Traveling salesman knocks on a door. Little Johnny - wearing a silk robe, holding a snifter of cognac, and smoking a Cuban cigar answers the door.

The salesman is stunned, but gains his composure, and says, “Hi there! Is your dad home?”

The Little Johnny says, “What the fuck do you think?”

Do realize that there are a fixed number of consonant sounds in the English language. Some dialects loose certain sounds and other dialects must use more of them to maintain equilibrium. For example in Boston, you can "pahk ya cah" and those missing "r" sounds end up in Texas where they "warsh their trucks".

Have you heard of the Greek hero Bophadees?
He was one of the heroes to fight in the Trojan war. His story is similar to the stories of Achilles, When he was a child, his mother held him by the groin and dipped him into the river styx to make him invincible in battle. Just like Achilles, he had a weak spot. Because his mother held him by the groin, this is where he became the most vulnerable. For Achilles, it was his heel. I'll bet you've heard of the Achilles heel, but I'll bet you've never heard of Bothadees nuts.

My grandad brought down 20 Luftwaffe planes in WW2. Herman Goering said he was the WORST aircraft mechanic he’d ever seen.

A man is shovelling the snow off the drive way. His hands get cold and he goes inside to warm up. His wife says for him to put his hands between her thighs and she squeezes her legs togther to help warm his hands. One thing leads to another..... and a hour later he's out shovelling snow again. His hands get cold, he goes in... wife offers her thighs to warm them up. one thing leads to another.... once again, he's out shovelling the drive way (it's a long driveway). He comes in and asks her to warm his hands. She says "don't your ears ever get cold?"

the new normal