Dragonflies can apparently be ace.
https://redd.it/ox7m07
@asexualityonreddit

Am I the only one who feels bad for my future partner(s)???

Unless they are also ace I feel like I won’t be able to give them everything they need. I know that they’re sexual needs aren’t my problem and with how big the porn industry is it shouldn’t be a problem, but I still feel horrible for them, and I don’t even have a partner right now lmfao. I kind of wish I was demi or an ace who was comfortable with sex, because I’m fine talking about sex but going into details or thinking about doing it makes me so put off honestly. Does anyone else feel this way?

https://redd.it/ox9erk
@asexualityonreddit

desktop version of my ace background!! (as requested)
https://redd.it/oxc29w
@asexualityonreddit

That didn’t go the way I planned
https://redd.it/oxbob3
@asexualityonreddit

Why must we suffer
https://redd.it/oxe3bx
@asexualityonreddit

Wholesome Hugs
https://redd.it/oxhmqf
@asexualityonreddit

Some might say I take it too far
https://redd.it/oxj3if
@asexualityonreddit

It's summer and I'm way too hot and bothered. Please, someone get a fire extinguisher. Quick!
https://redd.it/oxhqd4
@asexualityonreddit

What’s your favourite bit of Ace iconography?

I just came across the garlic bread vs sex pole and saw all the comments saying they prefer cake and that made me wonder

View Poll

https://redd.it/oxh5ih
@asexualityonreddit

I just told my mother...

...that I'd like garlic bread with dinner soon because it's too long since we had any. It's been a few months at least, so definitely not since I realised I'm ace. My family doesn't know about that though, because I'm concerned what the consequences would be if I came out. I'm not concerned about the consequences of eating garlic bread though. Garlic bread is yum!

https://redd.it/oxl92s
@asexualityonreddit

Feeling invalidated after coming out

I've told a guy I trust about my asexuality today and he seemed quite understanding at first and even said he knew other ace people (dude what?! That's so cool!). After I finished he told me it doesn't sound like I'm ace to him, I'm only afraid of relationships. Like, just completely invalidating everything I've said because the "real" ace people he knows didn't describe it like this. Later I told my mom about it (I've been out to her for more than a year) and she just plain and simple agreed with him.
I just don't get it. Why can't they just believe me about my own experiences? Why does it seem so impossible to people that someone just doesn't want a freaking relationship (at this moment in time or maybe ever)?!
Does anyone have experience with similar situations? How did you handle it?

https://redd.it/oxeay4
@asexualityonreddit

Aaaace!!!!!!! Teen titans Raven
https://redd.it/oxhy1u
@asexualityonreddit

Someone else finally knows I'm ace

I was having a chat with one of my coworkers about fictional relationships which led to me saying "I'm not into people". This caused him to ask "you're asexual?".

This is the first time I've talked to someone about it without the other person reacting poorly. That he even knew the right term gave me pure joy. It felt amazing to finally know that there was at least one other person who knew for sure.

A small part of me is jealous that he was able to find the word instantly when it took me well over a decade.

https://redd.it/oxnxhm
@asexualityonreddit

My asexual boyfriend and me. Being in a relationship with another ace person is something I could only dream of. It's the most wholesome thing in the world <3
https://redd.it/oxqryo
@asexualityonreddit

I don’t want romance, I want friends…

I’m male, and I’m 15. I believe most would expect me to like the appearance of people of the female gender. It’s been over 1 year since I discovered asexuality, and time has progressed. I completed my freshman year of high school, and am going to be a sophomore. It’s been about a year and a half since I’ve experienced any form of what I believed to be romantic attraction. It’s also been over a month since I have had any close social interactions, but I believe that's mostly irrelevant in this context.

Anyways, during the school year I met a group of people I really liked. They were calm, and were the only people in the school that I could actually relate to. We played on a Minecraft realm together for a few nights, and all was well. Some of them even joined my club, and it was fun for a while. Unfortunately, this story took a turn for the worse. The realm crashed, I broke my arm, there was a holiday, and the group was disbanded, but the others remained friends. My club more or less failed, and I felt that it was my fault for putting them through weeks of empty and forced club times that added nothing to their lives. The only break I got from this was on our spring trips, when we played some card games and all social barriers were removed. I wasn’t “the only guy in a group of girls”, we were just friends that enjoyed being together. For a few days, it was an escape, just like before everything took place.

