An invasion..

A man poked his head into a barbershop and asked, "How long until I can get a haircut?"

Glancing at the full shop, the barber replied, "Around 2 hours." The man left.

A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a half." The guy left.

The barber turned to his friend and said, "Hey, Bob, do me a favor, follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back."

A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.

The barber asked, "So, where does he go when he leaves?"

Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, "Your house!"

Why are painters like this?

A professor at the University was giving a lecture on the supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"

About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've seen a ghost?"

About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"

About 15 students raise their hands.

"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"

3 students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"

Way in the back, Abul raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture; no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, Abdul, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"

Abdul replied, "many apologies professor. From way back there I thought you said, "Goat”

this is how I shower btw

When a libtard takes a wrong turn onto MLK blvd.

@AltSkull48

I love america so much.