For any Good Omens fans amongst us, I thought I'd share my new Ace Pride Crowley and Aziraphale enamel pins :)
https://redd.it/o7247r
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/o7247r
@asexualityonreddit
Opinion: coming out as asexual is weird to me and I don’t think I’ll ever do it.
So, I understand coming out to family and friends as bisexual, gay, etc. since it’ll be pretty obvious or require some sort of explanation if/when you start seeing someone of the opposite sex (for example). But for me… I’m a cis female, heteroromantic. If I choose to come out as ace all I am really telling people is that I don’t like or want sex like 99% of the time. To me that’s weird - I don’t talk about sex to my family or friends. It feels like it would be so weird and awkward and a TMI moment to volunteer this information to people.
I found out I was asexual about 6 years ago when I was just starting a relationship with my present day husband. I knew I loved him and I didn’t want to lose him, but I knew that I did not want sex. And I was terrified I was going to lose him BECAUSE I didn’t want sex. Of course, my husband knows I am ace. And while I was going through figuring it all out (and being completely distraught over it) I did talk to an ex-boyfriend about it (he was super sexual and I felt like I owed it to him to tell him why I was the way I was). I also talked to a couple of my friends for emotional support. Beyond that first “discovery” phase, I have never brought it up again. Part of me knows like 98% of people will laugh or say something rude or tell me to see a doctor. But I just can’t get over how fucking weird it feels to imagine myself just volunteering to people out of the blue that I don’t like or want sex.
Is this weird? Is that not how everyone else feels about it? I’d like to know y’all’s thoughts and feelings.
https://redd.it/o790aw
@asexualityonreddit
So, I understand coming out to family and friends as bisexual, gay, etc. since it’ll be pretty obvious or require some sort of explanation if/when you start seeing someone of the opposite sex (for example). But for me… I’m a cis female, heteroromantic. If I choose to come out as ace all I am really telling people is that I don’t like or want sex like 99% of the time. To me that’s weird - I don’t talk about sex to my family or friends. It feels like it would be so weird and awkward and a TMI moment to volunteer this information to people.
I found out I was asexual about 6 years ago when I was just starting a relationship with my present day husband. I knew I loved him and I didn’t want to lose him, but I knew that I did not want sex. And I was terrified I was going to lose him BECAUSE I didn’t want sex. Of course, my husband knows I am ace. And while I was going through figuring it all out (and being completely distraught over it) I did talk to an ex-boyfriend about it (he was super sexual and I felt like I owed it to him to tell him why I was the way I was). I also talked to a couple of my friends for emotional support. Beyond that first “discovery” phase, I have never brought it up again. Part of me knows like 98% of people will laugh or say something rude or tell me to see a doctor. But I just can’t get over how fucking weird it feels to imagine myself just volunteering to people out of the blue that I don’t like or want sex.
Is this weird? Is that not how everyone else feels about it? I’d like to know y’all’s thoughts and feelings.
https://redd.it/o790aw
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Opinion: coming out as asexual is weird to me and I don’t think...
So, I understand coming out to family and friends as bisexual, gay, etc. since it’ll be pretty obvious or require some sort of explanation if/when...
Just a couple coincidences
https://www.reddit.com/gallery/o7aofl
https://redd.it/o7aofl
@asexualityonreddit
https://www.reddit.com/gallery/o7aofl
https://redd.it/o7aofl
@asexualityonreddit
Saw a trans meme earlier with this pic and new what had to be done 😂 yes I am directly attacking myself in this 😂😂😂
https://redd.it/o7heel
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/o7heel
@asexualityonreddit
You wanna know what’s crazy? I receive 10x more support from total strangers online than I do from the people in my community. Crazy world we live in. I appreciate y’all so much.
https://redd.it/o7fcys
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/o7fcys
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
You wanna know what’s crazy? I receive 10x more support from total...
Posted in r/asexuality by u/wafflehousetheif • 113 points and 5 comments
My brothers friend said he could “change me” tonight
He came over and was talking about a lot of things pretty nice. I told him I was asexual and he didn’t know what that was so I told him. Long story short he said “I can change you” and touched my butt. My lock on my door is broken and I’m staying up all night. I don’t trust he won’t come in during the night. I’ll message what happens tomorrow. Please put your ideas below what I can do 😣
https://redd.it/o7ifbt
@asexualityonreddit
He came over and was talking about a lot of things pretty nice. I told him I was asexual and he didn’t know what that was so I told him. Long story short he said “I can change you” and touched my butt. My lock on my door is broken and I’m staying up all night. I don’t trust he won’t come in during the night. I’ll message what happens tomorrow. Please put your ideas below what I can do 😣
https://redd.it/o7ifbt
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
My brothers friend said he could “change me” tonight
He came over and was talking about a lot of things pretty nice. I told him I was asexual and he didn’t know what that was so I told him. Long...
Do I Belong Here?
I've been seeing all of these pictures of these adorable ace rings, and I ordered one yesterday but for some reason it has brought up a bunch of feelings for me, imagining wearing it, and especially as it relates to one of my best friends, who is gay.
So a little bit of background...I was married to a man for 17 years. We had constant conflict around sex, and the fact that he always wanted it and I never did. I gave in, what felt like ALL THE TIME, and what felt like never enough to him. I experienced what my therapist would later categorize as sexual abuse at his hands.
While we were married I explored bisexuality. Within my marriage we had a threesome. I thought that might "fix me" and I might find that I liked sex with women. It wasn't really any better or easier than with men. Maybe a bit more comfortable and I was attracted to women so I labeled myself bisexual but also difficult, broken and defective.