The difference between what happened this year and every single friend I’ve had before is all in gender. I’ve never had a female friend before. Every single attempt I’ve made to feel comfortable in a group with at least a couple of females has failed. A couple years ago, I was playing a game with some kids at my middle school. I was blindfolded, and accidentally slapped a girl’s butt. Immediately, the entire middle school was calling me a molester (I WAS 13 and BLINDFOLDED) when I was just trying to interact with some people. I still cry when I think back to that event (including now), but also appreciate the generosity of one eight grader who told me not to listen to what the rest of the school was saying. If it was another male, nothing would have come of it. This level of heteronormativity present in society has prevented me from interacting with any other females, when in general, I find people of the female gender equal to or even more interesting than the majority of male society.

I’m not sure that this is the correct place to post this, but I’ll give it a go. Can‘t we just erase these social boundaries? Can’t we stop assuming that any interaction that someone has with the opposite gender is connected to romance and sexuality? Can’t we just be friends?

https://redd.it/oxmry0
@asexualityonreddit

Aesthetic attraction is hard to explain.

Me (hetroromantic): "She looks beautiful. Look at her."
my friend: "are you sure you arnt gay?"

I feel like it's hard to justify aesthetic attraction to people who are not familiar with the word being separated from sexual and romantic attraction. It's just so frustrating. Both guys and girls can look good, beautiful, cute, etc. Appreciating the way someone looks is just normal. It's not straight or gay. I just find it annoying that I cant express how great someone looks. People instantly think I have a crush on them. Or they think that I want to do romantic or sexual things to them (and I dont). This is annoying.

https://redd.it/oxkzrh
@asexualityonreddit

I think my partner might be on the asexual spectrum, looking for advise on how we can be intimate without sex.

So me and my partner have been together over 8 years, and we've always kinda had different drives for and around sex. I'm not positive he is on the asexual spectrum, he has mentioned he may have some health issues, but either way our respective desires for sex do not aline. We had a big emotional talk recently, where it came to both of our attention that I've been feeling very rejected. We talked alot and I told him that our relationship and his happiness matter more to me then sex, but also that I need more intimacy. He tends to kinda shut down when telling me he is not in the mood for sex(he is occasionally and I don't ask often, to be clear I don't want to pressure him into sex!) And it hurts my feelings how he ignores me. We agreed that it would be helpful if we did something else together, something intimate but non sexual, but I don't really know what that would be. Our society is so sex craZed I don't know how else to connect. I would really love some advice on how we can connect in a non sexual way.

https://redd.it/oxt9pn
@asexualityonreddit

Coming out as an ace is hard - so I don't

Even though I'm happy that I'm not the only one that doesn't experience sexual attraction and that there are a lot of people openly advocating for LGBTQIA+-rights, I don't feel comfortable "coming out".


I don't mean coming out in a sense of "Sit down, here is garlic bread and tea, let's have a talk", but there are some situations you're pressured in a narrative and have to explain yourself. For example if your parents want to talk with you about your love life/getting childreen (disclaimer: being an aroace is for me personally related to my absent child-wish), your friends make remarks like "that guy is totally into you" or a person makes sexual advances. The easiest way would be to just say "Guys, I'm asexual, ". But it isn't.

Coming out as asexual raises so many questions for people who don't get the term. That's ok, I can explain what asexuality is, I don't think that curiosity is something bad. However, asking whether I mastrubate is often a bit too private.

What really gets on my nerves is the paternalism of many people.
"You aren't asexual"
"You haven't found the right one"
"You will change your mind"
"You will marry and have kids"
It's like people think they're somewhat entiteled to determine your sexuality and your path in life.

In my personal environment, I can't hope to be taken seariously as a w18. I'm going to university, I have my own apartment, I earn my own money - but my sexuality? Nononononono. Too young, too unexperienced. I mean it's not even a decision you make.
It's kinda like food. If you don't like tomatoes (which I don't), you really can't do that much about it. But nobody is saying: "You haven't eaten the right one".

I'm tired of explaining myself. I'm tired of people feeling responsible for my sexuality. So I don't come out.
I just reason my personal life decisions otherwise when they come up and remain in the closet.


Like stfu, some people, what's wrong with you?

https://redd.it/oxuhje
@asexualityonreddit

Asexual polyamory sounds fantastic.

Before I learned about asexuality, I told my best friends “let’s just be completely platonic life partners. We’ll adopt kids and snuggle.”

But now, I think that would actually be amazing. Just a bunch of ace people loving each other and pursuing their goals and dreams together without a sexual aspect.

I don’t want sex, but I still have an over abundance of emotional and physical affection to give out.

https://redd.it/oxut1j
@asexualityonreddit

My response to this statement
https://redd.it/oxvzc8
@asexualityonreddit

Someone else: "I hate it when men brag about their body count." Me wondering why someone would brag about murders:
https://redd.it/oxwl8l
@asexualityonreddit