I came out to my boyfriend as Panro-ace today...
And after explaining what all of terms ment (from ace, demi, aro, pan, Omni, bi, ect.) He said 'Hey I'm aro! Wait no, I'm ace. And also I don't get romantically attracted to people very long or often unless I'm super close to them, like you. Or it's Ryan Reynolds.' we had a longer chat, and we decided the labels of demiro ace fit him best :) I'm glad to have helped him understand himself more and I'm also happy my partner in crime is not only accepting of my sexuality, but is also an ace <3.
https://redd.it/opa5r5
@asexualityonreddit
And after explaining what all of terms ment (from ace, demi, aro, pan, Omni, bi, ect.) He said 'Hey I'm aro! Wait no, I'm ace. And also I don't get romantically attracted to people very long or often unless I'm super close to them, like you. Or it's Ryan Reynolds.' we had a longer chat, and we decided the labels of demiro ace fit him best :) I'm glad to have helped him understand himself more and I'm also happy my partner in crime is not only accepting of my sexuality, but is also an ace <3.
https://redd.it/opa5r5
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
I came out to my boyfriend as Panro-ace today...
And after explaining what all of terms ment (from ace, demi, aro, pan, Omni, bi, ect.) He said 'Hey I'm aro! Wait no, I'm ace. And also I don't...
Just found out there are people who actively hate the split attraction model and made the mistake of looking into why
Gotta put a disclaimer that people can use or not use the SAM as they please, it's just a tool to talk about identity. Not everyone needs it.
So the first thing they say is that it "sexualizes people's identity". They think it implies that identifying as say bisexual would mean that their only attraction that matters is their sexual attraction. And some go as far as to say that it's as bad as straight people sexualizing queer identities. It's just such a fucking reach and no one is talking about other people when using the split attraction model.
The second thing I saw was people saying that it like adds to comphet. First thing I have to say there is that I'm bi/pan ace and the split attraction model is the thing that actually made me completely get over my comphet. Like, I never would have gotten past "but I'm not attracted to them if I don't want to have sex with them" if the SAM didn't exist. They talk about this in terms of people who have different romantic and sexual orientations that aren't ace/aro mostly though. Like the bi lesbian "discourse" and shit. And personally, I think that sexuality is messy and these people fully exist, but like even if it was just a way to avoid fully recognizing your own queerness, would people actually accept themselves without it? I think if they were looking for a way to avoid it they would be more likely to continue to identify as straight and I don't get how it's worse to have a "stepping stone." If someone is confused about their sexuality upon hearing about the split attraction model, that's called questioning and it's ok actually. There are some people who are questioning and use the wrong labels because the split attraction model exists and that sucks, but I've used the wrong labels because the word "homosexual" exists and I don't shit on people for identifying as gay.
Then there are people who say its very existence is forcing people to overanalyze their sexualities. Every resource that I found when looking into it for myself said something along the lines of "not everyone experiences attraction like this, you should only use it if it helps you make sense of things" idk if not making that clear was ever a problem, but that just means people should make it clear, not that no one should talk about it.
The last thing was just like "no one cares if you have sex/want a relationship/how you feel attraction" and honestly I'm so fucking tired. I do not live in the same world as these people.
The only actually worthwhile thing was seeing more about how non-SAM aces and aros experience things. Goddamn everything else was a waste of my time though.
Edit: I forgot "cishet people won't get it and it'll make them judge all of us" Not even going to get into that one.
https://redd.it/opcnrg
@asexualityonreddit
Gotta put a disclaimer that people can use or not use the SAM as they please, it's just a tool to talk about identity. Not everyone needs it.
So the first thing they say is that it "sexualizes people's identity". They think it implies that identifying as say bisexual would mean that their only attraction that matters is their sexual attraction. And some go as far as to say that it's as bad as straight people sexualizing queer identities. It's just such a fucking reach and no one is talking about other people when using the split attraction model.
The second thing I saw was people saying that it like adds to comphet. First thing I have to say there is that I'm bi/pan ace and the split attraction model is the thing that actually made me completely get over my comphet. Like, I never would have gotten past "but I'm not attracted to them if I don't want to have sex with them" if the SAM didn't exist. They talk about this in terms of people who have different romantic and sexual orientations that aren't ace/aro mostly though. Like the bi lesbian "discourse" and shit. And personally, I think that sexuality is messy and these people fully exist, but like even if it was just a way to avoid fully recognizing your own queerness, would people actually accept themselves without it? I think if they were looking for a way to avoid it they would be more likely to continue to identify as straight and I don't get how it's worse to have a "stepping stone." If someone is confused about their sexuality upon hearing about the split attraction model, that's called questioning and it's ok actually. There are some people who are questioning and use the wrong labels because the split attraction model exists and that sucks, but I've used the wrong labels because the word "homosexual" exists and I don't shit on people for identifying as gay.
Then there are people who say its very existence is forcing people to overanalyze their sexualities. Every resource that I found when looking into it for myself said something along the lines of "not everyone experiences attraction like this, you should only use it if it helps you make sense of things" idk if not making that clear was ever a problem, but that just means people should make it clear, not that no one should talk about it.
