If you're having trouble sleeping please enjoy this Horse farting ASMR 🐎 🌬️

A man was driving overnight from a weekend out of town to be in on time for work Monday morning.

He was on track to make it with a little time to spare, when suddenly, on the outskirts of town, outside the local insane asylum, he had a flat, so he had to pull over and stop.

In a panic, he found his missing tire and gathered his tools, but he realized he had misplaced the lug nuts in the darkness and couldnt find them.

Meanwhile, one of the residents of the asylum watched, unseen and silent through the fence of the asylum yard; watching the man fumble in frustration in the dim morning light.

"Are you doing alright there, buddy?" the resident asked, his voice unsettling, unexpected, but not unkind.

Unnerved and flustered, the man vented, "I don't know what I'm gonna do! I can't fix my tire, the tow truck can't get here for several hours, and if I'm late for work again, I'm going to lose my job, and my home, my wife is going to leave me, and my life is going to be over, and now I have a lunatic talking to me-"

"Hey, slow down there!" the resident placated. "Just take a lug nut off of each of the other tires and use those to get to work. You can figure out the rest of the car out later! There's no reason to stress about your whole life all at once; you have to prioritize your problems and tackle them one at a time."

The man, taken back by the sound advice, focused on fixing his tire, and got it reattached. As he was about to leave, he spoke to the resident, "Thanks for your help! I don't think I would have made it without your advice. I honestly didn't expect such kind words from an asylum resident. What do they have you in for, anyway?"

"First of all," The resident responded, "they have me in here because I'm crazy, not stupid."

One fine spring day two guys were fishing on the bank of a local lake. All of the sudden a tweaker came running out of the woods yelling like crazy.... straight down the boat dock and off into the water. He never came back up. The two guys fishing ran to the dock and one of them jumped in and started diving underwater to find the guy. Sure enough he found him! They pulled the guy out of the water and one of them started mouth to mouth to get the guy breathing again. The other guy climbed out of the water and started looking at what his buddy was doing... and said "hey I don't remember that tweaker having a snowmobile suit on do you?"

Everything reminds me of her. Broaching splines in a gear.

Anyone with toddlers?