My book club is reading Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex this month.
Hi, my discord book club is reading Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen in our LGBTQA+ book club and I wanted to invite you to join us if you're interested. We'll be reading it throughout the month of August and it's read-at-your-own pace, so you can read it as fast or as slow as you like and just post your thoughts as you go.
You can find us here: https://discord.gg/KgFF9j3GTh
https://redd.it/ox7taw
@asexualityonreddit
Hi, my discord book club is reading Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen in our LGBTQA+ book club and I wanted to invite you to join us if you're interested. We'll be reading it throughout the month of August and it's read-at-your-own pace, so you can read it as fast or as slow as you like and just post your thoughts as you go.
You can find us here: https://discord.gg/KgFF9j3GTh
https://redd.it/ox7taw
@asexualityonreddit
Discord
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What is something that allos (anyone who does feel sexual attraction) do that you don't understand?
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reddit
What is something that allos (anyone who does feel sexual...
Posted in r/asexuality by u/NonbineyRaven • 70 points and 57 comments
Am I the only one who feels bad for my future partner(s)???
Unless they are also ace I feel like I won’t be able to give them everything they need. I know that they’re sexual needs aren’t my problem and with how big the porn industry is it shouldn’t be a problem, but I still feel horrible for them, and I don’t even have a partner right now lmfao. I kind of wish I was demi or an ace who was comfortable with sex, because I’m fine talking about sex but going into details or thinking about doing it makes me so put off honestly. Does anyone else feel this way?
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Unless they are also ace I feel like I won’t be able to give them everything they need. I know that they’re sexual needs aren’t my problem and with how big the porn industry is it shouldn’t be a problem, but I still feel horrible for them, and I don’t even have a partner right now lmfao. I kind of wish I was demi or an ace who was comfortable with sex, because I’m fine talking about sex but going into details or thinking about doing it makes me so put off honestly. Does anyone else feel this way?
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reddit
Am I the only one who feels bad for my future partner(s)???
Unless they are also ace I feel like I won’t be able to give them everything they need. I know that they’re sexual needs aren’t my problem and...
It's summer and I'm way too hot and bothered. Please, someone get a fire extinguisher. Quick!
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What’s your favourite bit of Ace iconography?
I just came across the garlic bread vs sex pole and saw all the comments saying they prefer cake and that made me wonder
View Poll
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I just came across the garlic bread vs sex pole and saw all the comments saying they prefer cake and that made me wonder
View Poll
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@asexualityonreddit
I just told my mother...
...that I'd like garlic bread with dinner soon because it's too long since we had any. It's been a few months at least, so definitely not since I realised I'm ace. My family doesn't know about that though, because I'm concerned what the consequences would be if I came out. I'm not concerned about the consequences of eating garlic bread though. Garlic bread is yum!
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...that I'd like garlic bread with dinner soon because it's too long since we had any. It's been a few months at least, so definitely not since I realised I'm ace. My family doesn't know about that though, because I'm concerned what the consequences would be if I came out. I'm not concerned about the consequences of eating garlic bread though. Garlic bread is yum!
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@asexualityonreddit
reddit
I just told my mother...
...that I'd like garlic bread with dinner soon because it's too long since we had any. It's been a few months at least, so definitely not since I...
Feeling invalidated after coming out
I've told a guy I trust about my asexuality today and he seemed quite understanding at first and even said he knew other ace people (dude what?! That's so cool!). After I finished he told me it doesn't sound like I'm ace to him, I'm only afraid of relationships. Like, just completely invalidating everything I've said because the "real" ace people he knows didn't describe it like this. Later I told my mom about it (I've been out to her for more than a year) and she just plain and simple agreed with him.
I just don't get it. Why can't they just believe me about my own experiences? Why does it seem so impossible to people that someone just doesn't want a freaking relationship (at this moment in time or maybe ever)?!
Does anyone have experience with similar situations? How did you handle it?
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@asexualityonreddit
I've told a guy I trust about my asexuality today and he seemed quite understanding at first and even said he knew other ace people (dude what?! That's so cool!). After I finished he told me it doesn't sound like I'm ace to him, I'm only afraid of relationships. Like, just completely invalidating everything I've said because the "real" ace people he knows didn't describe it like this. Later I told my mom about it (I've been out to her for more than a year) and she just plain and simple agreed with him.
I just don't get it. Why can't they just believe me about my own experiences? Why does it seem so impossible to people that someone just doesn't want a freaking relationship (at this moment in time or maybe ever)?!
Does anyone have experience with similar situations? How did you handle it?
https://redd.it/oxeay4
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Feeling invalidated after coming out
I've told a guy I trust about my asexuality today and he seemed quite understanding at first and even said he knew other ace people (dude what?!...
Someone else finally knows I'm ace
I was having a chat with one of my coworkers about fictional relationships which led to me saying "I'm not into people". This caused him to ask "you're asexual?".
This is the first time I've talked to someone about it without the other person reacting poorly. That he even knew the right term gave me pure joy. It felt amazing to finally know that there was at least one other person who knew for sure.
