𝘿𝙚𝙡𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣.: I wonder what's worse, disappointment in reality or feeling indifferent about whether reality changes or stays the same. Life never turns its back on you. You turn your back on yourself when you allow every closed door to stop you from moving on to the next one. Sometimes we choose to stand at a closed door and hope that it will somehow open, although that may defy logic and although we may know deep down that no goodness will come from it. We wait. We choose to wait. We choose to have hope, and we're always scared that the door will open the second we walk away. We claim ownership over what we do not have and fear losing it, although it really never was ours. We read too much between the lines of hope that we weave in our own mind's imagination, only to figure out at the end that we have woven a web of fragile hopes upon fragile hopes. And just as with a spider's web, once one thread is broken, the whole web falls apart.

<𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂> “the lyrics never kill you” i kill by myself, some rhythms viciously enter my heart wrenchingly. Cigarette smoke is now coming out of the lips, the waiting for the concert to jump, enjoy the beauty even with all the smoke above. Jumping for joy without caring about the experts of the world, thin lips singing along with the screams. Fresh throats enjoy what it is passionate about. Music, you're part of my life without you my life feels lonely music, take me into ur sweet dreams.

Walking lugubriously amidst lumbersome rainstorm and muddy streets.

‌‌‌‎      ★. Emptiness continuously throughout life shrouded in smoldering haze of despair, without hope or purpose. Dead in life, empty in marrow. Reluctant to raise enthusiasm, so hard to live like shortness of breath which slowly depletes oxygen. Far from perfection, then "do i deserve to live in torturous deprivation?" Misery in eternity begins to permeate and believe that happiness will be impossible to enter into psyche trapped in crepuscular.