After my divorce I dated, had a five year relationship and had all of the same problems. He wanted to, I didn't. The next relationship only lasted six months, and was plagued with the same issues.
So when I found myself almost 50 and single, I was IMMENSELY relieved to decide I wouldn't date anymore, because that was the only way I was going to be able to never have sex again. It's been almost six years. I've considered dating many times, because I would like to have a partner, but the idea of having sex with anyone, many or woman, is just repulsive to me at this stage of my life and I'm not physically attracted to anyone anymore.
I have a very tight group of friends who know my history and know I have no interest in sex. One of my friends is gay, proudly out and in a committed relationship.
When I found this community I was shocked to discover that asexuality is considered part of the LGBTQ+ community. I had no idea. I remember texting my friend when I figured this out and she laughed and said "Welcome! We're a fun group over here!". But that's all we've talked about it, and haven't discussed it at all around the other friends. They just think of me as "the old broad who doesn't like sex". It doesn't help that I'm the oldest of our group.
So what my friends know about me is that I used to identify as bisexual, that I'm post-menopausal and have sexual trauma, both contributing to me not liking sex now. I feel like if I now start referring to myself as asexual they're going to be like "Oh sure, here's the next thing". And I worry that my gay friend will feel like I'm just latching on to the alphabet mafia to feel included in something.
So my question to you all, given that I haven't identified as asexual for very long, and given that I've experienced trauma and menopause which both could have contributed to the fact that I don't have any interest in sex or attraction to anyone, does that make me somehow "less" asexual? Do you have to be born this way to be included in the community? Sometimes I think I've always been this way and was just trying to do what I needed to do to get what I wanted (a stable family and a child) in the extremely repressed time of the '80s and '90s. But sometimes I wonder if I'm only this way because of the trauma and hysterectomy-induced lack of hormones. Will I be seen by the LGBTQ+ community just a privileged hanger-on who hasn't ever been repressed or had to fight for her rights (as a middle-aged white woman I am well aware of my privilege) and just wants to belong. I won't lie, the idea of being part of the community is appealing. I was excited when I found out asexuality is part of LGBTQ+ but, but it does feel different and easier for me, someone who just doesn't want to have sex, than it has to be for someone who has had to fight for the right to love who they love, you know? Maybe I don't deserve to be here.
https://redd.it/o7n1op
@asexualityonreddit
I've been seeing all of these pictures of these adorable ace rings, and I ordered one yesterday but for some reason it has brought up a bunch of feelings for me, imagining wearing it, and especially as it relates to one of my best friends, who is gay.
So a little bit of background...I was married to a man for 17 years. We had constant conflict around sex, and the fact that he always wanted it and I never did. I gave in, what felt like ALL THE TIME, and what felt like never enough to him. I experienced what my therapist would later categorize as sexual abuse at his hands.
While we were married I explored bisexuality. Within my marriage we had a threesome. I thought that might "fix me" and I might find that I liked sex with women. It wasn't really any better or easier than with men. Maybe a bit more comfortable and I was attracted to women so I labeled myself bisexual but also difficult, broken and defective.
After my divorce I dated, had a five year relationship and had all of the same problems. He wanted to, I didn't. The next relationship only lasted six months, and was plagued with the same issues.
So when I found myself almost 50 and single, I was IMMENSELY relieved to decide I wouldn't date anymore, because that was the only way I was going to be able to never have sex again. It's been almost six years. I've considered dating many times, because I would like to have a partner, but the idea of having sex with anyone, many or woman, is just repulsive to me at this stage of my life and I'm not physically attracted to anyone anymore.
I have a very tight group of friends who know my history and know I have no interest in sex. One of my friends is gay, proudly out and in a committed relationship.
When I found this community I was shocked to discover that asexuality is considered part of the LGBTQ+ community. I had no idea. I remember texting my friend when I figured this out and she laughed and said "Welcome! We're a fun group over here!". But that's all we've talked about it, and haven't discussed it at all around the other friends. They just think of me as "the old broad who doesn't like sex". It doesn't help that I'm the oldest of our group.
So what my friends know about me is that I used to identify as bisexual, that I'm post-menopausal and have sexual trauma, both contributing to me not liking sex now. I feel like if I now start referring to myself as asexual they're going to be like "Oh sure, here's the next thing". And I worry that my gay friend will feel like I'm just latching on to the alphabet mafia to feel included in something.
So my question to you all, given that I haven't identified as asexual for very long, and given that I've experienced trauma and menopause which both could have contributed to the fact that I don't have any interest in sex or attraction to anyone, does that make me somehow "less" asexual? Do you have to be born this way to be included in the community? Sometimes I think I've always been this way and was just trying to do what I needed to do to get what I wanted (a stable family and a child) in the extremely repressed time of the '80s and '90s. But sometimes I wonder if I'm only this way because of the trauma and hysterectomy-induced lack of hormones. Will I be seen by the LGBTQ+ community just a privileged hanger-on who hasn't ever been repressed or had to fight for her rights (as a middle-aged white woman I am well aware of my privilege) and just wants to belong. I won't lie, the idea of being part of the community is appealing. I was excited when I found out asexuality is part of LGBTQ+ but, but it does feel different and easier for me, someone who just doesn't want to have sex, than it has to be for someone who has had to fight for the right to love who they love, you know? Maybe I don't deserve to be here.
https://redd.it/o7n1op
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Do I Belong Here?
I've been seeing all of these pictures of these adorable ace rings, and I ordered one yesterday but for some reason it has brought up a bunch of...