The last thing was just like "no one cares if you have sex/want a relationship/how you feel attraction" and honestly I'm so fucking tired. I do not live in the same world as these people.
The only actually worthwhile thing was seeing more about how non-SAM aces and aros experience things. Goddamn everything else was a waste of my time though.
Edit: I forgot "cishet people won't get it and it'll make them judge all of us" Not even going to get into that one.
https://redd.it/opcnrg
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Just found out there are people who actively hate the split...
Gotta put a disclaimer that people can use or not use the SAM as they please, it's just a tool to talk about identity. Not everyone needs it. So...
Officially "came out" as Asexual to EVERYONE. And it went better than expected.
TL;DR:- Told everyone I was Ace. Went well.
So, I've never really been a closeted Asexual. It's not been something I'd try and hide. My close friends knew about it, and even my mother did.
But yesterday I decided to come out to pretty much my entire family and everyone I knew. I went on every boomer's favourite website, Facebook, and made a post on my wall officially stating I was Asexual, and what that really meant.
Within a few minutes my entire family had seen it. And, a day later, a ton of my friends list had. And....Damn was it overwhelmingly positive.
I didn't expect negative feedback. But I did expect a "ignore and move on" kind of response. But nah. I got supporting messages from family, friends, and even people I hadn't spoken to since Primary School.
It was kinda neat.
https://redd.it/opfugh
@asexualityonreddit
TL;DR:- Told everyone I was Ace. Went well.
So, I've never really been a closeted Asexual. It's not been something I'd try and hide. My close friends knew about it, and even my mother did.
But yesterday I decided to come out to pretty much my entire family and everyone I knew. I went on every boomer's favourite website, Facebook, and made a post on my wall officially stating I was Asexual, and what that really meant.
Within a few minutes my entire family had seen it. And, a day later, a ton of my friends list had. And....Damn was it overwhelmingly positive.
I didn't expect negative feedback. But I did expect a "ignore and move on" kind of response. But nah. I got supporting messages from family, friends, and even people I hadn't spoken to since Primary School.
It was kinda neat.
https://redd.it/opfugh
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
r/asexuality - Officially "came out" as Asexual to EVERYONE. And it went better than expected.
90 votes and 13 comments so far on Reddit
I’ve designed a logo for the Dragon Invasion Alliance. Inspired by a post from u/3kyr a couple of days ago.
https://redd.it/opeq80
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/opeq80
@asexualityonreddit
I told my wife I’m sorta asexual…
I had a whole ass breakdown about it, finally told her, and she just goes “oh that makes sense, yeah me too”.
We have both been trying to force sex when we weren’t feeling it FOREVER, and now I just feel silly.
Anyways, I hope you are all having a great day :)
https://redd.it/opl117
@asexualityonreddit
I had a whole ass breakdown about it, finally told her, and she just goes “oh that makes sense, yeah me too”.
We have both been trying to force sex when we weren’t feeling it FOREVER, and now I just feel silly.
Anyways, I hope you are all having a great day :)
https://redd.it/opl117
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
I told my wife I’m sorta asexual…
I had a whole ass breakdown about it, finally told her, and she just goes “oh that makes sense, yeah me too”. We have both been trying to...
my boyfriend made this meme since he started T (we're both trans he/they) but I thought ya'll would appreciate it
https://redd.it/opeenz
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/opeenz
@asexualityonreddit
This is Dave, Dave loves and supports you and knows you are valid
https://redd.it/opvm4k
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/opvm4k
@asexualityonreddit
I was intoxicated and came out to my girlfriend.
I grew up my whole life being forced into the perfect straight Christian American male. I always thought "I'll feel sexual when I'm older" or "if I do it enough I will like it". Just over the last few months I've learned what asexuality is. I just always assumed something was wrong. I have hinted at it a few times and tried to talk about it but it never went well. My girlfriend was getting upset at me for the umpteenth time about how I don't initiate sex and I was too drunk. I blurted out and it blew up. She said things like "there is something wrong in your brain and you need therapy to change it" "I just want sex like normal couples" and "I love you but I need sex to feel good about myself". I was tired the cycle of being bullied into a corner then pretending like I love it for a while until I stop pretending then it starts over and over. I am very hurt and I don't know how to fix this. I was planning on thinking this through and approaching it gently.
https://redd.it/opuqwl
@asexualityonreddit
I grew up my whole life being forced into the perfect straight Christian American male. I always thought "I'll feel sexual when I'm older" or "if I do it enough I will like it". Just over the last few months I've learned what asexuality is. I just always assumed something was wrong. I have hinted at it a few times and tried to talk about it but it never went well. My girlfriend was getting upset at me for the umpteenth time about how I don't initiate sex and I was too drunk. I blurted out and it blew up. She said things like "there is something wrong in your brain and you need therapy to change it" "I just want sex like normal couples" and "I love you but I need sex to feel good about myself". I was tired the cycle of being bullied into a corner then pretending like I love it for a while until I stop pretending then it starts over and over. I am very hurt and I don't know how to fix this. I was planning on thinking this through and approaching it gently.
https://redd.it/opuqwl
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
I was intoxicated and came out to my girlfriend.
I grew up my whole life being forced into the perfect straight Christian American male. I always thought "I'll feel sexual when I'm older" or "if...