A small part of me is jealous that he was able to find the word instantly when it took me well over a decade.
https://redd.it/oxnxhm
@asexualityonreddit
I was having a chat with one of my coworkers about fictional relationships which led to me saying "I'm not into people". This caused him to ask "you're asexual?".
This is the first time I've talked to someone about it without the other person reacting poorly. That he even knew the right term gave me pure joy. It felt amazing to finally know that there was at least one other person who knew for sure.
A small part of me is jealous that he was able to find the word instantly when it took me well over a decade.
https://redd.it/oxnxhm
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Someone else finally knows I'm ace
I was having a chat with one of my coworkers about fictional relationships which led to me saying "I'm not into people". This caused him to ask...
My asexual boyfriend and me. Being in a relationship with another ace person is something I could only dream of. It's the most wholesome thing in the world <3
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I don’t want romance, I want friends…
I’m male, and I’m 15. I believe most would expect me to like the appearance of people of the female gender. It’s been over 1 year since I discovered asexuality, and time has progressed. I completed my freshman year of high school, and am going to be a sophomore. It’s been about a year and a half since I’ve experienced any form of what I believed to be romantic attraction. It’s also been over a month since I have had any close social interactions, but I believe that's mostly irrelevant in this context.
Anyways, during the school year I met a group of people I really liked. They were calm, and were the only people in the school that I could actually relate to. We played on a Minecraft realm together for a few nights, and all was well. Some of them even joined my club, and it was fun for a while. Unfortunately, this story took a turn for the worse. The realm crashed, I broke my arm, there was a holiday, and the group was disbanded, but the others remained friends. My club more or less failed, and I felt that it was my fault for putting them through weeks of empty and forced club times that added nothing to their lives. The only break I got from this was on our spring trips, when we played some card games and all social barriers were removed. I wasn’t “the only guy in a group of girls”, we were just friends that enjoyed being together. For a few days, it was an escape, just like before everything took place.
The difference between what happened this year and every single friend I’ve had before is all in gender. I’ve never had a female friend before. Every single attempt I’ve made to feel comfortable in a group with at least a couple of females has failed. A couple years ago, I was playing a game with some kids at my middle school. I was blindfolded, and accidentally slapped a girl’s butt. Immediately, the entire middle school was calling me a molester (I WAS 13 and BLINDFOLDED) when I was just trying to interact with some people. I still cry when I think back to that event (including now), but also appreciate the generosity of one eight grader who told me not to listen to what the rest of the school was saying. If it was another male, nothing would have come of it. This level of heteronormativity present in society has prevented me from interacting with any other females, when in general, I find people of the female gender equal to or even more interesting than the majority of male society.
I’m not sure that this is the correct place to post this, but I’ll give it a go. Can‘t we just erase these social boundaries? Can’t we stop assuming that any interaction that someone has with the opposite gender is connected to romance and sexuality? Can’t we just be friends?
https://redd.it/oxmry0
@asexualityonreddit
I’m male, and I’m 15. I believe most would expect me to like the appearance of people of the female gender. It’s been over 1 year since I discovered asexuality, and time has progressed. I completed my freshman year of high school, and am going to be a sophomore. It’s been about a year and a half since I’ve experienced any form of what I believed to be romantic attraction. It’s also been over a month since I have had any close social interactions, but I believe that's mostly irrelevant in this context.
Anyways, during the school year I met a group of people I really liked. They were calm, and were the only people in the school that I could actually relate to. We played on a Minecraft realm together for a few nights, and all was well. Some of them even joined my club, and it was fun for a while. Unfortunately, this story took a turn for the worse. The realm crashed, I broke my arm, there was a holiday, and the group was disbanded, but the others remained friends. My club more or less failed, and I felt that it was my fault for putting them through weeks of empty and forced club times that added nothing to their lives. The only break I got from this was on our spring trips, when we played some card games and all social barriers were removed. I wasn’t “the only guy in a group of girls”, we were just friends that enjoyed being together. For a few days, it was an escape, just like before everything took place.
The difference between what happened this year and every single friend I’ve had before is all in gender. I’ve never had a female friend before. Every single attempt I’ve made to feel comfortable in a group with at least a couple of females has failed. A couple years ago, I was playing a game with some kids at my middle school. I was blindfolded, and accidentally slapped a girl’s butt. Immediately, the entire middle school was calling me a molester (I WAS 13 and BLINDFOLDED) when I was just trying to interact with some people. I still cry when I think back to that event (including now), but also appreciate the generosity of one eight grader who told me not to listen to what the rest of the school was saying. If it was another male, nothing would have come of it. This level of heteronormativity present in society has prevented me from interacting with any other females, when in general, I find people of the female gender equal to or even more interesting than the majority of male society.
I’m not sure that this is the correct place to post this, but I’ll give it a go. Can‘t we just erase these social boundaries? Can’t we stop assuming that any interaction that someone has with the opposite gender is connected to romance and sexuality? Can’t we just be friends?
https://redd.it/oxmry0
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
I don’t want romance, I want friends…
I’m male, and I’m 15. I believe most would expect me to like the appearance of people of the female gender. It’s been over 1 year since I...