom said she doesn't believe asexuality exits
I'm not out to her, but somehow asexuality came up and she said that she thought it was just a mental disorder. And guess what, it's all because...
I hate that sex is everywhere. I don't think I'm asexual, but oh my god I'm so sick of everyone always talking, singing, promoting, etc sex. I'm sick of seeing it everywhere. it's such a superficial desire that I wish was less of a big deal because it seriously bums me out. It's all anyone cares abt
https://redd.it/q5vpj7
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/q5vpj7
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
I hate that sex is everywhere. I don't think I'm asexual, but oh...
Posted in r/Asexual by u/DreamBoatTheCatFrend • 24 points and 1 comment
Happy National Coming Out to Everyone!!
To everyone coming out on National Coming Out Day, all love to you! If you don't feel comfortable coming out today as well, all love to you!
I will say that ever since I came out as asexual to everyone, I've never felt happier in life than now. Joy is something everyone deserves.
​
Studies show that coming out is something that brings positive emotions and better mental health.
​
Everyone deserves to live their truth out. Don't let anyone disaffirm yours.
​
—SouthpawFA
https://redd.it/q5y27r
@asexualityonreddit
To everyone coming out on National Coming Out Day, all love to you! If you don't feel comfortable coming out today as well, all love to you!
I will say that ever since I came out as asexual to everyone, I've never felt happier in life than now. Joy is something everyone deserves.
​
Studies show that coming out is something that brings positive emotions and better mental health.
​
Everyone deserves to live their truth out. Don't let anyone disaffirm yours.
​
—SouthpawFA
https://redd.it/q5y27r
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Happy National Coming Out to Everyone!!
To everyone coming out on National Coming Out Day, all love to you! If you don't feel comfortable coming out today as well, all love to you! I...
The rise of asexual representation
https://youtu.be/FV7C4xos5pY
https://redd.it/q5zc7q
@asexualityonreddit
https://youtu.be/FV7C4xos5pY
https://redd.it/q5zc7q
@asexualityonreddit
YouTube
The Rise of Asexual Representation
from jughead to spock, todd chavez to sheldon cooper - let's talk about the history of ace representation on screen!
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rowanellis
Twitter: https://twitter.com/HeyRowanEllis
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyrowanellis/…
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rowanellis
Twitter: https://twitter.com/HeyRowanEllis
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyrowanellis/…
Is it easier to explain asexuality in a language with multiple words for love?
It’s a trope that Romance languages have all these different words for love, but English has just one. That one word is often translated to the word for romantic love in the other language, even if that is not what a native speaker would use. Similarly, sexual attraction often gets conflated with love. Do people using a language other than English have an easier time getting people to understand the difference?
https://redd.it/q5ujgz
@asexualityonreddit
It’s a trope that Romance languages have all these different words for love, but English has just one. That one word is often translated to the word for romantic love in the other language, even if that is not what a native speaker would use. Similarly, sexual attraction often gets conflated with love. Do people using a language other than English have an easier time getting people to understand the difference?
https://redd.it/q5ujgz
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Is it easier to explain asexuality in a language with multiple...
It’s a trope that Romance languages have all these different words for love, but English has just one. That one word is often translated to the...
3 months ago i posted some art i made and i said in the title that im bisexual. well i realized last weekend that im ace. oh yeah also here is some new art i made.
https://redd.it/q632jc
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/q632jc
@asexualityonreddit
My Aunt Finally Accepts My Asexuality
My dad was raised in a very traditional Hispanic household. He deviated away from some of the traditional views, gender norms being one of them. He never expected me to be a baby-making machine that stayed home and cooked and cleaned all day. Which is good, because I'm sex-repulsed and I barely cook decent food for myself.
My Tia, his sister, has hounded me about getting a man and having kids FOR 13 YEARS. She refused to accept that I just don't want to have sex, ergo not have children, and she even stopped speaking to me for some time while she "prayed for God to cure me."
She messaged me and she was being pleasant, so I took the chance to call. I told her about my dogs who are the loves of my life and how I was thinking about getting guinea pigs again, and she said "Mija, let me come over and meet them if you get them. You sound so happy; it's okay if your babies have fur. That's all you need if you're happy."
I know it doesn't sound like much, but trust me, that's an apology/I love you/I respect you all in one. She even told me that she was asking Google Siri (she has an Android but literally everything to her is Siri) questions about asexuality to try to understand me better.
Sorry that this is a little long, but I'm so excited that I'm going to burst if I don't let it out somehow!
https://redd.it/q65efb
@asexualityonreddit
My dad was raised in a very traditional Hispanic household. He deviated away from some of the traditional views, gender norms being one of them. He never expected me to be a baby-making machine that stayed home and cooked and cleaned all day. Which is good, because I'm sex-repulsed and I barely cook decent food for myself.
My Tia, his sister, has hounded me about getting a man and having kids FOR 13 YEARS. She refused to accept that I just don't want to have sex, ergo not have children, and she even stopped speaking to me for some time while she "prayed for God to cure me."
