The start of an alliance
https://redd.it/oolyct
@asexualityonreddit

I think I'm a bad ace?

The past year or so of me checking out this subreddit has left a bad impression of myself on me. It's a bit weird, but here is what's going through my life right now.

So earlier this week, I was on a walk with my mom, and we discussed the probability of her eventually getting grandchildren(she's got 4 kids, it'll probably happen one way or another someday soon), so I eventually go "Yeah, I'm not so sure I would want a biological child, but probably adoption,", she sarcastically says "yeah, sure, you certainly won't be hooking up with a woman anytime soon." and I go "well I am asexual"

It is important to note that I've told her I'm asexual several times before, so this isn't exactly some huge revelation, but her old lady brain is forgetful, I'm sure. I've only mentioned it in passing, really.

So she says something along the lines of "You say that now(I have said it to her for the last five years), but just wait until you meet a fine young woman, you'll want to have sex eventually," and I just shrug it off, and tell her "Probably not." We did have a few more words to say on the matter, but overall that was the gist of it.

I keep seeing stories of how people's mental states were practically destroyed because their parents saying something similar, and certainly I feel for those people, but I'm having trouble... Caring about the situation?

Like, I expected myself to be furious about this situation, as sort of a "How dare she try and tell me who I am!" But it's just more of an "Eh, whatever." I just feel like I should care more like I should be furious about this, or sad, or SOMETHING, but instead, I just don't really have any opinions about it one way or another.

Knowing her most of my life, she's certainly the most progressive conservative I have ever met, she has always accepted anyone of the LGBTQ+(after educating herself, of course) so that might play into me not caring as much, but I also feel like it should still hurt more since she is specifically excluding my side from it. I do think given time she will start to understand a-spec people more, though.

I don't think I have zero feelings on this, I mean if I didn't I don't think I would be writing this, but I definitely don't have the feeling I feel like I should.

TLDR: Some possibly incoherent sociopathic ramblings at 1:30 in the morning

https://redd.it/ookhdj
@asexualityonreddit

My Etsy package came today. Behold my boot l'aces! (And lace locks!)
https://redd.it/oondsd
@asexualityonreddit

My closest friend got me this, I now wear it everywhere I go.
https://redd.it/oop4eu
@asexualityonreddit

Random Thoughts on Allos Who "Miss Sex So Much"

A lot of my friends are very hyper-sexual, or maybe it just seems that way to me. Anyway, I was mulling last night over how my friends will be "gosh, I miss sex so much, it's been FOREVER, like 6 months." Here's me, an ace, who is not sex-repulsed, realizing it's probably been like 6-8 months since I've had sex with my partner. Whoops, didn't even notice.

I feel arousal and I understand attraction and under the right circumstances I enjoy sex, but I do not have sexual attraction and this type of feeling always confuses me so hard. My brain forms rhetorical questions like, how is this happening to friends? Is it a physical need? Is it just better for them with another person? What drives this type of thought process that then turns into action?

I don't know, as someone who likes to understand things, I wonder if it's psychological or truly physical. And when I doubt my asexuality, I look at these moments and go "no, no, asexual is right, because I definitely don't feel that and never have."

Anyway, just random thought processes. Anyone else ever have these moments when you're very aware of your orientation?

https://redd.it/oop37s
@asexualityonreddit

I really don't get aphobia.

Now, when i say this, i don't mean that i don't BELIEVE into aphobia, rather, i Simply don't get their thought proccess. Now i DO think the opinion that everybody shoud have a partner or more Is a fine opinion to have like, if i was 41 years old and i had no social interaction with anybody in my whole Life, i coud understand that i probably shoud go and get a GF, but if you FORCE pepole who don't really get aroused by stuff and generally prefer hanging out with Friends than romantic endeavours, then thats when you start to cross the line and start disrespecting pepole. Ace pepole can't experience sexuall arousal, they can't change that, and thats fine. There's no reason to try and change that, because ace pepole are STILL not going to get aroused. And i know that there's another argument the aphobes have, they think that Simply because they don't experience sexual arousal, they think that It means they're somehow stopping the population of mankind from reaching more than what they are right now. Now, consider this, there are tons and tons of pepole who aren't asexual and can experience sexual arousal. And they can reproduce just fine. So therefore why do aphobes think that a group of pepole who don't do sexual arousal are somehow able to stop the progress of all mankind? The other pepole are reproducing just fine. And now with no smooth transition, that ends this rant on why i don't get aphobes. So, have an nice day, continue being yourself, and bye!

https://redd.it/oomb6y
@asexualityonreddit

My biology teacher said that it's impossible and dumb for a person to identify as asexual

During class we were talking about sexual orientations and genders, and the asexual and non-binary topic eventually came out, I know it's not the same but my teacher pretty much thought they meant the same thing, saying that it's impossible for a person to deny they have a gender and that there's two sexes, and that also not having any sexual attraction or sex drive it's unnatural, that we all by nature want to reproduce, and that people that deny this just want attention.

