White Male Pilot: folks looks like we're having some trouble with the nose wheel. it might be a bumpy landing, but I'll have you on the ground in no time.

Female DEI pilot: The landing gear lamp didn't come on, my training manual says on page 38 not to use the thrust reversers, so I will try very hard to keep us on the runway. If I can't do that we may end up flipping over in the grass. I would like to remind all of you to use the restroom on your way out of the aircraft after we land.

Journalists when deciding whose face to blur:

Do all three at once for massive XP boost