She messaged me and she was being pleasant, so I took the chance to call. I told her about my dogs who are the loves of my life and how I was thinking about getting guinea pigs again, and she said "Mija, let me come over and meet them if you get them. You sound so happy; it's okay if your babies have fur. That's all you need if you're happy."
I know it doesn't sound like much, but trust me, that's an apology/I love you/I respect you all in one. She even told me that she was asking Google Siri (she has an Android but literally everything to her is Siri) questions about asexuality to try to understand me better.
Sorry that this is a little long, but I'm so excited that I'm going to burst if I don't let it out somehow!
https://redd.it/q65efb
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
My Aunt Finally Accepts My Asexuality
My dad was raised in a very traditional Hispanic household. He deviated away from some of the traditional views, gender norms being one of them....
For the love of god people, hot is a temperature.
Hot is an insulting compliment. It is a fricken temperature. Call me aesthetically pleasing. Call me a work of art. Hot? Stop being lazy.
https://redd.it/q6aj0v
@asexualityonreddit
Hot is an insulting compliment. It is a fricken temperature. Call me aesthetically pleasing. Call me a work of art. Hot? Stop being lazy.
https://redd.it/q6aj0v
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
For the love of god people, hot is a temperature.
Hot is an insulting compliment. It is a fricken temperature. Call me aesthetically pleasing. Call me a work of art. Hot? Stop being lazy.
My ace Friendly Doctor!
So I’ve had the same doctor for my entire life, he was nice, good and generally competent medicine. The one thing that somewhat irritated me was that he would always give me the long sex talk, even though I told him I wasn’t sexually active. It wasn’t a huge deal but it was a bit annoying as that stuff tends to gross me out.
Anyways he retired and now I have a new doctor, despite that she is like 60 when we got to the part about sex she was like “Are you attracted to men, women, both or nether?” This just made me so happy because my previous doctor never asked, when I said neither, she responded with ”Great, then as long as you’re not sexually active we can skip this whole section”
It’s so great to have asexuality normalized for things like this, it just made me so happy I had to share!
(and yes, it was also nice to not have to hear a five minute speech about condoms)
https://redd.it/q6cmk8
@asexualityonreddit
So I’ve had the same doctor for my entire life, he was nice, good and generally competent medicine. The one thing that somewhat irritated me was that he would always give me the long sex talk, even though I told him I wasn’t sexually active. It wasn’t a huge deal but it was a bit annoying as that stuff tends to gross me out.
Anyways he retired and now I have a new doctor, despite that she is like 60 when we got to the part about sex she was like “Are you attracted to men, women, both or nether?” This just made me so happy because my previous doctor never asked, when I said neither, she responded with ”Great, then as long as you’re not sexually active we can skip this whole section”
It’s so great to have asexuality normalized for things like this, it just made me so happy I had to share!
(and yes, it was also nice to not have to hear a five minute speech about condoms)
https://redd.it/q6cmk8
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
My ace Friendly Doctor!
So I’ve had the same doctor for my entire life, he was nice, good and generally competent medicine. The one thing that somewhat irritated me was...
I was accused of racism because I said i was asexual.
There is this girl in my US history class and her(16F) and i(17M) was texting for a long time. There wasn’t anything romantic or sexual between us(at least i didn’t think there were any) i thought we were friends and having normal conversations that friends would have. But this last week she started acting weird and asking me questions like “would you ever shave your mustache for me?” etc. when she finally told me that she wanted to kiss me in a very disgusting way, i was very surprised and shocked. After politely refusing her and explaining that i was asexual, she freaked out and thought I was doing it because she was ugly. apparently she told on me to the school counselor that i made a racial comment about her ethnicity in the US history class while going through the reconstruction topic. The weird thing is; my counselor did not listen to my side of the story and forced me to apologize to her just to be done with this event.
Sorry if my english is bad. Have a nice week people.
https://redd.it/q6aobx
@asexualityonreddit
There is this girl in my US history class and her(16F) and i(17M) was texting for a long time. There wasn’t anything romantic or sexual between us(at least i didn’t think there were any) i thought we were friends and having normal conversations that friends would have. But this last week she started acting weird and asking me questions like “would you ever shave your mustache for me?” etc. when she finally told me that she wanted to kiss me in a very disgusting way, i was very surprised and shocked. After politely refusing her and explaining that i was asexual, she freaked out and thought I was doing it because she was ugly. apparently she told on me to the school counselor that i made a racial comment about her ethnicity in the US history class while going through the reconstruction topic. The weird thing is; my counselor did not listen to my side of the story and forced me to apologize to her just to be done with this event.
Sorry if my english is bad. Have a nice week people.
https://redd.it/q6aobx
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
I was accused of racism because I said i was asexual.
There is this girl in my US history class and her(16F) and i(17M) was texting for a long time. There wasn’t anything romantic or sexual between...