Since I identify as asexual I tried to explain to her more about being asexual and what it means to be asexual, but you know being an old teacher and thinking that they're always right she started to make fun of me and saying that it's nonsense. Eventually I just didn't bother debating, since my teacher is very close minded.

https://redd.it/oorrgv
@asexualityonreddit

Daily Memes Until I’m Out- Day 10
https://redd.it/oole63
@asexualityonreddit

I saw a pic of this cheesecake that looks like the ace flag
https://redd.it/oopjwr
@asexualityonreddit

I hope some of you can relate...I had this conversation a few weeks ago
https://redd.it/oosi9i
@asexualityonreddit

It’s nerf or nothing!
https://redd.it/oovi4c
@asexualityonreddit

An Offering
https://redd.it/oowyvn
@asexualityonreddit

A pin I ordered of the ace flag arrived today. Super happy with it!
https://redd.it/oorpnm
@asexualityonreddit

Just found out allo people who like a guy feel sexual attraction when said guy takes his shirt off (and apparently people actually like their celebrity crushes?)

And I’m sorry what? This entire time I thought the shirt off thing was an exaggerated trope. Then I found a “behind the scenes of a movie where the narrator talks too much” video and an actor had his shirt off for part of it. One of the top comments was about how hot they found the guy and the replies agreed. I found several talking about how they would do unspeakable things to the actor if they had a chance as well. Now here’s where a second revelation happens: people are attracted to their celebrity crushes? I assumed people were like “yeah that one looks decent, I’ll choose them.” Did anyone else not know these things or is it just me??

https://redd.it/oow11z
@asexualityonreddit

If you are Canadian and asexual I will refer to you as eh-sexual and none of you can stop me!



https://redd.it/oowsro
@asexualityonreddit

My asexual pants
https://redd.it/op13yl
@asexualityonreddit

Tell me you’re asexual without telling me you’re asexual

Eg mine is: when my house is empty instead of inviting my girlfriend over i pretend im in my favourite musical

https://redd.it/op0ugs
@asexualityonreddit

I told my allo sister that I wanted to marry platonically, she called it stupid and immature

I said I wanted to get married platonically to my friend in the future and my allo sister said that was stupid. Saying that marriage is for sex and to have a family. Then when I reminded her I am asexual she said I just haven't emotionally matured yet. That even though I'm an adult, I'm acting like a 12 year old. But I will get there when I experience the real world and date people. :/ (even though I've dated before and no gender turned me on)

I ask how about when she is too old to have sex, what's the point of marriage then? She goes to say how she wants marriage to be about spending time with a person she loves the most. I then go, "Well me too! I can marry a friend and we can spend time together-" She rolls her eyes, "Well that's not the same. Marriage has to have sex at some point. Marrying a friend is unnecessary. If you two are friends then you should stay as friends. Getting married is too extreme if nothing will happen between the two of you."

She says she accepts me being asexual yet invalidates me constantly, acting like my sexuality is just a phase. Even though I've been asexual for over 7 years (since I've discovered the word for it)!! I hate fake allies.

What are your thoughts on this or have you experienced something similar?

https://redd.it/op0ehh
@asexualityonreddit

Is it just me or have we been taught to not differentiate romantic and sexual attraction from each other?

Pretty much as the title says. I just realized this now, because i thought of all the times i had told someone i was asexual just to be immediately met with confusion and helpful tips on how to fix it or else all my relationships would fail!

Wait what? Do they not realize that you can feel romantically about a certain person without ever wanting to sleep with them?
And then i realized that they actually don't because of how these two things are almost always presented as pretty much one thing everywhere.

So many people have been conditioned to see them as the same thing!

I even remember my own struggle i had because of this.
And trying to understand if i was truly ace just because find people to be aesthetically pleasing.

I even remember being told multiple times by others that i cannot possibly be asexual because i had a crush on someone in 3rd grade despite me being like 10 at the time. (which on its own is extremely weird to think about crushes in a sexual way when it's literally children)

I am so sorry if this is a completely useless post i just wanted to write it somewhere haha

https://redd.it/op36pk
@asexualityonreddit

When I came out, I wished I had a book about asexuality to give my parents, so I made one! It just got published!!

I am so excited to say that my book, a Little Book of Ace just got published and is now on Amazon in both paperback and ebook. Here is the link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09B2F9BLB? It's already #1 in young adult sexuality new releases :)

What you can expect to find within:

\- Definitions

\- Illustrated concepts and analogies

\- An alphabetized identity index

\- Common misconceptions

\- Some powerful quotes from aspec individuals

\- Journal-styled reflection spaces and personalized identity expression

\- A resources and representation list

I am ecstatic to have this book out there, and quite honestly can't wait to order it myself and fill it out :') When I came out, there was nothing more I wanted than a book where I could feel fully myself and help explain somewhat complex/new ideas to people in my life. I wrote this for you, and I really hope you enjoy it.

https://preview.redd.it/bfrep64hioc71.jpg?width=2320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc5975564298129aaddd5064da8cf81f2cb8bf49

https://redd.it/op57er
@asexualityonreddit

Friends: "How do you know so much? aren't you a virgin?" Me: "..."
https://redd.it/op69gb
@asexualityonreddit